Is There Such a Thing as Coincidence?

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Some good news on the job front. My managers are trying to help me get certified as a manager as soon as possible so that I can get to Vegas sooner rather than later...but we'll see how it works out. I spent about an hour with Boss Lady D yesterday and basically she paid me a lot of serious compliments in filling out some paperwork and went over my strengths with me...and as you can probably guess, it's really nice to hear somebody talk flowery about you. So a good day was had...and according to some system that determines my strengths by interview questions, my top qualities are Teamwork (playing well with others, going the extra mile, training & helping, etc), Positivity (maintaining a positive attitude, making those around me happy, building great relationships) and Caring (helping out whenever needed & basically giving a damn). Pretty accurate...and perfect for the jobs that I'm looking into. Also, there's another job opening that was just posted yesterday that seems almost too good to be true...so I'll investigate & get back to you when I know more.

Last night, I watched "Platoon" for the first time...and really not much else to say other than it's a Vietnam movie directed by Oliver Stone with an all-star cast (did you know Johnny Depp was in that? I didn't). Bloody, twisted, and about Vietnam...so not exactly a feel good movie...but what would you expect with Willem Dafoe being the good guy (still creepy), Charlie Sheen is the narrator, and Tom Berenger looks like he's pieced together by Dr. Frankenstein. Great flick...but yeah, not a cheerful one. Vietnam sucks.

Luckily, "Signs" was on TV. Now, I make fun of M. Night Shyamalan a little bit (probably because I'm just extremely jealous) but I really like this movie. It's about a former minister / farmer (Mel Gibson) and his family's experience during a slow but steady alien invasion...or is it a hoax? Great suspense throughout. Great, fun performances by Gibson & Joaquin Phoenix and it's just a great movie that almost brings me to tears at times...because it's about Family, Faith, Fate, Aliens, and basically just seeing Signs in every situation. You know that I'm a big believer in "Everything happens for a reason" and though it may seem like the right thing at the time, down the road it turns out to be the best thing. This movie deals with that...and the Love for family & loss...oh and throws in a few aliens...or are they the neighbor kids? Or just dead people walking around? Spoiler alert: ZOMBIE NINJAS!!! What a twist? Now, here's the news...

How to Make A Portuguese Orange Juice - Husband and wife Francisco and Casilda Figueiredo are among the last exponents of a traditional Portuguese handicraft -- making ornamental ceramic penises. For more than three decades, the couple have carefully shaped thousands of ceramic male organs, moulding them into upright shapes and painting them in life-like colours for export to Germany, France and North America. Oddly enough, they say the tradition is dying out. "The days of the ceramics trade here are numbered, I see no possibility of survival," Francisco said as he prepared moulds of the couple's top-of-the-range two-foot phallic-shaped bottles in his workshop. "It will never be like it was in the past." The couple produce ceramic mugs with a penis sticking out of the bottom or the side, penis-shaped bottles and ceramic soccer figures with the male organ popping out from under a flag...and sell for about 15 Euro ($30). The tradition is said to have started in the late 19th century when King Dom Luis suggested that the local potters make something more interesting...and this certainly has an interesting market. I can just imagine being at the home of a lovely elderly couple in Lisbon. "Would you like some milk for your coffee?" "Oh, yes please." Poured out of what appears to be a ceramic mold of John Holmes. "That's ugh...that's milk, right? You know what...sorry, maybe I'll just have some juice. I'll ugh...squeeze it myself."

The Sport of Wife Carrying - It's not just for professional athletes anymore. Julia Galvin came to Finland looking for a man that would carry her 120 kg over a 253-metres track -- the incentive being the chance to win the wife-carrying world title and beer worth her body weight. In the end the Irish woman was carried by an English man through a pool and across hurdles. She did not make the gold, but said she would keep trying until the title and the beer was hers. Wife-carrying is one of a host of bizarre contests that Finns, who can tend to gloominess in the long winter dark, have devised for the scant months of summer when the sun hardly sets and people's mood turns frolicsome. Forty-eight couples from 13 countries, including Kenya, Australia and Canada, gathered in the remote Finnish village to complete the track. Estonia reigned supreme once again, as Alar Voogla sprinted home in just over one minute to win the Baltic country's 11th title, with Kirsti Viltrop clinging upside-down to his back. Honestly though, tell me that you wouldn't watch this if it were on primetime. It also purportedly stems from an even earlier tribal practice of wife-stealing, in honour of which many contestants now take up the challenge with someone else's wife. It has also inspired others to organise events such as sauna sitting, swamp football, cell phone throwing or karaoke singing. All are part of a summer bonanza of events that rake in visitors and cash for as long as the midnight sun shines. So next time you think that there's nothing to do...remember these Nordic events...and celebrate with a beer or two...and throw your cell phone out of the sauna while singing "Yesterday" or something. Always something to do...when you have imagination.

RZA, Eli, & Quentin: The Holy Trinity? - The other day it was reported that rap artist RZA (WU TANG!!!) and director Eli Roth ("Hostel" & "Cabin Fever") are teaming together to develop a martial arts film called "The Man with the Iron Fist" in which Quentin Tarantino may involve himself in. Now, Eli Roth has said that RZA is not only writing the film, he's also directing. "This movie will have everything martial arts fans could want, combined with RZA's superb musical talent. Fans should know that yes, there will be blood... This ain't no PG-13." What about QT's involvement? Seems that RZA "has been studying directing with Tarantino for years. and he's really ready to get behind the camera." This is of course mostly speculation at this point...but this could be awesome. Like Kill Bill meets the Wu Tang Clan. Awesome!!!

Anyway, that'll do it for me today. Busy day at work again...and I'm determined to spend the whole day there after half-assing it yesterday. I need the money for a future move...and that two-week vacation with my mom starting on Sunday. Remember that? Yeah, it was finally thrown together...just in a different order (government work). It's the one to Cheyenne (Denver), Minot North Dakota, maybe a stop by Mount Rushmore, and Great Falls Montana. We'll make it fun though...because it's my mama. Check with y'all tomorrow. Have a great day...and keep an eye out for signs...especially ones that say STOP!!!

The Next Step

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yesterday was an interesting day at work. Well, not really. I get frustrated about certain aspects of my job...and the only thing that can save me is my Mute Button when talking to people on the phone. Don't get me wrong, I like my job...and I do it tremendously. However, there are a few things that I don't like to do...and among those is repeat myself...a lot...and have to adjust to usual speech patterns to something that sounds retarded just so that you understand me Ms. Duluth Georgia. "Could you spell that for me?" Then they continue to use the four sounds that apparently in her deck of the woods constitute 26 separate letters in the English alphabet. "Ee, ugh, ee, ee, ah, ee, (slurp), ep." "I'm sorry...ugh, could you use it in a sentence? Definition? Country of origin?" So after ten busy hours of that...I wasn't in the best mood. So yeah, I like my job...but I wanna take the next step...in a new place like Vegas (even though it feels like Sisyphus pushing that boulder up the hill). Why take the next step? I've found from experience that just because you're a great f**k doesn't mean that you have to remain a porn star. Sometimes you wanna direct, produce, get the money as well as the honey, the next step.

