Call Me Meester Pig

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

First and foremost, a very happy birthday to my blonde buddy JJ in Denver, who's always a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. Sorry about the brevity of yesterday's entry (Lilie) but I was exhausted…and frankly, the game was on…and it was a good game. The Lakers won, so the season isn't over quite yet. There's at least a glimmer of hope. Anyway, enough about that, let's get to what happened over the weekend.


I'd like to say that I saw a movie Thursday night that was allegedly a comedy…but was easily one of the stupidest and most boring movies of all time. It's called "Smiley Face" and stars Anna Faris, Danny Masterson, & John Krasinski…but there's a reason that you haven't heard of it…because it's REALLY stupid…and that's a bold statement coming from me. It's the story of a lady pothead (Faris) and the 'adventures' that she has…doing absolutely nothing right. Now, it's a low budget independent film…but I've been surprised before…so I thought that I'd give it a shot. I'm regretting it now. Don't watch it. Don't fall for the "Like Harold & Kumar…but with a hot chick" kind of thing…because it is NOTHING like Harold & Kumar…though Harold (John Cho) is in it as a day player…along with Danny Trejo. Anyway, don't watch this movie. It's the new Flush It on my Stoner Movie list (sorry "Homegrown" but you weren't meant as a comedy anyway). Spend that 90 minutes of your life doing something else productive. Call up an old friend that you've been meaning to or something, anything but watch this movie. I also got a wonderful gift from Mickey, it's a talking Po from Kung Fu Panda (which I have still yet to see) from a value meal apparently. He kicks ass...and now he's in his natural environment...my crib. Skadoosh!!!



Friday morning, I woke up bright and early…because I double checking my packing and was expecting to be picked up around "Ten…10:30 at the latest" because my mom & stepdad had decided to wake up early…or so I was told. I called around 10:30 and they were just about to leave their house…which is over an hour away. Awesome. Two hours later, they pick me up at my house. Okay, it was to be expected…because I anticipated this & thus suggested that they try to show up early. If I hadn't done that, they might have picked me up around sunset. It's not their fault that I had plans to hang out with friends in Vegas…because it didn't concern them. Why should it, right? Anyway, can't complain because it was "a free ride" down there…and seriously, what was I expecting? I've traveled with them before. Kudos to my stepdad for not stopping every twenty minutes to take a ten minute leak (old age must suck) like last time.


Though we were already several hours late, they insisted on getting some lunch at La Taqueria (originally Café Rio but it proved to hard to find in Orem). So yes, I was to spend the next 6-8 hours in a truck with three 50-year olds after they had Mexican food. You know what though, it's like the Great Steve Miller once said, "You got to go through Hell before you…get to Heaven."


The drive wasn't actually that bad. It was scenic & beautiful outside the windows. We discussed gas prices of course (never thought the $75 limit on using credit cards would be a major issue until we needed to fill the tank) and how we were going to overcome them by using solar, wind, & magic power. That's right, I mentioned that I was going to be the first to design a sportscar that is fueled solely by hopes, dreams, and sexual frustration. I even mentioned the possibility of a car that runs on urine…so you may never have to stop at a convenience store ever again. Anyway, I'll keep you posted on how my car design comes through. Also, my mom & stepdad are really bad freeway drivers. My mom lacks the focus to pay attention to the road for more than thirty seconds at a time…and my stepdad has a hard time staying awake for more than an hour sitting up. Yet they wouldn't let me drive…because they're stubborn. With my mom, we came up with a new term called Gawk Blocking. It's when you keep the driver focused on keeping the truck on the road (before he/she hits those annoying yet apparently necessary shoulder bumps) because he/she is looking at the mountains out his/her side window. Luckily, I was sitting behind her…so I could see when she had a wandering eye. "Hey, watch the road Grandma." I like to throw that out there…because it's true…and she yells it to other drivers all the time…doing the exact same stuff that she does. Love ya mom. Here's what you miss sometimes as the driver on the trip from Slick City to Mesquite / Vegas…




Eventually we got to Mesquite…about three hours later than originally planned…and it took a half hour to get them checked in…so I was a little frustrated…but I got over it quickly once I called Bubbles to let her know that I was on my way & she was "super excited" to see me. The only bad part was that now I was driving pretty much into the sunset…in a truck...that I had never driven before…through the construction of North Las Vegas and to the other side of town…on a Friday night. Wasn't too happy about being given that set of circumstances…but I traversed it without resistance & made it to Bubbles' house. I was greeted by her & her 6-year old roommate Keanna. Now, the last time I was down there, Keanna did nothing other than peek around the corner…and then give out a girlish super screech and run into her room when she saw me (so she obviously liked me…but was a little kid). I heard Bubbles say to her through the doorway before it was opened, "This is my bestest buddy Cookie. Please don't scream this time, okay? He's my buddy." So then the door opens…and I'm greeted and Keanna's kind of shy and standing by the door, so I kneel down and say hi. She smiles and within a few seconds, she's asking me if I want to play. Little kids love me…eventually. They're just usually scared by my size first…but they warm up to me.


Bubbles & I got ready and went to meet up with a few of her friends & their daughter for dinner at Red Lobster. It was…well, dinner at Red Lobster. Good but not great, company was awesome though. We had a great time…and their 4-year old daughter was a cutie. After dinner, we took her back home so that her grandma could watch her…and then the four of us went to a Karaoke club at Imperial Palace Casino to have a few drinks & embarrass ourselves harmoniously. However, almost as soon as we got there…Bubbles started having a migraine…so after about an hour, it became unbearable, so we all headed home for the night. Here are some pictures before that happened though…

At least one wasn't too busy to pose...

HT & Bubbles

Hotchuma Hotchuma!!!

