You're My Boy, Blue!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

I'd like to start things off by wishing a happy first anniversary to Mr. & Mrs. Wingman on this 7th of July. Can't wait until I live within shouting distance...but in the meantime, I am going to celebrate staying in Utah for the time being...with a Rock Band party this Friday, so if you're interested. Feel free to stop by. There will be booze, charred mammal flesh, edamame, shadow puppets, the company of great people, and Rock Band with 7.1 Dolby Digital Surround Sound & projected on an over 200 inch screen (wall). Good times & lots of fun.

Yesterday, I didn't do much during the day except watch TV movie versions of "Kill Bill" (Party Wagon? Seriously?), "Ultraviolet" (my Milla fix), and possibly one of the most thoroughly funny movies ever made by man...Old School. Seriously, is there more than a minute in that movie where you don't laugh hysterically? Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, Luke Wilson, even cameos by Sean William Scott, Jeremy Piven, and Juliette Lewis are hilarious.

Based on a suggestion from the Mad Scientist though, I decided to finally go to a coffee shop and try to pick up on girls...awkwardly yet charmingly. So I went down to one of the local Beans & Brews (two within walking distance), order a Mr. B (I don't know what's in it...but I'm guessing it contains delicious crack), set up my laptop, and basically wait for people to show up...because it was a Sunday afternoon. While there, I basically just sent emails to JL Clyde to entertain her at work & checked out the news (pan down if interested). The beverage was delicious...but in the two hours that I was there...the only girl there without her boyfriend was the girl that made my beverage...and I wasn't going after her. It was later suggested that I try a place near the university which makes perfect sense...and instead of just pratting along on my keyboard...to read a book of poetry or something. Conveniently, I do have a few poetry books...that I've actually read a few times...and memorized a few back in high school (to impress the female nerds in the clubs that I was in) but mostly John Donne. So if somebody inquires about my reading...and they like their 16th century preacher poets who wrote beautiful love poetry to their jailbait nieces, then I'm good to go. Great ice breaker right there. More attempts to be mysterious & interesting later...but I think I'm too open for all that. What do you think? Based on what you've read about me on this blog...would you be interested...or am I EXACTLY what you're trying to avoid?

This morning, I helped my dad pick up an old stereo that somebody he works with (moving to Reno) was giving away...but that's not all. It was an original 1963 Pioneer stereo system with a record turntable, cassette player (probably one fo the first years), AM/FM phonograph (kid you not, that's what it said on the owner's manual...and yes, the owner's manual was with it), two CS series speakers (medium size 8" woofers), and a collection of records that was simply amazing. I'm talking the Beatles "Revolver" album, original Lynyrd Skynyrd (including the revoked one after their plane crash), Led Zeppelin "Houses of the Holy", the Ventures, the Holy Bible as narrated by the Statler Brothers, Perry Como, Bob Seger, ten kinds of Clapton (Byrds, Derek & the Dominos, God himself, etc), and many many many more with some great value to them. Thanks Ruby!!! You rock!!! Anyway, here's some news while I'm at work...

Panda Update - A panda who was relocated after China's deadly earthquake damaged her home gave birth to twin cubs on Sunday. Guo Guo is the first panda to give birth since the 7.9-magnitude quake struck Sichuan province on May 12, killing nearly 70,000 people and leaving 5 million homeless. One cub weighed 6 ounces and Guo Guo was cuddling the other cub and staffers at the Bifengxia Giant Panda Base were not able to weigh it. The report did not give the sex of the twins. This is awesome news...because not only are the pandas breeding...bu they're doing so in Brangelina fashion...two at a time. Maybe the techniques that I kept telling them about when I was over there in China are finally starting to pay off three years later. Yeah, I know. I should be used to being right all the time...but it still startles me once in a while...because statistically, I have to be wrong at least once in a while, right? It's simple mathematics & probability. Anyway, congratulations to Guo Guo & now...during the next hundred days, I'm sure they'll have a contest to name the twins...and might I suggest Ren & Stimpy...or whatever that translates to in Chinese (probably "Angry Rat Dog" & "Nasty Pussy Cat" or something). Maybe they can just wait until Angelina has her litter...and copy them. I still think Ling Ling's a good strong name too. Any other suggestions? (God help you if you say Mary Kate & Ashley)

Pompeii Update - Now, I may have mentioned during my travels there in November that I've always wanted to make a movie about Pompeii now that we have CGI technology & the option of an orgy scene in the movie industry...not like "The Last Days of Pompeii" back in the 50's. However, the Italian government declared a state of emergency at the Pompeii archaeological site on Friday to try to rescue one of the world's most important cultural treasures from decades of neglect. A cabinet statement said it would appoint a special commissioner for Pompeii, the ancient Roman city buried by an eruption of the Vesuvius volcano in AD 79 and now a UNESCO World Heritage site. Archaeologists and art historians have long complained about the poor upkeep of Pompeii, dogged by lack of investment, mismanagement, litter and looting. Bogus tour guides, illegal parking attendants and stray dogs also plague visitors. (But the dogs are really cute & friendly though) Some 2.5 million tourists visit Pompeii each year, making it one of Italy's most popular attractions, and many have expressed shock at the site's decay. Basically, the report says that at least 150 square meters of fresco & plaster work are lost each year due to erosion (and probably unlicensed patron souveniors) and preservation that started thirty years ago isn't cutting it. In fact, the parts of the city that haven't been excavated yet...are literally a trash dump for the nearby city of Naples and is scattered with tires, fridges, and mattresses. Truly sad...but I'm sure that the Italian government will find a way to preserve this incredible place. I mean...it's not like they've elected porn stars or anything. Oh wait...maybe we should help them out. Nah, the Euro's stronger than the dollar now. It's their problem. Feel free to check out my pictures from last year.

Wax Figures: The New Clowns? - In our pursuit to preserve history, sometimes we do some silly things. We've turned the Leaning Tower of Pisa into a symbol of a great nation full or sooooo many cooler things. We display bones of people & giant animals that no longer exist in museums...and yet there's still a market for endangered animal skins. However, wax museums are filled with figures of humans throughout history to...well, basically show just how creepy it would be to see them frozen in time...in three dimensions. Like you went back to a moment in time...yet were frozen there (so you could give Napoleon a wedgie or put his hand down his pants instead of in his lapel or something). Now, they recently opened a Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in Berlin...and of course, when you think of the history of Germany, who's the first person that comes into mind? No, not David Hasselhoff, the other guy. No, not Dirk Nowitzki, shorter...with a silly moustache. Geraldo's not German, not even close. I'm talking about Hitler. Anyway, on opening day a 41-year old German man tore the head off the Hitler wax figure and I'm guessing the authorities stopped him before he could skull f**k the former German dictator responsible for the death of millions.

Now, the interesting thing about this story in my opinion, is that it is illegal in Germany to show Nazi symbols and art glorifying Hitler and the exhibit was cordoned off to stop visitors posing with him. Unobtrusive signs asked visitors to refrain from taking photos or posing with Hitler "out of respect for the millions of people who died during World War Two". Camera surveillance and museum officials were meant to stop inappropriate behaviour. Institutions such as the foundation for Germany's central Holocaust memorial site condemned the idea of the exhibit as tasteless, saying it had been included to generate business...so why did this seem like a good idea to the museum? When I went to the Wax Museum in Barcelona, they had a whole array of Socialist dictators on display...but they're still a Socialist nation. It just seems...obviously they saw it coming, hence the security around the figure. It's like opening one of those wax museums in Detroit and having a Klan leader figure next to Osama Bin Ladin. Somebody's going to get shot...and that's probably before the museum opens. Anyway, it's just weird, I guess.

Well, that'll do it for me today. Have a groovy day...and I'll probably see ya tomorrow. Happy Anniversary to the Wingmans once again!!! "Brown chicka brown brown, brown chicky chicky brown..."

How to Stop Global Warming?

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, I took some walks, ran some errands, basically getting psyched about the possible move to Vegas soon (kind of expecting them to say "Can you start on Monday?" when they do call) but other than that, nothing much going on with me this morning. My back's still a little sore...but it's a little better. Luckily, I have magic hands so I just have to self administer a rub-down...as self-gratifying as that sounds.


I would also like to take this time to adjust my Sylvester Stallone Movie List with a new Flush It, having caught the last fifteen minutes of "Rhinestone" on TV. The story is that an aging country singer (Dolly Parton) tries to teach her new protege to be the next big thing in country music...and it's a New York taxi driver (Sylvester Stallone). Now, that's all I know about the story...and the ending is...well, it's Stallone singing...country music. Sure, Dolly Parton's a little easy on the eyes...but it doesn't make up for the full Rambo-esque assault on the ears from the Italian Stallion. Sorry Sly, but there's a reason you make movies & not going on tour opening for Ashlee Simpson.


Now, I'm watching one of my favorite satire movies "EdTV" starring Matthew McConaughey, Woody Harrelson, Ellen DeGeneres, Jenna Elfman, Martin Landau, Dennis Hopper, Liz Hurley, and directed by Ron Howard. It's about a reality show that basically shows the life of video store clerk named ED (McConaughey) on TV 24 hours a day...becoming an overnight sensation. Now with his newfound celebrity, he's trying to get with Dharma...er, Jenna Elfman but the paparazzi interfere. I consider this movie great research for my future celebrity status...and how to handle it gracefully. It's actually a really good, funny movie but didn't get a whole lot of publicity & respect for whatever reason. I guess everything on TV hadn't become a reality show quite yet when it came out in 1999. Check it out if you haven't. Good times. Now for the news...


Life Going Down the Shitter? - Sometimes, we all feel a little depressed...and feel like the world is just so much to bear...but please remember, it could always get worse. For example, rescue crews had to cut apart a portable toilet to rescue a man who got stuck naked inside the potty. Authorities say the 31-year-old man used his cell phone to call 911 on Sunday from inside a portable toilet. Police say the man had been drinking and had taken off his clothes. Somehow, he immersed himself in the holding tank. (The imagination wanders...) The man was charged with public drunkenness and creating a health code violation. Which brings up the moral question...if you were to walk into a port-a-potty and there was a man stuck in there...would you help him out? Certainly you may call for somebody to come help them...but would you reach down in there & help the guy out? Or would you just pretend that you couldn't hear him and do your business? Now, before you answer...it's the only port-a-potty in sight...and you've been holding it in for like an hour before you finally found this one. Now what do you do?


