Don't Forget Your Popcorn!!!

Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yesterday was a fun day of football. I watched the first half of the Colts / Chargers game from home and then went to Iggy's for the second half and the Giants / Cowboys game. That's roughly five hours at a sports bar & grill. They have some pretty good Southwestern Egg Rolls…but don't get alcohol there. They have no idea what they're doing…and the Long Island Iced Tea will taste more like the East River. That being said, the staff was at least apologetic about it…after the purchase. They were pretty nice too. But back to the important stuff, the games. First one was a great back & forth fight with the Chargers coming out on top and looking to play the still undefeated Patriots in the AFC championship next week. Oh…and Philip Rivers needs to quit yelling at fans…because if I could have afforded those seats…and that dainty quarterback was talking smack at me…he would have a beverage, popcorn, and anything else that I could find thrown at him in a button hook pattern.

The second game was EVEN BETTER. As predicted, the Giants destroyed the Cowboys and will play the Ageless One, Brett Favre and the Packers next week in the NFC championship. Sure, it was nice to see my least favorite team beaten by…well, the team that wasn't them. That was gratifying on a few basic levels. Sure, it's nice to hear them already talking about firing the coach…because that's their way (and it's led to a decade without a playoff win). Tony Rhomo visibly crying during the last two drives. Sure, it would be easy to pick on him…but to be perfectly honest, he seems like a cool cat. Maybe I'll stop misspelling his name accidentally. Then again, maybe not…because he's slated as the Cowboys quarterback for…how long was that contract for? All were great things from that game…but the one thing that really made me tickle all over…was this morning watching the highlights from the press conference…and seeing Terrell Owens cry. Now, I know what I said a few posts ago about men crying and everything…and I stand by it. However, when I see T.O. on national TV (even if they're crocodile tears to take attention away from his lackluster 2nd half and multiple drops and put the focus on Rhomo and his trip with Jessica Simpson) crying…as an Eagles fan, it makes me smile. Mmm, your tears are great for helping me wash down this popcorn, T.O. Delicious, salty tears of anguish. Mmmm…

Anyway, enough about football, after that I hurried home so that I would not miss a single moment of the series premiere of "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" when it came on. JL Clyde joined me in viewing the Fox Sunday Night lineup…and this show was actually pretty good. It got a little dramatic for my taste at points…but then I remembered that drama (even bad drama) is what turns a movie idea into a television series. Stretch it out. That's why we still have soap operas that have been on since I was a kid and before. The action made up for it though…and Summer Glau is hot…and Lena Headey is too…especially when they have guns & Summer does one of those spinning back kick things. I'm terribly sad that this is going to be on Monday nights…because I'm always working Monday nights…but I'll find a way around it, I'm sure. Besides, I was a little confused when the hottie Terminator pulls up in the truck and says "Come with me if you want to live." Apparently, she means get in the truck…not take your pants off. Just a little FYI so you don't look like a fool if you're even in that situation.

Kooky Dream of the Day - I met a girl last night...in my dream. It's not the first time that it has happened, me meeting someone in a dream before real life...but still, I'm reporting it to you. Because dreams are based mostly on feelings and random images, here's what I know. She's average height, slender, blonde (though probably not naturally), and has bright blue eyes...and she likes what I'm working with. The only other thing that I'm going to share is that there was a brief run across a busy street in the nude...but it was a pretty good dream. We'll see if it happens later on. See you on the news, if that's the case.

Happy Birthday to Robert Stack - Yesterday would have been the 89th birthday of legendary film & television actor Robert Langford Modini Stack, who passed away about four years ago from heart failure. Though much of his early work was more dramatic roles and putting his booming baritone to work…it's the later stuff that most of us remember. The catapult to fame was starring as Eliot Ness in the Untouchables TV series in the early 60's…but probably the image most will remember was his decade as the ominous voice & stoic face of "Unsolved Mysteries." As far as his comedic work, he was also the straight-faced deliverer of some of cinema most incredible rants. Whether it's "1941", "Airplane!", "Caddyshack 2", "Beavis & Butthead Do America", or "BASEketball" (all classics by the way), he always delivered the goods. "These people know something. I want cavity searches all around. Goooo deep on 'em." We miss you, Mr. Stack. Now for the news...