So basically that night, being the ultimate friend, I doubled as her Migraine Butler & helped her to find a dark, serene environment with extra strength Tylenol, cold water, wet rags for her forehead, and anything else that she needed. I was pretty tired anyway (stress from the drive) so it's all good. The next morning, she was feeling a little better. So we decided to hang out at her house with her roommates. Keanna & I played games like drawing, throwing blankets on each other, and the like. Her roommates made a wonderful lunch with pork chops, Mac & cheese, corn on the cob, salad, and mashed potatoes. It was delicious. However, they were also getting their air conditioner fixed midday…when it was about 107…and that wouldn't have been so bad…if Keanna wasn't so damn squealy…and Barbie's little rat dog Bocephus (after Hank Williams jr) wasn't yapping at the repair man every few minutes…so that caused Bubbles' migraines to get worse again…so we decided to leave & hang out at my hotel room, air conditioned & away from loud noises.


Keanna & Me

Barbie & Bocephus (AC was out)

Bubbles & Keanna

Oh, we also met up with a former Boss Lady of mine Isadora who works at the hotel that I was staying at. I mentioned to her my situation (hiring freeze at potential employer, nobody seems to be hiring in the area right now, ready to move, etc.) and she made a few calls right there because she had remembered something about a position they've been trying to find a good fit for at her hotel. Now, I had investigated that hotel before…and this position…but it had mentioned management requirements and stuff that I didn’t have per se. She talked with the guy in charge of that department…and long story short, good starting salary, pay for relocation, 12 month commitment (or I have to give the relocation back), and I should definitely apply…and it's pretty much the same position that I was applying for at the other hotel. So yeah, I may have to throw my hat into the ring (or however that saying goes) and see what happens. Yeah, I was trying to avoid a workplace on the Strip…but it's easy access from all angles (that's what she said) and its financial situation is a lot more stable…because it's with timeshares instead of hotels, so the money's paid in advance. They're building extra towers while other hotels are laying off managers. It might not be a bad situation for me. I'm definitely going to look into it. I'll keep you posted as always.



Anyway, back to the trip. Bubbles & I basically hung out at the hotel room watching TV at a low volume, with the lights out, ordered a Hawaiian pizza (surprisingly bad for the price), tried to ease her pain with my sultry Barry White baritone voice, and eventually lulled her to sleep. So I used that time to make a few calls, order the pizza, set up the time to pick up the oldies in Mesquite, say hi to the Wingman & Mrs. Wingman to set up lunch the next day…but the next day was Father's Day & Mrs. Wingman's birthday…so they already had plans. It's all good though. Then I flipped through the channels and watch parts of probably half a dozen movies like "Braveheart", "Sleepless in Seattle" (she was awake for that one), "Scary Movie" on Comedy Central, and so on. Bubbles wasn't sleeping well, having nightmares, so I was there if she needed a glass of water, a comforting rub on the shoulder, back, or neck, a reassuring word, and anything else. Sure, it's not the wild weekends that Vegas is famous for…but honestly, I went there to hang out with Bubbles…and that's what I was doing. Besides, I'd hate to think of her having serious migraines like that…and having to deal with her roommates and their squealing daughter & dog…without air conditioning (which wasn't fixed until 1 AM apparently). See? Things happen for a reason. She was miserable the weekend before in San Diego because her sister was less than helpful…but that's why she has a friend like me. We should all be so lucky.


Sunday morning, we had a fairly early checkout of 10 AM (would've been a lot worse if we had actually partied) so we checked out and went to the Sunday Brunch at Fiesta Henderson again. Great value for $12.99 and a full buffet complete with mimosas & crab legs. Oh…and fortune cookies. Yesterday, my fortune cookie said, "Focus on yellow tomorrow to achieve success…in bed." So either I'm looking for a beautiful Asian today…or I'm going to have bladder problems. We had a great breakfast, Bubbles' headache was gone & she was ever so grateful, and we even spent a few bucks gambling before heading back to her house.


It was already around noon by the time we got back to her house, so I was only able to hang out for about an hour before heading back to Mesquite / Slick City. If I were truly a prick, I would've left about three hours later…but I'm not…and like I said, it was a free ride down. So a few minutes into "Dragonheart" (really wanted to see Dina Meyer in that one), I had to leave…and I did so with big hugs from Bubbles & Keanna (who comprise all of the people in the world who call me Cookie).


We drove back pretty event free…except that I was trying to sleep…but couldn't because (as stated) my mom & stepdad drive like crap so I would doze off, then the truck would suddenly jerk and slam my head into the "Oh sh*t!" handle. Not the window…the "Oh sh*t" handle…right in the temple…because I love being so tall. So yeah, after a few deep brain bruises, I just stayed awake and gawk blocked my mom while she drove. We eventually made it back to my house a little after 9 PM and I immediately called Bubbles to let her know that I had made it home safe & sound. After that, blogged for a few seconds, watched the end of the game, and then some Family Guy & a new Venture Brothers episode. All of which were awesome…then slept like a babe until I came to work. Oh yeah, thanks Mom...for the wonderful little book of Hand Shadows. I'll be sure to put it to good use with my projector TV. Always great with the gifts...



So my Vegas adventure really wasn't much of an adventure per se…but it served it's purpose. I got to hang out with my buddy Bubbles, have fun, find out about job opportunities, and not work. All the important stuff about a good vacation. Big ups to JL Clyde for covering for me on Saturday last minute…and to Lilie for her help on Friday. You ladies rock!!! Next time you're in Vegas, I'll hook ya up…hopefully. That's really about all that I have for today. Again, happy birthday to JJ in Denver!!! We haven't forgotten you. Have a great day everybody!!!

Planning for the Unknown

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yesterday was a pretty good day at work. Bubbles stopped by for lunch and she, the Mad Scientist, & I went to Granato's Deli for lunch. They're pretty good...but take a long time to fix a sam'ich. It's all good though because I got to hang with the homeys for a while. Other than that, nothing too eventful except everybody asking me if I heard from Vegas yet. Oh...and the Mad Scientist got a fortune that he says was for me, reading "You will find a good paying job." We decided to split it down the middle...so our fortunes read "You will good" and "Find a paying job." Awesome.

