Whattayu Wanna Do With Your Life???

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yesterday was spent up at my brother's house with his lovely family. Both nieces were there…and for the first time in a while, so was the sister-in-law. She didn't have to work. Yay!!! The whole family could hang out. We used this show called "Camp Lazlo" to distract the kids while we talked about…whatever. I'm starting to realize that I really have to watch what I say around my nieces nowadays, especially Kairi, because they're starting to be able to mimic the sometimes horrible things that come out of my mouth. I'm not as bad as my brother…and he's learned to watch it a little bit…but, well, you've read the blog. There's really no filter other than what is handed down by the FCC and other governing bodies…and there jurisdiction is somewhere out in the front yard of my brother's house. I mean, even the last entry, Kairi mimicked my motorboating…now, God forbid, she may actually learn what it is before her time…because of my carelessness. Not necessarily a horrible thing, but not a horribly necessary thing either. This really dawned on me when we were talking and the conversation somehow involved saying "Boat boat" (I think Kelaudri said something crazy…and we were asking her what she meant) and Kairi's standing in my lap bouncing around…and yells back "Boat boat!!!" I was stunned…because I've heard her say "Dada" and "Mama" and "Bye bye" and stuff like that…and I guess the next natural step in this double-sound reiteration was "Boat boat" but it just caught me off guard. I think my brother sensed the shock on my face as I stared at my niece's cute, giggling face. Need some examples, I thought you might like that. Here ya go…

Not close enough? How about now?

My brother & I did do a little Christmas shopping (looking for the Baby Alive doll with a penis). We went to Wal-Mart, Toys R Us, and Target…and we found some but they were all girls. It was like looking through a Chinese Adoption Clinic. No luck whatsoever. I honestly told him to just suck it up and pay the ransom prices that people are asking for on eBay…or just get something else. So to calm our frustrated selves down (that's my story) we decided to go to Best Buy and see what was going down for presents over there. We saw that they had a demo display for "Rock Band", the next step of the Guitar Hero saga…but instead of just guitar, it has drums and a microphone as well…so the whole family can rock out to classic rock songs from "Mississippi Queen" to "Creep" to "Roxanne." I fell for it like a blind man running ladders at football practice. I was hooked…so I did the only logical thing…and bought it (thanks largely to a series of discounts and rebates for being so fly).

So my brother & I set it up as the nieces tried their best to spill juices and destroy and/or lose all the little pieces while our backs were turned…so we took shifts doing lookout while the other constructed (fairly simple) and before long, we had formed a band called "Dragons" (best on short notice & just wanting to play quickly) and we made our own characters - $teve DeSexy, Kiel DeSexy, and Tink DeSexy (my sister-in-law) and they didn't think my idea of "DeSexy Dragons" was Goth enough or something…so we were just Dragons. We did really good with Tink singing, Kiel on drums, and me on the lead guitar…and man, do I look DeSexy when I'm rocking a guitar solo. I may have to send you pictures when/if they're ever taken. These pictures are from the worldwide web. Hailing from Amsterdam (Slick City wasn't an option), we average about four stars a performance (on Easy, of course) and I was scoring around 97% on guitar, mid-90s on vocals for Tink, and my brother was doing high 80's on drums…but those are probably the hardest to do. I tried it one song and got 81% on "Roxanne", not too bad for a first time…but I like the guitar…and vocals for songs I know. I can't wait for "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey…or some badass Metallica songs to unlock or download or something.

So yeah, Rock Band is awesome…and I play on going on the road (online) to get fans if needed…and I'd hope that some of you might be interested, so let me know if you'd like to be a DeSexy Dragon groupie and/or roadie. We do a mean "Wanted Dead or Alive" too. I also may be considering a New Year's Eve party or something (if I'm not working until 1 AM that night) so let me know if you'd be interested in that too. We'll rock out with our…clocks out…to see when it's midnight. Whew…that was close.

Today at work, we had a Holiday party…and we had a nice potluck lunch (cost effective AND delicious) and then had a Gingerbread House building contest. One of the best parts was the wait for the thing to start...because I sat in a corner of a square table...and then all the blonde hotties sat next to me to chat. I was like the Hugh Hefner of the table. I should've been wearing a robe or something. Anyway, my construction crew used only the kits and creativity that God (and the managers) gave us…and what resulted was the worst-smelling gingerbread house this side of Jersey. Word of advice - If you don't have food coloring for your frosting…and think that ketchup would help make a nice pink…and mustard a nice yellow, it will…but you'll be smelling vinegar, lots of vinegar. Yeah, we didn't win the contest…but damn it, we had fun…and that's what counts. I wanted to go with a more Gaudi inspired gingerbread house…but we didn't have time (or skill) so it basically looked like there was a Candylandslide on top of a house covered in yellow snow (probably from reindeer) and droopy faced people writing their names on the lawn. Yeah, I think the judging was rigged too. Now for the news…

G.I. Joe just got cool!!! - Okay, there's still this theory that a G.I. Joe movie is going to be made and that Stephen Sommers ("Mummy") is directing and Marky Mark is playing the lead. I've mentioned a few theories on this movie before for possible actors like Jason Statham as Destro and others…but they've apparently cast one of the main cool characters, Snake Eyes. Who gets to play this mysterious ninja who is romantically involved with the voluptuous redhead Scarlett (Scarlett Johannsen maybe?)? None other than Ray Park. Who's Ray Park? He's the actor that played Toad in the original X-Men movie and Darth Maul in Episode I. It's obviously the perfect role for him…because he's trained in the martial arts and acrobatics…and he doesn't speak much (probably dubbed by Laurence Fishburne or something anyway). So it's official, Snake Eyes is going to be in the movie. Any movie with Ninjas CANNOT suck. Period. Look it up.

The Saint Redundancy - Since they've decided not to do any more Jason Bourne movies (for now), they're planning on doing another "Saint" movie. Please don't think that I'm complaining…because I love the Saint (any movie where I get to see some Elisabeth Shue is GREAT). In the past, the role of Simon Templar has been played by James Bond (Roger Moore) and Batman (Val Kilmer) but now it will be played by Marc Antony. No, not J-Lo's hubby, James Purefoy of HBO's series"Rome". I'll probably watch it when it comes out. I'm a sucker for secret agent / master of disguise movies (except for Dana Carvey's "Master of Disguise"). It could be good.

Well, I may have to stop there for the day. I don't want to talk about Michael Vick being sentenced to 23 months for his dogfighting or Tim Tebow winning the Heisman (and the hearts of America) or anything sports related (yes, the Eagles lost AGAIN). I hope that you all are doing your Christmas shopping and getting that out of the way. Again, if you're interested in a New Year's Eve party at my place…let me know. Remember…Rock Band…booze, together. I'll see if I can get "Free Bird" downloaded or something. Have a groovy day!!!