Sometimes you just lose that feeling that you used to get by doing a fantastic job & being adequately rewarded. Sometimes you just need to try something new to keep your creative side satisfied. Sometimes you feel like the only reason you haven't moved on already is because you're quite talented at entertaining yourself & others with your delusionally optimisitic views...and you're just too damn lazy and/or afraid to make the move. Sometimes the money that you make is "good enough" for the work that you do. Slowly but surely, time goes by...and though you have many wonderful adventures along the way, you look back, and have to question decisions made along the way. Sometimes you sit at home some mornings and watch Samantha Brown travel through Latin America, Europe, Asia, and a bunch of other places that you haven't been (even a few that you spent a day at) and think "Why don't I have my own show on the Travel Channel?" I don't wanna be satisfied right now. I don't wanna be complacent. I want to have the Passion that I used to have when doing my job & not feel like I'm wasting my time for a fistful of dolla dolla bills y'all (Though when moved from fists to a pocket or bank account is nice to have around).

I want to try new things, see the world, make a few bucks along the way, spread the Love, do stuff that when I blog about it won't bore you to tears like my incessent bitching, and if it's not asking too much...maybe have a gorgeous nympho waiting for me when I get home. High goals? Well, when you shoot for the stars, sometimes you get the Moon. I believe it was the Taoist philosopher Lao Tzu (pictured riding a mechanical bull) who said, "Love is of all Passions the strongest, for it attacks the head, the heart, and the senses (and the groin)." By the way, is he related to "Art of War" author Sun Tzu? Maybe I'm just suffering from Love deprivation...and it's effecting my outlook of work. Maybe I'm just frustrated in oh so many ways so everything's getting to me (my God, it has been over a year). Oh well, at least Karma comes back around...and I do have great friends & family to keep my spirits up. For example, in the heart of my trying day at work yesterday, here's what happened...

As mentioned yesterday, we had visitors at work and they were giving away the fabulous prize of a $75 Gas Card (a little over a tank for Brandy or Baby) for filling out a quiz about their company. Took like two minutes to do, so I did it. About an hour later, I'm doing my job...and while maintaining a professional voice, am getting frustrated with a customer who doesn't understand that Georgia is a big state, not a city, so I need to know where within Georgia they were curious about...so when they weren't comprehending this, I used my Mute button and express my opinion of this person using a somewhat vulgar tone & language. I then notice a shadow over me...and there were a total of EIGHT managers (including the three visitors) standing behind me. Luckily, they were laughing a bit...because I'm charming...and they heard me continue to explain to the customer the geography behind my query. When that call was over, I apologized for the language...and they presented me with the Gas Card. YAY!!! I'm not fired...and I have a tank of gas in my hand. YAY!!!

After that, Brooklyn was working late with me...and had a brilliant suggestion to go to Green Street and have a few drinks after work and play Buzztime Trivia. So I stuck around work (though I wasn't getting paid) to hang with her for an hour & keep the late night crew entertained as usual...then we headed to the bar, had a few Red Stripes (special for $2 a bottle), I lost my ass in trivia (no movie or sports questions, mostly literature & obscure history), and then headed home. Good times. Gonna have to do that again sometime. See? Though I may feel a little bummed sometimes, I know that I have great people to cheer me up...and Karma comes back around, so I just have to keep up the positive thoughts...and then through the power of the Cosmos, my nympho will present herself...or you know, whatever Karma decides to give me...though if Karma's interested, I could make a list or something to help out. Anyway, here's some news...

Soccer Strikes Again - Spain's success at Euro 2008 hurt attendance at an erotic film festival which wrapped up Saturday in Madrid as its target audience (horny men a.k.a. men) were glued to their television screens to watch the national soccer team. About 15,000 people flocked to the three-day International Erotic Film Festival of Barcelona (FICEB), staged for the first time in the Spanish capital this year since it started being held in 1992 (remember those Olympics? The Real Dream Team?). Over 60 firms were represented at this year's edition of the film festival which featured live sex shows and an awards ceremony for different categories of pornographic films. Previous editions of the event, which features performances by buxom strippers and appearances by top porn stars, have drawn over 50,000 people. FICEB director Juli Simon blamed the lower-than-expected turnout on the fact that the festival's opening day coincided with Spain's 3-0 Euro 2008 semi-final win over Russia which drew a record Spanish television audience of 17 million. "Football is one of the few things that can compete with sex." Really? I mean...don't get me wrong, I love basketball...but given the chance to see the Spurs play even the 1972 Lakers...and get cockteased by Spanish-speaking porn stars, you can bet that 10 times out of 10 that I'm going to FICEB and offer some "mosca espanaya" if that's how you say Spanish fly in Spanish. Silly me took German in high school for some reason. As mentioned during my travels in Barcelona, Spanish is just sexy. For example, I watched "Pan's Labyrinth" in theatres last year & apparently I misunderstood a few things about the movie beforehand. "What the...it's in Spanish? Oh man, now I have to read subtitles. Holy Christ!!! Did that dude's throat just get sliced open? What the hell kind of kid's show is this? Oh my, now the mother is having a miscarriage or something & writhing in pain...moaning in Spanish...uh-oh. Why am I getting aroused by this? There's blood...and she's obviously in pain...but it's...just so sexy. This is gonna be really awkward when David Bowie & those Muppets finally show up in the movie."

Sexbot Update - Soft and squishy chemical robots will one day squeeze through tight spots then expand to 10 times larger, offering an advantage over rigid robots. Once a mission is complete, a chembot would biodegrade. The chembots could get into a building through a crack, for example. They could explore a cave or crevice and dismantle an explosive...or they might climb ropes, wires or trees. Another tiny idea: One chembot could pack a smaller chembot into a situation, then release it for even more minute explorations. Researchers at Tufts University in Medford, MA have received a $3.3 million contract from the U.S. Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) to build the soft automatons. ChemBots represent "the convergence of soft materials chemistry and robotics. It is an entirely new way of looking at robots and could someday yield great technological advantage for our armed forces," said Mitchell Zakin, who oversees the program for DARPA. You may be asking, "$teve, how does this constitute a Sexbot Update?" Well, according to this information, there may be inflatable sexbots (or sexbot parts) that can squish into tiny crevasses, nooks, and crannies...then expand...and eventually disintegrate. I don't want to go into incredible detail on this PG-13 blog...but sounds like a little something for the ladies may be on the way...or at the very least, the ability to collapse and conceal your sexbot into a small area of your home. We shall see in the future...for as the Amazing Criswell once said, "We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember, my friends, future events such as these will affect you in the future."

Anyway, that'll do it for me today. Meetings at work today...then I have Thursday off, which is awesome...because then I work late on Friday & Saturday to celebrate the holidays. It should be fun though. I'm sure that I'll make due. Have a great day everybody...and if I don't see you by then, have a great 4th of July weekend!!! YAY AMERICA!!!

