Something Stupid

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Really not much to talk about since last night. I was awakened by my mom calling me to see if I could pick her up at the airport. I work late…but she may be taking a taxi here to see me tomorrow (so I can drive her home during my lunch). I think she just misses me. Moms are like that…and I don't mind at all. So if any of you want to meet the Legend, and are going to be at work tomorrow around my lunchtime, let me know. I can arrange a meeting. Feel free to tell her how cool I am…and she may tell you some silly story about me. I will deny everything…that isn't true. Now for some real news…


Happy Birthday, Mr. Chairman!!! - Today would be the 92nd birthday of one of the greatest voices in music, Francis Albert Sinatra. Most knew him as a legendary singer and leader of the Rat Pack that helped make Vegas what it is today…but he also won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his part in "From Here to Eternity" in 1954 and was the original Danny Ocean in the Ocean's 13 movies. As you can probably guess by my love for lounge music, old time pop hits, and overall great music, I have a vast collection of "Ol' Blue Eyes" hits and it's ever growing. The man simply did too much for me to even start to brag about…so I've offered you the Wikipedia link and a fan site link to read about it if you're interested. I also have a poster of him at my house that was given to me by the lovely & talented Julie, currently residing in the 7th ring of Hell a.k.a. Phoenix. In 1938, a 23-year old Francis Sinatra was arrested at a New Jersey bar in Bergen County. The charges…carrying on with a married woman. This mug shot was taken, the charge was later changed to adultery, then eventually dropped…and thus started the legendary career of Frank Sinatra, Chairman of the Board. Rest In Peace, sir. Big ups to my lovely black friend Julie too!!!

Happy Birthday Bobby!!! - Today is also the 84th birthday of TV legend Bob Barker, who retired from "The Price Is Right!" earlier this year. He was last seen on the golf course playing in a charity golf tournament with Adam Sandler. Allegedly a fight broke out between the two when Sandler swung for a quadruple bogie in the 6th hole, punches & head butts were exchanged, Barker walked away victorious. Sandler later publicly apologized…and Barker responded with "You're damn right you're sorry!!!" More on this developing story…

Passing of a Legend - Rock & Blues musician, producer, and founder of the National Organization of Women (according to his autobiographical movie "What's the Truth Got To Do With It?") Ike Turner died early today at his San Marcos, California home. Many will only remember Ike Turner as the alleged wifebeater of Tina Turner (best legs in show business over 80) but he really was a pioneer in bringing Rock & Roll into the forefront of popular culture. I blame Laurence Fishburne for his tattered image by playing Turner in Tina Turner's autobiographical movie "What's Love Got To Do With It?" I blame you Morpheus. You...and cocaine. As his longtime friend (and co-founder of NOW) Rick James would have told you, "Cocaine is a hell of a drug." Oh yeah, no comment yet on what the cause of death is. My guess - Heart attack due to high blood pressure...and a lifetime full of drugs. RIP Ike. You and your boy Rick James are together again...singing "Love Gravy" in the sky. Let us pray that it doesn't rain.


Why there's a giant hole in the middle of Utah - At Rockefeller Center in New York City, the Common Cents non-profit organization held their 17th annual charity Penny Harvest and accumulated over 100 million pennies (copper probably from the Kennecott Krater that's visible from space here in Utah) and a few stray nickels & dimes totaling over $1 million. The exhibit will on display near the world-famous Rockefeller Christmas Tree and measures 30 feet by 165 feet, as long as a city block. After the display comes down at the end of the year, the pennies will be donated to causes such as protecting the environment and helping the elderly…my guess by either creating a thin layer of copper to protect us from the hole in the ozone or by making fantastically shiny walkers. Oh…and by the way Mr. Homeless Man, I was lying. I did have change...the whole time. Want proof? Go down to 50th Street and 6th Avenue. It's the Roc!!! Holla!!!


Crap Trap - From 100 million pennies to 100 hours in the Crapper, we go across the Pond to where a retired Scottish school teacher was apparently trapped inside the lavatory of a lawn bowling club near Aberdeen. The door jammed and the hand on the outside fell off. Now, on my flight back from Barcelona last month, I was trapped momentarily because the little nub in the inside of the lavatory broke off…but luckily a swift kick on the locking mechanism jogged that baby open. This however…was no sky high lavatory with a lovely stewardess nearby for assistance. This was a frozen outdoor lavatory at a Scottish lawn bowling club (apparently not as popular as it once was). For nearly four days, 55-year old David Leggat kept warm by dipping his feet in warm water from the sink and only managed about three hours of sleep each night until the winter cleaner turned up to collect her cleaning equipment. The best part…in typical Scottish fashion, Leggat was quoted as saying "At least there was a toilet to use. The only thing I regret is not getting trapped behind the bar." Gotta love those Scots!!!


Forget Jetblue, Just Ride Balloons - Sadly, 39-year old West High school teacher Stephanie Bernritter lost her battle with leukemia last month. On November 30th, hundreds of former students tied messages of love & respect to balloons and placed them around the football stadium…but a few escaped, including some from her widowed husband, Kevin Van der Merwe. This last week, Michael Beadle was deer hunting in South Dakota when he found an oddly colorful sight, a bunch of balloons. Going against his natural carnivalistic instinct of shooting at them in hopes they would pop, he decided not to…and investigated further (also so as not to scare the deer away). He noticed letters attached to the balloons…and this sparked his interest. He then went home, googled the name on most of the letters, and learned of the teacher's death. He then called to notify her husband…and I'm assuming returned the letters. The balloons traveled 900 miles from Slick City to Onaka, South Dakota. Awesome. I can't wait for the Disney movie. Maybe they'll let me write it…especially if this writer's strike keeps going. Anyway, it's a heartwarming tale that we can all enjoy this Holiday season.


Criminals Is So Stupid Sometimes - In Elmwood Park, New Jersey, when a robber started taking cash from his register over the weekend, Dunkin' Donuts employee Dustin Hoffmann fought back by clobbering the robber with a ceramic mug. But Hoffmann admits he was less worried about the stolen cash than how he might look on the video-sharing site YouTube. "What was going through my mind at that point was that the security tape is either going to show me run away and hide in the office or whack this guy in the head, so I just grabbed the cup and clocked the guy pretty hard," Hoffmann told The Record of Bergen County (where Sinatra was arrested 69 years earlier, remember?). This sort of an odd story…but it begs a few questions such as:

• Has everybody become obsessed with their image on the internet?


• Was Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium really that big of a flop?


• Wouldn't you think Dustin Hoffman could get a better job than at Dunkin' Donuts?


• What kind of ceramic mix is that mug made out of?


• Where on YouTube is this video? I'm going there TONIGHT!!!
  
  

Anyway, I guess that's enough for tonight. Rock Band is awesome. I completed the Solo Tour on Easy earlier this morning. Now, I move on to Medium. Other than that, just another day at work to go through. Have a groovy night everybody!!!

P.S. Quick story to leave on a happy note (and confirm that I may very well be crazy). I landed at the airport coming back from Dallas last week. I had just turned my phone on to call my dad for a ride and get messages, then made a V-cut for the urinals. While relieving myself of excess fluids, my phone goes off because a text message is coming in...and suddenly "Slow Jamz" by Twista is going off in my pocket. The man in the urinal next to me looks at me awkwardly...and without hesitation, I reply "That means he's happy." Zipped up...and walked away. Good night everybody, I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress!!!