Be Prepared

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

I'm just taking a break from scurrying about and getting final preparations ready for my trip starting on Monday. I'm still going to have to do some laundry or something over the weekend...but other than that. I'm pretty much ready to go. I really am going to miss blogging to you guys...but I always take notes (especially when I plan on drinking a little) and plan on letting you know all about it...and hopefully inspire you to go see the world too.

Facial Hair - Well, it has been officially one year since I started this whole facial hair thing...and the results have been pretty average. Now, I'm wondering if I should go back to my babyface days or keep going with the devil's haircut. What do you guys think? Excuse me, what do you ladies think? Guys, feel free to sound off too...but obviously it's not intended for you. No offense. It's fairly easy maintenance, I tend to stroke my chinhairs, I'm even told that it tickles a little bit when I kiss, but is it sexy or anything? Will I lose my loyal fanbase of hotties with trimming a few whiskers? I'd like to think not...but let me know. By the way, thanks for all the comments recently. They're a lot of fun to hear and greatly appreciated. It's nice to know that people actually kinda read this thing. Anyway, here are some before and after shots. Forgive me, but the latest pictures I have of me without facial hair are from my Scotland trip three years ago...and I wore glasses. I'm the tall guy in the middle surrounded by my ladies...cuz that's how a playa do.

I warned you it was a bad picture...at least of me.

Still surrounding myself in beautiful women...

Other than that vacation preparation stuff, I don't have a whole lot of plans today except kick back maybe watch "Spiderman 3" or something. Oh yeah, yesterday I watched "License to Wed" with Robin Williams, John Krasinski, and the highly doable Mandy Moore. It was pretty good. A little cheesy...but Robin Williams is who he is...and apparently he's hilarious. This morning I watched "Carlito's Way: Rise to Power." Yes, even though my only image was Puffy in a mink, I thought it was worth a shot. It was a pretty good movie, especially considering it was a straight-to-DVD budget movie. Jay Hernandez does a pretty good movie of carrying this thing with a supporting cast including Mario Van Peebles, Juan Guzman, Burt Young, and of course, Sean "P. Diddy" Combs as Hollywood Nicki, druglord of Harlem. Poppin' Diddy Fresh actually did a pretty good tough mob boss in the few scenes that he had...but the movie is nowhere near the masterpiece of the Brian DePalma film with Al Pacino. Besides, the stories don't line up at all theatrically (this one's a prequel to the Al Pacino one) so that kind of bugged me. No more details though. Go check them out...especially the great one.

Martina Hingis Retires Again - I'm not much of a tennis fan...but there is one tennis player that I just can't help but watch. No, not Maria Sharapova or Anna Kournikova. Martina Hingis, my little foxy Swiss Miss, winner of Wimbledon and 5 Grand Slams announced today that she is going to retire (like she did six years ago but pulled an MJ to comeback two years ago). Her reason for doing so at this time, is because she has been accused of testing positive for cocaine at Wimbledon. "I find this accusation so horrendous, so monstrous that I've decided to confront it head on by talking to the press," she said. "I am frustrated and angry. I believe that I am absolutely 100 percent innocent." First off, I believe her...and secondly, it doesn't matter. If she wants to party while in England, that's her thing. I can't blame her for that. It's not a performance-enhancing drug last I checked. Quite the opposite, I thought. Maybe she should get special consideration with that in mind. "Side out! It hit the line." "What? Somebody say line? (Sniff sniff)" I don't know about all the validity of these drug tests. I'm not a chemist, nor do I claim to be (one of the few things I don't claim to be).

Either way, it doesn't matter. She's retired now...and can spend time with her loving family without having to be criticized by allegations of drug use like she's a pop princess or something. You'll always be my Swiss Miss tennis hottie named after a Eastern European she-male tennis champion. You always knew how to play the game - Fair, well, and sexy. If you ever find your way over to Utah, stop on by. I'll cook you up some fondue (I have the pot, fondue pot that is) and we can talk about the good old days on tour. No yayo though, please. I'm just saying it's a house rule. I didn't mean anything by it. Just because Scarface is all over the walls doesn't mean that stuff flies here. "Rule #2 - Never get high on your own supply."

Andy Reid's Family Drama - Speaking of such matters. Andy Reid is the head football coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, my favorite team since I was eight years old...and he's been there for a decade or so. However, his sons are a couple of winners...and the grand prize is jail time. 24-year old Garrett Reid was sentenced to 23 months in jail for crashing into another driver while high on heroin. He has had a long history of drug use. Also, his 22-year old brother Britt is awaiting sentencing for pointing a handgun at the other driver after the accident. Say what you will about him being a f**king idiot, but at least he had his brother's back. Kids, don't do drugs. Please please pleeeeease don't do drugs. You have no idea what it does to your family, friends, coworker buddies, acquaintances at coffee shops, other drivers on our roads, all the other people that you influence on a daily basis...oh yeah...and it's not to good on YOU either. Anyway, that's my plea...but you're going to do what you think is right...and I respect that. I'd say "What Would Jesus Do?" but he seemed like a bit of a hippie. I blame his parents. What did they want for baby presents? Frankensense and Myrrh? I'm not sure what that's good for...but I'm pretty sure that Joseph & Mary toked up that night after the baby went to sleep. Sorry, had to lighten it up a little bit there. I like to pull out the Holy Material once in a while. I also feel a soft spot for Andy Reid because he looks so much like my stepdad. Just say no!!!

Flexibility is Never Ever Overrated - As you may know, I'm quite the fanatic of flexibility. In Germany, a 19-year old woman escaped prison by folding herself up into another woman's suitcase and she walked right out the front door. Neither have been caught...but it doesn't really matter for the 19-year old because she's serve out the last two weeks of her sentence with no additional jailtime IF caught. Why? It is not illegal to break out of jail in Germany. It's what's known by Steve McQueen fans as "The Great Escape Clause." Why do you think Hogan's Heroes had such a cake walk time at their camp? They serve schnitzel, beer, and spatzel to inmates. Damn, I wanna spend 30 days in a German prison. It's like a month long vacation. They probably even sing "Schnitzelbank" with beer maidens decked to the nines. Those German know how to create a society...now. So yeah, keep stretching girls. You never know when it'll come in handy. Besides, it's a lot of fun in the right circumstances.

Well, that's gonna do me for right now. Back to getting things squared away and ready for my adventure into Europe. Join me tomorrow when we talk about...whatever. Maybe I'll do another movie list. I haven't done one of those in a while...and Robin Williams is a great actor comedian. Why not? So until tomorrow, have fun, stay away from drugs (unless you're looking for a rebound), and keep stretching. Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease...