President's Day

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Today is President's Day, a celebration of past American leaders & visionaries as well as a day off for most government workers. Congratulations to them. I, however, will be working because my employer is The Man as opposed to Big Brother. Though primarily dedicated to two Presidents with conveniently-close birthdays, George Washington & Abraham Lincoln, being a President during any time is a trying occupation of both mental & physical stamina. Just look at what it did to other great presidents like the FDR, JFK, and JKP (James Knox Polk for those of you who didn't attend an elementary school by that name). I could go on & on about past greats, the current race for the Presidency, or any number of political & historical references to my country…but I'd like to just ramble a bit about the American spirit…taking place in the Balkans.


Kosovo Independence - Yesterday, a decade after a bloody separatist war with Serbian forces that claimed 10,000 lives, lawmakers pronounced there to be a new territory, the Republic of Kosovo, and pledged to make it a "democratic, multiethnic state." Its leaders looked for swift recognition from the U.S. and key European powers but also prepare for a bitter showdown, because Serbia & ally Russia denounce the declaration and say it's illegal. In the capital of Pristina, the mood was jubilant. Thousands of ethnic Albanians braved subfreezing temperatures to ride on the roofs of their cars, singing patriotic songs and chanting: "KLA! KLA!" the acronym for the now-disbanded rebel Kosovo Liberation Army. They waved American flags alongside the red Albanian banner imprinted with a black, double-headed eagle. Kosovo's leaders signed their names on a giant iron sculpture spelling out "NEWBORN" before heading to a sports hall for a performance of Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" by the Kosovo Philharmonic Orchestra.


Oddly enough, it wasn't under completely different circumstances that the United States started. Perhaps that's why the US and the European Union were so quick to recognize them. However, for a decade after we boldly declared our independence, there was a lot of bloodshed…and that was in the days of muskets that it took a few minutes to reload. Now we have guns that rattle off up to ten shots per second, bombs & missiles that destroy entire cities, and a lot more people for targets. I pray for a peaceful resolution and hope that Kosovo can be a recognized, independent nation without horrendous amounts of bloodshed. However, I also realize that nation-states rely on resources…and independent states in the Middle East, Africa, and occasionally here in the New World haven't worked so well over the past few thousand years. Let's try to be different though. We can do this. Congratulations to the new Balkan nation!!! I wish you the best…and pray that the worst doesn't happen. Speaking of wastes of money like War…here's the news…


Who's #1? - In the United Arab Emirates, a license plate with nothing but the number "1" on it went for a record $14 million at a charity auction Saturday. Saeed Khouri, a member of a wealthy Abu Dhabi family (rich by real estate, not oil), wouldn't say how many automobiles he owned or which of them might carry the record-breaking single-digit plate…but he did have this to say. "I bought it because it's the best number. I bought it because I want to be the best in the world." At least the guy has ambition. The record sale surpassed the $6.8 million that was paid for an Emirate license plate at an earlier auction with the number "5" on it. At least it was for charity…and the total money raised from 90 plates that day was $24 million. Big ups to them…but still, that's a LOT of money for a license plate.


Millions for Pennies - One man's collection of 301 cents featured some of the rarest and earliest examples of the American penny, including one that was minted for two weeks in 1793 but was abandoned because Congress thought Lady Liberty looked frightened. That coin and a 1794 penny with tiny stars added to prevent counterfeiters each raised hundreds of thousands of dollars…but when all was said and done, the grand total of the auction raised some $10.7 MILLION. Now, I understand inflation and all that…but it seems a little excessive when a monetary system works like this. One thing's for sure though. I'm holding onto my pennies from now on. No more stops by the railroad tracks for me. By the way, did you know that for every penny made in a mint, it costs three cents to make it? Think about that for a second.


