The Next Step

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yesterday was an interesting day at work. Well, not really. I get frustrated about certain aspects of my job...and the only thing that can save me is my Mute Button when talking to people on the phone. Don't get me wrong, I like my job...and I do it tremendously. However, there are a few things that I don't like to do...and among those is repeat myself...a lot...and have to adjust to usual speech patterns to something that sounds retarded just so that you understand me Ms. Duluth Georgia. "Could you spell that for me?" Then they continue to use the four sounds that apparently in her deck of the woods constitute 26 separate letters in the English alphabet. "Ee, ugh, ee, ee, ah, ee, (slurp), ep." "I'm sorry...ugh, could you use it in a sentence? Definition? Country of origin?" So after ten busy hours of that...I wasn't in the best mood. So yeah, I like my job...but I wanna take the next step...in a new place like Vegas (even though it feels like Sisyphus pushing that boulder up the hill). Why take the next step? I've found from experience that just because you're a great f**k doesn't mean that you have to remain a porn star. Sometimes you wanna direct, produce, get the money as well as the honey, the next step.

Sometimes you just lose that feeling that you used to get by doing a fantastic job & being adequately rewarded. Sometimes you just need to try something new to keep your creative side satisfied. Sometimes you feel like the only reason you haven't moved on already is because you're quite talented at entertaining yourself & others with your delusionally optimisitic views...and you're just too damn lazy and/or afraid to make the move. Sometimes the money that you make is "good enough" for the work that you do. Slowly but surely, time goes by...and though you have many wonderful adventures along the way, you look back, and have to question decisions made along the way. Sometimes you sit at home some mornings and watch Samantha Brown travel through Latin America, Europe, Asia, and a bunch of other places that you haven't been (even a few that you spent a day at) and think "Why don't I have my own show on the Travel Channel?" I don't wanna be satisfied right now. I don't wanna be complacent. I want to have the Passion that I used to have when doing my job & not feel like I'm wasting my time for a fistful of dolla dolla bills y'all (Though when moved from fists to a pocket or bank account is nice to have around).

I want to try new things, see the world, make a few bucks along the way, spread the Love, do stuff that when I blog about it won't bore you to tears like my incessent bitching, and if it's not asking too much...maybe have a gorgeous nympho waiting for me when I get home. High goals? Well, when you shoot for the stars, sometimes you get the Moon. I believe it was the Taoist philosopher Lao Tzu (pictured riding a mechanical bull) who said, "Love is of all Passions the strongest, for it attacks the head, the heart, and the senses (and the groin)." By the way, is he related to "Art of War" author Sun Tzu? Maybe I'm just suffering from Love deprivation...and it's effecting my outlook of work. Maybe I'm just frustrated in oh so many ways so everything's getting to me (my God, it has been over a year). Oh well, at least Karma comes back around...and I do have great friends & family to keep my spirits up. For example, in the heart of my trying day at work yesterday, here's what happened...

As mentioned yesterday, we had visitors at work and they were giving away the fabulous prize of a $75 Gas Card (a little over a tank for Brandy or Baby) for filling out a quiz about their company. Took like two minutes to do, so I did it. About an hour later, I'm doing my job...and while maintaining a professional voice, am getting frustrated with a customer who doesn't understand that Georgia is a big state, not a city, so I need to know where within Georgia they were curious about...so when they weren't comprehending this, I used my Mute button and express my opinion of this person using a somewhat vulgar tone & language. I then notice a shadow over me...and there were a total of EIGHT managers (including the three visitors) standing behind me. Luckily, they were laughing a bit...because I'm charming...and they heard me continue to explain to the customer the geography behind my query. When that call was over, I apologized for the language...and they presented me with the Gas Card. YAY!!! I'm not fired...and I have a tank of gas in my hand. YAY!!!

After that, Brooklyn was working late with me...and had a brilliant suggestion to go to Green Street and have a few drinks after work and play Buzztime Trivia. So I stuck around work (though I wasn't getting paid) to hang with her for an hour & keep the late night crew entertained as usual...then we headed to the bar, had a few Red Stripes (special for $2 a bottle), I lost my ass in trivia (no movie or sports questions, mostly literature & obscure history), and then headed home. Good times. Gonna have to do that again sometime. See? Though I may feel a little bummed sometimes, I know that I have great people to cheer me up...and Karma comes back around, so I just have to keep up the positive thoughts...and then through the power of the Cosmos, my nympho will present herself...or you know, whatever Karma decides to give me...though if Karma's interested, I could make a list or something to help out. Anyway, here's some news...

Soccer Strikes Again - Spain's success at Euro 2008 hurt attendance at an erotic film festival which wrapped up Saturday in Madrid as its target audience (horny men a.k.a. men) were glued to their television screens to watch the national soccer team. About 15,000 people flocked to the three-day International Erotic Film Festival of Barcelona (FICEB), staged for the first time in the Spanish capital this year since it started being held in 1992 (remember those Olympics? The Real Dream Team?). Over 60 firms were represented at this year's edition of the film festival which featured live sex shows and an awards ceremony for different categories of pornographic films. Previous editions of the event, which features performances by buxom strippers and appearances by top porn stars, have drawn over 50,000 people. FICEB director Juli Simon blamed the lower-than-expected turnout on the fact that the festival's opening day coincided with Spain's 3-0 Euro 2008 semi-final win over Russia which drew a record Spanish television audience of 17 million. "Football is one of the few things that can compete with sex." Really? I mean...don't get me wrong, I love basketball...but given the chance to see the Spurs play even the 1972 Lakers...and get cockteased by Spanish-speaking porn stars, you can bet that 10 times out of 10 that I'm going to FICEB and offer some "mosca espanaya" if that's how you say Spanish fly in Spanish. Silly me took German in high school for some reason. As mentioned during my travels in Barcelona, Spanish is just sexy. For example, I watched "Pan's Labyrinth" in theatres last year & apparently I misunderstood a few things about the movie beforehand. "What the...it's in Spanish? Oh man, now I have to read subtitles. Holy Christ!!! Did that dude's throat just get sliced open? What the hell kind of kid's show is this? Oh my, now the mother is having a miscarriage or something & writhing in pain...moaning in Spanish...uh-oh. Why am I getting aroused by this? There's blood...and she's obviously in pain...but it's...just so sexy. This is gonna be really awkward when David Bowie & those Muppets finally show up in the movie."

Sexbot Update - Soft and squishy chemical robots will one day squeeze through tight spots then expand to 10 times larger, offering an advantage over rigid robots. Once a mission is complete, a chembot would biodegrade. The chembots could get into a building through a crack, for example. They could explore a cave or crevice and dismantle an explosive...or they might climb ropes, wires or trees. Another tiny idea: One chembot could pack a smaller chembot into a situation, then release it for even more minute explorations. Researchers at Tufts University in Medford, MA have received a $3.3 million contract from the U.S. Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) to build the soft automatons. ChemBots represent "the convergence of soft materials chemistry and robotics. It is an entirely new way of looking at robots and could someday yield great technological advantage for our armed forces," said Mitchell Zakin, who oversees the program for DARPA. You may be asking, "$teve, how does this constitute a Sexbot Update?" Well, according to this information, there may be inflatable sexbots (or sexbot parts) that can squish into tiny crevasses, nooks, and crannies...then expand...and eventually disintegrate. I don't want to go into incredible detail on this PG-13 blog...but sounds like a little something for the ladies may be on the way...or at the very least, the ability to collapse and conceal your sexbot into a small area of your home. We shall see in the future...for as the Amazing Criswell once said, "We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my friends, future events such as these will affect you in the future."

