Another Quiz before Laundry

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

It's kind of a glum, windy day here...and my mom just called to tell me that it's snowing massive amounts up at her crib. This is the winter of our discontent...but I'm surprisingly content. So I thought that before I started my chores for the day (laundry, dishes, identify that urine smell, toilet scrubbing, etc.) that I would do a quiz survey thing that I was sent. Why not? Check in tomorrow...when I discuss the latest news & events...when I have time for it.

Body:
1. If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?
"Is it mine?"

2. Do you trust all of your friends?
I trust them to do what I expect them to do...for the most part.

3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
Yes'm...but first things first...let's get to finding that Unicorn...

4. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
Yes...as in something happened in the past, therefore something's happening now.

5. Name two things you would NOT tolerate in a relationship?
Cheating and apartheid

6. Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor?
Besides me? I can't really think of anybody else that I would let cut me open. It's nothing personal, it's just that I've seen all of you drunk or worse. I wouldn't let ME cut me open with what I know. That's what the gas is for...so I wake up and "I don't care who dunnit long as it done."

7. Are you afraid of falling in love?
F**king petrified!!! (Reverse psychology)

8. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?
If by random you mean every six seconds...then yes.

9. Would you stop talking to your friends because you hooked up with a new person?
That's a dick move. DAAAAAVE!!!

10. When was the last time you flew in a plane?
About a month ago...and I'll be doing it again in two weeks.

11. What did the last text message you sent say?
"WHAT THE HELL IS AN ALUMINUM FALCON???"

12. What features do you find most attractive in the preferred sex?
Eyes, smile, and I tend to work my way down.

13. Fill in the blank. I _______ jagerbombs.
Consistently have ingridents for

14. What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
Pity sex...did I mention that my girlfriend just dumped me?

15. If you were to wake up from being in a coma for a long period of time who would you call?
Ghostbusters....then my mom

16. How many kids do you want to have?
As many as my wives will have for me. It's really their call though, I just provide the giggidy goo

17. Would you make a good parent?
I like to think so...but I'm certainly a kick-ass uncle already.

18. Where was your default picture taken?
I have a confession to make...I am not really "The Dude" but I am a Lebowski Achiever.

19. What’s your middle name?
Danger

20. Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
Do you really even half to ask? Seriously, all my answers have a bit of innuendo in them. I'm OBVIOUSLY thinking about having a polygamist family. Right now, I'm just trying to figure out the budget...and I think I've got it figured out.

21. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
I would start Playboy...shortly after the American Revolution concluded...and invent a whole bunch of cool stuff...like Pet Rocks and fax machines and stuff...

22. Shoe size?
Nine inches...oh, I mean fourteen.

23. What are you wearing right now?
Too much...there, that's better.

24. Righty or Lefty?
Righteous Brothers

25. Can you make a dollar in change right now?
Yeah...but I prefer foldin' money

26. Best place to eat?
In bed

28. Favorite animal?
Pandas...and you know this. By the way, what happened to 27?

29. Favorite juice?
Movie Producers...go ahead, read the question again...

30. Have you had the chicken pox?
Yes...and they're delicious. Try them with Honey Mustard or Barbecue sauce

31. Have you had a sore throat?
Are you kidding me? If anybody in the world honestly answers no, I shall be surprised.

32. Ever had plastic surgery?
Do I look like I've had plastic surgery?

33. Who knows you the best?
The Shadow

34. Do you get along with your family?
Too much, I should start some conflict soon. It's almost the holidays.

35. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
No, thank you Lasik

36. Favorite Bar Drink?
The one that comes with your number...

37. Been to Mexico?
Ensenada for about six hours

38. Did you buy something today?
Gas - That's right, global warming is MY fault.

39. Did you get sick today?
No, but the day is young...and I'm almost sick of this survey. (Sorry if you feel the same way)

40. Do you miss someone today?
Probably...what do you care?

41. Did you get in a fight with someone today?
Are you threatening me? Come on survey, you wanna take this to the yard? I can take this to the yard.

42. When is the last time you had a massage?
New Orleans...but I've given a half dozen since then

44. Last person to see you cry?
I think Tony. Whoever made me laugh really really hard last...

45. What was the last TV show you watched?
The Star Wars Family Guy

46. What are your plans for the weekend?
Nothing much. Thinking about going to see my brother.

47. Who do you think will repost this?
Martin Luther? I don't know. It's their call.

48. Are you happy?
Tehehehehehehehehe yeah...

Until tomorrow, have a great weekend kids!!!