Last night after work, JJ stopped by to say hi and we caught up on stuff like her going to the Cure concert the other day, her move (and subsequent drama) to Denver, my possible move to Vegas, all the usual stuff...and she's borrowing my Season 2 of "Big Love" because she has some kind of obsession with polygamists. She was telling me that she was glued to CNN for a few weeks over that whole Texas compound thing last month. We all have to have a hobby, I guess. I have movies and basketball, she has polygamy and designer shoes. After she left to pick up some friends from the airport, I was insanely bored until I decided to go to sleep. How bored was I? I watched most of "Sleepless in Seattle" on TV before deciding to get my rest for what's hopefully a busy week ahead of me. The movie is cheesy...but has a great soundtrack at least. Still haven't heard from Bubbles...but hopefully she's doing okay today & just had too good of a time to answer her phone. We've all been there...a few times.

This morning, I woke up, did some laundry, and have basically been looking over my apartment cataloguing what's going to Vegas with me...and what's probably staying or parting with at a yard sale in the near future. I'll keep you posted...and cut you a great deal. Know anybody who needs a surprisingly comfortable sofabed? Cream leather love seat? (Leather and Vegas summers don't seem like a good idea) A crapload of engineering and marketing school books? Let me know. Tonight, I have a tentatively scheduled blind date...and since I'm in the area, I might just hang out with my brother & his family for Memorial day. We'll see I guess. In the meantime, since I have little else to say, here's another Movie List.

Vegas Movies - Since I've been talking about this damn place for almost a year solid in one way or another…I figured it was about time that I did a list for movie set in Sin City (though oddly enough, not "Sin City"). This is of course not inclusive of all Vegas movies (or colorful backdrops) but just some of my favorites…and I purposely left out all the Nicolas Cage movies…because half the movies that he's in revolve around this place ("Honeymoon in Vegas", "Leaving Las Vegas", "Con Air", "Snake Eyes", "Next", etc.)

Medal Winners

Gold - Ocean's Trilogy (2001-07) - If you haven't, check out the original film from the 60's starring the Rat Pack & Angie Dickinson…but I'm guessing that most of you have seen the remakes this past decade and loved them as much as I did. Basically, it's gotten to the point where the casting call is "Get every cool actor in Hollywood, add a few hotties, dress them all in the best outfits possible, oh…and see if you can have them steal something big too." I really like them because they're quirky, glitsy, and just plain cool…and a man can dream to be that one day. Maybe I should get into the thievery business. We'll see how that goes when I'm in Vegas. Still think that drinking beers & playing pool with George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Matt Damon (only edged out Pacino because Al seems like a mean drunk) would be the coolest…but then again, that may never happen. Again, a guy can dream. Besides, they're those movies that you can enjoy watching multiple times because you catch something extra each time. That's a great element to have in a flick.

Silver - Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas (1998) - Based on the Hunter S. Thompson novel and starring Benecio Del Toro with a moustache and Johnny Depp with a comb-over, this movie is just great debaucherous, drugged-out fun. Basically it's Thompson's ode to the turning point in hippie culture and all this other stuff (haven't actually read the book but I'm sure the Mad Scientist or JL Clyde can fill you in with a better understanding of the actual literature) but yeah, it's just a lot of wild & crazy stuff with a lot of inner monologue and rants and basically the stuff that you read on this blog…but more psychedelic & insightful.

Bronze - Bugsy (1991) - The story of Ben "Bugsy" Siegel and his interesting transition from mob boss to founder of the glitsy Las Vegas style is a movie that I seriously enjoy…and I'm not really sure why. Warren Beatty is Bugsy, Harvey Kietel is his right-hand man, Annette Bening is his mistress, even Sir Ben Kingsley makes an appearance as a mob boss, there's a few great scenes…but it's really the story about a man who has a vision…and then basically tries to BS his way out of a mafia debt…which usually ends badly. I think it was nominated for Best Picture or something when it came out. Check it out. I'm sure that I've mentioned it before in my Gangster Movie List. This just barely beat out the Martin Scorsese classic "Casino" (1995) starring Robert DeNiro, Joe Pesci, Sharon Stone, and a bunch of other Scorsese standards. Lots of great one-liners in that movie…and I still use "Settle out of court" whenever I can…and it comes up a surprising amount. There's a lot of holes in that desert...

Suggestion - Viva Las Vegas (1964) - Why do I suggest it? Because it's Elvis and Ann Margaret (greatest costar with Elvis ever & who's still hot though well into her sixties) in the story of race car driver Lucky Jackson who while getting his car fixed meets the lovely Rusty Martin (Margaret) and then the usual bad guy comes in and tries to win the race & steal his girl…but he's Elvis…and this is Vegas, baby. Also, feel free to check out "Fools Rush In" (1997) with Matthew Perry & Salma Hayek for a romantic-comedy that's actually kind of funny or "Swingers" (1996) if you're into the whole vintage Vince Vaughn thing. There's also the iconic "National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation" (1997) with Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, and Randy Quaid…oh, and Wayne Newton. Check them all out if you haven't already.

Flush It - Lucky You (2007) - Okay, so I was bored as hell on that cruise that I took last November…and it was bad weather on our day at sea…so I set in the room for a few hours and watched this show about a professional poker player (Eric Bana), who meets a waitress (Drew Barrymore), falls for her, and apparently keeps losing his & her money…yet still keeps at it. Basically, he has an addiction…but it's his job…so he keeps at it…and there's the love interest involved…and a rival that tries to spit some life lessons at him (Robert Duvall) and it's really just a movie that's hard to watch really. That's why it beat out "Showgirls" (1995) because at least in that movie I get to see Elizabeth Berkley & Gina Gershon…a LOT of Elizabeth Berkley & Gina Gershon.

Future Watch - What Happens In Vegas… (2008) - Okay, so I'm not really going to see this movie probably…because it has Ashton Kutcher (who punk'd me in a dream) and Cameron Diaz (what happened?) and it just seems pretty lame. Who knows? I may rent it. What I'm really looking forward to is when I move down there and meet the filmmakers making "Ocean's 14" (2010?) and they write in a part for me…as the 14th member of the crew. I'd be the tall cousin of the twins from Utah (Casey Affleck & Scott Caan) that has to come in for some reason. I don't write the scripts. I'm just an actor. Probably to bring in some young, hot blood into the mix since most of the stars are in their forties…but I'll admit, still dashing & charming individuals. I'd fit in nicely with the crew. Also, I look forward to starring in my own romantic comedy (2009?) while I'm down there…so we'll see how that goes. I'll let you know when I start casting for costars.

