It's a Good Thing I'm Charming

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yesterday was an extremely lazy day…but it was good because I wasn't feeling too well. I also got a lot of belated birthday wishes from the Wingmans, Camb, Brooklyn, and basically everybody else who I didn't hang out with on Saturday. I basically watched a LOT of NBA playoff basketball and some pretty good games…but the best & worst part came midday. I was texting Bubbles, who lives in Vegas and is eagerly anticipating my move when/if it occurs. She was feeling pretty bad during my birthday, so I was checking to make sure that she was okay and feeling better…because that's what I do. Anyway, shortly after sending her a text message, my phone rings…and I notice that it's a call from Vegas. Awesome, Bubbles is calling to talk in person. Now, a little back-story. Because we're cool cats who call each other in a workplace environment a lot, we tend to use our very proper, overly kind, high-pitched phone voices when we call each other at work (otherwise our sultry voices sound like we're trying to undress you over the phone…and that gets awkward at work). Also, we both liked "Cable Guy" starring Jim Carrey…and particularly the scene where he sings "The Girl from Ipanema" for hold music. I know, we're dorks…but we're sexy...and that's the back-story. So in comes the call.

$teve: "What's up?"
Female Voice: "Good afternoon, is this Mr. $teve?"
$teve: "Just a moment please. Na da dada dada dadadada… (that's my hold music) Hello?"
Female Voice: "Ugh…hello? Mr. $teve?"
$teve: "Yes? Is this…Bubbles?"
Female Voice: "Ugh…no. This is (HR director) from (future employer in Vegas). I'm sorry…was that…you doing the hold music?"
$teve: "OH!!! Ugh…yes, that was me. I apologize. I thought that you were my friend calling from Vegas. We have these inside jokes and…my apologies. I…really wasn't expecting a call…such as yours on a Sunday afternoon."
Female Voice: "Oh that's okay. It was just…weird."
$teve: "I can understand that. Anyway, how can I be of assistance?"

So this was how my first interview for the position in Vegas started. After that, it was pretty standard. They asked me why I'd be good for the company and what I was expecting from the position and what kind of schedule I was interested in and all the usual stuff. I think that I did fairly well for being caught off-guard…and being the world's biggest dumbass for the first thirty seconds. To be honest though, she's the one that called me on a Sunday afternoon though. Anyway, after that, I had to call Bubbles to let her know…and it made her day. As it did for the Wingmans, JL Clyde, Ashley, and my mom…who all called within the hour when I was thinking to myself, "Holy crap! They're not going to call back. She probably thinks I'm retarded or something. Oh well. Her loss." So yeah, I'll keep you posted on progress with that.

This morning at work was quite hectic, because we were moving into our new building and getting the computer set up and getting coworkers use to the new surroundings. Busy busy busy…but we got it handled. Other than that, not much going on really. Get off around five today…and I'm going to have some fun…or at least watch some great basketball. I love the first round of the playoffs. GO SPURS!!! Also, happy birthday to my now 14-year old cousins K & T. I still remember babysitting you little brats…but now you're growing up into big brat squeally teenagers. Too bad. Anyway, here's a quiz things that I was sent through MySpace by one of my favorite felons and party throwers, Bren.

FIRSTS

1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
Rebekah - We were on the Academic Olympiad team together. The cork went unpopped.

2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
Haven't heard from her in over a year now

3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
My dad let me sip his beer when I was three years old…and I spit it back all over him. "YUCKY!!!" Didn't drink again until I was 18. Free lesson for all you parents out there. No need to thank me, just pay it forward.

4. What was your FIRST job?
Dishwasher at Freeway Café in Ogden - Lasted four days…then I quit

5. What was your FIRST car?
Firecracker red '85 Chevrolet Camaro with 2.8L V6 5-speed engine - Her name is Carmen

6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
Ashley, my sister-in-law sending me a racist joke. Just kiddin', she was reminding me that it was K & T's birthdays, like I forgot or something.

7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
It doesn't matter. She wasn't really there.

8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
Mrs. V - She only taught for two years…but her husband was my Calculus teacher a decade later…and he creeped me out by showing me my 1st grade picture (complete with black & yellow striped dress shirt…love the 80's) when I was a senior in high school. "Where the hell did you get that?" "Who was your 1st grade teacher?" "Mrs. V…you're bangin' Mrs. V???" "I would hope so. She's my wife." Yeah, I'm an idiot. They had the same last name…but it never clicked until that point.

9. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
DISNEYLAND!!! We won a sweepstakes thing at Mervyn's and we had a talking car and everything. It was awesome.

10. Who was your FIRST best friend and are you still friends?
A neighbor kid named Steve when I lived in Ogden…but I haven't seen him since we moved away twenty years ago.

11. What was your FIRST sport played?
I was a soccer goalie…and the best…but then I moved to basketball…and am still the best.

12. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
Hell if I remember. Probably at Isaihia's a long, long time ago.

13. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
Myself - I know, it's schizo…but it gets me ready for the day. Deal with it.

14. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
I was the ring bearer in my Aunt Marie's wedding. I think I was six.

15. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
Your mom…and then I peed.

16. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
The first one I remember going to was Billy Joel

17. FIRST tattoo or piercing?
TBD

18. FIRST foreign country you went to?
We did a road trip when I was about eight that took us briefly through Calgary. Don't recall much. After that, it was my 5-week European vacation when I was eighteen.

19. What was your FIRST run in with the law?
My first car was a Camaro. I got speeding tickets for being parked. F**k the police!!!

20. When was your FIRST detention?
About 5th or 6th grade, we got a new principal…who had Reese's Peanut Butter Cups on his desk…so I made it my purpose to be sent there every just about every day (but always after my school work was done). After a while, he asked me straight up, "Do you just get in trouble to get some peanut butter cups?" "Yeah…and it's kinda fun." "Well, tell you what. If you wanna just come in and say howdy or something, instead of getting in trouble. Feel free to stop by & have a peanut butter cup. Then you won't have to stand up in class and tell your teacher to shut up to get sent here." "Okay. Sounds good."

21. What was the FIRST state you lived in?
Utah

22. Who was the FIRST person to break your heart?
My dad - "You know E.T. isn't real, right?"

23. Who was your FIRST roommate?
Jamie, a military brat from Ras Tanuri. Though it sounds like a bad ass Jamaican hideout…it's actually in Saudi Arabia. He was cool…but moved out a few months later…and was replaced by Hung Nhut Nguyen (not joking, the kid's name was Hung Nhut) a Korean student who made the most delicious and smelly dinner.

24. Where did you go on your FIRST limo ride?
The Ritz-Carlton, Central Park hooked me up with a ride to the airport. I was twenty-two, I think.

25. Who will be the FIRST to repost this?
I have no idea…but only the cool cats will leave comments.

That'll do it. Big thanks to Cat for bringing me in a birthday cake today at work!!! I'd show you a picture...but I don't have my camera handy...and it's already half eaten. It was a Pixar's "Cars" theme with $teve "Lightning" McQueen on it. Ch-kow!!! Ch-kow!!! Have a great day everybody!!!

27 Guesses

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, let's see. Friday, after posting, I went to my dad's to hang out and watch movies. When I showed up, his face looked a little bruised. "Did she beat you? Do you need me to take care of business?" "No no, I have some kind of sinus infection or something. The doctor's gave me antibiotics...but we're not going to be able to take you out to dinner tonight. Your stepmom's sick. I hope you don't mind." "Not at all, dude. Your guy's health is more important than T.G.I. Friday's Jalapeno Poppers...but it's close." So yeah, my birthday dinner will be next Friday...which is cool because we were going to go see the matinee of "Iron Man" anyway. Everything happens for a reason...and they're feeling much better now, which is what's important.

My dad & I watched "Stephen King's The Mist" which I had seen before...and I think that I've told you before that it's a really well done movie (director of "Green Mile" & "Shawshank Redemption") but a few situations in the movie...and especially the horrible ending will probably make you hate this movie. My suggestion: Watch it...get into it and take advantage of the great anticipation, fear of the unknown dangers, steadily growing danger from within with the Jonestown Syndrome thing going on in the store...and then stop the movie at about one hour and 45 minutes in. The last ten minutes or so...will just make you hate this movie...and I heard somewhere that Stephen King didn't like it at all...because it was his story...and he didn't really write an ending to it...but Hollywood needs an ending. Anyway, I say give it a shot if you're into semi-gory, thrilling horror movies. If not, watch one of those "From the Guys Who Brought You 40-Year Old Virgin" movies. There are plenty to choose from.