Anyway, that'll do it for me today. Meetings at work today...then I have Thursday off, which is awesome...because then I work late on Friday & Saturday to celebrate the holidays. It should be fun though. I'm sure that I'll make due. Have a great day everybody...and if I don't see you by then, have a great 4th of July weekend!!! YAY AMERICA!!!

Smokin' Cigarettes & Watching Captain Kangaroo

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, the work situation keeps getting ever so deeper...as it appears that the next time I'll be able to certify will be in August some time...then I can apply (if the job's still there), then they can take a few weeks to call me back, then when they realize that they've wanted me for a while now...they offer me a job, I move down there...if I choose them over the originally intended employer, who may be hiring again by that time. What does it mean? I get to miss the Vegas summer which isn't all that bad...but it also means that it's going to be a total of six months for this single guy with a great work ethic & not a whole lot of attachments just to get a job in Vegas. Thanks Bush!!! How many days do you have left?

Last night, I decided to add a little treat for my fans...by adding my little playlist thing from my MySpace account here so that you have some merry tunes while reading my gibberish. It's not a complete list of awesomeness...but it has some classics, some hip-hop, and Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine, which is always goodtime lounge music. Also, if you're wondering how to change the track (or just turn it off), it's on the right sidebar towards the bottom.

Luckily, I got off work a little early yesterday...but couldn't go straight to sleep as intended because my house was too hot. So I turned on the swamp cooler, turned on the TV, and watched "Love Potion No. 9" starring Tate Donovan & Sandra Bullock (and Adrian Paul as an Italian car company owner & Dylan Baker as Prince of England briefly). I really like this movie...because it's quite ridiculous & funny for an early 90's romantic comedy. It's about a pair of scientists who meet up with a psychic downtown...and are given a special potion that when diluted & drank, will cause the opposite sex to fall in Love with simply by hearing your voice. They test it on monkeys first (of course) but it rings true...so they decide to test it out on humans...and oh yeah, it works. As probably guessed, the girl use it to get diamond necklaces & become a princess while the guy took it to the bars & sorority houses. Anyway, the guy then realizes that he loves Sandra Bullock (can't blame him) and it goes from there. I say check it out. It's a great cheesy funny heartwarming flick from the year of '92.

After that, I went to bed for about ten hours...and just woke up a few minutes ago. I'm over my sun sickness now. Long day at work today and we have a visitor so I have to dress up...but it's all good...because I look gooooood in a suit. Believe it or not. Anyway, here's the news...

Statler Brothers Honored - The country/gospel group The Statler Brothers have been inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame. The Statler Brothers were first hired as a vocal backing group by the late great Johnny Cash. They had their first hit in 1965 with "Flowers on the Wall." They had several more Top 40 hits through the 1970s and 1980s, including "The Class of '57," "Do You Know You Are My Sunshine" and "I'll Go to My Grave Loving You." Also, some of my other favorites include "Susan When She Tries", "Bed of Roses", and "Whatever Happened to Randolph Scott?" Harold Reid says the honor makes their career worthwhile. "It wraps up everything you did. Every song you wrote. Every performance you did. Every TV show. Everything that we did that made a contribution to the business. They looked at us and said thank you for the contribution. It doesn't get any better than that." Another great thing about these guys is that they dedicated their Greatest Hits album to their wives. Tell me that's not the sweetest thing ever. You won't hear about Motley Crue doing something like that. Congratulations to the Statler Brothers…and if you ever want to hear some of their merry ditties…all you need to do is ask.

Mini-Me Has a Sextape Now? - From wholesome music to celebrity porn, thus is my existence…and therefore my blog. Actor Verne Troyer (Mini-Me in "Austin Powers") has successfully shut down the distribution of a sex tape featuring him & a former girlfriend. The celebrity Web site TMZ posted a 25-second snipped of the video Wednesday, but pulled the clips down Friday evening after a federal judge granted a temporary restraining order requested by Troyer's attorneys. The ruling prevents any attempt by a porn distributor from taking orders for the full 50-minute video, and keeps TMZ from broadcasting any more clips. Troyer's lawsuit also seeks $20 million in damages and the return of all copies of the tape. TMZ reported that the video could fetch $100,000 from a porn distributor. Really? That's it? I think a more realistic number would be about a million if Mr. Troyer wants to distribute it. Honestly though, unless he's diving in there head-first and wiggling like a salmon going upstream, or his former girlfriend is Megan Fox, then I'm not really interested in seeing the movie. However, there is a niche market for that kind of thing. I've seen the Pam Anderson - Tommy Lee tape. If I had the opportunity to see the Kim Kardashian tape, I wouldn't turn it down (unless the offer came from somebody creepy). I've even seen little people in porn before. Even when you stop laughing, it still isn't sexy. I guess my point is…there are certain celebrities that most people WANT to see in sex tapes…and then there's Mini-Me, who a few people want to see. Mr. Troyer, if you don't want your tape distributed, then I say do everything you can to forbid it (call Kim Kardashian's dad, he has some experience in this field…and he got O.J. off) but if you want to make a few bucks…then don't settle for less than will satisfy you. Can't wait until I have a celebrity sextape. All I need now is celebrity status…and maybe a partner. That's what I'm waiting to see on TMZ next…is a video of somebody like Daniel Radcliffe masturbating or something. "Check out this footage of the Harry Potter actor's sextape…with himself. This was sent to us by a former stagehand who found this footage when Mr. Radcliffe thought he had found a solitary bathroom…but it was actually a set for a new teen comedy. The stagehand then compiled it into a ten-minute video using the various angles…and yes, the audio is excellent. Viewidus Erectus!!! Available at TMZ.com."

What Is It With Germans & Feces? - Wednesday evening, two women entered a farm in the northern village of Eberholzen and started to fill the stockings with manure to make what the article calls "Manure bombs." A police spokesperson said, "One of them slipped into the manure tank, right into the cow muck. The other one helped her out. We found their clothes in a field. One seems to have run off completely naked, the other in her underwear." Police said it was unclear what the women had intended to do with the "manure bombs," but added the incident could be linked to victory celebrations surrounding the Euro 2008 semi-finals on Wednesday evening, when Germany beat Turkey 3-2. "The women can get their clothes back from the local police station -- unwashed." Maybe blog reader Ruben (who is now a local celebrity after being in the local online paper with his new car) can shed some light on these seemingly ridiculous celebration methods…but wow, Germans really like poop. I've seen…er, heard of those videos on the internet. That ain't fudge. I've seen your Hasselhoff. Who is he to judge talent? Now you celebrate your soccer victories with these "Manure Bombs"? That's not the sweet smell of Victory. Actually…now that I think about it…it's really not that weird. Maybe I’m exaggerating a bit. However, if I were to do such an unbelievable things as exaggerate…why are the police keeping the clothes at the station? Unwashed? Either it's a clever ploy to draw out the fecafanatics…or somebody just likes the aroma in the evidence room.