How Much to Battle Global Warming? - A report by the Paris-based International Energy Agency envisions a "energy revolution" that would greatly reduce the world's dependence on fossil fuels while maintaining steady economic growth. The report says that in order for the world to HALVE greenhouse gas emissions by the year 2050 (closer than you think), the world would need to invest $45 TRILLION in energy...or just over a trillion dollars per year. A U.N.-network of scientists concluded last year that emissions have to be cut by at least half by 2050 to avoid an increase in world temperatures of between 3.6 and 4.2 degrees above pre-18th century levels. Scientists say temperature increases beyond that could trigger devastating effects, such as widespread loss of species, famines and droughts, and swamping of heavily populated coastal areas by rising oceans. You all know this...and I think that we should start on it...but yeah, I don't have $45 trillion. How much is $45 trillion? Well, about $100,000 per American man, woman, or child...but over the course of 40 years...so about $2500 per year per American. Bring in other countries (like ones with money not invested in war) and that number drops significantly. However, I think that I know the real reason for Global Warming...


One Step with Laundry - Xeros, which has been spun out of the University of Leeds, said on Monday that new washing machines would use less than 2 percent of the water and energy of a conventional washing machine. Plastic chips are used to remove dirt and stains from clothes, leaving them dry and reducing energy consumption as there is no need to use a dryer after the washing cycle. The firm, which recently secured investment of almost 500,000 pounds from IP Group, told Reuters the price of the new machines was "not expected to be dramatically different from (conventional) washing machines." Washing machine usage has risen by 23 percent in the past 15 years. The average household uses almost 21 liters of water daily on clothes washing or roughly 13% of daily household water consumption. A typical washing machine uses about 35 kilograms of water for every kilogram of clothes, in addition to the power needed to heat the water and dry the clothes. Not a bad start...but I like my idea of just being naked all the time...and at least one other person agrees with me...


Fox in Heat - As any reader of this blog may know, Megan Fox is really really hot...and named the Sexiest Woman in the World by FHM magazine last month (and predicted to be a big star by me when I watched Transformers last year). Is she and other ladies out there like her the reason for Global Warming? Well, now, she just got hotter. In an interview with FHM, she was quoted as saying, "I really enjoy having sex, and that's offensive to some people. Women are the quickest to call other women sluts, which I think is sad. I haven't met a lot of men who have said, 'You like having sex? What a dirty whore you are.' I'm young and have a lot of hormones—I'm always in the mood! But I like sex with one person when I'm in a relationship. Sex with random people who I've met at clubs is not really my thing. I have the libido of a 15-year-old boy. My sex drive is so high. I'd rather have sex with Brian (boyfriend Brian Austin Green) all the time than leave the house. He doesn't mind." Yes, that Brian Austin Green from Beverly Hills 90210. He's 35 (and shares my brother's birthday oddly enough) and she's 22. Well, at least we share similar views on sex...which is really hot...and I'm sure that 90% of you are thinking the same thing. Brian Austin Green is one lucky mother lover to have a Fox like that.


Anyway, enough about saving the environment and the gigantic costs ($45 trillion...perhaps, but an unsatisfied woman...simply too much), I think I'll see what my dad's up to & hang out with him during his last week off before going back to work. I'm sure that I've mentioned it...but he's basically fully recovered and doing fix-its and errands around the house. He's a great guy...and I hope to be like him someday. Fix stuff around the house for his family, always there if you need somebody to talk to, great sense of humor & perspective on life, loving husband & father, sounds like the sweetest gig that you'll never get paid for...except for a silly tie once a year. That's right, this is a plug for Father's Day this Sunday. Don't forget. I have no idea what I'm going to give him...but I did take him to Vegas a few weeks ago. We'll see what else he gets. Suggestion for the day - Call your dad / stepdad / husband / male role model up a little early...and tell them how much you love them. They'll greatly appreciate it. Trust me. There's nothing a guy likes to hear more...well, not much anyway. Have a great day everybody!!!

Like Peas & Carrots

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, after blogging yesterday, I did decide to go hang out with my dad after watching a few episodes of the USA series "Burn Notice" with Jeffery Donovan, Bruce Campbell, and the eye candy Gabrielle Anwar. Nice show...about secret agents mostly...but yeah, lots of fun and coolness. I enjoy it. My dad's been keeping himself busy by building bookshelves for my stepmom, trimming hedges, fixing stuff around the house, and all that other stuff that just kind of pops up...but he's getting around great now. He's not even using a cane...but catches himself trying to jump up the stairs once in a while...and then immediately regrets it with the shooting pain up his leg. I'm glad that he's almost back to his old self (emphasis on old, bwahahahaaha). I think he starts going to work again in two weeks.

