Friday, January 4, 2008

Witches of Eastwick Night

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Last night was a Movie Night with Bubbles & JJ to finally watch the highly anticipated "Witches of Eastwick" starring Michelle Pfeiffer, Susan Sarandon, Cher (Smith), and Jack Nicholson. This movie's about twenty years old and quite entertaining. My favorite part was Jack Nicholson playin' the girls…because he's the Devil…so he can play all three simultaneously…in front of each other. That's charisma. I want to be Jack when I grow up. Not as much as Hef…but still, just to have infectious charisma like that would be awesome. I've got a little bit…but I'm still a young Padowan learner to say the least. Anyway, it's a pretty good movie if you guys ever have an 80's movie night fix that you need to fill. The fashion is incredible in this movie…especially Cher. This was mentioned by the other two watchers on multiple occasions. I still think that fashion is the splitting of atoms.



Kooky Dream - This was actually from two nights ago. It starts out that I'm driving my car around town (jumble of various roads & intersections that I recognize…but are all over town). It's a day not unlike today where there's snow pushed to the side & filling parking lots…but it's surprisingly sun. Anyway, driving around…and I think I'm looking for some grub during a lunch break or something. I'm in some kind of a hurry. The car stops. It ain't moving. Now the snow comes a little bit, just light fluffy flakes. I step out of the car, kick the tire, open the trunk, pull out a tie-down, tie it in a circle linking the hooks, raise it in the air, and start to float off, Mary Poppins style or something. Now, when I was a kid, I used to have THOUSANDS of dreams about me flying or floating…but I really hadn't had one in well over a decade (puberty changed my dreams tremendously). Anyway, I'm floating through the snow flakes about 20-30 feet off the ground and just coasting through downtown & neighborhoods…then I see my work building and coast onto the roof, where there's this Egyptian caravan tent setup. I land on the roof and walk into the tent…and there's a few dozen hotties in traditional belly dancing garb. There's an extensive buffet of fruits, meats, dates, the whole nine yards. There's a man in the middle of all these women (the Hefner / Sultan figure) but he looks like Chunk from the Goonies…but in a sultan's outfit. Shortly after that, I woke up. That's all I've got on that one…but I just thought I'd share…because I'm like that. So yeah, I'm thinking in the near future they'll overcome dependency on foreign oil by using some new form of transportation that looks like tie-downs. Keep an eye out for that stuff.



Martina Hingis Banned - This was my #1 reason for EVER watching tennis...and it was just banned from play for two years. Nice. Now I can watch more WNBA. However, Swiss miss Martina Hingis tested positive for cocaine two months ago despite adamantly denying the results…and then the results were further confirmed by the International Tennis Federation. Why is this a big deal? It isn't really. She retired again the day that the test turned up positive two months ago…and I'm glad for her to spend more time with her family (yes, she has a family…that doesn't involve me…unfortunately) but it begs the question, is it just the prerogative of every sport to smudge the names of every athlete to ever play the sport? Baseball, football, basketball, bowling, I'm waiting for the day that professional poker players are banned for smoking & drinking while playing…or sumo wrestlers are stripped of their titles (hopefully off camera) for having above-average MSG levels. "But…Takashi rike soy sauce. Make rice taste good." It doesn't matter. I believe you Martina…and frankly it doesn't matter if you enjoy a little nose candy here & there…because as mentioned yesterday, they're developing a vaccine to help you kick it.



Speaking of which, I had a thought last night (possibly brought on by a good buzz from vodka & Sprite while playing Rock Band with my brother). Do drugs & alcohol make you a better performer? Hear me out. Led Zeppelin, Rolling Stones (overrated), Jimi Hendrix, the Doors, the Who, Ozzy, and basically every rock and/or blues and/or punk band ever…were LEGENDARY drug users as well. Country stars usually chew tobacco & drink Natural Light and Old Milwaukee…which are the equivalent of carbonated urine. Rap & Reggae are basically founded on marijuana. Pop princesses enjoy their nose candy too. I'm sure that even classical flutists have a pipe or two at home. So it begs the question, does it help in their performance? How many of you have tried to the Expert Level on Rock Band? Now imagine it with six strings instead of just one…and more chord changes…and now imagine that you're trippin' balls like Keith Richards. Anyway, I'm surprised that there hasn't been any research that I've heard of on this subject yet…so anybody looking for a thesis project for their medical degree, arts masters degree, or anything of that sort, feel free to use that one. I'm curious what you're results will be. Again, no need to thank me…just pay it forward.