Call Me Meester Pig

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

First and foremost, a very happy birthday to my blonde buddy JJ in Denver, who's always a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. Sorry about the brevity of yesterday's entry (Lilie) but I was exhausted…and frankly, the game was on…and it was a good game. The Lakers won, so the season isn't over quite yet. There's at least a glimmer of hope. Anyway, enough about that, let's get to what happened over the weekend.


I'd like to say that I saw a movie Thursday night that was allegedly a comedy…but was easily one of the stupidest and most boring movies of all time. It's called "Smiley Face" and stars Anna Faris, Danny Masterson, & John Krasinski…but there's a reason that you haven't heard of it…because it's REALLY stupid…and that's a bold statement coming from me. It's the story of a lady pothead (Faris) and the 'adventures' that she has…doing absolutely nothing right. Now, it's a low budget independent film…but I've been surprised before…so I thought that I'd give it a shot. I'm regretting it now. Don't watch it. Don't fall for the "Like Harold & Kumar…but with a hot chick" kind of thing…because it is NOTHING like Harold & Kumar…though Harold (John Cho) is in it as a day player…along with Danny Trejo. Anyway, don't watch this movie. It's the new Flush It on my Stoner Movie list (sorry "Homegrown" but you weren't meant as a comedy anyway). Spend that 90 minutes of your life doing something else productive. Call up an old friend that you've been meaning to or something, anything but watch this movie. I also got a wonderful gift from Mickey, it's a talking Po from Kung Fu Panda (which I have still yet to see) from a value meal apparently. He kicks ass...and now he's in his natural environment...my crib. Skadoosh!!!



Friday morning, I woke up bright and early…because I double checking my packing and was expecting to be picked up around "Ten…10:30 at the latest" because my mom & stepdad had decided to wake up early…or so I was told. I called around 10:30 and they were just about to leave their house…which is over an hour away. Awesome. Two hours later, they pick me up at my house. Okay, it was to be expected…because I anticipated this & thus suggested that they try to show up early. If I hadn't done that, they might have picked me up around sunset. It's not their fault that I had plans to hang out with friends in Vegas…because it didn't concern them. Why should it, right? Anyway, can't complain because it was "a free ride" down there…and seriously, what was I expecting? I've traveled with them before. Kudos to my stepdad for not stopping every twenty minutes to take a ten minute leak (old age must suck) like last time.


Though we were already several hours late, they insisted on getting some lunch at La Taqueria (originally Café Rio but it proved to hard to find in Orem). So yes, I was to spend the next 6-8 hours in a truck with three 50-year olds after they had Mexican food. You know what though, it's like the Great Steve Miller once said, "You got to go through Hell before you…get to Heaven."


The drive wasn't actually that bad. It was scenic & beautiful outside the windows. We discussed gas prices of course (never thought the $75 limit on using credit cards would be a major issue until we needed to fill the tank) and how we were going to overcome them by using solar, wind, & magic power. That's right, I mentioned that I was going to be the first to design a sportscar that is fueled solely by hopes, dreams, and sexual frustration. I even mentioned the possibility of a car that runs on urine…so you may never have to stop at a convenience store ever again. Anyway, I'll keep you posted on how my car design comes through. Also, my mom & stepdad are really bad freeway drivers. My mom lacks the focus to pay attention to the road for more than thirty seconds at a time…and my stepdad has a hard time staying awake for more than an hour sitting up. Yet they wouldn't let me drive…because they're stubborn. With my mom, we came up with a new term called Gawk Blocking. It's when you keep the driver focused on keeping the truck on the road (before he/she hits those annoying yet apparently necessary shoulder bumps) because he/she is looking at the mountains out his/her side window. Luckily, I was sitting behind her…so I could see when she had a wandering eye. "Hey, watch the road Grandma." I like to throw that out there…because it's true…and she yells it to other drivers all the time…doing the exact same stuff that she does. Love ya mom. Here's what you miss sometimes as the driver on the trip from Slick City to Mesquite / Vegas…




Eventually we got to Mesquite…about three hours later than originally planned…and it took a half hour to get them checked in…so I was a little frustrated…but I got over it quickly once I called Bubbles to let her know that I was on my way & she was "super excited" to see me. The only bad part was that now I was driving pretty much into the sunset…in a truck...that I had never driven before…through the construction of North Las Vegas and to the other side of town…on a Friday night. Wasn't too happy about being given that set of circumstances…but I traversed it without resistance & made it to Bubbles' house. I was greeted by her & her 6-year old roommate Keanna. Now, the last time I was down there, Keanna did nothing other than peek around the corner…and then give out a girlish super screech and run into her room when she saw me (so she obviously liked me…but was a little kid). I heard Bubbles say to her through the doorway before it was opened, "This is my bestest buddy Cookie. Please don't scream this time, okay? He's my buddy." So then the door opens…and I'm greeted and Keanna's kind of shy and standing by the door, so I kneel down and say hi. She smiles and within a few seconds, she's asking me if I want to play. Little kids love me…eventually. They're just usually scared by my size first…but they warm up to me.


Bubbles & I got ready and went to meet up with a few of her friends & their daughter for dinner at Red Lobster. It was…well, dinner at Red Lobster. Good but not great, company was awesome though. We had a great time…and their 4-year old daughter was a cutie. After dinner, we took her back home so that her grandma could watch her…and then the four of us went to a Karaoke club at Imperial Palace Casino to have a few drinks & embarrass ourselves harmoniously. However, almost as soon as we got there…Bubbles started having a migraine…so after about an hour, it became unbearable, so we all headed home for the night. Here are some pictures before that happened though…

At least one wasn't too busy to pose...

HT & Bubbles

Hotchuma Hotchuma!!!

So basically that night, being the ultimate friend, I doubled as her Migraine Butler & helped her to find a dark, serene environment with extra strength Tylenol, cold water, wet rags for her forehead, and anything else that she needed. I was pretty tired anyway (stress from the drive) so it's all good. The next morning, she was feeling a little better. So we decided to hang out at her house with her roommates. Keanna & I played games like drawing, throwing blankets on each other, and the like. Her roommates made a wonderful lunch with pork chops, Mac & cheese, corn on the cob, salad, and mashed potatoes. It was delicious. However, they were also getting their air conditioner fixed midday…when it was about 107…and that wouldn't have been so bad…if Keanna wasn't so damn squealy…and Barbie's little rat dog Bocephus (after Hank Williams jr) wasn't yapping at the repair man every few minutes…so that caused Bubbles' migraines to get worse again…so we decided to leave & hang out at my hotel room, air conditioned & away from loud noises.


Keanna & Me

Barbie & Bocephus (AC was out)

Bubbles & Keanna

Oh, we also met up with a former Boss Lady of mine Isadora who works at the hotel that I was staying at. I mentioned to her my situation (hiring freeze at potential employer, nobody seems to be hiring in the area right now, ready to move, etc.) and she made a few calls right there because she had remembered something about a position they've been trying to find a good fit for at her hotel. Now, I had investigated that hotel before…and this position…but it had mentioned management requirements and stuff that I didn’t have per se. She talked with the guy in charge of that department…and long story short, good starting salary, pay for relocation, 12 month commitment (or I have to give the relocation back), and I should definitely apply…and it's pretty much the same position that I was applying for at the other hotel. So yeah, I may have to throw my hat into the ring (or however that saying goes) and see what happens. Yeah, I was trying to avoid a workplace on the Strip…but it's easy access from all angles (that's what she said) and its financial situation is a lot more stable…because it's with timeshares instead of hotels, so the money's paid in advance. They're building extra towers while other hotels are laying off managers. It might not be a bad situation for me. I'm definitely going to look into it. I'll keep you posted as always.