South Beach is Awesome!!! - On Wednesday, police said that a "brothel bus" that detectives said cruised Miami Beach offering lap dances and drinks has taken its last ride. The sleek black bus cruised the South Beach neighborhood popular among tourists and club-goers, offering rides and unlimited drinks for $40. Riders were then offered oral sex for $100, according to Miami Beach police who impounded the limousine bus and arrested its operator early last Sunday. While aboard, undercover detectives (the lucky ones) said they found a fully stocked bar and several young women who stripped down to reveal G-strings stuffed with cash and offered to perform sex acts. Suspected operator Christine Morteh, 29, was arrested on charges of offering to commit prostitution, transportation for the purpose of prostitution and operating a business without a license. She was released from jail on $5,000 bond (50 BJs). I've been to South Beach a few times in my life…but I must have been hanging in the wrong area. Would I have fallen for the ride, unlimited drinks, and lap dances for $40 plus tips? You bet your ass I would have. BJ for a Benjamin? Probably not…but then again. Oh well, won't have to worry about that moral dilemma anymore…and probably a good thing…because if I were immersed in an environment where prostitution was mainstay, that would probably have a serious impact on my moral barometer. Oh, by the way, did I mention the Vegas situation already today? Don't know why that just popped in my head just now. Yup, looks like I did.

Happy July everybody!!! The year 2008 is already half gone. How's your New Year's Resolution list looking so far? Let's check out mine real quick.

• Travel more...or at least as much - Yeah, still traveling


• Find a good girl who likes me too - Sigh...


• Have more sex...preferably with a woman nearby - Double sigh...


• Pursue another part-time job...maybe as a late night radio DJ - Just trying to get another job in Vegas now


• Play more basketball. I miss our times together - Don't believe I've picked up a basketball yet this year


• Give more to charity & donate time, blood, plasma, sperm, hair, feces, whatever they'll take - Blood a few times & helping with a charity yard sale in a few weeks


• Dance more...preferably with a woman nearby - I have the ability but not a lot of ballroom socials that I'm invited to


• Swear less (now that my nieces & nephews are getting spongier) - I try...and kind of mute myself sometimes...which is really just weird more than anything


• Should I swear off Mountain Dew or something? Like Lent? - I've been drinking MUCH less than I was & a lot more water


• Nah, maybe just eat healthier...or cook more - I'm cooking a little more & eating more veggies and jogging when it's not 100 degrees outside


• Remember JJ - Who? Just kiddin', I may be seeing her in a few weeks instead of seeing the metropolis of Cheyenne, Wyoming


• Smack more asses (a.k.a. More forward with the opposite sex) - Eh, not really...


• Drive my Baby more - Frustrated sigh...


• Most importantly, make sure everybody out there knows how much I love & care for them - I think people out there have a good idea about it...without crossing that threshold of creepiness

That'll do it for today. Gonna clean up around the crib before I head into work. Have a great day everybody...and let me know how those resolutions are coming. Hopefully you've either kept them...or doing something that makes you happy. Peace!!!

Sabrina, Don't Just Stare At It. Eat It.

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Last night, I watched the latest episode of the Venture Brothers (love that show) then went to bed. I had a lot of errands that I needed to run...but really wanted to sleep in...because I needed some rest to get over this bug that I've had the past few days called heat exhaustion. However, if I slept in, that would mean that I'd have to do all of this running around in the heat. So I woke up around 7 AM and by the time I finished polishing my car & running around to get her registered & grocery shopping it was 10:30...and I sat down at my house...and basically passed out. Fifteen minutes later, Brooklyn texted me...but I was already feeling better with my Power Nap. I used to do those ALL the time when I was going to school & had an hour in between class & work...but it had been a while since I really needed one like that. It's also a good thing Brooklyn texted me...because who knows how long I would have slept? Anyway, now I'm at work...and have more stuff to do tomorrow...but I may just have to sleep in & postpone those plans another 24 hours. I needs me some sleep.

Just got into work...and found out why there have been some problems with the new job application. Apparently, I'm no longer certified to be a manager (though I've pretty much been one for the last five years) so I have to do another mass interview (3-4 other managers asking me questions) some time soon. Loads of fun...and it's really odd because I've applied for a lot of internal jobs where I work...and it was never brought up. Explains a lot. Anyway, enough of my bitchin', that's not what you came for. Here's some news.

Slick City Siblings - Sadie and Pyper Vance (brother's name is Bagger) have had just about enough of high gas prices. The sisters are still years away from being old enough to drive, but that doesn't mean the $4 per gallon price tag isn't hitting them as hard as anyone else. Why are they protesting? Their parents had to cut Cable TV to compensate for the cost of gas. The girls marched through downtown Monday chanting and carrying signs made from old campaign signs. "All of my mom's monny goes to the gas tank!" Pyper's sign read. Sadie carried a sign asking drivers to honk to lower gas prices — adding that her mom had to cut "cabel." You know…these kids really aren't aiding their cause. Sure, everybody already knows that gas prices are higher than usual…but they're really just speaking out on illiteracy when misspelling words like "Monny" and "Cabel" on city streets. Maybe it's a good thing that they don't have cable…so they can focus on their studies. "But $teve, it's summer vacation. What else are we supposed to do?" Read a book. Learn an instrument. Play (sigh) soccer. Mow the lawn. Do the dishes. Recycle. Chalk the sidewalk. Plant a garden. Get a job. Go cut me a switch. The possibilities are endless. I admire your spirit, Sadie & Pyper (Seriously? With a Y?) but perhaps you should focus your efforts elsewhere…like finding a solution to this whole gas dependency thing. We could use a fresh new perspective on the subject.

How Golf Should Be - Sure, I have my views about Golf…and have expressed them before. I want there to be a lot of stuff that makes it more exciting both for the fan & the player…but there are a lot of conservatives out there that don't share my view…and I respect that. Sure, high grass with booby traps & shoe-hungry wildlife may not be good for the safety of your shoes. Sand traps with quicksand may lead to lengthy delays as they try to free the golfer from a slow, painful death. Additional water hazards like sprinklers, class three rapids, shaky rope bridges, and alligators may not be necessary. Even your opponent being allowed to count to ten-Mississippi while you're teeing off…before he/she is allowed to tackle you…may seem a little extreme. However, I didn't even consider strippers until this story came out. At the Gold Crown Junior Golf Association tournament Monday, youngsters aged 7 to 12 were just finishing up their rounds when scantily clad women spilled out of a limousine. The women were part of Shotgun Willie's Charity Golf Tournament to benefit breast cancer (the sexy killer). The strippers were to serve as caddies to patrons of the strip club. A club manager said there were 144 golfers and 70 caddies. A woman told KUSA-TV the event drew curious questions from her children, who asked her why the men joining the strippers had water guns and why the women wore only their underwear. Course manager Evelyn Koch says the women were forbidden from going topless and that they were just flirting with the men. "I cannot tell you the girls didn't flash out there but it wasn't a free-for-all." That's what golf needs…partial nudity while raising money for a noble cause. My hat's off to Shotgun Willie's and their groundbreaking tournament. Because it doesn't matter what you shoot, everybody's a winner.

