Scary Movies...sort of

Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen,

Okay, so Saturday, the trip to Lagoon was cancelled due to weather. No biggie, I was there six days earlier...and half the girls going aren't very dependable anyway (I kinda dated one) so I hate to say it...but I wasn't surprised. The weather was bad too. That may have been the final factor...but no harm. I still hung out with my buddy K because we were the two that actually showed up...and we just watched some Family Guy and stupid movies. Well, one stupid movie...but it had Stephen Dorff in it...when he was thirteen but looked ten or so. It's called "The Gate" (1987) and it was sold to me as one of the stupidest 80's horror flicks ever...so I was sold...and it didn't disappoint. Kids accidentally stumble upon a hole in their backyard that unleashes demons...and the hilarity ensues. It was pretty lame...but quite entertaining. I suggest watching it with friends...and making fun of it the whole time. If that's not what cheesy horror movies are for, I'm not sure why they're made. K shared with me that she was really scared of this movie when it came out...and she was like four years old or something. Then I shared that I was scared of the Michael Jackson "Thriller" video (true) and that led to a common denominator...we were both afraid of the movie "Ghoulies" though we had never seen it. Why? This poster.

This poster (viewed when I was two years old at the video rental area at my local gas station) set me back a few months in my potty training...and still causes me to put the toilet seat down after use. For God's sake, it even says that "They'll Get You in the End." I know what you ladies are thinking, "Ah, he puts the seat down. Why isn't he married?" Probably because I keep a 9mm next to the spare toilet paper for the same reason. If I feel something nibbling on my backside while I'm dropping the kids off at the pool, they're having a little side of lead with their rump roast. Seriously though, I'm over it...and she's over her fear of this movie too. That's what counts. Oh...and I watched "Ghoulies" for the first time about six months ago...and it's insanely stupid. Worst part - No monsters out of the Crapper (in honor of Sir Thomas Crapper). I have yet to see the sequels...

Speaking of movie I hadn't watched, after "The Gate" we watched "Labyrinth" with David Bowie and a jailbait Jennifer Connelly. I had only seen a minute here & a minute there flipping through channels before...and it was actually a pretty good show. I love Muppets...and Jennifer Connelly...and it had plenty of both. I thought that David Bowie was pretty cool too...but not because of the bulge in his leotard like K...but because of the cool tricks with the crystal balls. I'm telling ya, I's gots to learn this magic. That's why the ladies love him really. Forget quarterbacks and longball hitters, Magicians get all the chicks. Anyway, if you're surprised that I had never seen "Labyrinth" before, here's another list of popular movies that I've never seen...either just out of the lack of opportunity or just no strong will to see. You decide.

• Rocky Horror Picture Show
• Any Woody Allen movie
• Most horror sequels (Friday the 13th, etc.)
• The Breakfast Club
• The first three Harry Potter movies
• Most CGI kids shows since "Finding Nemo"
• Tom Hanks & Meg Ryan movies that don't end in "Volcano"
• Good Will Hunting
• Any movie where dancing is implied and there's not a brass pole on the poster
• Julia Roberts stars in _______
• Love Story
• I passed on Pearl Harbor after the 1st disc (I read the book at school)

Today, I went to my dad's and we had a little family time together. My brother and his family (with both nieces) showed up as well as my stepsister and my nephew Canon. We laughed, had Colosimo's Brats, watched the Patriots / Cowboys game (What was the popcorn for T.O.? BIIIIIITCH!!! Sorry for the outburst.). I hate to say it. The Patriots may go undefeated...barring injury as always. I'm a devoted Eagles fan (they won #2 today) but I can't argue with the stats and lineup. The question has been asked "How can you beat the Patriots?" and my response is with another question, "Who's Tom Brady's backup? Because then you might have a chance if they're in the game." Damn charming, talented s'mbich...but one question, who do you think is more honored in this picture? Brady or the Pope?

Where was I? Oh yeah, so we hung out as a family and my nieces and nephew love me. I'm a cool uncle. It's all good. When everybody left, my dad & I watched "Death Proof" and he loved it. Again, if you haven't seen the movie, check it out. Now, I just saw the Boise State Broncos win a 4OT college football game 69-67. That's not a football score. Not even on Madden. Believe it or not, the game ended on a defensive play. That's about it. Nothing more to really talk about today, I guess. My family rocks. Now, K and her friends are trying to convince me to go to Lagoon in a few weeks...and I'm skeptical to go out of my way. Understandable, right? Thought so. Now to end the blog off with a bang...

Ah look, Sarah grew up...