Anyway, back to the trip. Bubbles & I basically hung out at the hotel room watching TV at a low volume, with the lights out, ordered a Hawaiian pizza (surprisingly bad for the price), tried to ease her pain with my sultry Barry White baritone voice, and eventually lulled her to sleep. So I used that time to make a few calls, order the pizza, set up the time to pick up the oldies in Mesquite, say hi to the Wingman & Mrs. Wingman to set up lunch the next day…but the next day was Father's Day & Mrs. Wingman's birthday…so they already had plans. It's all good though. Then I flipped through the channels and watch parts of probably half a dozen movies like "Braveheart", "Sleepless in Seattle" (she was awake for that one), "Scary Movie" on Comedy Central, and so on. Bubbles wasn't sleeping well, having nightmares, so I was there if she needed a glass of water, a comforting rub on the shoulder, back, or neck, a reassuring word, and anything else. Sure, it's not the wild weekends that Vegas is famous for…but honestly, I went there to hang out with Bubbles…and that's what I was doing. Besides, I'd hate to think of her having serious migraines like that…and having to deal with her roommates and their squealing daughter & dog…without air conditioning (which wasn't fixed until 1 AM apparently). See? Things happen for a reason. She was miserable the weekend before in San Diego because her sister was less than helpful…but that's why she has a friend like me. We should all be so lucky.


Sunday morning, we had a fairly early checkout of 10 AM (would've been a lot worse if we had actually partied) so we checked out and went to the Sunday Brunch at Fiesta Henderson again. Great value for $12.99 and a full buffet complete with mimosas & crab legs. Oh…and fortune cookies. Yesterday, my fortune cookie said, "Focus on yellow tomorrow to achieve success…in bed." So either I'm looking for a beautiful Asian today…or I'm going to have bladder problems. We had a great breakfast, Bubbles' headache was gone & she was ever so grateful, and we even spent a few bucks gambling before heading back to her house.


It was already around noon by the time we got back to her house, so I was only able to hang out for about an hour before heading back to Mesquite / Slick City. If I were truly a prick, I would've left about three hours later…but I'm not…and like I said, it was a free ride down. So a few minutes into "Dragonheart" (really wanted to see Dina Meyer in that one), I had to leave…and I did so with big hugs from Bubbles & Keanna (who comprise all of the people in the world who call me Cookie).


We drove back pretty event free…except that I was trying to sleep…but couldn't because (as stated) my mom & stepdad drive like crap so I would doze off, then the truck would suddenly jerk and slam my head into the "Oh sh*t!" handle. Not the window…the "Oh sh*t" handle…right in the temple…because I love being so tall. So yeah, after a few deep brain bruises, I just stayed awake and gawk blocked my mom while she drove. We eventually made it back to my house a little after 9 PM and I immediately called Bubbles to let her know that I had made it home safe & sound. After that, blogged for a few seconds, watched the end of the game, and then some Family Guy & a new Venture Brothers episode. All of which were awesome…then slept like a babe until I came to work. Oh yeah, thanks Mom...for the wonderful little book of Hand Shadows. I'll be sure to put it to good use with my projector TV. Always great with the gifts...



So my Vegas adventure really wasn't much of an adventure per se…but it served it's purpose. I got to hang out with my buddy Bubbles, have fun, find out about job opportunities, and not work. All the important stuff about a good vacation. Big ups to JL Clyde for covering for me on Saturday last minute…and to Lilie for her help on Friday. You ladies rock!!! Next time you're in Vegas, I'll hook ya up…hopefully. That's really about all that I have for today. Again, happy birthday to JJ in Denver!!! We haven't forgotten you. Have a great day everybody!!!

Surprise, Surprise

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Couple of big surprises yesterday. First, I got a call from Bubbles who works at my future employer...and apparently they announced at a meeting that they are start a hiring freeze until peak season (probably September). Now, I haven't heard anything from the HR director or anything...so it's not official...but more than likely that I may be staying here in Utah for the summer. We shall see. So we were both a little bummed about this turn of events...but it does make sense. They're in very slow season, the economy's in the toilet, everybody has financial issues & to bring on the amount of employees that would require an orientation just doesn't seem cost effective...even if they're a little shorthanded right now. I understand...and I can wait...but yeah, I just hope that I get to work for this company...because I like it a lot. I just don't wanna be stalled for a long time in the same job with nowhere to go. At least I have a job though...and everything happens for a reason, so I'm not worried. Being best buds, Bubbles & I consoled each other...and it's always good to hear her voice...as most men know, one of their favorite sounds in the word is to hear a woman sound a pitious "Ahhh...I'm sorry" when it's not even their fault to help cheer you up. But then another surprise came up...

I called my mom to tell her about this (unofficial) turn of events...and she mentioned to me that she was going to Mesquite on Friday the 13th...and she said it to me as if I had known this and was invited but said no...which never happened. "Well, can I go with you guys?" "Of course, I thought that I had already asked you." "Nope. Would remember something like that." For those of you who don't know, Mesquite is about an hour away from Las Vegas...so I called Bubbles & told her the news that I'd be nearby this weekend wondering if she'd come & pick me up so that we could hang out. She was overjoyed, of course. Then she mentioned a karaoke jam with her female coworkers Friday night & invited me...so it sounds like I'm going to have a fun little weekend in Vegas to overcome my grief from not having a job there until September-ish. Again, it's not official because I haven't heard anything from the HR director...but yeah, that's the situation. Who knows? I may just have to check out other opportunities in the area while I'm down there...but I really like that company. We shall see. It all happens for a reason.

Watching "Gangs of New York" on USA right now starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Daniel Day-Lewis, Liam Neeson, John C. Reilly, Cameron Diaz, and directed by Martin Scorsese. Now, when this first came out, I thought...gangs? In 1860's? DiCaprio? Whatever. No need to watch this one. However, let me tell you...it's a Martin Scorsese film at its finest. Blood, anger, guts, intrigue, drama, revenge, power, Daniel Day-Lewis screaming & slashing, great flick. Check it out if you ever get the chance. Put the kids to bed first though. It's not for them.

I also got to thinking (somehow) about movies that I used to watch as a kid with my parents. Now, my parents had movies like "Ghostbusters", "Back to the Future", "Romancing the Stone", "Revenge of the Nerds", "Ladyhawke", "Karate Kid", "Goonies" (tehehe One-Eyed Willy), and other movies that are more PG-13 at best. As you know, for the most part, movies geared towards children are:

1. Rated PG - I mean...do they even make G films anymore? Kids shouldn't be going to the movies by themselves anyway, right? I think a requirement for G films is no poop jokes or motions faster than 5 miles per hour...and that's just not going to keep kids attention these days.