Have a great weekend everybody...or probably more accurately, hope you all had a great weekend!!! Play safe & have fun!!! I'll let you know how the date went...or if it went. What the heck is it with me and dating? It just never seems to work. Oh well, maybe this will end the streak. You never know unless you try, right? Wish me luck.

Put the Bunny in the Box

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Not a whole lot has happened since last time. I worked until late, then was back here in the morning. Filly, JL Clyde, and most of the other ladies here at work have told me that they're going to miss me WHEN I move to Vegas (no, not official yet, but we're optimistic) but they're very supportive of the move. I even spent the greater part of my shift checking out apartments in the area and sent a list to Bubbles so that she can tell me if she's already checked them out. Such a good friend to help me out…but I'm there for her when she needs me too. Karma!!!


I may also have a blind date tomorrow night. A few weeks ago, my mom tried to set me up with the daughter of a coworker…and after my mom proving her limited technological knowledge and giving me a few wrong numbers, I was finally able to get a hold of her yesterday…and we'll see how it works out. You may be asking yourself…or me indirectly, "Why are you going on a blind date when you're probably only going to be living here for another two weeks or so?" The answer is simple. I'm a cheap date…and a lot of fun. She apparently got out of a bad relationship…and at the very least, I can show her that there are still a few great nice guys out there (though finding us is like looking for diamonds) and make her smile a bit over a casual dinner with no strings attached. Now tell me that's not a tempting offer, ladies. By the way, if you're interested, drop me a line.


This week at work has been Associate Appreciation Week…and today has a Japanese theme, so they have a room set up for karaoke and sodoku while they serve you edamame and fortune cookies. My cookie message for the day is a great one - "You are in for a very pleasant surprise….in bed." REALLY? Sweet. I can't wait. Also, Lilie finally came back from her two week vacation of France…and she told me that she had some catching up to do on my blog. Boy, is she going to be disappointed…here's some news.


Burger Decadence - How much would you pay for the world's greatest hamburger? Now, think about it for a second. What constitutes the world's greatest hamburger? How about a Kobe beef patty…from cattle that are massaged by big-breasted Japanese women in a manner passed down through the millennia…and fed nothing but sake and beer. I am NOT joking. Top it off with black truffles, seared foie gras, aged Gruyere cheese, wild mushrooms…and fleck of gold leaf served hot on a brioche bun. That's right. GOLD on your burger. Any guesses on the price yet? $100? Try higher…and yes, I know that we're in a bit of a recession. Well, at the Wall Street Burger Shoppe, they just raised the price of this burger from $150 to $175, just so that they could say that they have the most expensive burger in town (which apparently has some kind of appeal to crazy Wall Street types…something to keep in mind when they're handling your 401k). Yes, $175 plus tax & gratuity…so essentially just over $200 if you're a good tipper. That had better be one damn fine burger. I wonder if it comes with free lube.


Captain Monty? - A pilot's nighttime romp in the woods with a flight attendant has ended with both suspended and under arrest. Jeffrey Paul Bradford and Adrianna Grace Connor, both 24-year old employees of Pinnacle Airlines Inc., were at a diner on Sunday night before they apparently decided to take a walk. "They told the officer they wanted to go do it in the woods, essentially," said Sgt. Richard Brandt. "That's the best answer they had." Things went awry when people who live in the neighborhood summoned police around 9:30 p.m., saying they had seen a naked man and an intoxicated woman. A helicopter with heat-seeking equipment was called in, and Bradford was discovered hiding behind a shed shortly before midnight. His only attire was a pair of flip-flops and a wristwatch…and probably a smile. Both were charged with indecent exposure and public drunkenness. Police also said that Connor had taken a flashlight from a neighbor's vehicle (apparently Capt.. Bradford wasn't enough for her). See what happens when the pilot isn't allowed to leave the cockpit (hehehehe) mid-flight to renew their membership into the Mile High Club? They bring their kookiness down to Earth. Why else would you have a copilot? Or an auto pilot? Anyway, maybe it's just me…and I'm glad that my buddy & loyal blog reader Captain Monty has yet to be caught in such circumstances…but apparently he's a little craftier than these two.


National Treasure 3: Search for Lincoln's Gold - A U.S. historian pleaded guilty on Tuesday to a federal charge stemming from stealing letters penned by former U.S. Presidents George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. 51-year old Edward Renehan admitted stealing an 1840 letter written by Lincoln and two by Washington written in 1791 and 1778. Renehan later sold them to a New York gallery for $97,000, according the U.S. Attorney's Office in Manhattan. Renehan, who has written six books including one on the Kennedys, stole the letters from the Theodore Roosevelt Association, a New York-based historical and cultural association where he had been a director. He pleaded guilty to one count of interstate transportation of stolen property and faces a maximum of 10 years in prison. Renehan had suffered from bipolar disorder that was undiagnosed during 2005 and 2006 at the time of the thefts, his lawyer Peter Brill said. There was no word as to whether he found the clues on the letters that he was looking for to find the Free Mason's Gold or Cibola, the Lost City of Gold…but I'm sure that his hot girlfriend & clever sidekick are already working on a way to get him out of custody and back on the trail. On that note, here's my next Movie List…


Nicolas Cage Movies - Sure he may be a member of the Coppola family…but he's still been in a lot of good movies using a different name so that he didn't have to ride coattails (like Drew Barrymore). Kudos.


Medal Winners

Gold - Con Air (1997) - This is one of those movies that are on TNT or TBS or some other cable network just about everyday…and if I'm flipping through the channels, I basically MUST watch it. Holy crap, I just realized that this movie ends in Vegas too…to join his other features like "Honeymoon in Vegas" & "Leaving Las Vegas" and let's not forget "Snake Eyes" or that he was a magician at a small Vegas casino in "Next", damn that's a lot of Vegas inspired movies for one man to have. Anyway, though it's your usual badass Jerry Bruckheimer produced movie full of chases, one-liners, explosions, clear-cut heroes & villains, and a star studded cast including John Malkovich, Steve Buscemi, Ving Rhames, Dave Chappelle, John Cusack, Colm Meaney, Danny Trejo, and others. Great action flick…and it might be my Catcher in the Rye (See "Conspiracy Theory" if you don't know the reference).


