Happy Halloween

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

I guess yesterday was my first non-blogging day of the month. (Gasp) But don't worry, it'll happen a LOT in November (remember, two-week trip to Europe and weekend in Dallas...oh and spending Thanksgiving with the family/work). Yesterday, I went over to my dad's where he was watching the James Cameron flick "Aliens" which I had bought him last Christmas (because I rock). I showed up for the last half...and we had a fun old time watching it. After that, we headed to the IHOP to get some food in our bellies. I'm not talking about IHOP...but THE IHOP, where $teve likes to take his dates for many reasons. Among others...

• It's Cheap - The money that you save by eating there, as opposed to some snobby French restaurant, you can use for greater things...like donations to local charities, paying off student loans, various massage and body oils, the Ring True Foundation, sexy novelty elephant underwear, the possibilities are endless.


• It's Delicious - The food is scrumptuous. Best of all the food is fat-free. By that, I mean the fat is free with purchase of meal...but for those of us who like a little cushion with their pushin' and can appreciate a girl that can down a Philly Cheese Steak Super Stacker, onion rings, AND a side of chocolate flapjacks...and STILL have the ability to raise the big top in my one-ring circus, it's a great place.


• It's Menu is Diverse - Whether you want breakfast, lunch, dinner, kid's menu, country fixins, cheesesteaks, bacon, fajitas, talapia, rabbit food, whatever, they've got it. Don't get me started on the beverages. If they only had a bar...


• It's a Great Way to Gauge Reactions - Are you dating a Golddigger? If you suggest IHOP and she rolls her eyes, ball one. "Why don't we go to the Melting Pot or something?" Ball two. Mmm, that was a delicious meal and you're quite funny...and seem to think the same about me (bonus, strike one). Oh look, the check has arrived. You look at me like I should instinctively offer to pay for your meal (waive off that pitch, time for the slider). "So, it looks like your half is about ten bucks, I'll take care of the tip." "I ugh...didn't bring my money." Ball three...and she really going to have a hard time catching a cab home if she doesn't answer this next question to my liking. Ball four means that you're walking...home. "Okay, that's cool. I have a better idea. (Leans in to whisper something in her ear) Look, I really like you...and I think that you're incredibly sexy...which is why I want to give you one more chance. Whattaya say we make a run for it?" "Really?" "Yeah really. Why do you think I parked so far away from the restaurant? Okay, so I'm going to go to the bathroom (wink wink) and I'll meet you by the Barnes & Noble across the parking lot." "That sounds so dangerous...and hot (Strike two because she thinks I'm hot) Let's do it!!!" STRIKE THREE, we're out!!!


• The Staff is Usually Really Nice - Which is why I do actually pay for my meal...but still the above scenario is pleasing on many many levels when it works to my satisfaction...and among many reasons why I'm single. The real response is usually "Are you f**king kidding me? (Yes) I can't f**king believe this. Never call me again you cheap bastard. F**king IHOP??? And now you want to welch on the check??? (Quiet down, you're causing a scene, narc) Take me home!!! (That's four balls, you walk home)" "What? I would never do something like that. I'm sorry everybody, this girl is mentally ill...and DON'T TRY TO BLAME THIS ON YOUR HERPES TOO!!! If anything, it's the Hepatitis." That's right, if you mess with me in public, I'll say that you have genital warts. I don't care if it's your family's Thanksgiving dinner. Let that be a lesson to all the crazy, dramatic girls out there. But yeah, the staff is pretty nice...and can't press charges if you actually pay the bill. There's another lesson for ya.

