Ren & Stimpy Rock!!!

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yesterday, I covered for Bubbles at work. It was okay though…because I was trying to figure out what to do with my day anyway…and I found out shortly after that my brother & sister-in-law were being hormonal on the same cycle…so I was glad to dodge that bullet. Oh well. Young lovers, right? It just means that I have another day off later in the week (fingers crossed) so maybe I'll have some social life stuff going on. Yippee!!! In the meantime though, I'll just be giving out my opinion like a pamphlet as always. "STEP RIGHT UP!!! Pros & Cons of Sexbots…hot off the presses!!!"

Last night after work, JL Clyde & I watched "Ren & Stimpy: The Lost Episodes" that were on loan from the Mad Scientist's laboratory (by the way, check out his photo blog once he gets it up and running). Now, as a kid, I was a huge fan of the Nickelodeon show Ren & Stimpy. It was unique, different, and oftentimes disgusting...as well as exaggerated & hilarious. However, aside from occasionally singing the "Happy Happy Joy Joy" song whenever I need a pick-me-up, I haven't really seen any episodes in about a decade. I saw the old episode were being released at the usual $40 per season...but didn't buy any...because I was too busy buying adult cartoons like South Park, Simpsons, Drawn Together...and still waiting for Duckman. Then the Mad Scientist told me that "The Lost Episodes" were basically the same artists & writers (check out the blogs for John K and the lovely Katie Rice a.k.a. Funny Cute along with links to other great artists) just without the PG-rated Nickelodeon censorship...and a fully R-rated Spike TV Renwick & Stimpington show.

It did not disappoint. The first episode was called "Naked Beach Party" and it was full of lusciously drawn girls, sexual innuendo (and pure flat-out pervertry), and my new favorite superhero, Shampoo Master. A total of six episodes (so over three hours) are on this DVD set...complete with a lot of extras like interviews & introductions from John K, Weird Al Yankovic, and a multitude of artists, writers, fans, and anybody else involved with the show. As you may expect, there are a few moments where you may question what you're watching...and feel a little dirty for watching it...but it's okay...because you'll make it through the rabbit hole. Trust me, it's worth a gander...and once again, check out the artist blogs. Help support their trade.

This morning, I got a call from Mr. & Mrs. Wingman...and they want to go to the beach in the next few weeks...so we'll see if I'm going to have some beautiful pictures of the Pacific Coast sooner than expected. We shall see in the next few days how that turns out...you know, with the work situation and all. We may be going to southern Cali (San Diego, Coronado Island, Laguna Niguel, etc.) since it's still February...but wherever, it'll be awesome. I also flipped through the channels and watched a few episodes of "Passport to Europe" with Samantha Brown on the Travel Channel. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before...but I want Samantha's job...officially. Sure, she's cute & perky...and presentable in front of a camera...but I want to be the cat in front of the camera going on about how cool (location) is & showing all the cool stuff to do. Today's episodes were Monaco & the south of France (which I've already blogged about a few of the locations that she mentioned) and then Edinburgh, Scotland, where I have also experienced back in April 2004. It's the reason that I keep my job still - the travel benefits...but to be PAID to talk about my travels...that'd be awesome...and lead to more traveling...so holla at your boy, Travel Channel. I can appeal to the female demographic. It's what I do on all my trips when I have female companions. I'll show them where to shop, give the educational & hysterically historical side of the city, take them to dinner at the finest restaurants, walk along the picturesque beaches, dance the native dances, show them the sexiest bedrooms in the country, and if the camera operator wants to stick around for the after party...well, maybe we'll just fade to black and roll credits. What do you guys think? Would you watch me?