2. The Stories are Ridiculous - This may just be the anime that my brother wants to show me every time that I'm near him...and I'm not 100% sure it's geared towards children...but if not them, who the f**k would watch this stuff? Now they're making a Dragon Ball Z movie. Can't imagine how much that's going to suck.

3. You Feel Like You're Forced to Watch It - While the little kids are fascinated by the vivid colors and screen flashes that may or may not lead to epilepsy, you're sitting on the couch trying to doze off...but the sound of children's laughter & Wanda Sykes' voice keep you up. Occasionally, the kids'll jump on you because they're so excited (or sense your comfort level has increased).

4. Have at Least One Annoying Comedian Voice - On the Wanda Sykes kick, there's usually an Andy Dick, Robin Williams (at least he's funny most of the time), Rosie O'Donnell, Ellen DeGeneres (funny too), David Spade, or some other I can't think of off hand (mental block) that just gets more annoying than the cameraman on "Cloverfield" after a while...and that's saying a lot.

5. I'm sure there are more...but by this time, I'm giving the kids back to my brother & running home to have some Me & Milla time. However, I thought that I'd help out...and give you a list of kids shows that you can watch with them...and enjoy the experience with them more...because you'll enjoy the movie's subtle innuendos and just little jokes that you may come up with (or have been told to you by others such as myself if we watch them together). So here it goes...

Kid's Movies Adults Can Enjoy Too

Medal Winners

Gold - The Little Mermaid (1989) - Disney animated features as a whole are usually pretty good...well, fifty-fifty. "The Lion King" is a f**king classic. "Beauty & the Beast", "Aladdin", "Hunchback of Notre Dame", "Snow White & the Seven Dwarves", "Sleeping Beauty", "Jungle Book", "Peter Pan", "Bambi", "Robin Hood", on & on, usually have a pretty good moral story, singable soundtrack, a little bit of comedy...and a hot princess never hurt anybody. So why out of all of these do I suggest The Little Mermaid? Lion King was very close...but I had to give the nod to the story of a teenage redhead runaway who learns the valuable lesson that the way to win that Prince Charming is to get a nice set of legs, lose the crabs (and other sea creatures), don't talk, feel free to walk around naked (or with a seashell top), and enjoy your body as much as he does. Oh...and watch out for witchy whores that steal your thunder...and your man. Love that movie. Now please go watch it with your kids. You'll enjoy it a little bit more.

Silver - Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988) - Now, the story of this is really PG-13 and you can't deny the raw sexual appeal of Jessica Rabbit's body with Kathleen Turner's voice (What the f**k happened to her? Please, take her as a warning to not smoke & do drugs. Such a tragedy...) The story of an animated rabbit framed for murder...and his alliance with an alcoholic dick (private investigator) whose brother was killed by a toon to prove his innocence. Throw in cameos by nearly every Disney or Warner Brothers characters, animated-live action interaction, great sexual innuendo (I've always loved to play patty cake), Christopher Lloyd as a villain, and you've got a great show that kids & adults will enjoy more & more. It would be gold...but it had to go to Disney...in hopes that they would sponsor my blog someday. Now, if Robert Zemeckis wants to sponsor me, I'll switch it up...since I talk about "Back to the Future" & "Forrest Gump" enough. Think about it, Bobbie Z. Have your people call my people (who may not exist).

Bronze - Shrek Trilogy (2001-07) - Mike Myers is funny. Eddie Murphy is usually funny. Antonio Benderas is funny whether he's a puss or a bee on Flonase commercials. These movies...are just funny. Sure, it gets a little disgusting at times...but it's the whole gross factor with the kids (Remember Double Dare? You Can't Do That on Television...with Alanis Morisette? GAK in general? Playing football in the mud...or cow pastures where I grew up?) and they love that stuff. Love that it makes fun of other kids stories & fairy tales too. "Do you know...the Muffin Man?" "The Muffin Man?" "The Muffin Man!!!" "Yes, I know the Muffin Man. Who lives on Drury Lane?" Oh why did John Lithgow have to be eaten by that dragon? Oh, sorry if that's a spoiler to one of the four people in America who haven't seen that movie. My bad.

Suggestion - Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend (1985) - Yet another movie that I was raised on...and I'm sure that I've talked about it before...but it's the great story about a couple who journey into war-torn Western Africa in search of a dinosaur...and find a family of three...and find them just in time for local warlords to kill the father, capture the mother, and now they must watch over the little one and free the mother. It's like Blood Diamond meets Jurassic Park...only more kid friendly. Well, there is one line in there were William Katt ("Greatest American Hero") is talking with an African pilot about arguing with his wife Sean Young ("Blade Runner") and the pilot responds, "If it was me...I'd smack the bitch." I never even realized it was said until I watched it last year...and couldn't stop laughing. Also, check out "Fern Gully: The Last Rainforest" (1992) with voices like Christian Slater, Samantha Mathis, Robin Williams, Tone Loc, Cheech AND Chong, and the great Tim Curry. It's about the devastation of the rain forest...and really rings true to today's environmental awareness...and there's even a hot brunette fairy. Nice. Think I'll throw in a picture...


Flush It - All Those Damn Unnecessary Sequels (???) - Now, I think Aladdin really started it back in the early nineties...but do we really need all these sequels? To EVERY Disney movie? I mean...the one that I keep coming back to whenever I think about it is "Cinderella II: Dreams Come True" and it's basically about Cinderella adjusting to her new life (so I've read because I refuse to watch it). However, my idea for a sequel to Cinderella goes a little more like this...

Scene: Prince Charming is walking into the kitchen the morning after their wedding night. Cinderella’s trying to cook an omelette…but not doing too well.
Prince: "Bon Giorno Principessa. Last night was amazing. I think you drained me out."
Cinderella whispers: "Yeah, it didn’t take too long either."
Prince sips coffee and spits it out: "What are you talking about?"
Cinderella: "Nothing…I just…have you ever…you know…before? I only ask because last night I timed you and I think you broke some kind of landspeed record a few times? I was feeling magic gravy before I even got my pantiloons off. Are you on the juice or something?"
Prince: "Are you serious? I’m Prince Charming. I’ve nailed half the village. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Repunzel, Princess Ariel, Red Riding Hood…"
Cinderella: "What? You had sex with Little Red Riding Hood?"
Prince: "Hey, she’s 18…she’s not little anymore!!! Besides, I’m sure that you’ve had a few in your day. Rumplestiltzchen, the Hunchback, Dopey & Doc, you tag-teaming hussy."
Cinderella: "Well, I hope your mermaid whore gave you crabs…that could sing & dance."
Prince: "Yeah, well it’s a shame you never learned how to make a good cup of coffee…or an omelot…you smell that? I think the chimney’s clogged. Why don’t you make yourself useful? I’ve got people to do & places to see."
Cinderella: "You bastard!!! How could you be such an asshole?"
Prince: "Well, I guess we should have gotten to know each other for more than a day before we got married. This is who I AM sweetie. I’m a Prince." Can you tell that my parents divorced? Not exactly a heart warming tale...but please, when the story's done...let it be done.