Twin Peaks - An American hiker stranded in the Bavarian Alps for nearly three days was rescued after using her sports bra as a signal. Berchtesgaden police officer Lorenz Rasp said that he helped lift 24-year-old Jessica Bruinsma of Colorado state to safety by helicopter on Thursday after she attracted the attention of lumberjacks by attaching her sports bra to a cable used to move timber down the mountain. "She's a very smart girl, and she acted very resourcefully," said Rasp. "She kept her shirt and jacket for warmth, but thought the sports bra could work as a signal." An Alpine rescue team, including five helicopters and 80 emergency workers, had been searching for Bruinsma since she went missing June 16 after losing her way in bad weather while hiking with a friend near the Austrian border. She fell about sixteen feet to a rocky overhang, where she spent the next 70 hours on the narrow ledge, sustained by water that she found by breaking into a supply box on the ledge. She badly bruised a leg and dislocated a shoulder in the fall, and the cliff was too isolated for her to climb free. "She did so well because she is in very good shape," Rasp said. "She has been training for a marathon (in the Alps?). Her goal is to finish in 3 hours and 10 minutes." Bruinsma told Rasp that she has scrapped plans to stay in Berchtesgaden to learn German and plans to return home to Colorado Springs with her parents. He said she still plans to run the marathon, if she recovers in time to keep training. Wow. Best of luck to you. Just goes to show ladies, taking off your bra may save your life one day. I'm pretty sure that was the moral of the story.

Did you say your name was Buck? - A New Mexico appeals court ruled against a man trying to legally change his name to "F**k Censorship" on Friday. Judge Nan Nash ruled that the proposed name change was "obscene, offensive and would not comport with common decency." Here's a little background on the applicant though. In 2004, there was a similar situation in which the court had to clarify the law when concerning name changes. In that case, it was decided that the man had the right to call himself whatever he wants, unless there's fraud or misrepresentation involved but once he seeks court approval for a name change, the court has the authority to turn him down on several grounds, including if the name is offensive to common decency and good taste. The funny thing is…that it was the same guy who then changed his name from Snaphappy Fishsuit Mokiligon…to simply Variable. Now he was trying to change it from Variable to F**k Censorship. Suddenly Frank Zappa seems like father of the year. I mean…I'm not 100% sure if Snaphappy Fishsuit Mokiligon was the name that his parents gave him…but if so, they need their breeding license taken away.

Ninja Makes the News - Public schools in Barnegat, New Jersey were locked down briefly after someone reported seeing a Ninja running through the woods behind an elementary school. It turns out the ninja was actually a camp counselor dressed in black karate garb and carrying a plastic sword. Police tell the Asbury Park Press the man was late to a costume-themed day at a nearby middle school. I mean…obviously it was a false alarm…because a real ninja wouldn't have been seen…until it was TOO LATE…then vanished without a trace. I truly wish there were more ninjas in the news…but then they wouldn't be ninjas. Real reason for mentioning this…was just so that I could put up a picture of a ninja.

Anyway, that'll do it for today. Please have a wonderful day & enjoy the wonderful weather outside...but drink plenty of water...or else. Just kiddin'...but not really, be safe out there having fun!!!

Surprise, Surprise

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Couple of big surprises yesterday. First, I got a call from Bubbles who works at my future employer...and apparently they announced at a meeting that they are start a hiring freeze until peak season (probably September). Now, I haven't heard anything from the HR director or anything...so it's not official...but more than likely that I may be staying here in Utah for the summer. We shall see. So we were both a little bummed about this turn of events...but it does make sense. They're in very slow season, the economy's in the toilet, everybody has financial issues & to bring on the amount of employees that would require an orientation just doesn't seem cost effective...even if they're a little shorthanded right now. I understand...and I can wait...but yeah, I just hope that I get to work for this company...because I like it a lot. I just don't wanna be stalled for a long time in the same job with nowhere to go. At least I have a job though...and everything happens for a reason, so I'm not worried. Being best buds, Bubbles & I consoled each other...and it's always good to hear her voice...as most men know, one of their favorite sounds in the word is to hear a woman sound a pitious "Ahhh...I'm sorry" when it's not even their fault to help cheer you up. But then another surprise came up...

I called my mom to tell her about this (unofficial) turn of events...and she mentioned to me that she was going to Mesquite on Friday the 13th...and she said it to me as if I had known this and was invited but said no...which never happened. "Well, can I go with you guys?" "Of course, I thought that I had already asked you." "Nope. Would remember something like that." For those of you who don't know, Mesquite is about an hour away from Las Vegas...so I called Bubbles & told her the news that I'd be nearby this weekend wondering if she'd come & pick me up so that we could hang out. She was overjoyed, of course. Then she mentioned a karaoke jam with her female coworkers Friday night & invited me...so it sounds like I'm going to have a fun little weekend in Vegas to overcome my grief from not having a job there until September-ish. Again, it's not official because I haven't heard anything from the HR director...but yeah, that's the situation. Who knows? I may just have to check out other opportunities in the area while I'm down there...but I really like that company. We shall see. It all happens for a reason.

Watching "Gangs of New York" on USA right now starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Daniel Day-Lewis, Liam Neeson, John C. Reilly, Cameron Diaz, and directed by Martin Scorsese. Now, when this first came out, I thought...gangs? In 1860's? DiCaprio? Whatever. No need to watch this one. However, let me tell you...it's a Martin Scorsese film at its finest. Blood, anger, guts, intrigue, drama, revenge, power, Daniel Day-Lewis screaming & slashing, great flick. Check it out if you ever get the chance. Put the kids to bed first though. It's not for them.

I also got to thinking (somehow) about movies that I used to watch as a kid with my parents. Now, my parents had movies like "Ghostbusters", "Back to the Future", "Romancing the Stone", "Revenge of the Nerds", "Ladyhawke", "Karate Kid", "Goonies" (tehehe One-Eyed Willy), and other movies that are more PG-13 at best. As you know, for the most part, movies geared towards children are:

1. Rated PG - I mean...do they even make G films anymore? Kids shouldn't be going to the movies by themselves anyway, right? I think a requirement for G films is no poop jokes or motions faster than 5 miles per hour...and that's just not going to keep kids attention these days.

2. The Stories are Ridiculous - This may just be the anime that my brother wants to show me every time that I'm near him...and I'm not 100% sure it's geared towards children...but if not them, who the f**k would watch this stuff? Now they're making a Dragon Ball Z movie. Can't imagine how much that's going to suck.

3. You Feel Like You're Forced to Watch It - While the little kids are fascinated by the vivid colors and screen flashes that may or may not lead to epilepsy, you're sitting on the couch trying to doze off...but the sound of children's laughter & Wanda Sykes' voice keep you up. Occasionally, the kids'll jump on you because they're so excited (or sense your comfort level has increased).

4. Have at Least One Annoying Comedian Voice - On the Wanda Sykes kick, there's usually an Andy Dick, Robin Williams (at least he's funny most of the time), Rosie O'Donnell, Ellen DeGeneres (funny too), David Spade, or some other I can't think of off hand (mental block) that just gets more annoying than the cameraman on "Cloverfield" after a while...and that's saying a lot.

5. I'm sure there are more...but by this time, I'm giving the kids back to my brother & running home to have some Me & Milla time. However, I thought that I'd help out...and give you a list of kids shows that you can watch with them...and enjoy the experience with them more...because you'll enjoy the movie's subtle innuendos and just little jokes that you may come up with (or have been told to you by others such as myself if we watch them together). So here it goes...

