New Year's Eve Eve

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Let's see…after the last entry, I went to my Aunt Missy's birthday party at Barbary Coast…but primarily watched the Patriots game as they went for a perfect regular season…and really are one of the best football teams ever assembled. I would be really surprised if they didn't win it all. The party was a lot of fun. Beverages were had (but not too much, I drank responsibly) and most of the time, my uncle & I just sat and talked about football and all the usual catching up stuff. We discussed in detail how "The Tuck" changed football forever…and maybe not for the better. Oh yeah, I don't know if I mentioned this…but my uncle's a Raiders fan. Poor guy. Just imagine a world were Tom Brady really did fumble in that fateful AFC championship. Were that the case, it would have been the Raiders going to the Super Bowl. Drew Bledsoe would have started for the Patriots the next year (and still suck) as Brady was benched as another "Flash in the Pan" or better yet, traded to the Lions while his stock was hot…where he would have been sacked eight times a game…and suffered some kind of career-ending injury as so many have in the Murder Capital of the World (I don't care what statistics say about St. Louis). Unable to play football, he is the star of the next season of "The Bachelor" instead of former Giants QB Jesse Palmer…and lives the rest of his life in media scrutiny. Meanwhile, Rich Gannon wins Super Bowl MVP. Jerry Rice heads the influx of free agents joining Oakland and its consistent fan base in the Sunshine State…and the Oakland Raiders are the dynasty, not the Patriots. Then again, that didn't happen…so then we discussed topics such as:

• "I think the Patriots need to change their name to the Boston Patriots. New England isn't a state or a city, it's a region. It's not like you can name your team the Southwest Cardinals or the Appalachian Titans. If you're going to do that, you might as well call yourself the American Patriots…and play the American Cowboys…or the Bald Eagles. It's ridiculous…and same goes for those Golden State Warriors. You play in Oakland. The Oakland Warriors sounds more threatening anyway."


• "Brett Favre may be old…but I have memories from the year he was drafted. Vinny Testaverde (who played his last game today) on the other hand, that guy is REALLY old. Number one pick in 1987 and still playing? Wanna know what I remember from 1987? Nap time. Doesn't his last name mean 'Green Testicle' in Spanish?"


• "That rookie running back Adrian Peterson is so good that he plays for two different teams. I've seen it. He's setting all kinds of rookie rushing records with the Vikings…and still has enough energy to play later in the day with the Chicago Bears. I watched them play each other twice and he just changes uniforms and puts on a dreadlock wig during the commercial breaks."
  

(By the way, for those who don't know…there are two rookie running backs named Adrian Peterson. The one for the Bears was third string until the first two got hurt. He actually threw a touchdown pass today and had a pretty good season)

Needless to say, there was a lot of BS'ing going on as we listened to the house band Phat Daddy play covers of Rock & Roll classics as well as some originals, mostly novelty songs. The important thing was that everybody had a good time and got home safely. Big ups to Designated Drivers!!! After about two hours, I went home.

To wind down, I watched "The Brothers Solomon" starring Will Arnett & Will Forte as two brothers who grew up in Alaska with their dad, so they have no idea who to interact with women. Then, their dad (Lee Majors, by the way) goes into a coma but the doctor said that his last wish was to see a grandchild…so now the brothers make it their mission to get him a grandchild…as soon as possible. Queue hilarious antics. The movie was more of an unexpected kind of a funny…but funny nonetheless. Think of it (as the reviews indicate) as "Dumb & Dumber" meets "Knocked Up" but more quirkiness. Anyway, I'd give it a gander if you get the opportunity. I'll admit, some of you will like it, some of you will hate it. It's one of those kind of comedies. Most of you that'll hate it…will be women.

This morning, I downloaded more of my vast & extensive CD collection onto my new iPod…and I have about a thousand songs on there right now…with maybe a third of my collection on there. One of the coolest things about it is going through CDs that I haven't listened to in a while (because I really only listen to them in my car…and only put a few in there at a time…when I think about it). For example, I don't know what it is…but I really like the Statler Brothers. Most of you probably have only heard "Flowers on the Wall" because it was in Pulp Fiction…but their music always seems to put a smile on my face. I also ran into my first CD. Any guesses as to what it is? Place your bets. Ready? My first CD that was given to me on Christmas…was Hootie & the Blowfish "Cracked Rear View". The first CD that I ever bought…was Bush's "Sixteen Stone." Yeah, it was a while since I had heard either of them. Now, I'll have all these songs readily available on a whim to put on my car radio at any time. I'm really looking forward to it. I'm sure you all have similar guilty pleasures…and I'd love to hear about some of them. By the way, the picture on the side came up when I put in iPod...and it looked great to me. No further explanation is needed.

Am I the only one semi-excited about the new "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" TV series coming out in a few weeks? Fox may be looking for a big budget series to get some attention and using a well-established icon like the Terminator trilogy is definitely a good option…but the reason that I'm so excited about it…is that Summer Glau is the Terminator robot sent back to help. She played River on the "Firefly" series…and yes, she's hot…but she was also born exactly one year after I was conceived…and in the city of San Antonio (huge Spurs fan since I was eight)…and is an accomplished ballerina (flexibility is never ever overrated). I think that if we ever met, we would totally hit it off…but we'll see if that ever happens. Where was I? Oh yeah, so robots, time travel, guns, ballerinas, and even Queen Gorgo of 300 (Lena Headey) as Sarah Connor. It could be cool. We shall see. So again, am I the only one excited? I haven't heard much from anybody else.

