Love, Passion, & Double D's

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, after work last night, I met up with Bubbles & two of her ladyfriends at Green Street for some pool and free drinks. It's about time a girl bought me a drink. Then again, it was just about last call when I showed up. I did better than usual with regards to billiards...and we all had a good time. The ladies then talked about getting a cab...but were going to different places, so I just offered to drive them home & they spent the money saved on some late night waffles at Village Inn that I ended up eating most of. Nice. The best part about eating at Village Inn late at night...is the people watching. In fact, there was one lady in her twenties who...probably should have been cut off a long time ago...and she was basically roaring like a cat at the other tables & rambling at the waitress. It was interesting...and mildly entertaining. Of course, sitting at the table with three very attractive ladies, there were a few guys watching our table...and probably wondering who the hell I was. "Either it's their gay friend, an older brother, or some kind of centaur. Look! He's totally looking down her shirt. That eliminates the gay friend...and he's not nearly as hot as them, so he's probably half horse." As we left, one of them even tried to wave down Bubbles from across the room...and she just laughed & grabbed onto my arm as we exited. See? Being a chauffeur pays off...in fun, waffles, and confidence-building.

Drunk Driving - You know, I realize that I talk a lot about having a designated driver (Double D's in title), enjoying alcohol in moderation, and basically being safe with your fun. It's primarily because I have seen some of my friends & family suffer greatly when they don't. My dad would tell me horror stories while he was a cop about accidents where alcohol was involved. Several of my high school friends & classmates died in car crashes. Even lesser things like DUIs and repairing your car are both really expensive & inconvenient. Even as recently as yesterday, I expressed how much I enjoy being a designated driver…because I don't need alcohol for a good time, so everybody has fun & gets home safely. Then last night I was looking through the news bites and found this story that scared me a little bit. Former Chargers safety Terrence Kiel was killed after he was thrown from a Chevy sedan he was driving Friday night. He was driving alone after leaving a party at about 10:15 PM when he hit a wall in San Diego's upscale Scripps Ranch neighborhood and was thrown from the car. Friends had tried to keep Kiel from driving home from the party, Sgt. Alan Hayward said, and witnesses told police he appeared to be driving in the wrong direction when he crashed.

Now the reason that this particular story scared me…was because Kiel is my brother's name (as you may know) so when I see a headline containing "Kiel dies" it immediately creeps me out…because it's even an unusual spelling. Secondly, he was 27 years old & driving home alone after a 4th of July party. I'm 27…and went to a party the other night. Thirdly, I thought it oddly ironic that his position when he played football was Safety. Anyway, I know you guys are probably sick of me reminding you that drinking & driving is a really bad idea…but please just take it to heart. It's not that I'm trying to tell you how to live your life or anything like that…just that I'd like you guys to be around as long as possible…and I certainly don't want to read any headlines containing "(Someone I really care about) dies" as I'm sure there are plenty others out there that feel the same way. Drink responsibly…and if you must, feel free to invite me to your shindig. I'm pretty entertaining anyway…and I'll drive you home in my plush, newly renovated Poor Man's Maybach. Seriously, you'll fall asleep in these heavenly sofa-like seats & smooth ride. I'm not joking. It's THAT comfortable.

American Tales of Gluttony - American Joey Chestnut reclaimed the top spot at the annual Nathan's hot dog eating contest in Coney Island on Friday after first tying with Japanese archrival Takeru Kobayashi in a 10-minute chow-down at 59 dogs...and then beating him in a five-dog eat-off. Kobayashi had hoped to reclaim the throne after a disappointing three-dog loss last year shattered his six-year winning streak. Chestnut's winnings include $10,000 and the coveted mustard-yellow belt. Congratulations, Mr. Chestnut!!! Your dedication has paid off. Really though, what's more American than gorging yourself on incredibly unhealthy processed meat-based products while people around the world & in your own country starve? How about this…

The Big Cheese - A sculpture of the signing of the Declaration of Independence made from a one-ton block of cheddar cheese glistened on the sidewalk of Times Square in New York on Thursday as an artist's tribute to the 4th of July. The replica of an iconic painting by John Trumbull shows John Adams, John Hancock, Benjamin Franklin and others standing around a table signing the historic document. Sculptor Troy Landwehr worked eight hours a day for a week in a 40-degree cooler carving the block of Wisconsin cheddar for cracker company Cheez-It. "The cheddar has been pasteurized and will not melt. What I spray on it is cooking oil and that stops it from drying out and cracking. That's why it looks sweaty. It actually preserves the cheese. The hardest part was trying to keep everybody in proportion." He said putting the cheese on display in New York and Philadelphia would help it age faster and then it would be taken back to Wisconsin to be donated to food pantries. Well, as absurd as it sounds, at least it's going to a good cause…eventually.

