Come On, Get Down with the Sickness

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

I am really sore today. Why? I'm ill. I was pretty good last night after work...but then I woke up this morning...and I was sore all over. I don't get sore very often...usually only after helping somebody move...and it's just sore muscles that I don't normally use (like those muscles on the bottom of your forearms, connected to the wrist, you know? I don't know their medical names...but I call them my jumpshot muscles.) Even after a hard day of labor, I'm usually not sore...but it may just be a sign of me getting old. Or it may just be because I'm sick. I'm gonna chalk it up as that. Once my illness is gone, I'll be back to my supreme physical specimen status. Oh, and I may have infected a few of my coworker friends that I went bowling with...but hopefully they won't get the worst of it. Don't worry about me, I'll be better very soon. I hope that they do the same. Getting sick sucks.

The worst part about being sick for me really...is the dreams. I don't remember a whole lot about them last night...other than they weren't cool by any means. My body hurt and coupled with images of myself and friends in awkward situations (to put it lightly) left me less than in a good mood when I woke up this morning. How do I counter that feeling? "Woke up this morning, smiled at the rising sun, three little birds, come by my doorstep, singin' sweet song, a melody pure and true. Singing 'This is our message to you-ou-ou!!!' Sayin' don't worry 'bout a thing, cuz every little thing gon' be alright!!! Singin' don't worry 'bout a thing, cuz every little thing gon' be alright!!!" By the way, if you're not singing along yet, you should be. Bob Marley rules!!!

The best part about being sick for me really...is that now Barry White & Billie Dee Williams have competition for the smoothest, silkiest baritone ever. The ladies love it. I like to make the older ladies giggle...and the younger girls squeal. It seems my sexiness goes up two levels for every octave that my voice drops. Oh...and I get to sit next to Bubbles today. That's a good thing. We both like to keep the other entertained to make the day go quicker...and it works. Anyway, I'm overworked as usual here at work...so I'll just talk about some news tidbits that I found amusing...then I'm sure that I'll have a few more projects especially for me by the time the day is through. (Sigh) Kids, don't make yourself indispensible at your job. If you do, you'll only gain responsibility and get the same pay...and you can't be promoted...because the people that delegate your work will have to find some other sucker to do it. I'm not angry. I really like my job. I'm just passing this note of advice to you. Find something that you like to do. Back to you, Mookie...

Lohan Friend Sues Blogger - Don't worry, it's not me. I double-checked. It's that Perez Hilton blog. Allegedly, the blog posted that her friend had planted cocaine on Lindsay and the she took the fall for her friend, which is completely unfounded. Damn you Perez Hilton for trying to further perpetuate lies & accusations to my friend Lindsay's friend!!! Does this fall under the 1st Amendment? God, I hope so. I've said some pretty bad stuff before on this blog. Luckily, I'm not THAT popular...but I wouldn't expect Perez Hilton to have to pay for defamation. Oh yeah, Britney Spears is suing them too for illegally posting songs. It's simply not a good time to be Perez Hilton. Oh well, Lindsay's doing better...and she's asked me to help her find a nice place here in Utah. I'd love to share more with you...but she doesn't want it to be highly publicized. She's a good girl...and trying to turn her life around. Please understand.

Lars and the Real Girl - Now, there's another anticipated movie for me...and it's this one. Ryan Gosling ("Fracture" & "Half Nelson") stars in a movie about a man who falls in love with his sex doll Bianca. That's beautiful. I love Hollywood...even though they take my ideas constantly...and this goes well with my viewing of Battlestar Galactica. Honestly, I would have had sex with them too. A lot. Still would. Oh, they can become pregnant now? That's cool. The kid'll make the basketball team. Guaranteed. What was I saying? Oh yeah, check out this movie. Even though it's only PG-13, it'll probably be pretty good.

Director Hired for Thundercats Movie - Jerry O'Flaherty has been named as the director for a CG-animated Thundercats movie to be released some time this next year. Who's Jerry O'Flaherty??? I'm glad you asked...because I did too. He's the art director behind such video game masterpieces as "Gears of War" and "Unreal Tournament III" so he's got to be good, right? As for the real-life movie, still nobody signed on...or script really...but it is due out sometime before 2015. I'll keep you posted on what I find out. THUNDERCATS, HOOOOOO!!!

Is there anything Vodka CAN'T do? - About two months ago, Australian doctors used an intravenous feed of vodka to keep an Italian tourist alive after he consumed large quantities of a poisonous substance. Apparently, the 24-year old man had consumed ethylene glycol and the hospital quickly ran out of medicinal alcohol (the standard treatment). Luckily, the janitor had a bottle of vodka handy, so they hooked him up to it...and it saved his life. For more uses of vodka, check out this link.

Anyway, that's probably good for today. I'm pretty pooped...and I have yet more work to do. Peace out!!!