Call Me Meester Pig

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

First and foremost, a very happy birthday to my blonde buddy JJ in Denver, who's always a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. Sorry about the brevity of yesterday's entry (Lilie) but I was exhausted…and frankly, the game was on…and it was a good game. The Lakers won, so the season isn't over quite yet. There's at least a glimmer of hope. Anyway, enough about that, let's get to what happened over the weekend.


I'd like to say that I saw a movie Thursday night that was allegedly a comedy…but was easily one of the stupidest and most boring movies of all time. It's called "Smiley Face" and stars Anna Faris, Danny Masterson, & John Krasinski…but there's a reason that you haven't heard of it…because it's REALLY stupid…and that's a bold statement coming from me. It's the story of a lady pothead (Faris) and the 'adventures' that she has…doing absolutely nothing right. Now, it's a low budget independent film…but I've been surprised before…so I thought that I'd give it a shot. I'm regretting it now. Don't watch it. Don't fall for the "Like Harold & Kumar…but with a hot chick" kind of thing…because it is NOTHING like Harold & Kumar…though Harold (John Cho) is in it as a day player…along with Danny Trejo. Anyway, don't watch this movie. It's the new Flush It on my Stoner Movie list (sorry "Homegrown" but you weren't meant as a comedy anyway). Spend that 90 minutes of your life doing something else productive. Call up an old friend that you've been meaning to or something, anything but watch this movie. I also got a wonderful gift from Mickey, it's a talking Po from Kung Fu Panda (which I have still yet to see) from a value meal apparently. He kicks ass...and now he's in his natural environment...my crib. Skadoosh!!!



Friday morning, I woke up bright and early…because I double checking my packing and was expecting to be picked up around "Ten…10:30 at the latest" because my mom & stepdad had decided to wake up early…or so I was told. I called around 10:30 and they were just about to leave their house…which is over an hour away. Awesome. Two hours later, they pick me up at my house. Okay, it was to be expected…because I anticipated this & thus suggested that they try to show up early. If I hadn't done that, they might have picked me up around sunset. It's not their fault that I had plans to hang out with friends in Vegas…because it didn't concern them. Why should it, right? Anyway, can't complain because it was "a free ride" down there…and seriously, what was I expecting? I've traveled with them before. Kudos to my stepdad for not stopping every twenty minutes to take a ten minute leak (old age must suck) like last time.


Though we were already several hours late, they insisted on getting some lunch at La Taqueria (originally Café Rio but it proved to hard to find in Orem). So yes, I was to spend the next 6-8 hours in a truck with three 50-year olds after they had Mexican food. You know what though, it's like the Great Steve Miller once said, "You got to go through Hell before you…get to Heaven."


The drive wasn't actually that bad. It was scenic & beautiful outside the windows. We discussed gas prices of course (never thought the $75 limit on using credit cards would be a major issue until we needed to fill the tank) and how we were going to overcome them by using solar, wind, & magic power. That's right, I mentioned that I was going to be the first to design a sportscar that is fueled solely by hopes, dreams, and sexual frustration. I even mentioned the possibility of a car that runs on urine…so you may never have to stop at a convenience store ever again. Anyway, I'll keep you posted on how my car design comes through. Also, my mom & stepdad are really bad freeway drivers. My mom lacks the focus to pay attention to the road for more than thirty seconds at a time…and my stepdad has a hard time staying awake for more than an hour sitting up. Yet they wouldn't let me drive…because they're stubborn. With my mom, we came up with a new term called Gawk Blocking. It's when you keep the driver focused on keeping the truck on the road (before he/she hits those annoying yet apparently necessary shoulder bumps) because he/she is looking at the mountains out his/her side window. Luckily, I was sitting behind her…so I could see when she had a wandering eye. "Hey, watch the road Grandma." I like to throw that out there…because it's true…and she yells it to other drivers all the time…doing the exact same stuff that she does. Love ya mom. Here's what you miss sometimes as the driver on the trip from Slick City to Mesquite / Vegas…




Eventually we got to Mesquite…about three hours later than originally planned…and it took a half hour to get them checked in…so I was a little frustrated…but I got over it quickly once I called Bubbles to let her know that I was on my way & she was "super excited" to see me. The only bad part was that now I was driving pretty much into the sunset…in a truck...that I had never driven before…through the construction of North Las Vegas and to the other side of town…on a Friday night. Wasn't too happy about being given that set of circumstances…but I traversed it without resistance & made it to Bubbles' house. I was greeted by her & her 6-year old roommate Keanna. Now, the last time I was down there, Keanna did nothing other than peek around the corner…and then give out a girlish super screech and run into her room when she saw me (so she obviously liked me…but was a little kid). I heard Bubbles say to her through the doorway before it was opened, "This is my bestest buddy Cookie. Please don't scream this time, okay? He's my buddy." So then the door opens…and I'm greeted and Keanna's kind of shy and standing by the door, so I kneel down and say hi. She smiles and within a few seconds, she's asking me if I want to play. Little kids love me…eventually. They're just usually scared by my size first…but they warm up to me.


Bubbles & I got ready and went to meet up with a few of her friends & their daughter for dinner at Red Lobster. It was…well, dinner at Red Lobster. Good but not great, company was awesome though. We had a great time…and their 4-year old daughter was a cutie. After dinner, we took her back home so that her grandma could watch her…and then the four of us went to a Karaoke club at Imperial Palace Casino to have a few drinks & embarrass ourselves harmoniously. However, almost as soon as we got there…Bubbles started having a migraine…so after about an hour, it became unbearable, so we all headed home for the night. Here are some pictures before that happened though…

At least one wasn't too busy to pose...

HT & Bubbles

Hotchuma Hotchuma!!!