Silver - Face/Off (1997) - Basically I dedicate the Silver to all the other action flicks that Nicolas Cage kicked ass in…starting with John Woo's Face/Off because I liked him being paired up opposite John Travolta. Also, Gina Gershon's in this movie briefly…and it has some of my favorite lines ever such as "I can eat a peach for hours" and "I hate to see you go…but I love to watch you leave" and "If I were to send you flowers…wait, that's not it. If I told you to suck my tongue…would you be grateful?" Love this movie. Next is "The Rock" (1996) with Sean Connery, Ed Harris, & Michael Biehn…and it just kicks ass. Also have to watch it when it's on TV. "Gone in 60 Seconds" (2000) gets on this list because of Angelina Jolie and the hot cars. Remember blonde, dreadlocked, tattooed up Angelina in that movie? Somehow she made it work. I think it was the hotness, being a natural brunette, and talking about cars in a sexual manner.


Bronze - Raising Arizona (1987) - Dedicated to the funny side of Mr. Cage. Have the Coen Brothers made a bad movie yet? I'll look into it…but this is just a quirky funny movie about love, crime, and parenting and other stuff costarring Holly Hunter, William Forsythe, and John Goodman. I also really liked "Trapped in Paradise" (1994) with Dana Carvey & Jon Lovitz about a criminal family robbing a bank then getting trapped in the nicest city ever. You read about "Leaving Las Vegas" (1995) yesterday. Not funny…but surprisingly, it's the movie that got him an Academy Award…for looking tired & pretending to be drunk. Really? It was kind of a lame year going against Nixon (Sir Anthony Hopkins), Mr. Holland's Opus (Richard Dreyfuss), a Dead Man Walking (Sean Penn), and the Postman (Italian dude) but regardless, congratulations Mr. Cage.


Suggestion - Fire Birds (1990) - This was his first real action movie, I think. Tommy Lee Jones & Sean Young star in it too. I had never heard of it until recently…but it was pretty good. It's basically the Top Gun story with apache helicopters but still pretty good. TLJ makes it worth watching. Also, I watched "8MM" (1999) with Filly a while back and it was pretty good…for being about smut films. Anyway, I've pretty much talked about every movie of his now except a select few.


Flush It - It Could Happen To You (1994) - Now, I enjoy me a good romantic-comedy every once in a while…but this story about an NYPD officer (Cage) and a waitress (Bridget Fonda) splitting his lottery winnings & magically falling in love (sorry if I spoiled it) is a little too sappy even for me. There is one good thing about this movie though…and that's the soundtrack that features the likes of Tony Bennett, Billie Holliday, Frank Sinatra, and a lot of good time crooner music.



Future Watch - Werewolf Women of the S.S. (2009?) - Am I still the only person in America that wants to see Nicolas Cage star as Dr. Fu Manchu? Well, he's got real movies coming out soon too…like "Bangkok Dangerous" (8/22/08) which apparently is an action film directed by the Pang Brothers ("The Eye" & "The Messengers") and is apparently him kicking as in Thailand. I'm already intrigued. "Ghost Rider 2" (2009) is allegedly also a possibility (unfortunately) and the CGI-animation flick "G-Force" (2009) will star him, Steve Buscemi, Tracy Morgan, Penelope Cruz, and others as team of trained secret agent guinea pigs that take on a mission for the US government to stop an evil billionaire, who plans to destroy the world with household appliances. I AM NOT JOKING!!! He plays a mole named Speckles. Now that's badass!!!


Anyway, that'll do it for me for tonight. Hopefully my fortune cookie comes true and I'm pleasantly surprised. Have a great day everybody!!! Oh...and just to finish this Nicolas Cage business...please enjoy my picture with him one last time...

Vegas - Home of Lady Luck

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

As proclaimed yesterday, I have returned from Vegas. It was a lot of fun and a great trip despite the triple digit, record-breaking weather during the day...but those kind of days lead to hot nights. Okay, don't get your hopes up just for me yet. I went with my dad...and he doesn't know how to keep a secret, so we didn't get too wild. Anyway, without further ado, here we go with my latest journey to Vegas.

Day 1

That night was like Christmas morning. I slept for a few hours...and then starting around 3:30 AM, I couldn't go back to sleep, so after about 30 minutes of fighting it, I just got up and double-triple checked everything for the trip. I met up with my dad at his house so that my stepmom could give us a ride to the airport. He was apparently excited to go too. My dad is a lot like me...so if you know me, you know him...with a few differences and about 25 years extra experience. Differences such as...

1) My father really has no inner monologue - It may be part of the unfreezing process or something...but if he thinks something, he'll say it. My brother inherited this trait...but I'm usually able to control myself (though my blog entries tend to ramble like I don't).
2) He says everything like a question...but wants a response - He tends to end just about every statement with a "Right?" or an "Eh?" or something like that...probably to seek confirmation in his beliefs...but it causes a problem with the next one.
3) He also has no volume control - Due to a life of many, many rock & roll concerts, cranked up headphones, and even massive amounts of swimming in the latest years, his ears and perception of volume are severely lacking. This can often create a problem due to the lack of inner monologue...and combined with his being hard of hearing...and still wanting confirmation on basically everything, here's an example of a pretty standard statement.

Dad: "(Grunt that indicates sexual arousal) Look at that girl there. Nice, eh?"
$teve (already checking with peripherals): "Yeah, nice."
Dad: "Right?"
$teve: "Yup."
Dad: "WHAT?"
$teve: "YES. Nice."
Dad: "Um, me likey. (Purposely creepy laugh & shoulder nudges)"

He's a great guy and all...but yeah, I don't like to repeat myself five or six times...especially when it's something like "Yup" and apparently a nod or thumbs up doesn't work for him either (bifocals?) so yeah, it gets old really quick. Love the guy though, so I try to make him happy...and not have him embarrass me at the same time. I did pretty well on this trip. We had a good time.

