Return to the Fortress of Solitude

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Let's see, Thursday night was Movie Night...and Bubbles, JJ, and I watched "Intolerable Cruelty" starring George Clooney & Catherine Zeta-Jones. I think the feeling surrounding the movie was unanimous. All three of us thought "Wow, this is kind of funny" and "Michael Douglas? Really?" The question came up...and with a few examples in the movie of "Why does that hot girl want to marry that stupid, ugly, rich man?" Knowing full well the answer, I replied, "Wait, stupid, ugly, what man?" "Oh. Ooooh. Okay, I got it now." Of course you do. (Mumble to myself) Great, funny flick though...and oddly fitting since earlier that day, Sir Edmund Hillary passed away...and there's the key scene in there where George talks about him & his sherpa guide Tanzig Norgay. You will be missed, Sir Hillary. After Bubbles left, JJ & I watched the first two episodes of "Big Love" and now, I think she's hooked on it.

Friday morning, I felt like it was a good day to escape to my Fortress of Solitude to relax and gather my thoughts. By the way, just on a side note, it amazes me how much I hold back sometimes compared to what I think. I'm quite scatterbrained...and I also find myself, nearly in every situation, catching myself from saying something or doing something that I might later regret...or I might not...or I just think it's unnecessary...whatever, it gets held back. Sometimes though, I wonder why I do. Oh well, back to the Fortress. This is my mother's house in the beautiful mountain sanctuary of Eden. Again, not a more fittingly named city in the world in my opinion. Here are some pictures that I took this weekend of it...

The Backyard

The Front Yard

The Driveway (yes, that's a Nova in the middle)

The Telephone

The Living Room

The Outhouse

I spent the afternoon with my mom just catching up and relaxing. I like to go here just to wind down...and oddly enough be disconnected from others. Not that I don't appreciate each & every one of you...but sometimes I just need to sit back...in a place where my phone doesn't get reception. So if I didn't reply to your text message or something on Friday, now you know why. It's beautiful, my mom's there, and I just love that place...and I hadn't been there in about six months. Besides, didn't my cards the other day say something about taking time to reflect?

While there, I found out that Carlos Mencia is going to be performing at the Peppermill in Nevada's Armpit, Wendover on Saturday, February 23rd. If you think you might be interested in an overnight swing out to Wendover, let me know and we can set up carpools to go see Carlos and get some high-point drinkin' on. Tickets start at $25.

That night, my mom & stepdad invited me to dinner plans with Rich & Shell...and I hadn't seen them in a few years either. They're good people. We ate at Goodwood Barbecue and it was pretty good barbecue. They kept saying that the waitress was flirting with me too...but honestly, she was just smiling. It's what they do. I had a wonderful blue cheese salad, pulled pork, german sausage, and steak fries...and a half rack of my mom's ribs...because her eyes are bigger than her stomach. During dinner, Rich was telling us old stories from working for the government over in Germany (recently retired...and now has a daughter getting married on the fly in a week). Good times.

After dinner, my sister-in-law called and sounded like she was being...very hormonal, which she is. I'm not just being mean. So we offered to babysit my niece Kairi so that she & my brother (who doesn't go to bed until 6 AM and gets mad when he's awoken at 9 AM) could get some sleep...and so we could hang out with the cutie pie. Here are some pictures of that too...

Here she is tugging on Santa's Balls

Here's what you get when you ask for a pouty look

Saturday, we had pancakes for breakfast...and as you know, I heart pancakes. Kairi didn't particularly like them...but I think it's a texture thing for her right now. I thoroughly enjoyed them. All of them. After a few hours, I loaded up a car seat in my Poor Man's Maybach and drove down to my brother's. Along the way, I played Freddie Jackson's Greatest Hits...and I've sung to Kairi a few times before to get her to go to sleep...and this time was no different. Out like a light. As for me, I was singing right along. She probably thinks her uncle $teve has a sexy, smooth baritone...and she'd be right.

