Scotty Doesn't Know!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, shortly after my last post, I got a phone call from Mrs. Wingman around 2:30 AM saying that she was in the emergency room and needed somebody to talk to. "What's going on?" Long story short, due to casino negligence (lawsuit forthcoming?), they were trapped in an elevator for over an hour with over twenty other people because the emergency buttons didn't work. They couldn't even call for help. Well, after over an hour in "Hell's 7th ring" they finally got out...but Mr. Wingman wasn't doing too good. Apparently, his speech was slurred and he was having trouble walking. They asked a paramedic if they could get a ride to a hospital...he suggested getting a taxi...and gave them directions to the hospital. So yeah, the way it was explained to me...my Wingman may have had a stroke. Not exactly a great thing to hear at 2:30 in the morning...but I talked with Mrs. Wingman and tried my best to set her at ease. I hope it really worked. I tried to go back to sleep...but it wasn't taking at first. I did get about two hours...then I started getting calls every 10-15 minutes for about three hours...so then I gave up around 10 AM. I did just find out this morning that Mr. Wingman is doing really good. He didn't have a stroke...just a bad MS attack and they should be checking out of the hospital later today if all goes well. I just wanted to get that out of the way so that you guys didn't worry like I did all day yesterday.

As discussed with the Mad Scientist, I'm pretty much done with the month of January (or year of 2008 so far). My job was briefly in jeopardy, a lot of my friends & coworkers are going to be let go, my dad's basement was flooded, my buddy went to the emergency room, friends & their children have been going in for surgery, the Spurs aren't doing so hot, just about the only thing really good was my nephew...and he spent the first week of his life in the NICU. Well, that date the other night was pretty awesome too. I know it could be a lot worse...and thank God that it wasn't...but yeah, I'm done with it. Let's hope February's a lot better. The Fortune Cookie said so.

Anyway, speaking of my nephew, I went and hung out with him and his family yesterday. My brother really wanted somebody to help him out with the kids this weekend & my sister-in-law was hanging out with my mom & aunts for a girl's day out. My niece Kairi was her usual adorable self. She was even singing along with us while playing Rock Band. Sure, she wasn't exactly making real words except for the occasional "Daddy, daddy, daddy" but it was still extremely cute. See, even when she's with my brother, she's cute.

My nephew slept most of the time...but that's good. No matter how much it frustrated my mom that she couldn't play with him. She tried to casually wake him a few times...but that kid slept through us playing Rock Band...so I'm fairly certain he can sleep through just about anything right now. I got to hold him a bit and he stared me down pretty good a few times. He eased up on me once I started feeding him. He definitely has my brother's eyes. Just a little darker blue right now...so they actually look more like mine...but yeah, he's gonna be a stud.


Let's see. We also watched "Eurotrip" which is a silly stupid movie about teenagers going across Europe. It starts out that a guy has a German penpal named Mike...and after getting dumped by his girlfriend (Kristin Kreuk), finding she's been cheating on him with a rocker Matt Damon, and getting trashed...he returns to find an email from his penpal saying how they'd like to come over and comfort him. He sends an email back saying "Keep your eyes off my junk. I don't swing that way. Etc" then when he sobers up, his little brother explains to him that Mike's apparently a girl's name in Germany. Oh...and she's hot...and she's blocked his email so he can't explain that he was trashed. What does he do? Go to his friend's email and send a message? Of course not, he goes to Europe (with the mystery bucks that he got from somewhere) with his crazy perverted friend...and twins that just happened to be there too. Okay, the plot's a bit of a stretch...but it has it's moments. I hate to admit it...but the main song "Scotty Doesn't Know" is EXTREMELY catchy and I can't wait for it to drop on Rock Band Updates.

Rock Band Updates - They may never need to make another Rock Band game if they keep adding on cool songs like "Gimme Three Steps", "All the Small Things", and some of the others that they have added on at $2 a pop. Millions have sold worldwide already...and about a dozen of them to me personally. Why would they make a new one? Maybe if they added on a keyboard? Tamborine? Washboard? Saxophone...for a Funk Band? That'd be sweet...but not coming any time soon, I would guess.

Chuck's Next Victim - James D. Brasher confessed to opening bank accounts in names similar to that of Chuck Norris' Kick Drugs Out of America Foundation. He then fraudulently endorsed checks totaling over $130,000 sent to the foundation and deposited them into his own accounts, using the money to pay his debts and living expenses. Brasher is set to be sentenced in April. He faces up to 10 years in prison, a fine of $250,000 and a three-year-term of supervised release. However, if I know Chuck Norris...and I like to think that I do...Mr. Brasher may not make it to sentencing. Justice will be served...with a mighty roundhouse kick and a alfalfa sprout garnish. Bon appetit, bitch.

$teve's New Sexiest Tennis Player - Now, that my grief over the banning & retirement of Martina Hingis has passed, I can scurry to find a new reason to watch tennis. Maria Sharapova won the Australian Open the other day...and congratulations to her...but you are not the sexiest tennis player out there. I'm sorry. I tried...and you're extremely cute...but you're just not for me. However, the woman that you beat in the Australian Open final, that is what I'm talking about...and her name is Ana Ivanovic. She's of Serbian descent, lives in Switzerland (so she speaks German), she's stunningly gorgeous, great smile, extremely fit, and her forehand smash grunt could make the late George Burns stand at attention. I think that I may have found a new reason to watch tennis. Ana, if you're looking for a good guy to ever show you around the States, shoot me an email. It'd be an honor and a priviledge...and I'll cover the check when it comes...though you made over a million dollars last year. That's also kind of hot. Anyway, enjoy the pictures...and keep an eye on your ESPN network for women's tennis. You never know when you'll get lucky.

Awesome!!! She sleeps with a tennis racket too.

Why is that apple so damn appetizing?

Here's a picture of the ceremonial plates of my

affection being presented to both Martina Hingis

and Ana Ivanovic (yes, she's taller too). However,

Ana seems to be a little confused.

"Who is this $teve guy again?"

Anyway, that's really about it for today. I've got laundry to do...then work. Who knows? Maybe I'll get bored later on or something and do one of those crazy quiz things. I'm also hungry. I'll go take care of that...and I'm sure that you're hanging on every word that I'm saying right now...so let me know what's going on in your deck of the woods...and have a great night. I know I will. Peace!!!