We arrived at the airport pretty early in the morning, so we picked up the rental car, stopped by a gas station to load up on drinks, ice & a cooler, then drove down the Strip. My dad hadn't seen it in about twenty years, so I tried to catch him up on everything while driving...which is kind of hard with questions like "What's that?" when he's not pointing at anything or giving me a vague description...but I did pretty well. We then pulled into the Planet Hollywood Casino & Hotel's parking lot (central location) and walked around a bit. We had lunch at the Harley-Davidson Cafe and their Pulled Pork Sandwiches are pretty good. We also had a superhot blonde Midwestern biker chick from Chicago as our waitress, so that was nice. Very nice. Here are some pictures of the Cafe...

Here was our rental car

Okay, so it was really a Saturn Aura...

but we briefly considered it.

My dad's dream bike

Harley-Davidson Dyna Wide Glide

After lunch, we decided to head to our hotel for the next few nights, the Ritz-Carlton Lake Las Vegas in beautiful Henderson, Nevada. We checked into our rooms and I gave my dad a little tour of the property so that he could get around in my absence...because I was meeting up with Bubbles when she got off work so that I could meet her roommates. Here are some pictures of the hotel...from this trip...but I have many more on my other Vegas trip posts.

The view from our room

Bubbles hooked us up

Bubbles and I met up and she drove me to her place. You may remember that the chief purpose of my last trip was to help her find a place...so I was curious where she ended up. We first stopped at a bar called Timbers to have a cool frosty alcoholic beverage in an air-conditioned local before heading to her place. The bar was nice. Pool tables, good drinks, good service. I recommend it. Her house was nice too. Her roommates seemed like good people, especially the house's owner who's a great mother figure for the rest of them. The 6-year old seemed to be scared of me...but I think she was just pretending. She's a cutie though. After changing out of her work attire, we headed back to the Ritz to meet up with my dad for dinner at the Sonrisa Grill in Montelago Village.

Dinner was great with Bubbles and my Dad. We had a good time with some great food, great tunes, and a few drinks (except my dad, because he's been sober for six years now). After dinner, Bubbles seemed to have had a few many, so I drove her home for the evening and made sure that she got to bed safely. Since it was already late & she needed her car for a dentist appointment early morning, I decided to just stay the night at her house and slept on the floor. I know. "Why would you give up a night's sleep in the legendary Ritz-Carlton beds that you've gone on & on about for years...to sleep on your friend's floor?" Because she got home safe and sound...and Karma comes back around. I hope that you're all lucky enough to have at least one friend like me, there when you need them. Didn't sleep too well...but would have slept much worse worrying about her getting home safe...so it's all good.

Day 2

We woke up with queasy stomachs (alcohol + lack of sleep?) and headed to her dentist appointment, then she dropped me off at the Ritz-Carlton before heading to work. Then I showered up real quick, experience the Club Lounge at the Ritz-Carlton (well worth the extra Benjamin for food & drinks all day if you're there at the hotel) and then we decided to head out to see the area around the hotel, including beautiful Lake Mead and the engineering marvel that is Hoover Dam.

Here are some pictures of Lake Mead. Cool thing was that when we pulled up, we saw four big eagles flying overhead...but I wasn't able to get a good picture of them. it was still an amazing sight though. I'd recommend it if you're in the area...but it was hot this day.

See the Eagle? Didn't think so...

My dad & I are both engineering geeks (he has a degree & I almost did before changing majors after three years), so Hoover Dam is really cool to us. We walked around, took pictures, and talked about how we'd like to come back to see the Bridge when it's finished. Funny thing is that I've seen Hoover Dam four times before...but this was my dad's first time. He mentioned (several times due to previous differences) that the first time he saw the Hoover Dam was on "Transformers" last summer.

Proof my dad is also a nerd

Dam Visitor Center

The bridge is going to be wicked awesome

When you're a man, the world is your urinal...

Behold the world's largest urinal

On our way back from the Dam, I was getting a call from the hotel. Remembering the last time I answered that number inappropriately for my 1st interview, I simply answered hello this time. It was, in fact, the HR manager for my hopeful future employer asking me if I'd like to do a 2nd Interview since I was in town. "Sure, I can meet you there in...30-45 minutes if that's cool." "Well, I may not be here that late..." "Well, I can be there in 10-15 minutes if you don't mind me being in shorts & a T-shirt. My dad & I have just been out near Hoover Dam all day." "Ugh...yeah, that'd be great. I'll meet you in the lobby in fifteen minutes then."

The interview went very well, I think. We seemed to have a good conversation going...and of course I made her smile a few times, so that's usually a plus. Her former position was the position that I was applying for...and she mentioned this after I explained my reasons for pursuing that position...and she seemed to like my responses. Anyway, I'm not an HR professional, so we'll see in the next few weeks if they want me as an employee. (However, I just got my annual review last night...and I don't mean to brag...but it was the highest rating possible...so I've got that going for me when/if they call my current employers) I'm very excited about the possibility of moving to Vegas...and combined with the queasiness in the stomach and lack of food for some time, I went to get something to eat. First, I had to tell Bubbles how it went...and she seemed stuck on "You wore THAT to your interview?" even after explaining the context...but she was excited for me too. We had a celebratory drink at the Irish pub, Auld Dubliner in the village before we parted ways (she was feeling sicker than I was).

My dad & I ate at the Club Lounge again (because it was included) and shortly after arriving there, Bubbles called to tell me that all of her roommates had this mystery stomach illness thing, so it wasn't our drinking (because I didn't drink that much...but I am a lightweight). So we decided to just make this night a rest & relaxation evening so that we could be fully rested & healthy for the other nights. My dad & I just watched basketball and I slept for about ten solid hours, twelve total...and didn't feel the least bit bad about it. Remember, I hadn't slept really comfortably in a few days...and the heat of Vegas saps my strength so. If I move out there, I'll definitely have to figure out that.

