Kairi's 1st Birthday!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Today is my niece Kairi's first birthday. It seems like just yesterday I was holding her pea-sized body in my arms saying to myself "Don't drop this thing. Don't you dare drop this thing. God help you if you drop this thing. They will never forgive you. Focus on keep this thing off the ground. That is your goal. Don't look into those beautiful eyes. There will be plenty of time for that when she's not so brittle." Now, she can hop around, climb like a monkey, kick like a mule, and take a drop from three feet square on her noggin. Not that I've done that or anything...but hypothetically. Anyway, as the coolest uncle ever, I just thought that I would share that with you...and show you pictures of her taken earlier today.


I'm really proud of my brother & sister-in-law for raising her over the past year (and I guess 9 months before that). She's a pretty good kid...so far. Can't wait for those Terrible Twos though. That's going to be fun to hear about, I'm sure. "I have no idea who fed her candy while I was babysitting. She probably stole it outta my hand. Anyway, have a good one. See ya in a few weeks...suckaz!!!"


You may be wondering how I spent the rest of my day...and I'm more than happy to share. My mom needed a ride to the airport early early early this morning...and being the greatest son to walk the Earth since Jesus, I was more than happy to help her. After that, my buddy Bubbles wanted to be a hot cop for Halloween...but she was on a strict budget. My dad was a police officer and county sheriff for about seventeen years, so I thought I'd stop by his house to see if he had any of the old gear. In the few hours between the ride to the airport and when he woke up, I went home and watched "Hostel Part II" but more on that later. After the movie, I went and hung out with my dad for a few hours while looking around for old cop stuff. We found some...but he threw most of it away a while ago. I think that Bubbles will be able to make due with what we found though. While hanging there, we flipped around the channels and watched "Magic" another creepy movie.

After that, I went home, changed for work, and am putting in another eleven hour busy day. Good times. Oh yeah...and I bought a bottle of Jaegermeister for a Scarface movie night tomorrow after work. If you have suggestions for a good Scarface drinking game, let me know. I'm thinking "Cackaroach" is a good word. Somebody getting shot may be a good action...but I'm open to suggestions.

Movies that Creep Me Out - As I've probably mentioned before, most horror movies have little to no effect on me in a frightening manner (yet I also confessed to fearing Michael Jackson because of the "Thriller" video and a fear of green toilet monsters as a child). However, the two movies that I saw earlier today are creepy to me...and I'll gladly explain why.

Hostel Part II - For those of you who refuse to see gory horror movies or have just been living under a rock for the past few years, this movie is about European backpackers who get tricked, drugged, and end up the end product in an organization where rich adrenaline junkies pay good money to murder somebody in Slovakia. The original and this one are really good for the same reason. It's really quite plausible that it could happen...and there are plenty of urban legends that there are actually places like this in Southeast Asia and other places in the world. Also, just a word of advice, if you're going on a long vacation in...say, two weeks...through Europe, it's probably not a good idea to watch a movie like this. Especially if you don't know the native languages, so they could be plotting right in front of you...and you have no idea. As for the movie, it was really gory but I liked it...as I did the first one. Buildup, suspense, all the key elements of a good horror film were in play. Good show, Eli Roth.

Magic - We stumbled upon this 1978 classic on AMC. I had never even heard of it before...but it's great. You should check it out. It stars Sir Anthony Hopkins (back when he had real color in his hair) as Corky, a talented magician and ventriloquist with one little problem...he has a split personality, the other being his dummy Fats, who's a homocidal maniac with a hand up his backside. Burgess Meredith stars briefly as a manager trying to get him to the big time...but once he becomes a star, he goes back to his hometown and rents a room from his old flame Peggy, played by the always hot Ann-Margret. They start to get along...then the doll gets jealous...and the creepiness that is Sir Anthony Hopkins comes out. It's a great thriller in my opinion...because it's about somebody who simply crazy and can disassociate themselves from the evil stuff that they do...because they're delusional....and Tony Hopkins is just a creepy person in general. Look at those eyes when he does this movie, or Hannibal Lecter, or that new "Fracture" movie. He's got a gift. That's why he's been knighted. The Queen just said, "Oh bloody Hell, please stop giving me those googly eyes with that icy stare. If I knight you, do you promise to never creep us out again? My word!" "Absolutely your Majesty!!!"

Australians Know How to Party - A 31-year old barmaid in Pinjarra, Australia "is alleged to have crushed beer cans between her bare breasts" while an off-duty colleague was fined for hanging spoons from her friend's nipples, according to police Wednesday. Now, the beer-crushing barmaid and the hotel manager were both fined $1000 Australian (US$900) while the spoon balancer was fined A$500. Once again, Big Brother in Australia is trying to keep the party down...but the rebelloius nature of the Australian people still know how to party. I think that we, here in America, should take notice...and those among us who can recycle with our own cans (That's you, G-Cup Julie!!!) should do so...because you're not only helping people to party...but saving the planet.

Anyway, that's it for tonight. Barbarella is coming...and the movie is probably waiting in my mailbox right now. Yeah, it was a bad pun. So what? Have a great night...and I'll see you tomorrow...well, not see...but you know. Happy Birthday Kairi!!!