While there, I helped him with a few things (though he was mostly done by the time I got there) then we watched this movie that I had never heard of before...but was one of his & Grandpa Love's favorites called "Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins..." that was On-Demand. Like I said, I had never heard of it, but it's about a NYPD officer (the great Fred Ward) who is thought to be dead...but is rather recruited by a secret agency (his boss is Wilfred Brimley) to be the "justice behind the scenes" and assassinate those evil people who make it through the justice system unscathed. He is taught martial arts by a Korean master (much like Grandpa Love was) and sets out to right wrongs. Honestly, it's a great show with mild action and a lot of smartass remarks from everybody...so it's worth a glance...especially if you have Comcast On-Demand. For example, the name Remo Williams...was found on the bottom of a bedpan. Oh...and Kate Mulgrew (Cpt. Janeway on "Star Trek Voyager") stars in it too.

We also watched one of my favorite movies of all time, "Forrest Gump" with Tom Hanks, Gary Sinise, & Robin Wright-Penn. I'm sure that you've all seen this movie many, many times...and if not, what the heck? You should. It's the heartwarming tale of a lovable simple man named Forrest Gump (Hanks) who just goes through life the best way that he figures...and just being a decent guy full of love & luck touches the lives of so many others...including the love of his life, Jenny Curran (Penn). It's funny, inspirational, dramatic, beautiful, touching, and all the things that you look for in a good movie. Maybe it's just me...but it seems like everybody connects with Forrest in some way or another. Whether it's overcoming physical (or mental) obstacles, loving a woman of questionable reputation, luckily investing in fruit companies at the right time, starting our own business, or saving somebody's life...even if not in battle but just by being there for them. It's just a great movie that enjoy watching over & over again...and am usually satisfied because it's on TNT all the time. I'll have to do a Tom Hanks Movie List if I haven't already. I'll look into that. He's been in a lot of good ones.

We also ate some delicious Colosimo Red Wine Bratwursts...and then he asked me if I wanted his grill. I was confused. Apparently, Father's Day is two weeks from today...and he hinted that he wanted a new stainless steel grill with digital what-nots and saucepan heaters and all that stuff. So he offered to give me his grill when he gets that. Cool. I currently just use a Hamilton Beach knock-off George Foreman grill to cook for me...because I usually don't host huge barbecues...but that may change when I go down to Vegas, so we'll see.

JL Clyde invited me to a party hosted by her friend JoJo so I went to that...because it meant some drinks & some good times. It didn't disappoint. There was good music, good drinks, good conversation, and what may be one of my new favorite game shows coming to Fox called "What Am I On?" that we played with some of the colorful characters we met coming off Trax, the city's public transit system. The object of the game...is to guess what substance they are currently abusing...and it's a fun little game...and usually pretty easy too. Best part was...I wasn't the only person playing it before I mentioned it. Some other topics of discussion include...

"I think that Rihanna is a robot. I mean...she doesn't have anything on her body that can be constituted as a flaw...in every song of hers, she repeats some lyric like she's a record skipping at times...like Umbrella-ella-ella-ella-ella-ella. Have any of you seen the movie Simone (I think officially "S1m0ne" with Al Pacino)? It's just like that. She has to be a robot...or at the very least some kind of hologram."

Person #1: "Will you go mix me a drink?"
Person #2: "No."
P1: "I'll give you a blow job."
P2: "You will anyway."
P1: "Damn it, you're right."
$teve: "Sounds like you really need to cut back on the supply so it's actually worth something."
P1: "You know, you're right. I wonder how long BJs have been a form of currency..."
$teve: "Well, selling sex is the world's oldest profession...so I'm assuming that BJs are probably one of the oldest forms of currency...or rather bartering, I guess."
P1: "You're probably right."
$teve (in one of his usual random dialogues set in 10,000 BC): "Hey Gorak, can I have some of that Sabre-Toothed Tiger? Uga, what's in it for me? I give you blow job. Hmm, agreed...but I don't care if this is Sabre-Toothed Tiger, no teeth. Pretend I give you Duck, no teeth, just the bill."

Anyway, good times...then I went home and slept like a baby. Didn't really do much this morning except watch TV, do some dishes, talk to my mom, and then I got a text from Bubbles. She's been a little under the weather the past few days and has spent all weekend in bed...and not the good way unfortunately. So I tried to comfort her a little bit and focus on her trip next weekend to San Diego to see some of her family...and the ocean for the first time. I suggested that she check out my posts about San Diego a.k.a. Heaven (here's one, another, another, and the last one) to get her excited about it. I fully plan on making weekend trips down there every few months (making it my new Vegas?) when I move down to Vegas...because I like the ocean. It's soothing...as long as your not roasting in the sun. Good times...just a phone call away...hint hint.

Now I'm at work and have decided that if I haven't heard from Vegas by tomorrow, I'll give them a call and see what's up. I'm sure they're busy and all...but I just gotta know one way or the other what's going on. I hate waiting until it's a last minute kind of thing...and maybe they'll appreciate saving the long distance charges. Have a great day everybody...and I'll see ya tomorrow.