Day 3

Dad & I woke up to the Club Lounge breakfast again, then headed for the Strip to see more of it. Along the way, we talked a lot about me moving to Vegas and he of course gave me fatherly advice along the way...and I reassured him with my theories and told him that I had thoroughly thought it through long before even applying for the job. I was really excited...almost giddy on the drive down (I had slept well) but yeah, on the drive back from being on the Strip in hundred degree weather for 4-5 hours, I was very quiet on the way back.

We walked through the mid-section of the Strip including the Venetian, Palazzo, Wynn, Treasure Island, and ended up at the Mirage about the time we ran out of sweat (even drinking water consistently) so we stopped into the California Pizza Kitchen, shared a BBQ chicken pizza, drank lots of water, and placed a few bets. I put $20 on the Spurs to win the championship at 10:1 odds. Step one was beating the Hornets last night...and they did. He placed bets for the KC Chiefs (80:1) and Denver Broncos (25:1) to win the Super Bowl...so basically gave Vegas money. After that, we headed back for the hotel to rest until the sun went down.

Surprisingly, I look more tired than Nicolas Cage does

Then again, I was pretending.

As soon as I arrived back at the hotel, I got a text from Bubbles to meet her at the Auld Dubliner. Slowly but surely over the next hour, it went from the two of us to about six coworkers (all female) having a few drinks after work. Then four of us went over to the Sonrisa Grill to share some appetizers and have a few more drinks. Those ladies are a lot of fun. Free of inhibitions after half a margarita (or Mesori Sour...or something like that) and we were having a wonderful R-rated conversation about whatever. Good times with the ladies. They occasionally would say something ragging on men and then look at me and go "Sorry, nothing personal." "Oh...I know. It's true. No worries." We had a GREAT time and I met a few of my (hopefully) future coworkers.

After that, I went back to the room to relax a bit (finally), watched a little basketball (including the nailbiter finish of Lakers/Jazz Game 6) and then met up with Bubbles, her boss, and her boss' husband at Timbers later that night for dinner. They were all great people...and again, we had a great time. We didn't have much to drink...but because I didn't want my dad to get sick or anything from me, I drove Bubbles home and stayed there another night. I'm too damn nice. Oh well, that's why I keep my bed like a Ritz-Carlton bed at home...so I can miss it for a few nights...but always return to it.

Day 4

The next morning, we checked out of the Ritz-Carlton after breakfast and made our way to our last hotel, the Marriott Suites. It wasn't quite the same luxury level as the other hotel, but still very nice...and all of the rooms are spacious suites...and it's within hundred degree walking distance of the Riviera hotel...more on that a little later. We checked in and rested a bit before driving down to the Hard Rock Cafe Hotel & Casino for some lunch and souvenirs for the kiddies back home. I had a Hurricane & a Creole Sandwich (apparently a New Orleans theme to that meal) and both were delicious. Here are some pictures of the Cafe.

As you walk in, you know they mean business...

Jimi portrait, his cloak, and a burnt guitar

All Is One

Entertainment for the evening was to see the world famous Crazy Girls burlesque show at the Riviera. I had seen this show about five years ago when I was a wee lad and there were fond memories of it, so Bubbles, my dad, & I got some Preferred tickets and enjoyed the show after a little gambling to get us in the mood. The show's a great mix of comedy, sex, magic, sex, boobs, music, and sex...and was well worth the price of admission in my opinion. Oh...and by the way, Bubbles was absolutely stunning in her outfit. She didn't want her picture taken...but this is about the closest to the magnitude of hotness that I could find...and it still doesn't do justice...

After the show, we decided to show my dad the Fremont Street Experience (which apparently had a different meaning last time my dad was here thirty years ago) and it's one of my & Bubbles' favorite spots to party. However, about a million other people had the same idea because the place was packed tight with rednecks due to a huge Sugarland concert right in the middle of Fremont Street. We got out of there quickly because it was too drunken crazy...and some of us under six feet tall were claustrophobic. We drove back towards the Strip...but honestly, we were all sapped...and I wanted to leave something for my dad to take my stepmom to when they come down...like the Fountains at Bellagio and the sort...so we just called it a night out of sheer laziness.

We got back to the room and to wind down, we flipped through the channels and found...Snakes on a Plane. Not sure if I mentioned this before...but though I gave this movie the Flush It on my Sam Jackson movie list, I had never seen it. Based on premise alone, I gave it a Flush It...so I thought that I'd give it a chance...and it remains my Flush It. The story is...ridiculous. There was a nice nudity shot of an incredibly hot blonde about to renew her membership into the Mile High Club...but then they threw in the snakes...and it just got stupider, until I figured it was a sign to go to bed.

Day 5

I woke up around 9 AM fully refreshed and stumbled upon "The Truman Show" while I waited for the several hour process of my dad to get ready. I really like this show...and for those of you who don't know, it's about a man named Truman (Jim Carrey) who stars in his own reality show constantly 24 hours a day...and he has since birth...and has never known it. Seriously, you should check it out. It's Jim Carrey craziness mixed in with a deep meaning of life, entertainment, love, the unknown, the controlled, and a bunch of other things. As I watched it, I found myself kind of wondering...what if I were in that situation? All I had known and believed was just some clever scheme to keep me from experiencing the world...and get good ratings & ad revenue. Sometimes I think like that...like, if I were watching my life happening on TV, what would I be yelling at the screen as an observer?

For example, let's say I'm trying to pick up a girl at a bar...and I use one of my clever lines to sneak a seat next to her and get a smile out of her. would I think I were smooth? "Nice line, jackass. Hopefully she's a teacher and thinks your awkwardness is cute...like one of her six-year olds is hitting on her." Anyway, that frame of mind got me thinking...from on observer's perspective, am I really using my time on this planet wisely? Could I be doing more? If so, what? Is Vegas really the place for me to go? Am I just making a brash life-changing decision just to make a brash life-changing decision? Or is it really what I want to do? It's kind of like being my own critic / parent...but the more that I think about it, the more that I think this is the way it's supposed to be. Everything happens for a reason...and everything seems to be pushing me towards Vegas...if not just for a few years while I'm still unattached and can enjoy the carefree lifestyle and live life to the fullest...in a setting basically the exact opposite of where I was raised (Utah). Anyway, Truman Show's a great flick. Check it out. It's more entertaining than one of my rants.

