Friday, February 1, 2008

All You Need Is Dr. Love

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Happy 60th posthumous birthday to the one, the only, James Ambrose Johnson, jr. a.k.a. Rick James!!! Raised by his mother in the mean streets of Buffalo, New York, he learned to play the guitar and become a pioneer of funk in the 70's and 80's. His lust for the night life is legendary, he has worked with some of the greatest names in music, and even had a sort of career Renaissance when his popularity was reignited by Dave Chappelle's skit show a few years back. Unfortunately, as mentioned in that legendary interview, "Cocaine's a hell of a drug" and that (along with a postmortum toxicology report that included Xanax, Vallium, Wellbutrin, Vicodin, Meth, Coke, Lanoxin, and others) led to an untimely death in 2004.

Last night, I went and saw a free showing of "Across the Universe" at the University of Utah with JL Clyde. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Think of it as "Moulin Rouge" with Beatles music...and a little more clothing. It tells the story of a young man from Liverpool named Jude who goes to America to meet his father for the first time (world war II baby). His journey takes him to Princeton, he meets his father, meets an American guy, meets the American guy's sister, and a love story ensues. Set in the 1960's (much like the Beatles music), there's also a lot of beautiful, artistic montages and special guest stars. Bono makes a brief appearance. Eddie Izzard stops by. Joe Cocker is a pimp...and a hippie...and a bum...simultaneously. How great of a movie is it? Well. let's say that you're watching the movie...and you think to yourself, "You know what would be good right here...Salma Hayek in a nurse's outfit." This movie...will give you FIVE Salma Hayeks in nurse's outfits. CGI is a wonderful thing. Also, any movie that starts out with "Is there anybody going to listen to my story?" and ends with "All you need is Love", then I'm going to listen to that guy's story. I recommend that you rent it when it comes out on Tuesday. There's also the sexiest rendition of "Hold Your Hand" since the last time I sang it in public. I'm going to get the soundtrack next time I head to Best Buy.

That's a LOT of Popcorn - I realize that a lot of you don't care about football...and I'm sorry for that. I know the Super Bowl is two days away...but I just thought that I'd share a little Karmic justice that came through the legal parameters. Everybody's favorite whiny baby receiver Terrell Owens has been ordered by the NFL to repay nearly $800,000 of his signing bonus from 2004 when he signed a multi-year contract with the NFL's greatest team to not win a championship since Eisenhower was in office, the Philadelphia Eagles. After a year where they made it to the Super Bowl, T.O. wasn't getting top billing...so he cried and made comments about his quarterback, Donovan McNabb...and complained about management...so they decided to bench his sorry ass and eventually kick him off the team. Anyway, he's paying some money back...and he cried after losing in the playoffs this year...so be careful how you treat others...that pay you millions of dollars to play a game. Consider it a blessing.

Bury Me in a Benz - In the suburb of Teshie, Ghana in Mother Afrika, there is a rather unusual company Paa Joe Works that handcrafts coffins. What makes these caskets unique though...is that they make them in the shapes of a wide variety of objects, such as an airplane, lion, cucumber, tomato, lobster, shoe, snake, a WWII gun, a Coke bottle, and a white Mercedes-Benz. Manager Emmanuel Doku said, ""We have customers from all round the world. The idea is that you order a coffin to reflect what the person has done in their life. So the lobster could be for a fisherman, the cucumber for a grocer, the aeroplane for someone who has worked in the airline industry, or perhaps who used to fly a lot for his job." This is an awesome idea...but I'm surprised that nobody has special ordered a Cadillac yet. I'm going to have to check out the website to see how much one of these things cost...but God willing, I have plenty of time to think about it. I wonder if Rick James would be buried in a bottle of Coke...Coca-Cola, of course.

You know, sometimes I think about silly stuff...like what my legacy is going to be. Obviously I'm not a big political figure or a pioneer of funk music (RIP Rick James) or anything of worldwide epic consequence (yet) but yeah, I wonder sometimes. Sure, I make people laugh all the time...and I try to be a great dude everyday...and all the stuff that most people do all the time. However, I wonder what it'd say on my tombstone (150 years from now) and what would be said of me...and exactly how long I might be remembered...and in what light. I guess it really wouldn't matter. I mean...I'm sure that my great-great-great-grandpa was a pretty awesome dude...and a farmer or cobbler or something...but I have no idea. Basically, because his legacy breaks down to what he taught his children...and in turn what they taught their children...and so on...and so on...until I get tasty Thinkin' McNuggets from my dad like "Hey, sh*t happens." You're absolutely right, dad. It does happen...and hopefully, it's the good kind. I guess the key is to take it one day at a time and do your best in everything that you do. I'll keep you posted on my impending legacy...but it probably won't be for a while...so stay tuned. In the meantime, I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and trying to live to the fullest.

Another New Nightmare - Did anybody see "Freddy vs. Jason" when it came out in 2002? No? Me neither. I CHOSE to watch "The Medallion" with Jackie Chan and Jennifer Love Hugetits instead...but since it was at a drive-in, I did catch the hilarious last few minutes...and I believe my exact words were "Are you sh*tting me?" Guess what. They're bringing Freddy & Jason back...but this time, in separate movies. The "Friday the 13th" remake will be directed by Marcus Nispel ("Pathfinder" & "Texas Chainsaw Massacre") but nothing is really in the works for the "Nightmare on Elm Street" remake until the writer's strike is over. Will Johnny Depp reprise his role from the original? Doubtful. How about other stars like Laurence Fishburne, Patricia Arquette, or some of the others who have graced Elm Street? My guess would be no. At least Robert Englund still has a job. After watching "2001 Maniacs" with my mom a few months back...he could use it.

That's really about it for tonight, I guess. More tomorrow...probably. I work late...and bore easily. Have a great weekend everybody!!! Happy February!!!

2 comments:

j.l. clyde said...

"learn french... learn french or die."

$teve said...

She came in through the bathroom window...

Where should I go next?