Future Watch - Kung Fu Panda (In Theatres Now) - Can't wait to see this movie. Who knows? Maybe I'll see it this weekend, maybe not. Martial Arts, Pandas, Angelina's voice in a tiger (of course), can't really miss. Oh...and I look forward to spending time with my nieces & nephew when they're old enough to watch movies. Used to watch "Finding Nemo" with my nephew Canon all the time...but that was when I was babysitting him at my dad's house. Great kid. They're all great kids. Enjoy the movies.

Well, that'll do it for me for tonight. Have a great weekend everybody & I'll catch you up on Sunday or Monday or something. Wish me luck with the job situation...but like I said, it all happens for a reason. Maybe somebody out there's looking out for me. Who knows? It's the mystery & miracle of Life. Have a happy Friday the 13th too!!!

Vegas - Home of Lady Luck

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

As proclaimed yesterday, I have returned from Vegas. It was a lot of fun and a great trip despite the triple digit, record-breaking weather during the day...but those kind of days lead to hot nights. Okay, don't get your hopes up just for me yet. I went with my dad...and he doesn't know how to keep a secret, so we didn't get too wild. Anyway, without further ado, here we go with my latest journey to Vegas.

Day 1

That night was like Christmas morning. I slept for a few hours...and then starting around 3:30 AM, I couldn't go back to sleep, so after about 30 minutes of fighting it, I just got up and double-triple checked everything for the trip. I met up with my dad at his house so that my stepmom could give us a ride to the airport. He was apparently excited to go too. My dad is a lot like me...so if you know me, you know him...with a few differences and about 25 years extra experience. Differences such as...

1) My father really has no inner monologue - It may be part of the unfreezing process or something...but if he thinks something, he'll say it. My brother inherited this trait...but I'm usually able to control myself (though my blog entries tend to ramble like I don't).
2) He says everything like a question...but wants a response - He tends to end just about every statement with a "Right?" or an "Eh?" or something like that...probably to seek confirmation in his beliefs...but it causes a problem with the next one.
3) He also has no volume control - Due to a life of many, many rock & roll concerts, cranked up headphones, and even massive amounts of swimming in the latest years, his ears and perception of volume are severely lacking. This can often create a problem due to the lack of inner monologue...and combined with his being hard of hearing...and still wanting confirmation on basically everything, here's an example of a pretty standard statement.

Dad: "(Grunt that indicates sexual arousal) Look at that girl there. Nice, eh?"
$teve (already checking with peripherals): "Yeah, nice."
Dad: "Right?"
$teve: "Yup."
Dad: "WHAT?"
$teve: "YES. Nice."
Dad: "Um, me likey. (Purposely creepy laugh & shoulder nudges)"

He's a great guy and all...but yeah, I don't like to repeat myself five or six times...especially when it's something like "Yup" and apparently a nod or thumbs up doesn't work for him either (bifocals?) so yeah, it gets old really quick. Love the guy though, so I try to make him happy...and not have him embarrass me at the same time. I did pretty well on this trip. We had a good time.

We arrived at the airport pretty early in the morning, so we picked up the rental car, stopped by a gas station to load up on drinks, ice & a cooler, then drove down the Strip. My dad hadn't seen it in about twenty years, so I tried to catch him up on everything while driving...which is kind of hard with questions like "What's that?" when he's not pointing at anything or giving me a vague description...but I did pretty well. We then pulled into the Planet Hollywood Casino & Hotel's parking lot (central location) and walked around a bit. We had lunch at the Harley-Davidson Cafe and their Pulled Pork Sandwiches are pretty good. We also had a superhot blonde Midwestern biker chick from Chicago as our waitress, so that was nice. Very nice. Here are some pictures of the Cafe...

Here was our rental car

Okay, so it was really a Saturn Aura...

but we briefly considered it.

My dad's dream bike

Harley-Davidson Dyna Wide Glide

After lunch, we decided to head to our hotel for the next few nights, the Ritz-Carlton Lake Las Vegas in beautiful Henderson, Nevada. We checked into our rooms and I gave my dad a little tour of the property so that he could get around in my absence...because I was meeting up with Bubbles when she got off work so that I could meet her roommates. Here are some pictures of the hotel...from this trip...but I have many more on my other Vegas trip posts.

The view from our room

Bubbles hooked us up

Bubbles and I met up and she drove me to her place. You may remember that the chief purpose of my last trip was to help her find a place...so I was curious where she ended up. We first stopped at a bar called Timbers to have a cool frosty alcoholic beverage in an air-conditioned local before heading to her place. The bar was nice. Pool tables, good drinks, good service. I recommend it. Her house was nice too. Her roommates seemed like good people, especially the house's owner who's a great mother figure for the rest of them. The 6-year old seemed to be scared of me...but I think she was just pretending. She's a cutie though. After changing out of her work attire, we headed back to the Ritz to meet up with my dad for dinner at the Sonrisa Grill in Montelago Village.

Dinner was great with Bubbles and my Dad. We had a good time with some great food, great tunes, and a few drinks (except my dad, because he's been sober for six years now). After dinner, Bubbles seemed to have had a few many, so I drove her home for the evening and made sure that she got to bed safely. Since it was already late & she needed her car for a dentist appointment early morning, I decided to just stay the night at her house and slept on the floor. I know. "Why would you give up a night's sleep in the legendary Ritz-Carlton beds that you've gone on & on about for years...to sleep on your friend's floor?" Because she got home safe and sound...and Karma comes back around. I hope that you're all lucky enough to have at least one friend like me, there when you need them. Didn't sleep too well...but would have slept much worse worrying about her getting home safe...so it's all good.

Day 2

We woke up with queasy stomachs (alcohol + lack of sleep?) and headed to her dentist appointment, then she dropped me off at the Ritz-Carlton before heading to work. Then I showered up real quick, experience the Club Lounge at the Ritz-Carlton (well worth the extra Benjamin for food & drinks all day if you're there at the hotel) and then we decided to head out to see the area around the hotel, including beautiful Lake Mead and the engineering marvel that is Hoover Dam.

Here are some pictures of Lake Mead. Cool thing was that when we pulled up, we saw four big eagles flying overhead...but I wasn't able to get a good picture of them. it was still an amazing sight though. I'd recommend it if you're in the area...but it was hot this day.

See the Eagle? Didn't think so...

My dad & I are both engineering geeks (he has a degree & I almost did before changing majors after three years), so Hoover Dam is really cool to us. We walked around, took pictures, and talked about how we'd like to come back to see the Bridge when it's finished. Funny thing is that I've seen Hoover Dam four times before...but this was my dad's first time. He mentioned (several times due to previous differences) that the first time he saw the Hoover Dam was on "Transformers" last summer.

Proof my dad is also a nerd

Dam Visitor Center

The bridge is going to be wicked awesome

When you're a man, the world is your urinal...

