Last night was AWESOME!!! I picked up Bubbles and she informed me that there was a dress code for Habits...so had to change out of my standard dive attire of blue jeans & an orange Utah Blaze shirt (I know, it sounds hot) and into my club attire...which because I don't go clubbing (except occasional baby seals) and have no sense of fashion...was a pair of slacks and my gaudiest Hawaiian shirt. The best part about the shirt though...is even if the ladies weren't biting...there's a hot Polynesian princess all over me. Luckily, the ladies were biting...well, sort of. All the coworker ladyfriends were there (most without their respective males) and they brought the ladies out too. So there was your boy, Dr. Mookie Love, completely surrounded by the HOTTEST LADIES IN THE PLACE!!! That's right. I said it. I thought it several times at the club. I'm sure that the pictures that the ladies took would confirm that...but I didn't take any.
As I glanced around and saw...well, I was usually drawn to the cleavage on display...but beyond that, I realized that there were a lot of middle-aged people looking for that 2nd or 3rd marriage...and a lot of horrible dancing. Now granted, club dancing is not my forte (that would be ballroom dancing) but I never like to dance on a crowded floor (where my elbows can become lethal weapons) so I resorted to doing some Seat Dancing and entertaining the ladies...and being introduced to these beverages called Minderasers. Thankfully, they didn't work...but maybe I just didn't have enough of them. Good times were had by all. Thank you for inviting me ladies...and I hope that your headaches are less severe than mine.
Kooky Dream - Okay, here's what I remember from my crazy dreams last night...which is pretty standard when I've had a few alcoholic beverages. I was walking around...what I think was the University of Utah with none other than Foxy. The thing was that we were talking (I don't remember about what) and she walked into a wall...and of course I was like, "Oh snaps, are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine." "Well, I know that...but are you okay?" Smile. We continue walking...BAM!!! Again into a wall. "You need to watch where you're going, girl. Otherwise you're gonna give yourself a concussion or something." This continued for about four THUNKS until we came to a large group of people at the base of what appeared to be a really steep concrete road that led up to a stadium. There was a loudspeaker that yelled out "GO!!!" and everybody started running up this steep concrete hill. Foxy starts towards it and looks back at me "Come on!!! We can beat these guys!!!" Sure, why not? So we start running up the hill too.
About half way up, there's some commosion and screaming...followed by car projectiles and people being thrown about...by Transformers. (There's a reason this thing is called a kooky dream) Explosions are going off all around. Up the hill is Constructicons throwing vehicles. Below the hill are those jet Decepticons doing their thing. All of a sudden, Optimus Prime (from the waste up) is barking orders and holding his lightsabre sword thing...but can't move...because his legs are running around about 50 yards away and kicking Decepticons in the ass. I'm looking around for Foxy & other people in need of help when I hear her to my left. Just then, a giant robot lands right next to me and aims a blaster or a flamethrower or who knows what...but it's aimed at me...so I start rolling like Dre in a lowrider...only faster towards Foxy. The concrete gives way. THUNK!!! I wake up on the ground next to my bed. That's right, I rolled out of bed unintentionally for the first time since I was a kid. Anyway, looking forward to watching the NFC & AFC Championship games today. My picks are the Patriots & Packers...because I think that'd be the ultimate game to watch. Brett's Legacy vs. Brady's Perfection. I think that's what everybody wants to see. Anyway, here's the news...
Full Moons Named for 2008 - Monday night / Tuesday morning will mark the first full moon of the year. Full moon names were bestowed by the Native Americans of what is now the northern and eastern United States. A few hundred years ago, those tribes kept track of the seasons by giving distinctive names to each recurring full moon. Their names were applied to the entire month in which each occurred. The moon on Monday will be the Full Wolf Moon...which is odd because it's close to my dad's birthdays and he's really big on Native American customs and Wolves. Awesome. Personally, I'm really looking forward to the Full Pink Moon on April 20th. I'm just a little intrigued as to what that means...and being so close to my own birthday...and being on 4/20 for all you smokers out there. Feel free to check out the link for a complete listing if you're interested.
