- There must be an open bar
- In the pictures that will be displayed, along with the surprisingly few photos of me growing up, you have my permission to Photoshop my face on as many pictures as you want…as long as it gets a laugh. You could have me as the guy who knocked Sonny Liston out, the 5th Beatle, a tattoo on the small of Angelina's back (or newest on Megan Fox), cover of GQ magazine or some Calvin Klein underwear ad, superimposed on Tony Montana during the final shootout of Scarface, whatever.
- Every eulogy or speech must start with "I remember the first time that I saw $teve's penis. It was that magical (holiday) in (country or major U.S. city) and we had a few too many to drink… (story continues from there)" I don't care if it's my grandma up at the podium. My will be done.
- Also, every eulogy or speech must contain the words "chesticles" AND "schpedoinkal" at least once…and end with the speaker giving my wax statue a high five or handshake (be gentle though, I may be brittle)
Okay, I'm not going to lie...
This one's for me!!!
At least I've got tomorrow off. No plans or anything...but we shall see. Have a great, fun, safe weekend!!! Hope you all enjoyed the fireworks last night!!!