Rage & Gluttony - A man was charged with battery last week after he hit his mother in the head with a three-pound package of Polish sausage (that's what she said). Gregory Allen Praeger, 46, was in the kitchen cooking and talking on the phone when officers arrived Saturday night. His mother told police he had been drinking and arguing with her, then picked up the package of sausage and hurled it, grazing her head. She was not badly hurt and did not have to go to the hospital. He was held on $500 bond. "What are you in for?" "I clocked my elderly mother with three pounds of all-beef Polish sausage." Not going to get you street cred unless they take it in an entirely inappropriate way…then they may be disappointed during shower time.

Betsy Ross Update - Remember a few months ago when I mentioned that Benjamin Franklin & Betsy Ross were getting married? Well, to commemorate the 4th of July, historical figure reenactors Ralph Archbold (Franklin) & Linda Wilde (Ross) tied the knot in front of Independence Hall in Philadelphia. The bride and groom, as well as the entire wedding party, were in costume for the event. "Ralph and Linda, the entire city could not be happier for you," said Mayor Michael Nutter, who performed the brief ceremony. After exchanging vows, Archbold and Wilde were given a standing ovation by the crowd of several thousand as the Philly Pops played the wedding march. The couple boarded a horse-drawn coach for the trip to a private reception at the historic City Tavern, where Franklin dined along with such notables as George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. The 66-year-old Archbold, who has portrayed Franklin since 1973, and Wilde, 50, met Sept. 1 after she hired him for a friend's wedding toast. The couple discovered a mutual Love of history and education, and they announced their engagement this spring.

Speaking of Betsy Ross, the ULTIMATE CHALLENGE is still alive & well. Show off your creative skills & stand to receive a magnificent array of wonderful prizes. Years from now, perhaps a couple portraying your historical image will be married in this fashion…as the legendary creator of the first Flag of $tevonia. Do you think that Betsy Ross expected to be immortalized in song when she (allegedly) made the first flag? Nope. Never even crossed her mind. That's the thing with history, the little things that you do today, when filled with Love & Passion, could immortalize your image to inspire future generations to do the same. Perhaps the only thing that people should live with an excess of in their veins…is that Love & Passion for others. Because when it all comes down to it, the greatest purchases of our life aren't when we buy a new sportscar or an Armani suit or something just for us…but when it's an engagement ring for the Love of your life or a house to start your family. The greatest thrills aren't when you jump out of an airplane or race around going 180 MPH…but when you find that special someone who makes everything exciting & new, yet gives you a sense of inner peace and spiritual creaminess. I guess what I'm saying basically is don't sweat the small stuff…and don't be stingy with the Love (at least to those that deserve it). Sure, there may be lots of bad people out there wanting to do you wrong…but when you find those great people who make you feel incredible & really care about you, don't take them for granted. Let them know what they mean to you. Don't be afraid to open up to them. Live your life with Love & Passion.

Wow, I just realized that I babbled on a lot about that…when I started with talking about the flag for my imaginary principality. Nice. Well, that's why some of you read every word…and others skim through. Either way, thanks for reading. Writing this gibberish keeps me entertained…and hopefully does the same for you…and let me know if you'd like to sponsor me. Donations / Gratuities are greatly appreciated…as well as comments.

Anyway, that will do it for today. Not any real plans or anything...but worst-case, there's the Sunday Night Fox lineup and a new Venture Brothers episode. Awaiting the possible return of the lovely Molotov Cocktease. I know, I'm lame...but I'm also charming, so it doesn't come off as creepy unless I write it down and display it for the world to see. (Sigh...) Have a great night everybody!!! Hotchuma hotchuma!!!