Bush vs. Gore - New research on mice shows the brain processes aggressive behavior as it does other rewards. Mice sought violence, in fact, picking fights for no apparent reason other than the rewarding feeling. The mouse brain is thought to be analogous to the human brain in this study, which could shed light on our fascination with savage & brutal sports as well as our own penchant for the classic bar brawl. The researcher says that humans crave violence just like they do sex, food, or drugs. "Aggression occurs among virtually all vertebrates and is necessary to get and keep important resources such as mates, territory and food," By the way, did I mention that I'm picking the Packers & Patriots in the game today? Okay, cool. Did I mention any sexual frustration, that there was no food in my house, and I don't do drugs? No? Well, maybe I get my violence out by watching other large men beat the crap out of eachother...or just beat the living Hell out of my Rock Band drum set. To be perfectly honest though, I prefer Bush to Gore...though after reading this information on the study, I'd really like to see the mice have a bar brawl. "Oh look, Mickey's going for the stool. Turn around Speedy!!! AAGGGGH!!! He pulled a knife on him. Where the hell did he get that? Oh man, now Mighty's going to jump from the top of the water bottle again. Watch this, it's classic. HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAAAAAAY!!!" Intrigued how it turns out? I thought you would be.
Bionic Eyes - Everybody has thought about being a Terminator, Bionic Woman, Six Million Dollar Man, Predator, Robocop, or some other cybernetic badass. Scientists have taken the first step toward creating digital contact lenses that can zoom in on distant objects and display useful facts. For the first time, engineers have installed an electronic circuit and lights on a regular contact lens. It was difficult for the researchers to graft the tiny electrical circuits, built from layers of metal only a few nanometers thick (for comparison, the width of a typical human hair is about 80,000 nanometers), onto the contact lenses, which are made of organic materials that are safe for the body...but at the rate of scientific innovation, they may have it figured out within a decade. Just think of the possibilities - ability to see great distances with absolute clarity, while pulling up coordinates, information about what you're seeing, prices of admission, movie times, basically accessing the internet while you're looking at it.
Don't forget about infrared, X-RAY VISION, maybe even some kind of diagnostic system that will pull up information on a subject that you're checking out at a club. "Jane Doe, Age: 24, Credit Rating: 425, Marital Status: Divorced with two kids, Turn-ons: Tall guys, fake Spanish accents, and Blogs, Turnoffs: Cowboys fans, Baggage: Meth addiction and currently on probation for chopping her ex-husband's penis, Suggestion: ABORT MISSION!!!" Just so you're aware. The meth addiction was the deal breaker. I'm sure her ex deserved to have his fickle pickle cut off (Cruel & unusual? I mean...isn't cutting off genitalia some kind of crazy Arab thing?) but still...just to know that it has happened...makes you a little skiddish. Anyway, it could come in handy. "Age: 16, ABORT IMMEDIATELY. ADMIRE FROM AFAR."TV Animated Movies - Some were made into live-action movies, some kept the original format. Here is my personal list on the best cartoons to become movies.
Medal Winners
Gold - Transformers (2007) - It won the $tevie for Movie of the Year last year...and I had a crazy ass dream last night about them...so they get the gold. Michael Bay did a great job of mixing incredible action, a reasonably plausible plot, a bit of romance & family ties, several stories going on simultanoeusly that come together in the end, government agencies, and enough comedy to entertain even me. Oh...and Megan Fox & Rachael Taylor are SUPER hot. I'm so glad that I saved Rachael from that giant snake...at least in my dreams. Also, if you're interested, you may want to check out the original "Tranformers Movie" (1986) starring the voice talents of Leonard Nimoy, Eric Idle, Casey Kasum, Judd Nelson, Robert Stack, and even Orson Welles on top of all the usual voice talents. You'll recognize a lot of dialogue in the newer movie from the battle at the beginning between Optimus & Megatron. Or if you're not a nerd...please disregard.
