Thursday, April 17, 2008

$teve & the Real Girl

Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen,

Today was pretty mellow. Jogged a little, worked out a little, heard the Spurs whooped on the Jazz last night, talked to a fellow Spurs fan (my Boss Lady's former Boss Lady) about her future plans, watched a movie, and then came to work. Today is the last official day for the center…but due to scheduling and delays and what-have-you, we're still going to be working in the building for at least a few more weeks…but some people are leaving for good…and that sucks. It's all good though today…because I get to train loyal blog reader Lilie for a few hours. Yay! It's been a bothersome past few months with everybody moving away and migrating to greener pastures…but it's probably all for the best…and kind of a sign for me that I need to get off my ass and do something with my life. I've got so much going for me. What am I afraid of? Success? Hell nah. Making a mistake? Yeah, that's probably it…but you know what, I'm young. I'm allowed to make mistakes…lots of them…and I have them all saved up from my childhood…so it's time to start taking a risk. The wheels have been set in motion for Vegas…and now I'm just waiting for them to realize this golden opportunity presented to them, by hiring me…and showing me the money…and I'll show them what I do…which is basically show up, do my job, help others with theirs, make their day better, laugh a LOT, teach others to fish (metaphorically), and then go home with a smile on my face…usually. Your move, Vegas.


Anyway, the movie that I watched today was "Lars & the Real Girl" starring Ryan Gosling. I briefly mentioned it a few months ago just before it come out on limited release. It's about a very reclusive, quiet, fidgety 27-year old man named Lars (Gosling) who casually strolls from being anxious regarding personal interaction to complete delusion when he orders a half-Brazilian, half-Danish sex doll named Bianca and treats her as his girlfriend. His brother & sister-in-law play along with it (because the psychiatrist suggests it) and before you know it, the whole town is doing it because they want to help this nice guy. I couldn't really decide if this was a drama about delusion and coping with loss with a twist concerning Bianca...or a comedy because it wasn't that funny but it had it's moments…but that's probably why it was a limited release independent film…and it was really well done…and actually surprisingly touching for a story revolving around a sex doll. I would definitely recommend it.


Fellow Steve Retires from Football - Pro Bowl quarterback Steve "Air" McNair announced his retirement from the NFL after thirteen seasons. He has three years remaining on his contract…but due to a career full of injuries, he has decided to enjoy the health that he still has and spend time with his family…and you have to respect that. He may be a Hall of Famer one day…because he is one of three quarterbacks to have over 30,000 passing yards & 3500 rushing yards and the other two are Fran Tarkenton and another Steve, Young. Then again, he has no Super Bowl rings, so who knows? Anyway, thanks for the entertainment and athletic prowess over the years…and I wish you all the best, Mr. McNair. Sunrise, sunset.


Brother Love Goes Pro - My brother from another mother, Kevin Love of UCLA has announced that he will declare for the NBA Draft…and will probably be a top three pick. He's a big guy…and you can't teach height, great passer, jump shooter, defender, and has a great work ethic to match his natural skills. Besides, he can do this type of stuff. The 6-foot-10 center Love said he did not immediately plan to hire an agent, which would temporarily allow to keep playing for UCLA. "I want to maintain my eligibility in case something happens," Love said. He later added that it's "definitely a possibility" that something could prompt him to change his mind. What you ask? My only guess would be millions of dollars in cash from local boosters…or true Love. I'll keep you posted…but I expect him to be playing in the NBA next year. Congratulations on your decision brother Love. See ya at the reunion.


Make 'Em Say Uuuuug - Scientists at Florida Atlantic University have modeled a Neanderthal's larynx to replicate possible sounds it would make. The work is based on fossils found in France, the British journal New Scientist said on Wednesday on its website. The item includes an audio snippet in which a computer synthesizer replicates how a Neanderthal would say an "e" and compares this with the same sound as made by modern humans. A study published last October in the journal Current Biology found that Neanderthals carried the only human gene that has so far been linked to language. This implies Neanderthals had at least some of the genetic prerequisites for acquiring language. Even so, experts question whether Neanderthals had the necessary biological gear, such as fine nerves connected to tongue muscles and lips, that would enable them do more than just grunt. However, as rappers have proven, it seems grunting is sometimes all you really need to get your point across. Isn't that right, Master P? "Uuuuugh, uuuugh. Nana nana. Nana nana." Sure, Neanderthals may have not had spoken language…yet somehow they managed…and I'm guessing it had something to do with the large clubs that they carried around and some form of body language, fierce hooting, and possibly projectile feces…much like apes of today…or drunken frat parties.