Vegas - Home of Lady Luck

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

As proclaimed yesterday, I have returned from Vegas. It was a lot of fun and a great trip despite the triple digit, record-breaking weather during the day...but those kind of days lead to hot nights. Okay, don't get your hopes up just for me yet. I went with my dad...and he doesn't know how to keep a secret, so we didn't get too wild. Anyway, without further ado, here we go with my latest journey to Vegas.

Day 1

That night was like Christmas morning. I slept for a few hours...and then starting around 3:30 AM, I couldn't go back to sleep, so after about 30 minutes of fighting it, I just got up and double-triple checked everything for the trip. I met up with my dad at his house so that my stepmom could give us a ride to the airport. He was apparently excited to go too. My dad is a lot like me...so if you know me, you know him...with a few differences and about 25 years extra experience. Differences such as...

1) My father really has no inner monologue - It may be part of the unfreezing process or something...but if he thinks something, he'll say it. My brother inherited this trait...but I'm usually able to control myself (though my blog entries tend to ramble like I don't).
2) He says everything like a question...but wants a response - He tends to end just about every statement with a "Right?" or an "Eh?" or something like that...probably to seek confirmation in his beliefs...but it causes a problem with the next one.
3) He also has no volume control - Due to a life of many, many rock & roll concerts, cranked up headphones, and even massive amounts of swimming in the latest years, his ears and perception of volume are severely lacking. This can often create a problem due to the lack of inner monologue...and combined with his being hard of hearing...and still wanting confirmation on basically everything, here's an example of a pretty standard statement.

Dad: "(Grunt that indicates sexual arousal) Look at that girl there. Nice, eh?"
$teve (already checking with peripherals): "Yeah, nice."
Dad: "Right?"
$teve: "Yup."
Dad: "WHAT?"
$teve: "YES. Nice."
Dad: "Um, me likey. (Purposely creepy laugh & shoulder nudges)"

He's a great guy and all...but yeah, I don't like to repeat myself five or six times...especially when it's something like "Yup" and apparently a nod or thumbs up doesn't work for him either (bifocals?) so yeah, it gets old really quick. Love the guy though, so I try to make him happy...and not have him embarrass me at the same time. I did pretty well on this trip. We had a good time.

We arrived at the airport pretty early in the morning, so we picked up the rental car, stopped by a gas station to load up on drinks, ice & a cooler, then drove down the Strip. My dad hadn't seen it in about twenty years, so I tried to catch him up on everything while driving...which is kind of hard with questions like "What's that?" when he's not pointing at anything or giving me a vague description...but I did pretty well. We then pulled into the Planet Hollywood Casino & Hotel's parking lot (central location) and walked around a bit. We had lunch at the Harley-Davidson Cafe and their Pulled Pork Sandwiches are pretty good. We also had a superhot blonde Midwestern biker chick from Chicago as our waitress, so that was nice. Very nice. Here are some pictures of the Cafe...

Here was our rental car

Okay, so it was really a Saturn Aura...

but we briefly considered it.

My dad's dream bike

Harley-Davidson Dyna Wide Glide

After lunch, we decided to head to our hotel for the next few nights, the Ritz-Carlton Lake Las Vegas in beautiful Henderson, Nevada. We checked into our rooms and I gave my dad a little tour of the property so that he could get around in my absence...because I was meeting up with Bubbles when she got off work so that I could meet her roommates. Here are some pictures of the hotel...from this trip...but I have many more on my other Vegas trip posts.

The view from our room

Bubbles hooked us up

Bubbles and I met up and she drove me to her place. You may remember that the chief purpose of my last trip was to help her find a place...so I was curious where she ended up. We first stopped at a bar called Timbers to have a cool frosty alcoholic beverage in an air-conditioned local before heading to her place. The bar was nice. Pool tables, good drinks, good service. I recommend it. Her house was nice too. Her roommates seemed like good people, especially the house's owner who's a great mother figure for the rest of them. The 6-year old seemed to be scared of me...but I think she was just pretending. She's a cutie though. After changing out of her work attire, we headed back to the Ritz to meet up with my dad for dinner at the Sonrisa Grill in Montelago Village.

Dinner was great with Bubbles and my Dad. We had a good time with some great food, great tunes, and a few drinks (except my dad, because he's been sober for six years now). After dinner, Bubbles seemed to have had a few many, so I drove her home for the evening and made sure that she got to bed safely. Since it was already late & she needed her car for a dentist appointment early morning, I decided to just stay the night at her house and slept on the floor. I know. "Why would you give up a night's sleep in the legendary Ritz-Carlton beds that you've gone on & on about for years...to sleep on your friend's floor?" Because she got home safe and sound...and Karma comes back around. I hope that you're all lucky enough to have at least one friend like me, there when you need them. Didn't sleep too well...but would have slept much worse worrying about her getting home safe...so it's all good.

Day 2

We woke up with queasy stomachs (alcohol + lack of sleep?) and headed to her dentist appointment, then she dropped me off at the Ritz-Carlton before heading to work. Then I showered up real quick, experience the Club Lounge at the Ritz-Carlton (well worth the extra Benjamin for food & drinks all day if you're there at the hotel) and then we decided to head out to see the area around the hotel, including beautiful Lake Mead and the engineering marvel that is Hoover Dam.