Behold the world's largest urinal

On our way back from the Dam, I was getting a call from the hotel. Remembering the last time I answered that number inappropriately for my 1st interview, I simply answered hello this time. It was, in fact, the HR manager for my hopeful future employer asking me if I'd like to do a 2nd Interview since I was in town. "Sure, I can meet you there in...30-45 minutes if that's cool." "Well, I may not be here that late..." "Well, I can be there in 10-15 minutes if you don't mind me being in shorts & a T-shirt. My dad & I have just been out near Hoover Dam all day." "Ugh...yeah, that'd be great. I'll meet you in the lobby in fifteen minutes then."

The interview went very well, I think. We seemed to have a good conversation going...and of course I made her smile a few times, so that's usually a plus. Her former position was the position that I was applying for...and she mentioned this after I explained my reasons for pursuing that position...and she seemed to like my responses. Anyway, I'm not an HR professional, so we'll see in the next few weeks if they want me as an employee. (However, I just got my annual review last night...and I don't mean to brag...but it was the highest rating possible...so I've got that going for me when/if they call my current employers) I'm very excited about the possibility of moving to Vegas...and combined with the queasiness in the stomach and lack of food for some time, I went to get something to eat. First, I had to tell Bubbles how it went...and she seemed stuck on "You wore THAT to your interview?" even after explaining the context...but she was excited for me too. We had a celebratory drink at the Irish pub, Auld Dubliner in the village before we parted ways (she was feeling sicker than I was).

My dad & I ate at the Club Lounge again (because it was included) and shortly after arriving there, Bubbles called to tell me that all of her roommates had this mystery stomach illness thing, so it wasn't our drinking (because I didn't drink that much...but I am a lightweight). So we decided to just make this night a rest & relaxation evening so that we could be fully rested & healthy for the other nights. My dad & I just watched basketball and I slept for about ten solid hours, twelve total...and didn't feel the least bit bad about it. Remember, I hadn't slept really comfortably in a few days...and the heat of Vegas saps my strength so. If I move out there, I'll definitely have to figure out that.

Day 3

Dad & I woke up to the Club Lounge breakfast again, then headed for the Strip to see more of it. Along the way, we talked a lot about me moving to Vegas and he of course gave me fatherly advice along the way...and I reassured him with my theories and told him that I had thoroughly thought it through long before even applying for the job. I was really excited...almost giddy on the drive down (I had slept well) but yeah, on the drive back from being on the Strip in hundred degree weather for 4-5 hours, I was very quiet on the way back.

We walked through the mid-section of the Strip including the Venetian, Palazzo, Wynn, Treasure Island, and ended up at the Mirage about the time we ran out of sweat (even drinking water consistently) so we stopped into the California Pizza Kitchen, shared a BBQ chicken pizza, drank lots of water, and placed a few bets. I put $20 on the Spurs to win the championship at 10:1 odds. Step one was beating the Hornets last night...and they did. He placed bets for the KC Chiefs (80:1) and Denver Broncos (25:1) to win the Super Bowl...so basically gave Vegas money. After that, we headed back for the hotel to rest until the sun went down.

Surprisingly, I look more tired than Nicolas Cage does

Then again, I was pretending.

As soon as I arrived back at the hotel, I got a text from Bubbles to meet her at the Auld Dubliner. Slowly but surely over the next hour, it went from the two of us to about six coworkers (all female) having a few drinks after work. Then four of us went over to the Sonrisa Grill to share some appetizers and have a few more drinks. Those ladies are a lot of fun. Free of inhibitions after half a margarita (or Mesori Sour...or something like that) and we were having a wonderful R-rated conversation about whatever. Good times with the ladies. They occasionally would say something ragging on men and then look at me and go "Sorry, nothing personal." "Oh...I know. It's true. No worries." We had a GREAT time and I met a few of my (hopefully) future coworkers.

After that, I went back to the room to relax a bit (finally), watched a little basketball (including the nailbiter finish of Lakers/Jazz Game 6) and then met up with Bubbles, her boss, and her boss' husband at Timbers later that night for dinner. They were all great people...and again, we had a great time. We didn't have much to drink...but because I didn't want my dad to get sick or anything from me, I drove Bubbles home and stayed there another night. I'm too damn nice. Oh well, that's why I keep my bed like a Ritz-Carlton bed at home...so I can miss it for a few nights...but always return to it.

Day 4

The next morning, we checked out of the Ritz-Carlton after breakfast and made our way to our last hotel, the Marriott Suites. It wasn't quite the same luxury level as the other hotel, but still very nice...and all of the rooms are spacious suites...and it's within hundred degree walking distance of the Riviera hotel...more on that a little later. We checked in and rested a bit before driving down to the Hard Rock Cafe Hotel & Casino for some lunch and souvenirs for the kiddies back home. I had a Hurricane & a Creole Sandwich (apparently a New Orleans theme to that meal) and both were delicious. Here are some pictures of the Cafe.

As you walk in, you know they mean business...

Jimi portrait, his cloak, and a burnt guitar

All Is One

Entertainment for the evening was to see the world famous Crazy Girls burlesque show at the Riviera. I had seen this show about five years ago when I was a wee lad and there were fond memories of it, so Bubbles, my dad, & I got some Preferred tickets and enjoyed the show after a little gambling to get us in the mood. The show's a great mix of comedy, sex, magic, sex, boobs, music, and sex...and was well worth the price of admission in my opinion. Oh...and by the way, Bubbles was absolutely stunning in her outfit. She didn't want her picture taken...but this is about the closest to the magnitude of hotness that I could find...and it still doesn't do justice...

After the show, we decided to show my dad the Fremont Street Experience (which apparently had a different meaning last time my dad was here thirty years ago) and it's one of my & Bubbles' favorite spots to party. However, about a million other people had the same idea because the place was packed tight with rednecks due to a huge Sugarland concert right in the middle of Fremont Street. We got out of there quickly because it was too drunken crazy...and some of us under six feet tall were claustrophobic. We drove back towards the Strip...but honestly, we were all sapped...and I wanted to leave something for my dad to take my stepmom to when they come down...like the Fountains at Bellagio and the sort...so we just called it a night out of sheer laziness.

We got back to the room and to wind down, we flipped through the channels and found...Snakes on a Plane. Not sure if I mentioned this before...but though I gave this movie the Flush It on my Sam Jackson movie list, I had never seen it. Based on premise alone, I gave it a Flush It...so I thought that I'd give it a chance...and it remains my Flush It. The story is...ridiculous. There was a nice nudity shot of an incredibly hot blonde about to renew her membership into the Mile High Club...but then they threw in the snakes...and it just got stupider, until I figured it was a sign to go to bed.

Day 5

I woke up around 9 AM fully refreshed and stumbled upon "The Truman Show" while I waited for the several hour process of my dad to get ready. I really like this show...and for those of you who don't know, it's about a man named Truman (Jim Carrey) who stars in his own reality show constantly 24 hours a day...and he has since birth...and has never known it. Seriously, you should check it out. It's Jim Carrey craziness mixed in with a deep meaning of life, entertainment, love, the unknown, the controlled, and a bunch of other things. As I watched it, I found myself kind of wondering...what if I were in that situation? All I had known and believed was just some clever scheme to keep me from experiencing the world...and get good ratings & ad revenue. Sometimes I think like that...like, if I were watching my life happening on TV, what would I be yelling at the screen as an observer?