Kid's Movies Adults Can Enjoy Too

Medal Winners

Gold - The Little Mermaid (1989) - Disney animated features as a whole are usually pretty good...well, fifty-fifty. "The Lion King" is a f**king classic. "Beauty & the Beast", "Aladdin", "Hunchback of Notre Dame", "Snow White & the Seven Dwarves", "Sleeping Beauty", "Jungle Book", "Peter Pan", "Bambi", "Robin Hood", on & on, usually have a pretty good moral story, singable soundtrack, a little bit of comedy...and a hot princess never hurt anybody. So why out of all of these do I suggest The Little Mermaid? Lion King was very close...but I had to give the nod to the story of a teenage redhead runaway who learns the valuable lesson that the way to win that Prince Charming is to get a nice set of legs, lose the crabs (and other sea creatures), don't talk, feel free to walk around naked (or with a seashell top), and enjoy your body as much as he does. Oh...and watch out for witchy whores that steal your thunder...and your man. Love that movie. Now please go watch it with your kids. You'll enjoy it a little bit more.

Silver - Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988) - Now, the story of this is really PG-13 and you can't deny the raw sexual appeal of Jessica Rabbit's body with Kathleen Turner's voice (What the f**k happened to her? Please, take her as a warning to not smoke & do drugs. Such a tragedy...) The story of an animated rabbit framed for murder...and his alliance with an alcoholic dick (private investigator) whose brother was killed by a toon to prove his innocence. Throw in cameos by nearly every Disney or Warner Brothers characters, animated-live action interaction, great sexual innuendo (I've always loved to play patty cake), Christopher Lloyd as a villain, and you've got a great show that kids & adults will enjoy more & more. It would be gold...but it had to go to Disney...in hopes that they would sponsor my blog someday. Now, if Robert Zemeckis wants to sponsor me, I'll switch it up...since I talk about "Back to the Future" & "Forrest Gump" enough. Think about it, Bobbie Z. Have your people call my people (who may not exist).

Bronze - Shrek Trilogy (2001-07) - Mike Myers is funny. Eddie Murphy is usually funny. Antonio Benderas is funny whether he's a puss or a bee on Flonase commercials. These movies...are just funny. Sure, it gets a little disgusting at times...but it's the whole gross factor with the kids (Remember Double Dare? You Can't Do That on Television...with Alanis Morisette? GAK in general? Playing football in the mud...or cow pastures where I grew up?) and they love that stuff. Love that it makes fun of other kids stories & fairy tales too. "Do you know...the Muffin Man?" "The Muffin Man?" "The Muffin Man!!!" "Yes, I know the Muffin Man. Who lives on Drury Lane?" Oh why did John Lithgow have to be eaten by that dragon? Oh, sorry if that's a spoiler to one of the four people in America who haven't seen that movie. My bad.

Suggestion - Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend (1985) - Yet another movie that I was raised on...and I'm sure that I've talked about it before...but it's the great story about a couple who journey into war-torn Western Africa in search of a dinosaur...and find a family of three...and find them just in time for local warlords to kill the father, capture the mother, and now they must watch over the little one and free the mother. It's like Blood Diamond meets Jurassic Park...only more kid friendly. Well, there is one line in there were William Katt ("Greatest American Hero") is talking with an African pilot about arguing with his wife Sean Young ("Blade Runner") and the pilot responds, "If it was me...I'd smack the bitch." I never even realized it was said until I watched it last year...and couldn't stop laughing. Also, check out "Fern Gully: The Last Rainforest" (1992) with voices like Christian Slater, Samantha Mathis, Robin Williams, Tone Loc, Cheech AND Chong, and the great Tim Curry. It's about the devastation of the rain forest...and really rings true to today's environmental awareness...and there's even a hot brunette fairy. Nice. Think I'll throw in a picture...


Flush It - All Those Damn Unnecessary Sequels (???) - Now, I think Aladdin really started it back in the early nineties...but do we really need all these sequels? To EVERY Disney movie? I mean...the one that I keep coming back to whenever I think about it is "Cinderella II: Dreams Come True" and it's basically about Cinderella adjusting to her new life (so I've read because I refuse to watch it). However, my idea for a sequel to Cinderella goes a little more like this...

Scene: Prince Charming is walking into the kitchen the morning after their wedding night. Cinderella’s trying to cook an omelette…but not doing too well.
Prince: "Bon Giorno Principessa. Last night was amazing. I think you drained me out."
Cinderella whispers: "Yeah, it didn’t take too long either."
Prince sips coffee and spits it out: "What are you talking about?"
Cinderella: "Nothing…I just…have you ever…you know…before? I only ask because last night I timed you and I think you broke some kind of landspeed record a few times? I was feeling magic gravy before I even got my pantiloons off. Are you on the juice or something?"
Prince: "Are you serious? I’m Prince Charming. I’ve nailed half the village. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Repunzel, Princess Ariel, Red Riding Hood…"
Cinderella: "What? You had sex with Little Red Riding Hood?"
Prince: "Hey, she’s 18…she’s not little anymore!!! Besides, I’m sure that you’ve had a few in your day. Rumplestiltzchen, the Hunchback, Dopey & Doc, you tag-teaming hussy."
Cinderella: "Well, I hope your mermaid whore gave you crabs…that could sing & dance."
Prince: "Yeah, well it’s a shame you never learned how to make a good cup of coffee…or an omelot…you smell that? I think the chimney’s clogged. Why don’t you make yourself useful? I’ve got people to do & places to see."
Cinderella: "You bastard!!! How could you be such an asshole?"
Prince: "Well, I guess we should have gotten to know each other for more than a day before we got married. This is who I AM sweetie. I’m a Prince." Can you tell that my parents divorced? Not exactly a heart warming tale...but please, when the story's done...let it be done.

Future Watch - Kung Fu Panda (In Theatres Now) - Can't wait to see this movie. Who knows? Maybe I'll see it this weekend, maybe not. Martial Arts, Pandas, Angelina's voice in a tiger (of course), can't really miss. Oh...and I look forward to spending time with my nieces & nephew when they're old enough to watch movies. Used to watch "Finding Nemo" with my nephew Canon all the time...but that was when I was babysitting him at my dad's house. Great kid. They're all great kids. Enjoy the movies.

Well, that'll do it for me for tonight. Have a great weekend everybody & I'll catch you up on Sunday or Monday or something. Wish me luck with the job situation...but like I said, it all happens for a reason. Maybe somebody out there's looking out for me. Who knows? It's the mystery & miracle of Life. Have a happy Friday the 13th too!!!

Wherever God Takes Me

Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen,

Last night, I did end up going to see "Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay" with my Wingman, his dad Buck (who was also in town), and his brother...we'll call him Iceman, why not? It was kind of a last minute thing...and they wanted to come along. The Wingman & I thoroughly enjoyed the movie...because we had seen the original and enjoyed its irreverent, racist, marijuana-inspired, risque comedy. I'm not sure that the other two did...but whatever...I didn't pay for 'em. By the way, there were only two other people in the theatre on the only showing of the day. So from that nationwide gross of about $2500 pulled by the movie this weekend...about 1% of that was us. You're welcome. Just trying to do our part. So yeah, if you liked the first Harold & Kumar, you'll like the second one. Basically, two stoners on a plane to Amsterdam are mistaken for terrorists and thrown in Guantanamo Bay...then escape & trek across the country to prove their innocence. There's racist jokes, unicorns, Doogie, a Cyclops, sandwiches, a stirring speech from W, fantasy sequences, a whorehouse ran by Beverly D'Angelo, character development, and of course...more Doogie. Check it out...or if its not your style, don't. By the way, I did get a call near the end of the movie (round midnight) and I sincerely thought that it was Vegas...but it was my mom...which is almost as weird because her bedtime is like eight o'clock. Don't worry, she just lost her cell phone charger and thought she might have left it at my house last week.