Here are some pictures of Lake Mead. Cool thing was that when we pulled up, we saw four big eagles flying overhead...but I wasn't able to get a good picture of them. it was still an amazing sight though. I'd recommend it if you're in the area...but it was hot this day.

See the Eagle? Didn't think so...

My dad & I are both engineering geeks (he has a degree & I almost did before changing majors after three years), so Hoover Dam is really cool to us. We walked around, took pictures, and talked about how we'd like to come back to see the Bridge when it's finished. Funny thing is that I've seen Hoover Dam four times before...but this was my dad's first time. He mentioned (several times due to previous differences) that the first time he saw the Hoover Dam was on "Transformers" last summer.

Proof my dad is also a nerd

Dam Visitor Center

The bridge is going to be wicked awesome

When you're a man, the world is your urinal...

Behold the world's largest urinal

On our way back from the Dam, I was getting a call from the hotel. Remembering the last time I answered that number inappropriately for my 1st interview, I simply answered hello this time. It was, in fact, the HR manager for my hopeful future employer asking me if I'd like to do a 2nd Interview since I was in town. "Sure, I can meet you there in...30-45 minutes if that's cool." "Well, I may not be here that late..." "Well, I can be there in 10-15 minutes if you don't mind me being in shorts & a T-shirt. My dad & I have just been out near Hoover Dam all day." "Ugh...yeah, that'd be great. I'll meet you in the lobby in fifteen minutes then."

The interview went very well, I think. We seemed to have a good conversation going...and of course I made her smile a few times, so that's usually a plus. Her former position was the position that I was applying for...and she mentioned this after I explained my reasons for pursuing that position...and she seemed to like my responses. Anyway, I'm not an HR professional, so we'll see in the next few weeks if they want me as an employee. (However, I just got my annual review last night...and I don't mean to brag...but it was the highest rating possible...so I've got that going for me when/if they call my current employers) I'm very excited about the possibility of moving to Vegas...and combined with the queasiness in the stomach and lack of food for some time, I went to get something to eat. First, I had to tell Bubbles how it went...and she seemed stuck on "You wore THAT to your interview?" even after explaining the context...but she was excited for me too. We had a celebratory drink at the Irish pub, Auld Dubliner in the village before we parted ways (she was feeling sicker than I was).

My dad & I ate at the Club Lounge again (because it was included) and shortly after arriving there, Bubbles called to tell me that all of her roommates had this mystery stomach illness thing, so it wasn't our drinking (because I didn't drink that much...but I am a lightweight). So we decided to just make this night a rest & relaxation evening so that we could be fully rested & healthy for the other nights. My dad & I just watched basketball and I slept for about ten solid hours, twelve total...and didn't feel the least bit bad about it. Remember, I hadn't slept really comfortably in a few days...and the heat of Vegas saps my strength so. If I move out there, I'll definitely have to figure out that.

Day 3

Dad & I woke up to the Club Lounge breakfast again, then headed for the Strip to see more of it. Along the way, we talked a lot about me moving to Vegas and he of course gave me fatherly advice along the way...and I reassured him with my theories and told him that I had thoroughly thought it through long before even applying for the job. I was really excited...almost giddy on the drive down (I had slept well) but yeah, on the drive back from being on the Strip in hundred degree weather for 4-5 hours, I was very quiet on the way back.

We walked through the mid-section of the Strip including the Venetian, Palazzo, Wynn, Treasure Island, and ended up at the Mirage about the time we ran out of sweat (even drinking water consistently) so we stopped into the California Pizza Kitchen, shared a BBQ chicken pizza, drank lots of water, and placed a few bets. I put $20 on the Spurs to win the championship at 10:1 odds. Step one was beating the Hornets last night...and they did. He placed bets for the KC Chiefs (80:1) and Denver Broncos (25:1) to win the Super Bowl...so basically gave Vegas money. After that, we headed back for the hotel to rest until the sun went down.

Surprisingly, I look more tired than Nicolas Cage does

Then again, I was pretending.

As soon as I arrived back at the hotel, I got a text from Bubbles to meet her at the Auld Dubliner. Slowly but surely over the next hour, it went from the two of us to about six coworkers (all female) having a few drinks after work. Then four of us went over to the Sonrisa Grill to share some appetizers and have a few more drinks. Those ladies are a lot of fun. Free of inhibitions after half a margarita (or Mesori Sour...or something like that) and we were having a wonderful R-rated conversation about whatever. Good times with the ladies. They occasionally would say something ragging on men and then look at me and go "Sorry, nothing personal." "Oh...I know. It's true. No worries." We had a GREAT time and I met a few of my (hopefully) future coworkers.

After that, I went back to the room to relax a bit (finally), watched a little basketball (including the nailbiter finish of Lakers/Jazz Game 6) and then met up with Bubbles, her boss, and her boss' husband at Timbers later that night for dinner. They were all great people...and again, we had a great time. We didn't have much to drink...but because I didn't want my dad to get sick or anything from me, I drove Bubbles home and stayed there another night. I'm too damn nice. Oh well, that's why I keep my bed like a Ritz-Carlton bed at home...so I can miss it for a few nights...but always return to it.