After that, we watched "Cloverfield" and I was told time & time again...that the movie was okay...but it's basically a mix of "The Blair Witch Project" and "Godzilla" and shouldn't bother...but for the price of a rental (that my dad handled), I thought that it was worth a shot. My review: It was much better than I was expecting...but yeah, it's "Blair Witch" meets "Godzilla" and you'll pray that the cameraman gets killed very early into the movie...but then, who would film all this stuff? It's actually pretty good...but there's obviously a few points where your reaction to the stuff being videotaped is "Why would they be taping this?" but it's to give a backstory and all that fun stuff that's apparently required for a motion picture...allegedly. My dad & I through both of these movies kept yelling stuff at the screen like "Why are you standing there staring at the monsters? RUN!!! RUN!!! They're going to eat you...just like the guy you're watching them eat." or "You hear a noise? RUN!!! Get above ground. Where there's light...and space...so that you can see them coming." or "Grab the axe!!! Use it!!!" We think a lot alike. We would probably do okay if in a horror movie situation...but then it wouldn't be as exciting...or gory...so it wouldn't be a blockbuster. Anyway, "Cloverfield" is pretty good...but you've seen it before...with dubbing...and a few scenes are taken directly from "Blair Witch Project." "I am so scared right now" with the snot dripping. Yeah, I hate to laugh at other people's suffering...but it was just so funny to me.

After the movies, we watched some basketball...and my dad asked me occasionally about players that he had never seen before...because he knows that I'm an encyclopedia or useless basketball knowledge, strategy, and player profiles. I enjoy it...and Hubie Brown and some of the other former professionals turned commentators agree with stuff that I say...but a few minutes after I tell my dad. It always amuses him...and me too. Anyway, before I knew it, eleven o'clock rolled around so I went home.

Yesterday was my 27th birthday...and the plan was to have my mom show up around 9 AM so that we could hang out, then my brother & his family would show up a little later, then we'd go to the zoo or something. Well, as it turned out, my mom & brother's family showed up between noon & 1:30, and it was too cold allegedly for the zoo, so we went to Chuck E. Cheese. That's right, I had my 27th birthday party at the residence of Charles Edward Cheese, jr. It was awesome...and it had been about twenty years since I had seen one. It was a good time...and the kids (Vinny, Kairi, Kelaudri, and my 12 year old cousin Alicia) had fun. Here are the pictures.

Here are the kids playing with RoboPanda

I still think it's creepy...but Kelaudri loves it

My mom, Ashley, and my end table...with Panda

and Gort lamp...how do you think you turn him on?

My new haircut, Vinny, and my mom

Kairi & Quagmire

"Where are you going, sweetie?"

I kid you not, she reached out to touch

Bettie Page's ass...and said, "Nice!"

I almost crapped myself it was so funny.

"Yes it is, sweetie. Yes it is."

Is it just me...or does Chuck look stoned?

Hey, they're hiring...at $7 an hour

I remember these guys...

Kairi loved the animatronic characters

Mom & a wide-eyed Vinny

Clowns are just creepy...

Fatherhood - "If you push the boost button behind a car,

you can jump right over them. Zoom zoom zoom!!!"

Skee Ball kicks ass...

...but punching ducks is so much more satisfying.

Best deal at Chuck E. Cheese!!!

These pictures are a quarter

Here's my brother & sister-in-law

Kairi, Alicia, and Kelaudri

Me, my mom, & Vinny

Apparently my mother was confused...

and really looks the part in this picture

After Chuck's, we were all pretty tired...so we went back to my place so that everybody could sleep in my bed or relax on the couch...and apparently let kids run around with cake. Yeah, I'm cleaning up around my apartment this morning...and finding little surprises everywhere. It's groovy. "Oh look, dirty diapers in my trash. Yummy." Oh well. I'll consider it a birthday present from the kids. While resting there, my buddies Bartles & Jaymes invited us to a housewarming barbecue in Brigham City...so we made arrangements for me to get out there...and get driving back by my stepdad (because he was coming in today for a model tank convention anyway). so I went there. Good times. They have a nice crib out there...and being a dairy farmer, there was plenty of meat on the barbecue. My sister-in-law showed off their wedding photos...and if I get a copy of them eventually, I'll have to show you some of them. It was a beautiful wedding...and I look pretty fly in a suit. I can't lie. Plus I had the facial hair, all my brothers were there, I was the Best man, it was a good one...and just before I started blogging. So yeah, maybe someday I'll scan a copy of those and share them. I'm sure they won't mind...since they show everybody they get a chance to.