Every Man's Worst Nightmare - A Polish man got the shock of his life when he visited a brothel and spotted his wife among the establishment's employees. Polish tabloid Super Express said the woman had been making some extra money on the side while telling her husband she worked at a store in a nearby town. The couple, married for 14 years, are now divorcing, the newspaper reported. Yes, it finally happened…and made the newspaper. Sure, we've all walked into a gentlemen's club and seen a cousin on stage…but this sounds much worse. I probably would have been a little suspicious when she paid for groceries with a pile of ones or something. Wait!!! That wouldn't work either. Poland's in the European Union. Yes, I know this was a brothel, so I assumed they used that folding neon toilet paper they call money…but how do you tip at a European strip club? Do you throw various sizes and denominations of coins? Using folding money, you couldn't be there more than an hour…and then have to rob another bank. I may have to investigate this further when I go back to Europe…without my grandma next time.

24 Hour Zoo? - Zoo goers worldwide have all asked "Why can't I go to a zoo at night to see all those cool nocturnal creatures?" For centuries, the answer has been "Because it's very hard to see them at night…and zookeepers need to sleep…and you need to get a job" but now, scientists in China are trying to change the way that we look at zoo creatures. How you ask? They first cloned pigs with altered genes that caused them to glow a fluorescent green…and then they reproduced…and their offspring now glow green. Sure, the scientists are all hiding this behind the scientific goal of using cloned and/or gene-altered pigs for producing organs that can be used in human transplants…but we all know this is so that zoos can maximize on that Generation Y Night Owl market…and have exhibits open like Wal-Mart, 24 hours a day. Soon, you will be able to see vampire bats, sloths, tigers, even PANDAS that glow in the dark so that you can see them when they're up and about…at night time. Sure, they wouldn't be able to survive in the wild…but that doesn't matter when they're in captivity for our entertainment…and for our organ harvesting market.

Speaking of Pandas, I'm not sure if I mentioned this before…but the wonderful RoboPanda that I got for Christmas…is incredibly creepy. I've played with it a few times (never alone, usually with Bubbles or JL Clyde there, just in case) and he's…a little slow…but can be mildly entertaining. However, the glowing blue eyes…and little temper tantrums that he sometimes pulls…and telling you to rub his belly…but then saying he's uncomfortable with you rubbing there…is a little unnerving to say the least. I refuse to leave him turned on when I'm not home…because that's when I come home to some clever trap set for me…or if I leave it on while asleep, that's when I'm awoken by the blue glow of DEATH as he reveals his retractable, self-cleaning claws. Sure, he may have trouble negotiating the stairs…but that may be his whole angle…to lull me into a feeling of security…and then BAM, SLASH, STAB, no more $teve to sing the praises of Pandas…and RoboPandas start a nuclear war in which only they can survive, wiping out the remaining human resistance with boring stories about trips to the mountains in which they ask you to rub their head if you want to know more…and then CHOMP. By the way, don't watch the new Terminator series…and then play with your RoboPanda. It'll lead you to creepy images of cybernetic bears sent back through time to destroy you…for some reason.

Canadians Know How to Raise Awareness - Rethink, a breast-cancer charity for young people, is launching the campaign to try to educate young women about breast cancer to make them more aware, but also to take some of the fear away. Breast cancer is the leading cause of death in young women between the ages of 15 and 40, according to Rethink, and nearly one-quarter of all breast cancers occur in women under age 50. However, when breast cancer is caught early, the five-year survival rate for young women is 82 percent. As part of Rethink's "touch, look, check" (TLC) early detection program, women are being asked to do just -- "show their breasts some TLC." To do so, Canadian women are being asked to bare their breasts online in a brazenly novel campaign meant to keep them cancer-free at Booby Wall. Women of all ages, shapes and sizes, as well those as from outside Canada, are welcome to participate in the Booby Wall. Again, as I've mentioned several times…if you're scared to check for yourself, I'm sure there are many amateur physicians that would be more than happy to help you check for anomalies. Together, we can make a difference…and don't forget to share your results online…to give hope to others.

Well, that's really good enough for today. Let's see, I got football, birthdays, pandas, breasts, no movies today. That's a little odd…but I did have a little ditty about the Terminator series. I guess I'll end off with a big Thank You to all my readers out there and the family & friends. Unfortunately, I don't have pictures of my own breasts to post at Booby Wall…but I hope these'll do…and admit it, you'd rather see these than mine anyway.

Sorry, I'm at work. There'll be more cleavage on future posts. Have a great night everybody!!!