The point is…who really cares? If a tree falls in a forest and there's nobody around, sure it makes a sound…but it's just as important to mankind as a caveman saying "Schpedoinkal" or "Giggidy" some 50,000 years ago. They could have constructed Time Machines back then made of mammoth pelts, flint, and pine cones…but until we find it preserved in a tar pit, it's not really effecting us…or is it? Okay, it's really not. It just goes to show that some 50,000 years from now…when people (or the next evolved animals) are digging us up…what will they find? What will they think of us? "Oh, these primitive ancestors used wads of flattened wood pulp to simply wipe their backsides. They didn't even use the three seashells. Myahahahahaha." My point - We all have a legacy…and it's how we make others feel around us…and raise our future generations to be...so please be kind to one another and show your kin how to live by example. My point doesn't really make a whole lot of sense with the Neanderthal thing…but still, it's like my buddy Master P says, there's more to life than bitches, weed, and Mercedes.


Don't Be This Chick - A tow truck driver unknowingly hauled away a car with a 7-year-old asleep inside before returning the vehicle minutes later and speeding away. The panicked parents of the missing boy watched the driver hurriedly unhook their car and take off as they met with authorities late Monday. Twenty-three year old Fidel Retana Jr. was pulled over a short time later and arrested on child endangerment charges but police expect to drop the charges. "It appeared that he did not intend to take the child," Dallas police Sgt. Brenda Nichols said. David Traylor, Retana's attorney, said his client noticed the boy only when he stopped to ensure that the car was hooked up properly. The car had been parked in a fire lane while the boy's mother ran upstairs to her apartment. Traylor said Retana left the second time in a hurry because he knew the parents were there and were probably angry. Authorities said the boy's mother was crying and vomiting outside when they arrived. The boy was still asleep when the car was returned.


Now, I've fallen asleep in the back of a car as a child a few times…and my mother will gladly share this story with you any time you hang out with us. Apparently, one time I was wandering around outside, hopped in the car, and fell asleep in the trunk area of a hatchback. She was obviously worried something fierce…and drove for hours trying to find me…and called family & neighbors…and I was asleep in the back of the car. She was at wit's end until I woke up, went inside the house when she was crying on the phone with my grandma or something, and I asked what was wrong. This however, is not really one of those stories. Why? The mother parked in the fire lane and "ran upstairs to her apartment" but it takes a while for a few things to happen…like somebody call a tow truck, they show up, hook up the car, and drive off. Even if there's a two truck on the premises and waiting…it probably takes a good ten to fifteen minutes depending on a few variables. Then, after the fiasco, she's "crying and vomiting" when he came back with the car. Now, I've been worried bad before…and unless she has some SERIOUS acid reflux, there's some other factors playing into that. Regardless of all that, here's my verdict - Charges obviously dropped on the tow truck guy…because of he's being charged with kidnapping, she's being charged with child abandonment. She's also going to pay the tow charge & have to go to one of those parenting classes. That's my ruling. Case closed.


Milla Update - Milla Jovovich will star in Gold Circle Films' thriller "The 4th Kind" according to The Hollywood Reporter. The fact-based thriller involves an ongoing unsolved mystery in Alaska, where one town has seen an extraordinary number of unexplained disappearances during the past 40 years and there are accusations of a federal cover-up. Jovovich plays a woman investigating the disappearances in the town. Olatunde Osunsanmi is making his directorial debut on the film, which he also wrote. Shooting begins late June. Not really much else to say. Good for her. Sounds like it could be a mix of "The X-Files" and "30 Days of Night" but I'm guessing something far more disappointing...except Milla is one hot Scully. Oh well, chances are I'll still watch it…because it was one of my ten requirements. Maybe the government's covering up time-traveling lesbian strippers that ride robot dinosaurs and feed only on panda bacon. What a twist!


Anyway, that should do it for me today. Hope you all enjoyed it. I may stop in tomorrow on my day off…but we shall see. I plan on hanging with my dad again. Thank you all for everything. You guys rock!!! The gals rock too…probably more so…I just say guys a lot…like dude…and cool cat. Anyway, have a great day!!!

2 comments:

Boldly Serving Up Wheat Grass said...

So, did you think Bianca was hot?

$teve said...

Of course. She was like a petite Angelina. Half-Brazilian and half-Danish makes for a great breakfast. :)

She just always knew what to say...but it's not what's on the outside that counts...but the inside. :)

Where should I go next?