This morning, after sleeping on my brother's couch, my mom woke me up with a phone call: "So...did you guys arrange for a way for you to get home?" "Ugh...yeah, Lavar's coming to pick me up. Remember?" "Oh, I thought you guys had made other arrangements." "Um...no? Because we decided that Lavar was going there anyway...so that's why I came to town." Sometimes I think my mom has a little bit of the Alzheimer's or something...because she tends to forget things...but it's okay, because I love her...and I'm there to help her out. So my stepdad came & gave me a ride back to Slick City...but dropped me off downtown, so I took Trax for the first time...and it was pretty cool. Speaking of which, the Frontrunner train from Ogden to Slick City started yesterday...on my birthday. Awesome. It's about time they finally had some kind of real public transportation here...but it's just in time for me to move to Vegas. Better late then never, I guess.

I wasn't feeling well this morning...because my brother's place is kinda messy, especially on his couch...so I'm hoping to get the day off work...and the supercool Camb is helping me out with that...but we shall see. Since I got home, I showered, and drank a lot of OJ to get over it...but yeah, I'd rather not work today. Not because I got drunk or anything yesterday (not a drop actually) but because...it's my birthday weekend...and I wanna relax...before I get a little sick for working during the week, when they probably need me there.

Anyway, that'll do it for today. Hopefully I'll be more entertaining tomorrow...but I'd like to thank all the cool cats who wished me a happy birthday yesterday - Bubbles, Cat, Alisa, Mickey, Heater, J-Dub, Lilie, JL Clyde, and all the others!!! Thank you so much!!! You guys rock...and I hope that your weekends were even more entertaining than mine. Have a groovy Sunday!!! GO EAGLES!!! Great pick with DeSean Jackson!!! I knew you were going to draft him...but luckily a round later than I expected. WOOOOO!!!

Birthday Eve

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

First off, a very happy birthday to Alfredo James Pacino today as he turns 68. He's one of greatest actors of all time...and the list of movies include "The Godfather" trilogy, "Scarface", "Scent of a Woman", "Dog Day Afternoon", "Serpico", "Heat", "Carlito's Way", "Insomnia", "Any Given Sunday", "Devil's Advocate", "Donnie Brasco", "Ocean's 13", even "Dick Tracy" as Big Boy. His newest "Righteous Kill" comes out soon, costarring Robert DeNiro & 50 Cent. Should be another classic. Anyway, have a great birthday buddy!!! I hope they don't make you work 18 hours today filming that Salvador Dali biopic.






Last night, I watched Guy Ritchie's latest movie (director of "Lock, Stock, & Two Smokin' Barrels", "Snatch", etc.) called "Revolver" starring Jason Statham, Ray Liotta, Andre Benjamin (Dre 3000 from Outkast) and others. It's about a former con man (Statham) who spent 7 years in jail for taking the fall...and is now looking to get paid. That's about all that I'm going to tell you at this point...because from there, it gets really awkward at times...but I would definitely recommend it, especially if you like Guy Ritchie (Mr. Madonna) movies.





Test Tube Meat - See what I miss when I'm too busy at work? Stories like these BEG me to make fun of them. The animal rights group PETA is putting up a million dollar reward for anyone who by 2012 can grow in-vitro meat that looks and tastes like the real thing. "In-vitro meat production would use animal stem cells that would be placed in a medium to grow and reproduce. The result would mimic flesh and could be cooked and eaten," PETA said in a statement. The million-dollar reward will go to the participant who manages by 2012 to put test-tube chicken into commercial production and successful sell it in at least 10 US states at a competitive price. The New York Times revealed Monday that the scheme almost triggered a civil war within the headquarters of the organization dedicated to fighting for animal rights but PETA argued the move would help avoid unnecessary suffering. "More than 40 billion chickens, fish, pigs, and cows are killed every year for food in the United States in horrific ways. In-vitro meat would spare animals from this suffering. In addition, in-vitro meat would dramatically reduce the devastating effects the meat industry has on the environment. Humans don't need to eat meat at all" since many people continued "to refuse to kick their meat addictions, PETA is willing to help them gain access to flesh that doesn't cause suffering and death."