This morning, I really didn't do much...except watch "The Best of the Colbert Report" and before I knew it...three hours had passed. Now, you all know that I think Stephen Colbert is hilarious, charismatic, and egocentric...which I like to think that I am...correction, KNOW that I am. What's in the Best of the Colbert Report? His historic first show where he introduced the word "Truthiness" which was later added to Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, the great metaphor-off with Sean Penn, ice cream three-way with Jane Fonda & Gloria Steinem, highlights from his green screen challenge, his best in the 435-part series "Better Know a District", his numerous awards & dedications including the naming of a bridge, eagle, junior league hockey team, airliner, ice cream, and so much more. Truly a great American idol.

Why was I watching it for three hours besides its sheer entertainment value? It was rainy today...and I did go for a few walks in the rain as I love to do (going to really miss rain down in Vegas) but at times it got quite torrential. Really glad that it cooled off though (going to miss that too). Also, today I had a meeting at work where I found out my schedule in the usual two weeks notice...and I was really zoned out for most of it. Sure, Captain Monty kept me entertained with the horrible things coming out of his mouth, Camb was telling me about her wedding plans, JL Clyde was laughing at me for some reason (because I was laughing to myself about turning everything my boss said into some kind of sexual metaphor), and all of that...but I was a little distracted because I was expecting Vegas to call (it just would have been TOO convenient) and I was told that another one of my coworkers died this morning.

Penelope is her name...and she was seriously one of the sweetest ladies you could ever hope to meet. We had known each other for the full ten years that I've worked there (God, it's been too long) and unfortunately, her time just ran out. That's really all that I can say...and it sucks horribly...because she's a sweetheart...but at least she's at peace, I guess. My condolences to her family & all the blog readers out there that knew her...and also called her Pe-Ne-Lope (like Cantelope) just to get a smile out of her.

After the meeting, I went to my dad's to hang out for a few...and was surprised that my nephew Canon was there spending the night. Not sure if I'm mentioned him before...because it has actually been a while since I've seen him...but he's my stepsister's son (she's the same age as me) and he's six years old...and just one of the most energetic, yet well-behaved kids that you could ever hope for. Oh yeah, he's in my Christmas entry with pictures, that's right. We had good times playing with Lincoln Logs, wrasslin', having tickle fights (undefeated champion right here y'all), and just having fun. Sweet kid...and of course, he loves his Uncle $teve...because I'm f**king awesome.

While he & his grandma (my stepmom) went to Mickey D's for dinner, my dad & I watched "Escape From New York" starring Kurt Russell & Isaac Hayes. I hadn't seen this movie in a long, long time...but yeah, it's a classic about a future where New York is basically a hellhole, the President crashes there, and a cycloptic badass named Snake Pliskin (Russell) is sent in to get him back from the powerful underground boss, the Duke (Hayes). Good times. They made a sequel set in LA called...get this, "Escape from L.A." about twenty years later...but yeah, this one's pretty good. Check it out if you like 80's badass movies...and I know a few of you out there do (lookin' at you, Bone Junior...who probably has both on DVD). Anyway, then I came home after Canon went to bed.

Let's see...what's on the schedule for tomorrow...oh yeah, nothing. Still just waiting for Vegas to call & decide that they want me to run their business. Still going to pack up what I want to keep and pawn off the rest (couches, books, PS2, all for cheap if anybody's interested out there). My mom called inviting me to head to her house for the weekend while she's babysitting my niece & nephew...and hell, I just may do that if I don't hear anything...because then they'd never be able to get a cell phone signal to me in the Fortress of Solitude. That'll show 'em. Regardless of what I have planned...or really don't, I'm sure that I'll have fun not working. Have a great day everybody!!! RIP Penelope!!! Oh...and have fun in San Diego, Bubbles!!! You're gonna love it!!! Be sure to check out the pandas...and see if my videos are helping them any. Oh, it looks promising...

It's a Good Thing I'm Charming

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yesterday was an extremely lazy day…but it was good because I wasn't feeling too well. I also got a lot of belated birthday wishes from the Wingmans, Camb, Brooklyn, and basically everybody else who I didn't hang out with on Saturday. I basically watched a LOT of NBA playoff basketball and some pretty good games…but the best & worst part came midday. I was texting Bubbles, who lives in Vegas and is eagerly anticipating my move when/if it occurs. She was feeling pretty bad during my birthday, so I was checking to make sure that she was okay and feeling better…because that's what I do. Anyway, shortly after sending her a text message, my phone rings…and I notice that it's a call from Vegas. Awesome, Bubbles is calling to talk in person. Now, a little back-story. Because we're cool cats who call each other in a workplace environment a lot, we tend to use our very proper, overly kind, high-pitched phone voices when we call each other at work (otherwise our sultry voices sound like we're trying to undress you over the phone…and that gets awkward at work). Also, we both liked "Cable Guy" starring Jim Carrey…and particularly the scene where he sings "The Girl from Ipanema" for hold music. I know, we're dorks…but we're sexy...and that's the back-story. So in comes the call.

$teve: "What's up?"
Female Voice: "Good afternoon, is this Mr. $teve?"
$teve: "Just a moment please. Na da dada dada dadadada… (that's my hold music) Hello?"
Female Voice: "Ugh…hello? Mr. $teve?"
$teve: "Yes? Is this…Bubbles?"
Female Voice: "Ugh…no. This is (HR director) from (future employer in Vegas). I'm sorry…was that…you doing the hold music?"
$teve: "OH!!! Ugh…yes, that was me. I apologize. I thought that you were my friend calling from Vegas. We have these inside jokes and…my apologies. I…really wasn't expecting a call…such as yours on a Sunday afternoon."
Female Voice: "Oh that's okay. It was just…weird."
$teve: "I can understand that. Anyway, how can I be of assistance?"

So this was how my first interview for the position in Vegas started. After that, it was pretty standard. They asked me why I'd be good for the company and what I was expecting from the position and what kind of schedule I was interested in and all the usual stuff. I think that I did fairly well for being caught off-guard…and being the world's biggest dumbass for the first thirty seconds. To be honest though, she's the one that called me on a Sunday afternoon though. Anyway, after that, I had to call Bubbles to let her know…and it made her day. As it did for the Wingmans, JL Clyde, Ashley, and my mom…who all called within the hour when I was thinking to myself, "Holy crap! They're not going to call back. She probably thinks I'm retarded or something. Oh well. Her loss." So yeah, I'll keep you posted on progress with that.

This morning at work was quite hectic, because we were moving into our new building and getting the computer set up and getting coworkers use to the new surroundings. Busy busy busy…but we got it handled. Other than that, not much going on really. Get off around five today…and I'm going to have some fun…or at least watch some great basketball. I love the first round of the playoffs. GO SPURS!!! Also, happy birthday to my now 14-year old cousins K & T. I still remember babysitting you little brats…but now you're growing up into big brat squeally teenagers. Too bad. Anyway, here's a quiz things that I was sent through MySpace by one of my favorite felons and party throwers, Bren.

FIRSTS

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
Rebekah - We were on the Academic Olympiad team together. The cork went unpopped.

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
Haven't heard from her in over a year now

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
My dad let me sip his beer when I was three years old…and I spit it back all over him. "YUCKY!!!" Didn't drink again until I was 18. Free lesson for all you parents out there. No need to thank me, just pay it forward.