New Bond Car? - Swiss car manufacturer Rinspeed will be unveiled the world's first real submersible car at the Geneva Motor Show next month. The convertible sports car transforms into an underwater vehicle in which passengers breathe with the help of compressed air masks and is propelled by electric motors. Though the sales price wasn't disclosed, Rinspeed's head, Frank Rinderknecht, is a huge James Bond enthusiast who has dreamed of making the amphibious vehicle come true…calling the car, the Squba. "For three decades I have tried to imagine how it might be possible to build a car that can fly under water. Now we have made this dream come true. It is undoubtedly not an easy task to make a car watertight and pressure resistant enough to be maneuverable under water. The real challenge however was to create a submersible car that moves like a fish in water." Sounds like an awesome ride to me. Still a little skeptical about the idea of a drop-top sportscar that can go underwater…but I heard good things about Swiss engineering…and if their underwater vehicles are anything like their chocolate or cuckoo clocks, they've got a customer. Well, at least when I get into the proper tax bracket. I can already imagine taking a girl on a first date on that car. "Wanna do something really crazy?" "Like what?" Slam on the gas pedal, fly off the side of a road, and hand her an air mask as we splash into a lake. Screaming all the while. Tell me that's not romantic. It'll definitely get the adrenaline and endorphins going. Hmm, on second thought, maybe I shouldn't be allowed to drive one of those cars.


Guitar Hero: Aerosmith - Not that Guitar Hero or video games are ever a waste of time & money (though you could probably learn to play a real guitar in the same time), but due to the amazing success of the Guitar Hero series, plans have been announced for a "Guitar Hero: Aerosmith" game coming out this summer featuring more than thirty hits from the Boston-raised supergroup. This strategy combined with downloadable songs for current games like "Rock Band" have really helped the "struggling" music industry sales wise, while taking video gaming into different directions too. Personally, I can't wait to start ripping out "Angel" like Joe Perry while doing my best Steve Tyler impersonation on vocals. I guess we'll just have to wait & see if it comes to the PS3…but I'm sure that it will…somehow.


So THAT's Where They Go - Every time I watch the Super Bowl, the game will be over, and a champion will be crowned. Instantly, there are hundreds if not thousands of, for example, "NY Giants: 2008 World Champion" T-shirts and hats in the stands and on the victorious players. Being the numbers guy that I am though, I've always wondered where the alternative "New England Patriots: 2008 World Champions" apparel went…and now I know…into the hands of the land of the Great Bungholio, Nicaragua. World Vision has links with the National Football League, or NFL, and every year helps out poor children in Latin America and Africa with the unwanted "winners" shirts of the team that actually loses the Super Bowl. This is how I like to see recycling work out for everybody. I'd still like to have a "Philadelphia Eagles: 2006 World Champions" shirt just to see how many people watch sports…but alas, I'm sure that the poor Ethiopian children that have them appreciate them much more.


Also, I watch an okay independent movie last night called "The Amateurs" starring Jeff Bridges, Joey Pants, Tim Blake Nelson, William Fichtner, Ted Danson, Jeanne Tripplehorn, and Lauren Graham. It's a story after my own heart…about a bunch of small town buddies who decide a good way to make money is to tap into the $12 billion industry of porno by making their own film. It's pretty funny and considering that I've written a little script about guys deciding to make a porno to raise money, I would recommend it…but still think that my movie would be better. To bad it'll probably never see that light of day because I can't afford real actors…and the buddies that I wrote the parts for have much better things to do. Anyway, check out Lebowski making a porn with Joey Pants and a bunch of other B-list actors. If nothing else, Lauren Graham is in it briefly…and no, there's no nudity in this movie just to get that out of the way…but Lauren Graham is really hot. I'm not sure what it is…but I just love to look at her eyes and see that dimply smile of hers. Simply can't believe that she's 40. Hopefully she's a cougar or something. Anyway, check out the flick if you get the chance.


That'll do it for this evening I guess. Lots of stuff going on in the NBA…but I'm sure that you don't really care about it…so I'll stop and keep it to myself. The Slam Dunk Contest was awesome though. I finally saw the highlights from it last night…but thought Gerald Green was a little robbed. Oh well, better luck next year buddy. Have a great night everybody!!!