Okay, so PETA's giving approval for stem cell research…as long as it's using animal stem cells. Aren't they some of the advocates for stopping stem cell research on humans? Actually, probably not…because humans aren't that important to them, right? Sorry, I'm not too familiar with PETA. Maybe somebody can shed some light for me. Too lazy to go to their website…and I don't want the government following me more than they already do. (Shhhhh, they're listening) Anyway, how do you make meat…without making the animal? Really? Is it going to be like the episode of South Park I saw the other day, where they grow ears (and other appendages) on the backs of rats…but instead of cartilage, it'll be a T-bone? I guess that's literally the million-dollar question. I like the idea of a PETA civil war over this though. "Now we're talking about growing test tube steaks? I thought we were trying to turn the world vegetarian." "No, don't you see? If they're in a test tube, they won't feel pain…and we'll be distracting scientists from finding cures for diseases…and instead finding an other other OTHER white meat." "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." "Oh yeah, well I've got a test tube steak for ya right here, granola boy!!!" Slap fight ensues. $teve laughs at the thought. Hahaha!!! Besides, I'm a big fan of stem cells, as you may know from my occasion updates in the world of science…such as they can now turn stem cells into heart cells. Yay scientists!!!




Penis Theft in the Congo - I couldn't make this sh*t up if I wanted to. Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft. Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur. Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure. Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.




Holy crap!!! So much disturbing information to take in those few sentences. Mother Afrika, I love ya…but you are one crazy place to live. Sure, here in America we tease little kids with "Oop, got your nose" and they enjoy it…but apparently it's universal that if you even pretend to take away a man's hood, they will lynch you. Even the police chief said, "I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke but when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it?" The Power of Suggestion, ladies & gentlemen. It's an incredible thing. Or maybe there really are mystics in the Congo shrinking heads & shafts and turning silverback gorillas into vicious killing machines…or maybe that was just a movie. Regardless, I'm glad that the police stepped in to save them…for now. Now there are three things that scare me…nuclear war, carnies, and penis theft.




Going Undercover - A police officer was forced to resign on Wednesday for having sex with a prostitute at a building he had been sent to investigate to see if it was a brothel. The police sergeant, who was not named, had "engaged in sexual activity with a sex worker" while on duty in east London in December 2005, the Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC) said. He was supposed to be finding out if the premises were being used for prostitution. You know, I'm not an officer of the law…or a lawyer or anything…but I would say, "Mission Accomplished!!!" That's what I call good police work. Going undercover, into enemy territory, infiltrating the trust of the organization, learning all the ins & outs of the operation, obtaining leads into subsidiaries and other markets, gathering evidence to be used in a court of law, and catching the perpetrators red-handed…or I guess, lotion-handed or whatever they were into at the time. All while earning a measly worker's salary and even offering to investigate when he wasn't "on the clock" as they say. Going above and beyond the call of duty. I say good show, sir. I'm sorry that your fellow (jealous) officers don't feel the same way. Oh well, I'm sure they'd hire you on at the brothel as a bouncer or something. Maybe it's a change for the better.




She's a Fox - According to FHM Magazine's annual 100 Sexiest Women in the World poll, star of "Transformers" Megan Fox is the world's sexiest woman. Honestly, I really can't argue with that. She's…absolutely gorgeous…and has those sexy eyes, bangin' smile, rockin' tatas, and…yeah, I'll go with that. I mean…nine million votes can't be wrong, right? Rounding out the top ten on the list were Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Elisha Cuthbert, Scarlett Johannsen, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Hilary Duff (WHAT???), Tricia Helfer, Blake Lively, and Kate Beckinsale. Friends of the blog made the list as well, like Angelina at #12, Adriana Lima was #36, Amanda Beard at #71, and my buddies Lindsay Lohan made the list at #16 & Li'l Shaky at #55, but in the biggest publicist move of all time - Britney Spears at Number 100. Oh...and Milla Jovovich didn't make the list...instead Meg from Family Guy did (Mila Kunis). That's almost as bad as Hilary Duff getting Number 7. Oh well, it's not my list…but yeah, can't argue with Megan Fox on top though…in any situation. She kind of reminds me of somebody…hmm…

"This is a nice V6 engine you've got here."

"You should see my straight 8."

"Do you HAVE to go to work today?"

"F**k that, I just quit."

It's a good thing that she has an extensive library...

Because as mentioned before, I understand "King Lear"

Anyway, that'll do it for me for today…my Birthday Eve. I'm doing some laundry now…but I'm going to hang with my dad & stepmom for the day, have some dinner, then my mom & the rest of the family are coming down tomorrow…so if you don't hear from me, don't worry. I'll just be having fun…and celebrating the 27th anniversary of my birth. Oh yeah, this just in, guess how I'm going to celebrate my birthday. I'm going to Chuck E. Cheese with my nieces and nephew and my family. If any of you want to come along & are going to be in Sandy tomorrow night, let me know. We can get you some tokens or something. Wow, I'm officially three cubed years old now. Awesome. Have a great weekend everybody!!! Call me if you wanna hang out Saturday night!!! I'm sure that the old people and kids will be going home before dark.