4. What was your FIRST job?
Dishwasher at Freeway Café in Ogden - Lasted four days…then I quit

5. What was your FIRST car?
Firecracker red '85 Chevrolet Camaro with 2.8L V6 5-speed engine - Her name is Carmen

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
Ashley, my sister-in-law sending me a racist joke. Just kiddin', she was reminding me that it was K & T's birthdays, like I forgot or something.

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
It doesn't matter. She wasn't really there.

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
Mrs. V - She only taught for two years…but her husband was my Calculus teacher a decade later…and he creeped me out by showing me my 1st grade picture (complete with black & yellow striped dress shirt…love the 80's) when I was a senior in high school. "Where the hell did you get that?" "Who was your 1st grade teacher?" "Mrs. V…you're bangin' Mrs. V???" "I would hope so. She's my wife." Yeah, I'm an idiot. They had the same last name…but it never clicked until that point.

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
DISNEYLAND!!! We won a sweepstakes thing at Mervyn's and we had a talking car and everything. It was awesome.

10. Who was your FIRST best friend and are you still friends?
A neighbor kid named Steve when I lived in Ogden…but I haven't seen him since we moved away twenty years ago.

11. What was your FIRST sport played?
I was a soccer goalie…and the best…but then I moved to basketball…and am still the best.

12. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
Hell if I remember. Probably at Isaihia's a long, long time ago.

13. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
Myself - I know, it's schizo…but it gets me ready for the day. Deal with it.

14. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
I was the ring bearer in my Aunt Marie's wedding. I think I was six.

15. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
Your mom…and then I peed.

16. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
The first one I remember going to was Billy Joel

17. FIRST tattoo or piercing?
TBD

18. FIRST foreign country you went to?
We did a road trip when I was about eight that took us briefly through Calgary. Don't recall much. After that, it was my 5-week European vacation when I was eighteen.

19. What was your FIRST run in with the law?
My first car was a Camaro. I got speeding tickets for being parked. F**k the police!!!

20. When was your FIRST detention?
About 5th or 6th grade, we got a new principal…who had Reese's Peanut Butter Cups on his desk…so I made it my purpose to be sent there every just about every day (but always after my school work was done). After a while, he asked me straight up, "Do you just get in trouble to get some peanut butter cups?" "Yeah…and it's kinda fun." "Well, tell you what. If you wanna just come in and say howdy or something, instead of getting in trouble. Feel free to stop by & have a peanut butter cup. Then you won't have to stand up in class and tell your teacher to shut up to get sent here." "Okay. Sounds good."

21. What was the FIRST state you lived in?
Utah

22. Who was the FIRST person to break your heart?
My dad - "You know E.T. isn't real, right?"

23. Who was your FIRST roommate?
Jamie, a military brat from Ras Tanuri. Though it sounds like a bad ass Jamaican hideout…it's actually in Saudi Arabia. He was cool…but moved out a few months later…and was replaced by Hung Nhut Nguyen (not joking, the kid's name was Hung Nhut) a Korean student who made the most delicious and smelly dinner.

24. Where did you go on your FIRST limo ride?
The Ritz-Carlton, Central Park hooked me up with a ride to the airport. I was twenty-two, I think.

25. Who will be the FIRST to repost this?
I have no idea…but only the cool cats will leave comments.

That'll do it. Big thanks to Cat for bringing me in a birthday cake today at work!!! I'd show you a picture...but I don't have my camera handy...and it's already half eaten. It was a Pixar's "Cars" theme with $teve "Lightning" McQueen on it. Ch-kow!!! Ch-kow!!! Have a great day everybody!!!

GET TO THE CHOPPAH!!!

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yesterday was a lot of fun. I stopped by work to pick up my paycheck…and they were having a Yearbook Day, you know, from last day of high school. They made up these little picture books from the last few years and had people signing them and li'l sandwiches and stuff. It was…awkward, to say the least…but they gave us sandwiches so I stuck around for a few minutes and talked to the ladies. You know I can't say no to that. I even signed a few yearbooks - "Stay cool! See ya after summer…or at the bar. $teve" because I'm too cool for school. Anyway, after that, I headed to my dad's to hang out for the day.

We talked about Vegas and how much fun it's going to be…and he's really progressing with his leg. He'll probably be completely mobile again in the next few weeks, just in time for a Vegas adventure for just the two of us. It's the first time that just him & I have been on vacation together. Can't wait. After that, we watched "Alien vs. Predator: Requiem" because he hadn't seen it…and I could watch it again. Since I've already told you about the movie before, here's an example of the dialogue that goes on between us during "Drama parts" of the movie.

$teve: Why do they always turn around slowly…and then stand there stunned for a few seconds so that the alien can kill them? I understand that it's unusual…but that's more reason to instantly spring into jumping back or rolling away and firing the machine gun under your arm.
Dad: No kidding. You gotta keep your head on a swivel in that situation. Especially when they sneak up on ya. Want some Snickers, dude?
$teve: No thanks.
Dad: Butterfingers?
$teve: Nope, I'm good.
Dad: Pretzels? Cheetos?
$teve: We just had pizza. I'm good for a minute.
Dad: Scooby Snacks?
$teve: (Pause) Maybe a few.

After that, I helped him with stuff around the house like replacing power outlets downstairs and moving some end tables, then headed to the store to pick up prescription and grab heavier grocery items that he couldn't really get solo. Then we watched a movie that neither of us had seen in a while, "Broken Arrow" with John Travolta & Christian Slater. For those who haven't seen it, it's about two air force captains who are out flying a Stealth bomber on a training mission, then the elder (Travolta) sets out with a plan to steal the two nuclear warheads on the plane, so stages a crash in the picturesque Utah wastelands…and knows all the protocols to buy him some time to make off with the weapons and get a lot of money. The only people that can stop him are the other pilot (Slater) and the world's sexiest park ranger (Samantha Mathis). It's pretty cool…and Travolta as a bad guy is always fun to watch. I would highly recommend it to anybody who likes action films…but in that case, you've probably already seen it.

Around 8 PM, I went back home to meet up with JL Clyde to nerd out by watching another five or six episodes of "Battlestar Galactica" season three. Apparently, I'm entertaining to watch this show with…because I make wiseass remarks during all the dramatic parts to keep myself interested…and I make jokes about Admiral Adama's (Edward James Olmos) mother being an orange…and there are sexy robots…and I can control them through the power of Delusion. She also loaned me her "Planet of the Apes" movie collection...which will be awesome...because I love those shows...and there's even a few that I don't recall seeing before. Awesome!!! Thanks Miss Clyde!!!

This morning has been a little hectic at work…because it's our first day of a lot of new stuff…and there's an adjustment period with all the various programs and staffing and procedures. Really glad that I was the first one to experience it though. At least I have some experience over the trainees and knew who to call and stuff like that…and the other workers won't give me a hard time about it…because I'll tell them to suckiteasy. Okay, maybe not that bad…but they respect me for some reason. Probably the towering height and surprising quickness and agility. Anyway, that's been me the past 24 hours or so. Not a whole lot going on, but I'm having fun. Who knows what I'm going to be doing tonight? Tomorrow, I may go see mom or my brother's family…since I have to be in the area Monday for my physical. That should be fun. Oh…and happy birthday to my buddy Russ!!! I don't think he reads the blog or anything…but still, happy birthday playa. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

KONG!!!

Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen,

Thursday night was...interesting. I got off work earlier than usual and then almost immediately heard about a good coworker friend of mine Alisa resigning. Long story short, it was a ridiculous situation coming back from maternity leave (beautiful kid by the way) and she decided to resign. She texted me and we chatted that way for a while...but it may turn out to be a great thing for her. Everything happens for a reason...and I know that she would much rather spend time with her new son than even hanging around me. I know, it's hard to believe...but some people prefer that kind of stuff over casual meeting with me. Weird, right? She's gonna be okay. Still bugs me though. How much did it bug me? More on that later.

JL Clyde stopped by and we nerded out by watching the first, I think six episodes of Season 3 of the new Battlestar Galactica TV series. That show is awesome. Call me a nerd if you must (and probably should) but I just like the craziness of the show. Sure, there's super hot robots and humans abound...but there's also action, drama, Edward James Olmos (whose mother must have been an orange & he ate glass as a kid), plot twists, schizophrenia, confusion & conflict, a mix of mythology & future technology, and all the other stuff that just seem to intrigue me. Did I mention the robots? Did you know one of them is Lucy Lawless? Oh...and they say "Frack" every other word...and somehow it's okay on the Sci-Fi Network. Awesome show though. Let me know if you're ever interested in checking it out. Thanks for nerding out with me, Ms. Clyde.

Friday was my day off for the week...but after thinking about my job again (and the frackus over the last few months culminating), I decided that it was time to step up the search. I talked with a hiring manager at a possible employer in Vegas...and they suggested that I fill out the online application, send in my resume & other stuff, then they'll contact me shortly about possibilities. So I went to work to take care of all of that. I told Boss Lady, "I don't know if you've already heard through the grapevine or whatever...but I'm interested in applying for jobs in Vegas...and I was wondering if you could help me out." She was unaware...and seemed to have tears welling up a little bit over the following few minutes...but she understood and assisted me. While doing all the online paperwork (electrowork?) some of my coworkers asked what I was doing there on my day off (surprised I actually had one) and I told them. "Awesome!!! Vegas!!! Good luck with that, buddy." "You go there all the time anyway. What does your family think?" "Somebody misses Bubbles." True, I miss Bubbles...but that's not the only reason I'm really considering Vegas (as mentioned in the blog here and here).

As for what the family thinks, they're all supportive...and excited to come visit...and for me to visit, because they know that I will. After leaving work, I went to my dad's to hang out with him. He was pretty much the only one that had no idea now...and that was going to change. We ran errands like picking up medications and grocery shopping. He was obviously grateful of me being there because...well, I'm his boy...and also it saved him a lot of hassle grabbing stuff and getting it to the truck. Always glad to help...and I did a little stuff around the house while I was there too (mostly furniture moving). We talked about this & that, the Vegas trip, the rest of the family, and it really just because apparent how much alike we are...and a little scary too. In hanging out I noticed that we had similar tendencies in just about everything...and you may think that it's because we spent so much time together while I was growing up...but that really wasn't the case. Sure, it was more than a lot...but yeah, divorce & parents working opposite schedules can be tough on a kid. Must be genetics...or maybe just a good memory on my part...but I'm guessing genetics.

Eventually I worked into the conversation, "So...just so you know, I'm ugh...looking into getting a job somewhere else...probably out of state. As you know, it's become incredibly evident that progression in my current job is not going to happen...and I've looked into a few cities like New Orleans, Denver, San Diego...and as you could probably guess...the most appealing place is Las Vegas. (Listed off all the reasons why)" I kind of waited for his response, "You need to grow. You've grown bored. You're young...and you want to go to Vegas. I understand that. It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into it...but I'm going to warn you...don't settle jobwise. They have to make it worth your wild." "Of course. Moving's expensive...and I can ride this b**ch out worst-case and be fairly happy. Just need to get a hobby...or a girlfriend or something." "That's my boy." So much alike it's scary. So he's all for my move...and he's excited to visit...and apparently really proud of me, which is awesome...and very reassuring. See? I'm there for him....and he's there for me. That's what family & good buddies are for...and he's both. Great role model.

We watched "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" starring John C. Reilly and what appears to be the entire cast of "The Office" and all those other movies from the guys who brought you "The 40 Year Old Virgin." Mostly cameos and stuff...but it's a hilarious parody of "Walk the Line", "Ray", and biographical movies in general. I suggest it if you get the chance, the songs are hilarious...and there's a monkey...and a scene with the Beatles (played by Jack Black, Paul Rudd, Justin Long, and Jason Biggs) that I couldn't stop laughing during.

After doing exercises and going for a walk, my stepmom came home and cooked us a fine meal. My stepmom is awesome. I don't know if I've mentioned that on here before...but just so you know, she rocks. Then we watched Peter Jackson's remake of "King Kong" on TNT...so it took a 2.5 hour movie...and spread it out over four hours with commercials. Honestly, who watches "The Closer"? There was an extra scene in the movie with a giant coelacanth fish or something destroying these makeshift rafts they made...which wasn't in theatres or the DVD release that I found. What is it about movies on TV that throw in these scenes that never see the light of day before? I like 'em. I know somewhere, there's alternate and extended versions of "Booty Call" and "Half Baked" because I've seen parts of them on Comedy Central. When are those classics going to be released?

Watching the movie also brought back thoughts of my ex-girlfriend Megan since we saw that in theaters when it was new. Good times. We spent half the time discussing things like: How do the people on Skull Island survive? What do they eat? Fish maybe? Do they send hunting parties into the jungle to come back with some of those giant bugs? The whole Kong / Naomi Watts relationship, are they just going to be friends? The simple physical nature would be...cumbersome to say the least. The scene where they're in Central Park and Kong's sliding on the frozen pond, wouldn't he be extremely cold...and maybe get some serious frostbite? Watch the scene again, you'll see what I mean. Anyway, it's a great show...and I liked it...even though I had to see a few dozen "Closer" & "Monk" commercials to see it. By the way, the fight scene with Kong & the three T-Rexes, f**king awesome!!!

When it got to be bedtime for my dad, Filly invited me over to watch some new South Park episodes so I went over there for a few hours. There's one new episode where a panda rips apart the Tron Guy and other Internet sensations while the WGA (World Canadian Bureau) goes on strike. It's simply worth watching for the Panda...and the Dramatic-Looking Gopher. The new one that's a remake of Heavy Metal is pretty good too. Anyway, check it out. Went home, slept like a baby.

Today, I woke up, did some jogging to the grocery store & back, then watched "The Omega Man" with the late great Charlton Heston. It's the second movie made from Richard Matheson's novel that spawned "Last Man On Earth" with Vincent Price, this movie, and the new "I Am Legend" with Will Smith. This one...was easily the worst of the three. It was still pretty good...given that it was made in the seventies...but this was a kind of 70's blaxploitation remake...with Charlton Heston firing off Uzis, a sassy afro female lead, and a horde of crazy albinos wearing cloaks and seeking to destroy women & children for purification of the land. It's not that bad of a movie...but I liked the other two adaptations much better. Luckily, I texted JJ and had a text conversation (free unlimited texts for a lot of my friends in case you were wondering why I have these kinds of conversations) about how she's liking Denver...and she bought a new couch.

Anyway, that's about all I've got going on right now. I'll keep you posted as things transpire...but the past few days have just been a lot of thinking about this & that...and I try to keep this thing somewhat entertaining. More tomorrow...have a great night!!!