This morning I did more uploading on my iPod…and I'm up to 3000 songs with a lot more CDs to go. The best part is that it's using about 10% of the memory on there…and I really don't plan on using it for movies and stuff like that, primarily just for a LOT of music…and maybe some Drawn Together episodes or something. I like it…because I can carry my whole collection in one little things…instead of about forty pounds of binders. Other than that, not much going on…except same day soon, Bubbles is going to give me another psychic reading…but this time…with ELEVEN cards instead of three. It should be amazing. Anyway, as promised yesterday, here's another movie list with an English action star that you all know & love…and I watched his latest DVD release "War" the other night. Great action flick. Check it out…but here's his list.



Jason Statham Movies - The only action star left (now that Matt Damon has retired as Jason Bourne) with English as a first language and under the age of 40 (he's 35). I sincerely enjoy his movies…so here's his list.



Medal Winners



Gold - The Transporter Movies (2002-05) - Great action movies starring him as Frank Martin, a mysterious James Bond-esque wheelman mercenary who has a very simple code of conduct to get money from the underworld…but not get pinched…until a situation arises where he has to break that code (for good) and then there's a mess of explosions, one-liners, car chases, gunfire, crashes, narrow escapes, and all the usual good action movie stuff. This pick was a little hard for me for one reason. He drives a BMW…whereas in many of his other movies, he's always driving a Chevelle SS muscle car ("War", "The One", "Crank", etc.). I wonder if that's his own Chevelle…because he is such a badass. Anyway, great flicks. The first one's obviously better…but yeah.



Silver - Snatch (2000) - Some may prefer "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels" as the better movie…but not me. I have seen "Snatch" (catchy name) a number of times…and it's still extremely funny…every time. Sure, Brad Pitt's in it…and that's why anybody in America gave a damn…but it's a great ensemble cast including Benicio Del Toro, Vinnie Jones, Dennis Farina, and others. Guy Ritchie made some pretty good movies before he met Madonna. You should probably check both of these movies out just to be safe…and then you can decide which one you like better.



Bronze - Crank (2006) - I loved this movie. Chev Chelios (full first name Chevelle?) has just been shot up with a "Beijing Cocktail" which apparently means if he stops moving, he's going to die. Think of it as "Speed" on speed…and he's a lot funnier and tougher than Keanu Reeves. Amy Smart costars as his love interest…and there is simply no way that you can not enjoy this movie. Saucy humor, action, romance…at a bus stop, car chases, quick wit, helicopters, drug deals, trying to find an antidote for this cocktail, everything enjoyable in an action movie. Good times all around. Favorite line from the movie - "I'M ALIIIIVE!!!"


Suggestion - Cellular (2004) - He plays a rather small part in this movie as Kim Basinger's kidnapper…but it's actually a really good movie that I didn't hear much about until my dad rented it. Okay, quick plot summary: A young man (Chris Evans) receives a call on his cellular phone from a woman (Basinger) who says she's been kidnapped, and thinks she's going to be killed soon, along with her husband and son who the kidnappers have gone after next. The catch? She doesn't know where she is... and his cell phone battery might go dead soon. Check it out. Still not sold? Jessica Biel's in it. That's right, Biel & Basinger in the same movie. Sold now, right?




Flush It - John Carpenter's Ghost of Mars (2001) - Luckily, he wasn't a huge part of this movie that costarred B-movie superstars Natasha Henstridge ("Species" chick), Pam Grier ("Foxy & Jackie Brown"), and Ice Cube…who I love as a rap artist…but as an actor, it's hard to really respect it…especially after those kiddie movies like "Are We There Yet?" and stuff like that. Anyway, it's a space zombie movie. Still okay as far as zombie movies go…but by far, Statham's worst choice to date. Pam Grier needs to be in more movies. Same with Natasha Henstridge. That's just my opinion.




Future Watch - He's a very very busy man now. "The Bank Job" (2008) is based on the true story of the 1971 Baker Street bank robbery which was prevented from being told for over thirty years because of a government gagging order. The real story of how one of the biggest robberies in British history took place with no arrests ever made nor money ever recovered…and you know how I love bank robbery movies. That may be another list soon. We'll see. He also just finished "Death Race" (2008) set in a future version of America, a prisoner (Statham) who is weeks away from being released is forced by his warden (Joan Allen) to compete in a brutal, deadly car race alongside his fellow inmates. "Crank 2: High Voltage" (2009) is in pre-production, so I'm super excited about that…as well as other announced sequels like "The Brazilian Job" (2009) where he retakes his role as Handsome Rob from "The Italian Job" along with Marky Mark, Charlize Theron, and others. I know. I had a different definition of a Brazilian job too...and it was even sexier than Charlize Theron. "Transporter 3" (2010?) is also apparently in the works. Busy, busy guy.



Anyway, that's enough for today. Super busy at work…and I have little more to say anyway. Have a great night everybody and feel free to stop by my buddy Spitso's show tonight at the Urban Lounge. Love, peace, and chicken grease!!!

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