Day 4

The next morning, we checked out of the Ritz-Carlton after breakfast and made our way to our last hotel, the Marriott Suites. It wasn't quite the same luxury level as the other hotel, but still very nice...and all of the rooms are spacious suites...and it's within hundred degree walking distance of the Riviera hotel...more on that a little later. We checked in and rested a bit before driving down to the Hard Rock Cafe Hotel & Casino for some lunch and souvenirs for the kiddies back home. I had a Hurricane & a Creole Sandwich (apparently a New Orleans theme to that meal) and both were delicious. Here are some pictures of the Cafe.

As you walk in, you know they mean business...

Jimi portrait, his cloak, and a burnt guitar

All Is One

Entertainment for the evening was to see the world famous Crazy Girls burlesque show at the Riviera. I had seen this show about five years ago when I was a wee lad and there were fond memories of it, so Bubbles, my dad, & I got some Preferred tickets and enjoyed the show after a little gambling to get us in the mood. The show's a great mix of comedy, sex, magic, sex, boobs, music, and sex...and was well worth the price of admission in my opinion. Oh...and by the way, Bubbles was absolutely stunning in her outfit. She didn't want her picture taken...but this is about the closest to the magnitude of hotness that I could find...and it still doesn't do justice...

After the show, we decided to show my dad the Fremont Street Experience (which apparently had a different meaning last time my dad was here thirty years ago) and it's one of my & Bubbles' favorite spots to party. However, about a million other people had the same idea because the place was packed tight with rednecks due to a huge Sugarland concert right in the middle of Fremont Street. We got out of there quickly because it was too drunken crazy...and some of us under six feet tall were claustrophobic. We drove back towards the Strip...but honestly, we were all sapped...and I wanted to leave something for my dad to take my stepmom to when they come down...like the Fountains at Bellagio and the sort...so we just called it a night out of sheer laziness.

We got back to the room and to wind down, we flipped through the channels and found...Snakes on a Plane. Not sure if I mentioned this before...but though I gave this movie the Flush It on my Sam Jackson movie list, I had never seen it. Based on premise alone, I gave it a Flush It...so I thought that I'd give it a chance...and it remains my Flush It. The story is...ridiculous. There was a nice nudity shot of an incredibly hot blonde about to renew her membership into the Mile High Club...but then they threw in the snakes...and it just got stupider, until I figured it was a sign to go to bed.

Day 5

I woke up around 9 AM fully refreshed and stumbled upon "The Truman Show" while I waited for the several hour process of my dad to get ready. I really like this show...and for those of you who don't know, it's about a man named Truman (Jim Carrey) who stars in his own reality show constantly 24 hours a day...and he has since birth...and has never known it. Seriously, you should check it out. It's Jim Carrey craziness mixed in with a deep meaning of life, entertainment, love, the unknown, the controlled, and a bunch of other things. As I watched it, I found myself kind of wondering...what if I were in that situation? All I had known and believed was just some clever scheme to keep me from experiencing the world...and get good ratings & ad revenue. Sometimes I think like that...like, if I were watching my life happening on TV, what would I be yelling at the screen as an observer?

For example, let's say I'm trying to pick up a girl at a bar...and I use one of my clever lines to sneak a seat next to her and get a smile out of her. would I think I were smooth? "Nice line, jackass. Hopefully she's a teacher and thinks your awkwardness is cute...like one of her six-year olds is hitting on her." Anyway, that frame of mind got me thinking...from on observer's perspective, am I really using my time on this planet wisely? Could I be doing more? If so, what? Is Vegas really the place for me to go? Am I just making a brash life-changing decision just to make a brash life-changing decision? Or is it really what I want to do? It's kind of like being my own critic / parent...but the more that I think about it, the more that I think this is the way it's supposed to be. Everything happens for a reason...and everything seems to be pushing me towards Vegas...if not just for a few years while I'm still unattached and can enjoy the carefree lifestyle and live life to the fullest...in a setting basically the exact opposite of where I was raised (Utah). Anyway, Truman Show's a great flick. Check it out. It's more entertaining than one of my rants.

After checking out, my dad & I met up with Bubbles for an $11.99 Champagne Brunch at Fiesta Henderson Casino. It was delicious. They had American, Italian, Chinese, Mongolian, Soul Food, Seafood (including buckets of Crab Legs), Baked Goods, Desserts all around, and anything your heart desires really. We had good fun...and I even had a Fortune Cookie that read something like "Tomorrow you will be full of great ideas" and nothing really happened yesterday that was incredibly creative...but whatever. We had a good time playing with our food and enjoying the sweet sweet meat of crab...and washing it down with chocolate cake & mimosas. Afterwards, we gambled a bit because Bubbles & I always have fun playing the slots (Wheel of Fortune if we can) and she knew that I didn't want to spend too much time alone with my dad (talking in those above conversations for five days now) and we had a great time and eventually hugged goodbye. Thanks for everything, Bubbles. It was great to see you again.