After checking out, my dad & I met up with Bubbles for an $11.99 Champagne Brunch at Fiesta Henderson Casino. It was delicious. They had American, Italian, Chinese, Mongolian, Soul Food, Seafood (including buckets of Crab Legs), Baked Goods, Desserts all around, and anything your heart desires really. We had good fun...and I even had a Fortune Cookie that read something like "Tomorrow you will be full of great ideas" and nothing really happened yesterday that was incredibly creative...but whatever. We had a good time playing with our food and enjoying the sweet sweet meat of crab...and washing it down with chocolate cake & mimosas. Afterwards, we gambled a bit because Bubbles & I always have fun playing the slots (Wheel of Fortune if we can) and she knew that I didn't want to spend too much time alone with my dad (talking in those above conversations for five days now) and we had a great time and eventually hugged goodbye. Thanks for everything, Bubbles. It was great to see you again.

Dad wanted to go to the In & Out Burger to get some souvenirs for people back home (since we had just eaten a buffet, so no burger & animal style fries) then we hung out at the Orleans Casino for a while just to escape the heat reaching up to 110 degrees now. I played some Roulette and basically ended up losing six bucks...but got two glasses of ice cold water in exchange. I felt like I had broken even.

Long story short, after that, we filled up the rental car's gas tank, gave it back, got on the flight and went home. Along the way, my dad got a little obnoxious and we got in one of our conversations about the small airplane that we were taking back (since it was an hour flight).

Dad: "Is THAT our plane? It looks small, doesn't it?"
$teve: "It's a regional flight."
Dad: "Right?"
$teve: "Yeah, it's a smaller plane."
Dad: "WHAT?"
$teve: "Yes. (F**k)"
Dad: "I mean...THAT'S a plane (pointing at a 757) but THIS is a baby, right?"
$teve: "They're perfectly safe. Don't be scared, dad."
Dad: "What?"
$teve: "Don't worry dad. You'll be safe."
Dad: "Oh, I know...but still...it's just a little plane."
$teve: "And we've got front row seats with extra leg room. I'll take the window."
Dad: "What? (Grunt) LOOK AT THAT GIRL!!! (Sitting two seats away at the airport, so she obviously heard my dad and chose to ignore) That's a hot girl, right?"
$teve: "Yup, she's certainly a beautiful woman."
Dad: "WHAT?"
$teve: "Yup. Hey look at mountains (like he's a kid)."
Dad: "You should go talk to her."
$teve: "I'm sure that she can hear us just fine, dad. (She laughed a little)"
Dad: "What?"
$teve (do you see how frustrating this week was?): "(Silence)"
Dad: "I would have at your age."
$teve: "I know...and you had a wife and two kids at my age, dad. Let it go, alright?"
Dad: "What?"
$teve: "(F**k me!!!) I'll be back. I'm going to the bathroom."
Dad: "Okay!!! Hope it all goes well." (He heard the bathroom thing the first time, that's why I remember it...because it was so odd)
$teve: "It always does."

By the time I got back from the bathroom, the lovely woman was gone...so I assume she got a little fed up or something too. Like I said, I love my dad...but he gets irritating after a while...and he doesn't mean to, he just does. Oh...and during the flight, he had his Walkman (yes, original Walkman) on and was singing along to "Dark Side of the Moon" while I was trying to nod off because my head was basically at an angle on the wall anyway because of the small plane window seat...and he was pretty loud and nudged me pretty sturdily every few seconds wanting me to join in singing. Wasn't really in that kind of a mood, so I passed. Anyway, we stopped by Taco Bell telling my stepmom all about the tripe, made it home, thanked each other for the great trip...and I went home ready to sleep like a log...or so I thought.

I got back home around 11 PM and my apartment was HOT!!! I had just come from 110 degree Vegas...and my apartment was making me sweat more...so I tried to find out why. My heater was turned down...but apparently it was just a hot day here in Utah and I had all my windows closed with no fan or anything on (it was in the fifties when I left). After about an hour of checking the oven, opening windows, turning on fans, and whatever else I could do to cool the house down, I got a call from Bubbles. "How much do you love me?" "Is this a trick question?" "(Laugh) You know that you're my best friend in the whole wide world, right?" "(Sigh) Of course I do...but I'd like to hear you say it again before you tell me what you need me to do." "Well, you are my bestest friend in the whole wide world...and I was wondering if you could do me a huge favor...and let my mom crash at your house for the night."

Apparently, her mom & her mom's boyfriend had a fight, so her mom was standing out in the cold (still 80 degrees) and needed a place to stay the night before her other daughter could come pick her up. "She's not drunk or high or anything, is she?" "No, but you're the only person that can help me out...and I know that it's a lot to ask...but would ya?" "(Sigh) You know that I will. Wait, where is she?" "Not exactly sure...but I'll find out and call you back." She was about a mile away...so that was great. I picked her up (and all of her stuff, that filled up my car pretty good), took her to my place, gave her a cranberry juice & vodka nightcap, let her use the shower, made her laugh a little, and she had full couch, bar, & fridge privileges. They were ever so grateful...and I spent the next morning hanging with her, watching "Home Improvement" and stuff until her other daughter came and picked her up. It was the least that I could do for a good friend like Bubbles...and I hope that her mom gets her life back on track as soon as possible. She's a sweetie...and I think she likes me too...but she just doesn't seem to have the willpower...but hopefully that'll change quickly. She's too nice of a person to be miserable. Pray for her, would y'all? I'd consider it a personal favor if you did.

Anyway, that was my latest Vegas adventure. Sorry if it was a little long-winded and philosophical for ya instead of drunken & debaucherous...but it was what it was. What happens in Vegas, usually stays there...so be darn happy that I gave ya this much. I'll keep you posted on the job and what becomes of it...and I hope that you all had a wonderful time while I was gone. Also, if I don't see ya before you go, have a happy & safe Memorial Day Weekend!!! Have a great night everybody!!!