So basically that night, being the ultimate friend, I doubled as her Migraine Butler & helped her to find a dark, serene environment with extra strength Tylenol, cold water, wet rags for her forehead, and anything else that she needed. I was pretty tired anyway (stress from the drive) so it's all good. The next morning, she was feeling a little better. So we decided to hang out at her house with her roommates. Keanna & I played games like drawing, throwing blankets on each other, and the like. Her roommates made a wonderful lunch with pork chops, Mac & cheese, corn on the cob, salad, and mashed potatoes. It was delicious. However, they were also getting their air conditioner fixed midday…when it was about 107…and that wouldn't have been so bad…if Keanna wasn't so damn squealy…and Barbie's little rat dog Bocephus (after Hank Williams jr) wasn't yapping at the repair man every few minutes…so that caused Bubbles' migraines to get worse again…so we decided to leave & hang out at my hotel room, air conditioned & away from loud noises.


Keanna & Me

Barbie & Bocephus (AC was out)

Bubbles & Keanna

Oh, we also met up with a former Boss Lady of mine Isadora who works at the hotel that I was staying at. I mentioned to her my situation (hiring freeze at potential employer, nobody seems to be hiring in the area right now, ready to move, etc.) and she made a few calls right there because she had remembered something about a position they've been trying to find a good fit for at her hotel. Now, I had investigated that hotel before…and this position…but it had mentioned management requirements and stuff that I didn’t have per se. She talked with the guy in charge of that department…and long story short, good starting salary, pay for relocation, 12 month commitment (or I have to give the relocation back), and I should definitely apply…and it's pretty much the same position that I was applying for at the other hotel. So yeah, I may have to throw my hat into the ring (or however that saying goes) and see what happens. Yeah, I was trying to avoid a workplace on the Strip…but it's easy access from all angles (that's what she said) and its financial situation is a lot more stable…because it's with timeshares instead of hotels, so the money's paid in advance. They're building extra towers while other hotels are laying off managers. It might not be a bad situation for me. I'm definitely going to look into it. I'll keep you posted as always.



Anyway, back to the trip. Bubbles & I basically hung out at the hotel room watching TV at a low volume, with the lights out, ordered a Hawaiian pizza (surprisingly bad for the price), tried to ease her pain with my sultry Barry White baritone voice, and eventually lulled her to sleep. So I used that time to make a few calls, order the pizza, set up the time to pick up the oldies in Mesquite, say hi to the Wingman & Mrs. Wingman to set up lunch the next day…but the next day was Father's Day & Mrs. Wingman's birthday…so they already had plans. It's all good though. Then I flipped through the channels and watch parts of probably half a dozen movies like "Braveheart", "Sleepless in Seattle" (she was awake for that one), "Scary Movie" on Comedy Central, and so on. Bubbles wasn't sleeping well, having nightmares, so I was there if she needed a glass of water, a comforting rub on the shoulder, back, or neck, a reassuring word, and anything else. Sure, it's not the wild weekends that Vegas is famous for…but honestly, I went there to hang out with Bubbles…and that's what I was doing. Besides, I'd hate to think of her having serious migraines like that…and having to deal with her roommates and their squealing daughter & dog…without air conditioning (which wasn't fixed until 1 AM apparently). See? Things happen for a reason. She was miserable the weekend before in San Diego because her sister was less than helpful…but that's why she has a friend like me. We should all be so lucky.


Sunday morning, we had a fairly early checkout of 10 AM (would've been a lot worse if we had actually partied) so we checked out and went to the Sunday Brunch at Fiesta Henderson again. Great value for $12.99 and a full buffet complete with mimosas & crab legs. Oh…and fortune cookies. Yesterday, my fortune cookie said, "Focus on yellow tomorrow to achieve success…in bed." So either I'm looking for a beautiful Asian today…or I'm going to have bladder problems. We had a great breakfast, Bubbles' headache was gone & she was ever so grateful, and we even spent a few bucks gambling before heading back to her house.


It was already around noon by the time we got back to her house, so I was only able to hang out for about an hour before heading back to Mesquite / Slick City. If I were truly a prick, I would've left about three hours later…but I'm not…and like I said, it was a free ride down. So a few minutes into "Dragonheart" (really wanted to see Dina Meyer in that one), I had to leave…and I did so with big hugs from Bubbles & Keanna (who comprise all of the people in the world who call me Cookie).


We drove back pretty event free…except that I was trying to sleep…but couldn't because (as stated) my mom & stepdad drive like crap so I would doze off, then the truck would suddenly jerk and slam my head into the "Oh sh*t!" handle. Not the window…the "Oh sh*t" handle…right in the temple…because I love being so tall. So yeah, after a few deep brain bruises, I just stayed awake and gawk blocked my mom while she drove. We eventually made it back to my house a little after 9 PM and I immediately called Bubbles to let her know that I had made it home safe & sound. After that, blogged for a few seconds, watched the end of the game, and then some Family Guy & a new Venture Brothers episode. All of which were awesome…then slept like a babe until I came to work. Oh yeah, thanks Mom...for the wonderful little book of Hand Shadows. I'll be sure to put it to good use with my projector TV. Always great with the gifts...



So my Vegas adventure really wasn't much of an adventure per se…but it served it's purpose. I got to hang out with my buddy Bubbles, have fun, find out about job opportunities, and not work. All the important stuff about a good vacation. Big ups to JL Clyde for covering for me on Saturday last minute…and to Lilie for her help on Friday. You ladies rock!!! Next time you're in Vegas, I'll hook ya up…hopefully. That's really about all that I have for today. Again, happy birthday to JJ in Denver!!! We haven't forgotten you. Have a great day everybody!!!