After lunch, we headed out to Bountiful Lake. If you've never heard of Bountiful Lake, allow me to give you directions. Take the Centerville exit off I-15, turn left towards the garbage dump, it's on the southeastern end of the dump, adjacent to the Legacy Highway (still under construction) and within smelling range of the oil refineries. However, it's surprisingly calming and beautiful given it's location...and a great place to snag some fishies. I hadn't gone fishing in about ten to fifteen years before Tuesday, so this was nostalgic of the good ol' days. Just me, my dad, the fish, and some kids scurrying around on those roller scooters. Except for the beeping of nearby construction vehicles going in reverse, it was very peaceful...and my dad & I talked about...well, whatever. We hadn't seen eachother in a few weeks, so we caught up and talked about family, fun trips, fixing cars, and basically just trying to make eachother laugh. I even had time to work in a "Dad, you're my dad and...I love you man!!!" "You're not getting my Bud Light. HAHAHAHAHA!!!" If you don't remember that commercial (or weren't born yet), I apologize. It was a good one. No fish were caught...but we still went home with full bellies and smiles. You can't really ask for much more than that, right? Here are some pictures from my camera phone. I have some others of ducks on my other camera...but there was unpleasantness with my computer...so I'll add them on later.

Movie Night - For Movie Night, we had a total of five attendees comprised of Bubbles, Mr. & Mrs. Wingman, my friend/coworker JJ, and myself. We watched "Love Actually" but it was more like the background noise to our good times. Then something happened. As you may know, Mr. Wingman and I are smartasses. We say smartass things to get a laugh out of people...and unfortunately, especially if people are introduced for the first time, these smartass comments can be taken the unintended way. It doesn't mean anybody did anything wrong or things were taken the wrong way...just that there was a miscommunication. It happens. Still, I think that we had a good time...and I look forward to many future Movie Nights.

On a similar note, Box Girl didn't make it...but she had told me that later Monday (worked last night), so it was no surprise. However, we may be doing something later in the week. (Fingers crossed) So wish me luck, huh. Let's see, other than that. Nothing much has gone on today...except due to popular demand, I am at work in my Chewbacca outfit. Some of my other coworkers are in great outfits. Bubbles is a badass police officer. That's really about all that you would know from my blog. Check out the guns!!!

So I was changing into my Chewbacca outfit in the bathroom stalls at work...and it reminded me of something that you might find interesting. The situation arises where I'll be the only person in a public bathroom with multiple stalls. After I get well into my #2 procedure, somebody else will come in & have to do their business as well. I've been in there for a few minutes...and I'm not one of those people who are unaware that their feces does not emit an unpleasant odor. Back in the day, I would be awfully nervous to make audible fratulence with somebody in the stall next to me...but I've found a solution...and hopefully it'll spread like wildfire. "Good sir, I challenge you to a Farting Duel!!! Do you accept my challenge? Toot once for yes, twice for no." "Are you talking to me?" "I am. Now do you accept my challenge...or will you be a coward?" "Well, when you put it like that..." Then we see who can make the rudest noise or make the other cough uncontrollably until a winner is crowned. Really though, we're both winners...because we weren't afraid...and we both dropped kids off at the pool. Anyway, that's my thought on the situation.

Well, not much else going on with me at this moment...so I'll leave you with a wonderful little love horoscope thing that I tried. I think it's surprisingly accurate...but you listen to my BS, let me know what you think...and have a Happy Halloween!!!

Taurus - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits: You tend to stick with relationships - through the good and the bad.You are a great listener and tend to give valuable advice.Cautious and careful, you never jump in recklessly... saving yourself from heartbreak. Your negative traits: Money is very important to you, so much so that it's a cause of arguments in relationships.If your lover isn't loyal or attentive enough to you, your eyes start to wander...You tend to keep things inside - so your partner may not know when or why you're upset. Your ideal partner: Is stable, serious, and ready to be committed to you.Is successful and able to provide you with the lifestyle you crave.A true romantic, who is willing to express their desire for your heart. Your dating style: Comfortable and traditional. You'd love to have a nice meal at a cozy restaurant. Your seduction style: Love comes first for you before you'd even think of intimacy.Traditional: you're not a cold fish - but you're not into kink either.Pleasing... you always make sure that your partner is having a good time. Tips for the future: Be willing to change your mind. Who you think is the love of your life may be very wrong for you.Try listening to your mate. While your stubborn streak is hard to break, sometimes your partner knows best.Lighten up! The first months of a relationship should be about fun, not intentions. Best color to attract mate: Pale blue Best day for a date: Friday

What's" Your Love Profile?