Unsolved Mysteries

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

I would just like to thank everybody who may or may not donate for Breast Cancer Awareness and Research for my birthday present…and apparently Carl's Jr. is getting in on it too. Well, not specifically for my birthday, I'm sure, but apparently they're giving away a great gamut of coupons for dollar donations to breast cancer awareness. Kudos to you, Carl's Jr. What are some of these coupons? For one, a dollar off any breakfast burrito (paid back already…and the money's still going to a worthy cause), free Western burger with purchase of another (that's like $4 saved), and many others. I think there was a shake involved for all you ice cream fanatics out there. That's right, I'm promoting fast food…to save the tatas. Also, not a big fan of Paris Hilton with Carl's Jr. but I couldn't find the hot truck driver girl in plaid on the internet. My apologies. Still, as long as she's not talking, Paris is almost tolerable. Like the city, as long as you don't have to smell it.


This morning, I walked out to my car…and luckily, it had rained overnight and into the morning, so there was a wonderful crisp, clean feeling in the air, which always makes for a good morning. I hopped in my car…and my seat was wet. Mother lover. I checked the window to see if it had been cracked open…but it was sealed up…and there wasn't any indication that it seeped through the window gaskets or anything…so why the hell was my ass wet now?



I could almost hear Robert Stack's baritone over the background piano music, "Slick City, Utah. 10 AM. Non-profit gigolo, Dr. Mookie Love walks out to his car on a beautiful clear day. He sits within his Buick Park Avenue…and realizes…that his ass…is now wet. Confused & hungry, he inspects the car for defaults…or any explanation of his newfound moistness…but there's no evidence. Carla Smith, a nosy bitch who lives near Dr. Love who asked not to be identified, said that there had been a few instances of DSD…or Driver's Seat Dampness reported in her sewing circle over the past few months. What could have caused it? Global climate? Shotty automobile design? UFOs? A jealous ex-lover (I wish)? Condensation? Ritual animal sacrifice? If you…or anyone you know has any information about Dr. Love's soaked backside, please call us here at Unsolved Mysteries at 1-800-876-5353. There may be a reward for your information…and don't forget to Save the Tatas."


Nerd Alert - So my brother called me last night to inform me that he had seen a preview for a new fighting game coming out called "Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe" where apparently you can fight as some of the favorite MK characters…against DC Superheroes. Though it's still in the early stages, some of the matchups could be really kick ass. Who doesn't want to see Scorpion versus Superman? Sub Zero versus Batman? Lui Kang versus the Flash? Or my personal favorite, Wonder Woman versus…Wonder Woman? Anyway, no real details other than internet rumors at this time…other than it's apparently going to happen…allegedly this fall. I'll be sure to keep you posted…because you may think that I'm a nerd now…but in junior high, I was a super nerd. I know, hard to believe. I actually drew up and made lists of synchronized commands for a fighting game…that brought a bunch of fighting games together like this…but it was just about all of them (Street Fighter, MK, Marvel, DC, Weaponlord, Darkstalkers, King of Fighters, Samurai Showdown, Killer Instinct, etc.) but yeah, then I kinda went away from all of that. It's all good though. I'll leave it to the professionals for the video games…and bringing that many corporate entities together would have just been a bother anyway.


Nerd Test - I scored just under 19%. Feel free to take the test for yourself…but I'm going to warn you, it's a little long…but you'll get used to it. Tehehe, if I had a nickel for every time I've said that…


Also, big thanks to Filly for cooking me up some kick-ass chicken alfredo last night as we watched new South Park episodes. Congratulations on your graduation next week!!! I hope your computer starts working soon...so yeah, this shout out's pretty worthless...but yeah, I told you last night. Congratulations!!! By the way, I loved the South Park episode where Cartman is teaching underpriviledged kids how to cheat...and it's a great parody of "Stand & Deliver" with Edward James Olmos. Check that out if you can. "How do I reach these keeeeds?" "I mis-interpreted the rrrrrules." Lots of stabs at the New England Patriots too.



Anyway, that should do it for today. I'd better get back to work or something because God knows this place won't run as smoothly without me. (Fingers crossed, hopefully Vegas comes calling soon) Have a great day everybody!!!