For example, let's say I'm trying to pick up a girl at a bar...and I use one of my clever lines to sneak a seat next to her and get a smile out of her. would I think I were smooth? "Nice line, jackass. Hopefully she's a teacher and thinks your awkwardness is cute...like one of her six-year olds is hitting on her." Anyway, that frame of mind got me thinking...from on observer's perspective, am I really using my time on this planet wisely? Could I be doing more? If so, what? Is Vegas really the place for me to go? Am I just making a brash life-changing decision just to make a brash life-changing decision? Or is it really what I want to do? It's kind of like being my own critic / parent...but the more that I think about it, the more that I think this is the way it's supposed to be. Everything happens for a reason...and everything seems to be pushing me towards Vegas...if not just for a few years while I'm still unattached and can enjoy the carefree lifestyle and live life to the fullest...in a setting basically the exact opposite of where I was raised (Utah). Anyway, Truman Show's a great flick. Check it out. It's more entertaining than one of my rants.

After checking out, my dad & I met up with Bubbles for an $11.99 Champagne Brunch at Fiesta Henderson Casino. It was delicious. They had American, Italian, Chinese, Mongolian, Soul Food, Seafood (including buckets of Crab Legs), Baked Goods, Desserts all around, and anything your heart desires really. We had good fun...and I even had a Fortune Cookie that read something like "Tomorrow you will be full of great ideas" and nothing really happened yesterday that was incredibly creative...but whatever. We had a good time playing with our food and enjoying the sweet sweet meat of crab...and washing it down with chocolate cake & mimosas. Afterwards, we gambled a bit because Bubbles & I always have fun playing the slots (Wheel of Fortune if we can) and she knew that I didn't want to spend too much time alone with my dad (talking in those above conversations for five days now) and we had a great time and eventually hugged goodbye. Thanks for everything, Bubbles. It was great to see you again.

Dad wanted to go to the In & Out Burger to get some souvenirs for people back home (since we had just eaten a buffet, so no burger & animal style fries) then we hung out at the Orleans Casino for a while just to escape the heat reaching up to 110 degrees now. I played some Roulette and basically ended up losing six bucks...but got two glasses of ice cold water in exchange. I felt like I had broken even.

Long story short, after that, we filled up the rental car's gas tank, gave it back, got on the flight and went home. Along the way, my dad got a little obnoxious and we got in one of our conversations about the small airplane that we were taking back (since it was an hour flight).

Dad: "Is THAT our plane? It looks small, doesn't it?"
$teve: "It's a regional flight."
Dad: "Right?"
$teve: "Yeah, it's a smaller plane."
Dad: "WHAT?"
$teve: "Yes. (F**k)"
Dad: "I mean...THAT'S a plane (pointing at a 757) but THIS is a baby, right?"
$teve: "They're perfectly safe. Don't be scared, dad."
Dad: "What?"
$teve: "Don't worry dad. You'll be safe."
Dad: "Oh, I know...but still...it's just a little plane."
$teve: "And we've got front row seats with extra leg room. I'll take the window."
Dad: "What? (Grunt) LOOK AT THAT GIRL!!! (Sitting two seats away at the airport, so she obviously heard my dad and chose to ignore) That's a hot girl, right?"
$teve: "Yup, she's certainly a beautiful woman."
Dad: "WHAT?"
$teve: "Yup. Hey look at mountains (like he's a kid)."
Dad: "You should go talk to her."
$teve: "I'm sure that she can hear us just fine, dad. (She laughed a little)"
Dad: "What?"
$teve (do you see how frustrating this week was?): "(Silence)"
Dad: "I would have at your age."
$teve: "I know...and you had a wife and two kids at my age, dad. Let it go, alright?"
Dad: "What?"
$teve: "(F**k me!!!) I'll be back. I'm going to the bathroom."
Dad: "Okay!!! Hope it all goes well." (He heard the bathroom thing the first time, that's why I remember it...because it was so odd)
$teve: "It always does."

By the time I got back from the bathroom, the lovely woman was gone...so I assume she got a little fed up or something too. Like I said, I love my dad...but he gets irritating after a while...and he doesn't mean to, he just does. Oh...and during the flight, he had his Walkman (yes, original Walkman) on and was singing along to "Dark Side of the Moon" while I was trying to nod off because my head was basically at an angle on the wall anyway because of the small plane window seat...and he was pretty loud and nudged me pretty sturdily every few seconds wanting me to join in singing. Wasn't really in that kind of a mood, so I passed. Anyway, we stopped by Taco Bell telling my stepmom all about the tripe, made it home, thanked each other for the great trip...and I went home ready to sleep like a log...or so I thought.

I got back home around 11 PM and my apartment was HOT!!! I had just come from 110 degree Vegas...and my apartment was making me sweat more...so I tried to find out why. My heater was turned down...but apparently it was just a hot day here in Utah and I had all my windows closed with no fan or anything on (it was in the fifties when I left). After about an hour of checking the oven, opening windows, turning on fans, and whatever else I could do to cool the house down, I got a call from Bubbles. "How much do you love me?" "Is this a trick question?" "(Laugh) You know that you're my best friend in the whole wide world, right?" "(Sigh) Of course I do...but I'd like to hear you say it again before you tell me what you need me to do." "Well, you are my bestest friend in the whole wide world...and I was wondering if you could do me a huge favor...and let my mom crash at your house for the night."

Apparently, her mom & her mom's boyfriend had a fight, so her mom was standing out in the cold (still 80 degrees) and needed a place to stay the night before her other daughter could come pick her up. "She's not drunk or high or anything, is she?" "No, but you're the only person that can help me out...and I know that it's a lot to ask...but would ya?" "(Sigh) You know that I will. Wait, where is she?" "Not exactly sure...but I'll find out and call you back." She was about a mile away...so that was great. I picked her up (and all of her stuff, that filled up my car pretty good), took her to my place, gave her a cranberry juice & vodka nightcap, let her use the shower, made her laugh a little, and she had full couch, bar, & fridge privileges. They were ever so grateful...and I spent the next morning hanging with her, watching "Home Improvement" and stuff until her other daughter came and picked her up. It was the least that I could do for a good friend like Bubbles...and I hope that her mom gets her life back on track as soon as possible. She's a sweetie...and I think she likes me too...but she just doesn't seem to have the willpower...but hopefully that'll change quickly. She's too nice of a person to be miserable. Pray for her, would y'all? I'd consider it a personal favor if you did.

Anyway, that was my latest Vegas adventure. Sorry if it was a little long-winded and philosophical for ya instead of drunken & debaucherous...but it was what it was. What happens in Vegas, usually stays there...so be darn happy that I gave ya this much. I'll keep you posted on the job and what becomes of it...and I hope that you all had a wonderful time while I was gone. Also, if I don't see ya before you go, have a happy & safe Memorial Day Weekend!!! Have a great night everybody!!!