Ad I saw at Papa Murphy's that amused me

I spent the day at my brother's, doing what else? Playing video games...and we watched the new "Alvin & the Chipmunks" movie. It was...exactly what you would expect. That evening though, the time finally came...where I was meet the Messiah once again...and possibly hold my little nephew Vinny. First though, Ash needed to feed him...so I waited in the NICU lobby with my niece and took these pictures...

The "Get Away from Me" Paparazzi pose

Kairi Lee Jeans

"Cuz you're a big girl now"

The last one made me realize...that she's going to be a big girl one day...so I took her up and looked her in the eyes. "Kairi, I want you to pay attention to your Uncle $teve for a minute, okay?" She shook her head yes. "Okay, now I'm going to go see your brother here in a second...and tell him that I'm going to teach him to play basketball when he gets bigger...and the same offer goes to you. If you need help with homework or anything, you can always come to your Uncle $teve. I want you to promise me though...that you'll never do drugs. I don't care how cool you think your friends are...or if Snoop Dogg himself comes up and asks you, you just remember that Uncle $teve is cooler than any of them...and that he loves you, okay?" She shook her head yes...and then leaned forward and gave me a slobbery, open-mouth kissy sucky thing...on my nose. It's was incredibly cute. "Thank you sweetie...and when the time is right, I'll help you with your aim for that too...but not until you're ready...and have two college degrees."

Shortly after, it was my turn to go see Vinny. I scrubbed my hands to the point of pinkness and had my camera ready to go. I walked in and Ash was holding him...and the nurse was there too to find out who I was...but she figured that I was my brother's brother...by height alone. He looked so small in my sister's hands. "Is he awake?" "Yeah, he just finished eating. Do you wanna hold him?" I was scared. Seriously, scared...to hold my nephew. He had the tube going in his nose...and a bunch of sensors and stuff hooked up to machines that I saw a lot of wavy lines like on "ER" or something. He was so small next to my sister...and she's so small next to me...but I had to suck it up and hold him. So I took a deep breath...sat down in the chair...and nervously take him into my bosom. He really seemed to like it. It was really weird to feel his body heat on my chest and everything. It's almost like...I didn't really knew that he really existed until that moment. Sure, I saw him and all...and people had told me about him...but when I was holding that little dude in my hands, that was when it finally clicked "Holy crap, this little dude is really my nephew." The same thing happened with Kairi...and really, I think that's what hugs are really all about. We just need to make sure that these loved ones of ours are really real every once in a while. So hug more.

Are my hands that big? Or is he really that small?

The answer: Yes!!!

Look at this little guy hugging his Uncle $teve

The most awkward smile ever!!!

I was so f**king nervous.

The nurse came and gave us a two-minute warning before visitor hours would be over. So I got these last pictures of him...and I didn't get it...but after I put my camera away, that guy finally opened his eyes ever so slightly...he saw me...and he gave me a big smile.

It was only for a moment...but it was definitely a smile...either caused by seeing me or a successful bowel movement...but it was a smile. I didn't know how to react other than to smile back and say, "There's those baby blues I was told about." He then stretched out his arms and legs in a bit of a fuss...and he's going to be HUGE. "Alright buddy, you just get better...and in a few years when you're ready, Uncle $teve's gonna teach you to ball with the best of 'em. See ya soon." They then put him in his personal tanning salon...and I got this picture before we left.

Anyway, after that I hung out with my brother for a while after Ash went to sleep...then I drove home. Today, I'm going to watch the Giants destroy the Cowboys at Iggy's with some friends...then who knows? The day is young and I feel refreshed. Oh yeah, the Mad Scientist is quickly becoming a Wingman. He sent me a text last night to see if I'd be interested in a double date. I was. Apparently a coworker of his girlfriend was probably coaxed into it...but we'll see. It should be fun. I'm excited for it. Well, that should do it for today. I've caught you up on my weekend thus far. Join me tomorrow when I fill you in on today's activities...and maybe check out the news. Remember to let me know if you're interested in a Carlos Mencia / Wendover trip. Have a great day!!!