Silver - Aeon Flux (2005) - Gee, why would this movie get a silver medal? Futuristic story, government supression leading to underground rebellion, assassins with cool weapons, biological warfare, fairly intriguing story based on a late-night MTV cartoon that I watched as a kid...what else...oh yeah, Charlize Theron spending the whole movie in skin-tight spandex and kicking ass. When I first heard that they were doing an Aeon Flux movie, I thought to myself "That's great...but if they do a direct representation of the TV series then it's going to be rated R (at best) and go the way of Spawn and flop." Then there was the announcement of shooting for a PG-13 rating. "They're F-U-K-T, fukt!!!" Then the announcement that Charlize Theron is the star. "This movie will make a BILLION dollars!!!" Maybe that number was slightly exaggerated...but it worked. Not quite as bloody & sexy & other stuff that mice crave (cheesy?) as the TV series and comics...but still really good.
Bronze - The Simpsons Movie (2007) - The prize piece in my trilogy of animated movies in this category. After almost 20 years, they finally did a movie (and I feared ending the TV series) but it was entertaining, managed to include a vast majority of the characters without really forcing it, and had a nice wholesome story about family and sticking through hard times...even when the family's monarch is basically retarded. The second piece is "South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut" (1999) which already won a Bronze in my Musical List...but again, a really entertaining story, vast majority of characters, the only thing really forced was the songs, and most importantly...hilarious and true to the series. The third piece is "Beavis & Butthead Do America" (1996) which I still watch occasionally...especially when it's on VH1 Movies That Rock. Mike Judge, the same director that brought you "Office Space", "Idiocracy", and "King of the Hill" made this movie and with other voice talents like Bruce & Demi, Robert Stack, and Cloris Leachman. Check it out. Great soundtrack too.
Suggestion - Masters of the Universe (1987) - Who didn't like He-Man and She-Ra? Dolph Lundgren stars as the Prince of Eternia, Frank Langella as Skeletor, and even Courtney Cox is in this movie before she was in Friends...but after that Bruce Springsteen video. Sure, it's a little cheesy and Dolph goes through more baby oil than a maternity ward...but it's worth a shot. I also suggest checking out "Casper" (1995) with Christina Ricci if you haven't seen it already. It's very well done...and Bill Pullman's in it too. You love movies with Bill Pullman. I also had to through in the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle" trilogy (1990-93) thought they are incredibly cheesy and get progressively worse. At least check out the first one if you liked the cartoons. The second one had Vanilla Ice. The third, they traveled back to ancient Japan. The new CGI "TMNT" (2007)? My mom and I both fell asleep watching it.
Flush It - Inspector Gadget (1999) - So many flushable movies here...but I chose this one because Matthew Broderick is no Don Adams...and I just really didn't like this movie one bit...and I loved the TV series. I haven't seen the sequel with French Stewart but I assume it's better...because it really couldn't get worse. Also noted is "Rocky & Bullwinkle" (2000) with a star studded cast including Rene Russo, Randy Quaid, Jason Alexander, Piper Perabo, Carl Reiner, John Goodman, and ROBERT DENIRO as Fearless Leader. How could this movie suck? It found a way. I haven't seen "Underdog" (2007) but then again, I don't think that anybody has...and for good reason. "Fat Albert" (2004) wasn't any good. Brendan Fraser did okay in "Dudley Do-Right" (1999) & "George of the Jungle" (1997) but they weren't great. I was a little disappointed with "Mr. Magoo" (1997) but I have high expectations for Leslie Nielsen. I'll stop there. Don't worry, the two "Flintstones" movies were good. They just didn't make the list.
Future Watch - Jonny Quest (2010?) - If they don't make this movie about the kid detective with the cool gadgets and a best friend named Hadji, then they might as well do a movie based on the parody of this show, "Venture Brothers" (2010?). I also wouldn't mind seeing a live-action "Jetsons" (2009?) or JUST THE DVD BOX SET of one of my favorite shows of all time, "Duckman" (2010?). Yay for cartoons!!!Have a great day everybody...and I'll see you around. Peace!!!
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