Fortune Cookie for the Day - "Others find your charm irresistible…in bed." - It's true. I am a fairly charming fellow according to popular opinion…and in bed, I've been told the same. Mostly because I'm fairly unpredictable…a bit zany…and I'm always looking for the smiles. Maybe that's why this blog gets over a hundred hits a day. Do you guys (and hopefully gals) think I'm charming? At least entertaining? Validate me please.

Other than that, I really don't have much to talk about tonight…and I've already talked entirely too much about football…so maybe I'll do my last movie list for the year. Why not? So here it goes…

Dark Comedies - Now, these movies may not really be dark comedies per se…but they are movies that I'll watch…and laugh hysterically throughout…but not in the Jim Carrey kind of way. You know what I mean, right? Oh…and I eliminated Quentin Tarantino from the competition because he'd take all the spots except the Flush It…but it's my blog…so I can do that.

Medal Winners

Gold - Fight Club (1999) - For those of you who haven't seen this movie for one reason or another, you should check it out…even if it's Rated R and against your belief system. God would understand. Believe me. It's a very satirical view on modern commercialism and cult behavior…told through the eyes of an average Joe (Edward Norton) who meets a free-spirited eccentric (Brad Pitt) and they have a wonderful adventure together that ends in worldwide acts of commercial terrorism. Trust me, you WILL enjoy this movie. I don't care if you find every scene hilarious…or don't get half the jokes the first time through…at the very least you'll laugh when Helena Bonham Carter says, "I haven't been f**ked like that since grade school." (Fun little tidbit, originally in the book, that line was supposed to be "I want you to be the father of my abortion" but the studio thought it would be too controversial for some reason) Go check this movie out. If you don't like it, I'll cook you dinner. Deal?

Silver - Thank You for Smoking (2005) - Nick Naylor (Aaron Eckhart) is the ultimate PR guy for Big Tobacco, but while he's trying to BS his way past clinical studies and lobbyists, he's also trying to be a good role model for his son (Cameron Bright, the creepy kid from "Ultraviolet"). It's just great comedy all around with David Koechner, J.K. Simmons, Maria Bello, William H. Macy, Katie Holmes, Rob Lowe, Sam Elliott, Adam Brody, even Robert Duvall is in this movie. For anybody who smokes…or knows somebody who smokes…or knows anybody that likes to BS for a living (Note: I BS for a living) you should check this movie out at least once. You won't regret it. I guarantee it. Would I give it a Silver Medal if I didn't truly think so?

Bronze - Boondock Saints (1999) - Okay, this movie REALLY doesn't qualify officially as a Dark Comedy…but I still laugh while watching it hysterically. I think it's supposed to be a badass shoot-em-up movie starring Sean Patrick Flanery & Norman Reedus as Irish fraternal twins who assassinate some of the evil men of Boston while being tracked down by the FBI (the always creepy Willem Dafoe heading the investigation). The evil men of Boston retaliate by sending the legendary Il Duce (Billy Connolly) after them. There's a lot of guns and a lot of laughs. I've also been told by several ladies that the lead actors are kind of cute…in a belligerent Irish kind of way. I don't know what they meant by that exactly…because they weren't redheads…but whatever. Just forwarding information to you as always.

Suggestion - American Psycho (2000) - A wealthy New York investment banking executive hides his alternate psychopathic ego from his co-workers and friends as he escalates deeper into his illogical, gratuitous fantasies. Based on the book by Bret Easton Ellis and directed by Mary Harron ("The Notorious Bettie Page") and starring Christian Bale in the lead role, I've talked about this movie before…and I find it hilarious and disturbing at the same time. There's also great performances by Willem Dafoe (again as a detective), Reese Witherspoon, and others…but yeah, you should probably check it out…the extended director's cut. Yes, I'll let you borrow it as long as you promise to return it…but don't see the sequel with Mila Kunis & William Shatner. Needless to say, the sequel sucks.

Flush It - Crash (2004) - Okay, allow me to explain. I was having a little trouble thinking of a bad dark comedy…because if a movie isn't funny, I will naturally eliminate it from the comedy genre. So I went to IMDB to look at a list of dark comedies…and near the top was the Best Picture for 2004, Crash…which is a great movie with an incredible ensemble cast that looks at racism from many different perspectives…but to call it a dark comedy…is just not funny at all. This is a dramedy by a streeeeetch of the imagination…but not funny at all. I think that everybody might wanna check out this movie…but if you're looking for a laugh…look elsewhere. Watch one of the other four previously mentioned movies. If you do watch this one, then be prepared for a bit of an emotional rollercoaster in quite the opposite direction. I mean...I know you're not supposed to judge a book (or movie) by its cover...but LOOK AT THE COVER!!! Something tells me that it's not going to be a laugh riot.

Have a great evening…and be sure to stop by my blog some time early in the year 2008…for tomorrow night (since I'll be working instead of getting spit-faced) I will be presenting various awards known as the Stevies. Stay tuned.