Dad wanted to go to the In & Out Burger to get some souvenirs for people back home (since we had just eaten a buffet, so no burger & animal style fries) then we hung out at the Orleans Casino for a while just to escape the heat reaching up to 110 degrees now. I played some Roulette and basically ended up losing six bucks...but got two glasses of ice cold water in exchange. I felt like I had broken even.

Long story short, after that, we filled up the rental car's gas tank, gave it back, got on the flight and went home. Along the way, my dad got a little obnoxious and we got in one of our conversations about the small airplane that we were taking back (since it was an hour flight).

Dad: "Is THAT our plane? It looks small, doesn't it?"
$teve: "It's a regional flight."
Dad: "Right?"
$teve: "Yeah, it's a smaller plane."
Dad: "WHAT?"
$teve: "Yes. (F**k)"
Dad: "I mean...THAT'S a plane (pointing at a 757) but THIS is a baby, right?"
$teve: "They're perfectly safe. Don't be scared, dad."
Dad: "What?"
$teve: "Don't worry dad. You'll be safe."
Dad: "Oh, I know...but still...it's just a little plane."
$teve: "And we've got front row seats with extra leg room. I'll take the window."
Dad: "What? (Grunt) LOOK AT THAT GIRL!!! (Sitting two seats away at the airport, so she obviously heard my dad and chose to ignore) That's a hot girl, right?"
$teve: "Yup, she's certainly a beautiful woman."
Dad: "WHAT?"
$teve: "Yup. Hey look at mountains (like he's a kid)."
Dad: "You should go talk to her."
$teve: "I'm sure that she can hear us just fine, dad. (She laughed a little)"
Dad: "What?"
$teve (do you see how frustrating this week was?): "(Silence)"
Dad: "I would have at your age."
$teve: "I know...and you had a wife and two kids at my age, dad. Let it go, alright?"
Dad: "What?"
$teve: "(F**k me!!!) I'll be back. I'm going to the bathroom."
Dad: "Okay!!! Hope it all goes well." (He heard the bathroom thing the first time, that's why I remember it...because it was so odd)
$teve: "It always does."

By the time I got back from the bathroom, the lovely woman was gone...so I assume she got a little fed up or something too. Like I said, I love my dad...but he gets irritating after a while...and he doesn't mean to, he just does. Oh...and during the flight, he had his Walkman (yes, original Walkman) on and was singing along to "Dark Side of the Moon" while I was trying to nod off because my head was basically at an angle on the wall anyway because of the small plane window seat...and he was pretty loud and nudged me pretty sturdily every few seconds wanting me to join in singing. Wasn't really in that kind of a mood, so I passed. Anyway, we stopped by Taco Bell telling my stepmom all about the tripe, made it home, thanked each other for the great trip...and I went home ready to sleep like a log...or so I thought.

I got back home around 11 PM and my apartment was HOT!!! I had just come from 110 degree Vegas...and my apartment was making me sweat more...so I tried to find out why. My heater was turned down...but apparently it was just a hot day here in Utah and I had all my windows closed with no fan or anything on (it was in the fifties when I left). After about an hour of checking the oven, opening windows, turning on fans, and whatever else I could do to cool the house down, I got a call from Bubbles. "How much do you love me?" "Is this a trick question?" "(Laugh) You know that you're my best friend in the whole wide world, right?" "(Sigh) Of course I do...but I'd like to hear you say it again before you tell me what you need me to do." "Well, you are my bestest friend in the whole wide world...and I was wondering if you could do me a huge favor...and let my mom crash at your house for the night."

Apparently, her mom & her mom's boyfriend had a fight, so her mom was standing out in the cold (still 80 degrees) and needed a place to stay the night before her other daughter could come pick her up. "She's not drunk or high or anything, is she?" "No, but you're the only person that can help me out...and I know that it's a lot to ask...but would ya?" "(Sigh) You know that I will. Wait, where is she?" "Not exactly sure...but I'll find out and call you back." She was about a mile away...so that was great. I picked her up (and all of her stuff, that filled up my car pretty good), took her to my place, gave her a cranberry juice & vodka nightcap, let her use the shower, made her laugh a little, and she had full couch, bar, & fridge privileges. They were ever so grateful...and I spent the next morning hanging with her, watching "Home Improvement" and stuff until her other daughter came and picked her up. It was the least that I could do for a good friend like Bubbles...and I hope that her mom gets her life back on track as soon as possible. She's a sweetie...and I think she likes me too...but she just doesn't seem to have the willpower...but hopefully that'll change quickly. She's too nice of a person to be miserable. Pray for her, would y'all? I'd consider it a personal favor if you did.

Anyway, that was my latest Vegas adventure. Sorry if it was a little long-winded and philosophical for ya instead of drunken & debaucherous...but it was what it was. What happens in Vegas, usually stays there...so be darn happy that I gave ya this much. I'll keep you posted on the job and what becomes of it...and I hope that you all had a wonderful time while I was gone. Also, if I don't see ya before you go, have a happy & safe Memorial Day Weekend!!! Have a great night everybody!!!