A Wal-Mart Jackpot - An employee of a Valparaiso, Indiana Wal-Mart has been charged with theft for repeatedly making purchases to get change from a self-service cash register that was dispensing $20 bills instead of $1 bills. A store security official said $20 and $1 bills were loaded in the wrong slots of the self-service register. The mistake wasn't noticed until a customer complained that the machine gave a $1 bill in change instead of a twenty…but by then an employee had made ten purchases over a 4.5 hour period and collected about $600. He's been fired obviously. However, this brings up my own little thing about getting change.
The other night, I went to Carl's jr. drive-thru for lunch…and I love it when I don't have change…and my total is something like $2.14, so I give the cashier a twenty dollar bill, a dime, and four pennies. Then the fun begins. He or she will hand me back a handful of change and a few bills. "No dude, I gave you $20.14, so I should just be getting $18 back." "Oh really? Oh okay…your total was $2.14 though." "Yeah…so if I gave you twenty dollars and fourteen cents…and you take two dollars and fourteen cents away…that's eighteen dollars." Stunned stare. "Okay" goes and comes back with thirteen dollars. "Eighteen yo. Eighteen." "Is no eighteen?" "No. Is no eighteen." "Oh okay" returns with another five dollar bill to even it up. Honestly, whenever I'm in a situation where the situation is in MY favor to not mention their horrible math, I consider the extra two bucks or whatever as a tip for paying attention in math class as a kid…but it gets frustrating. Is it just me? I have no problem with doing it on a real person…so why would I have a problem with doing it with a robot? Is it really stealing? I'm not a lawyer…but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Too Good To Be True - Beware well-dressed Cowboy fans in Dallas, Texas. About a half-dozen men have reported falling victim to a scheme involving flirtatious women targeting well-dressed men at bars & clubs…and drugging them to swipe their watches, wallets, and dignity. One man was hurt after possibly being beaten with a high-heeled shoe, police said. Another lost his wallet while in his car with his pants around his ankles. "I don't know if so much it's that the men are being attracted to them, as that (the suspects) are more or less forcing themselves on the men," Dallas detective Mark Jenkins said. So just keep that in mind the next time a beautiful woman buys you a drink…she may be slipping you something and taking advantage of you too. Wait, did I say too at the end of the sentence? That's wrong. Try to pick up women the old fashioned way…with wit & charm…and then go home alone…with your Rolex still intact. Okay, so it's a Swatch…it's still yours dammit. I'm really curious though if that guy that woke up with his pants down took them down himself (you know because it was getting warm or something, right?) or if the 'attacker' just took them down afterwards, put him in a silly pose, and took pictures or something. Not that I would have done something like that with an inebriated person (or have in the past). "Tehehee, look at this guy. He's grabbing himself and picking his nose at the same time. You can see the tan line where his watch used to be too. Priceless."

"Big" Movies

Medal Winners

Gold - The Big Lebowski (1998) - Come on now. You knew this one was going to win. Great movie. If you haven't seen it (repeatedly) you should. It's funny as hell. Every single time. You don't really need me to elaborate on this movie even more. Just ask yourself every morning, "Are you a Lebowski achiever?"

Silver - Big Trouble in Little China (1986) - I actually watched this movie earlier today. John Carpenter directed this movie starring Kurt Russell and Kim Cattrall as a pair of unlikely heroes trapped in a mystical battle in Chinatown. Basically, Jack Burton (Russell) is a trucker who has to save his buddy's fiancé from an immortal sorcerer who is trying to marry her because she has green eyes (and what beautiful eyes they are) and another lady who has green eyes (Cattrall) and the sorcerer also has three evil cronies to sick on him too. I still think that this movie heavily inspired the Mortal Kombat video game in many, many ways…but it's just a great 80's action-comedy to watch with the homies. I also like to reminisce about Kim Cattrall back in the Mannequin days. Kurt Russell's always gold too. "Captain Ron", "Tango & Cash", "Escape from ____", "Death Proof", "Tombstone", "Tequila Sunrise", "Overboard", "The Thing", all great flicks.

Bronze - Big (1988) - Who doesn't remember Tom Hanks & Robert Loggia doing chopsticks on the giant keyboard? Who does believe in the power of the Great Zoltan? Who hasn't dreamed of being Big…even before Extenze and all these other commercials I see on late night? Great flick for anybody to watch…anytime. Teaches the joys of being a kid and just waiting for life to take it's course…enjoying every moment…and that in the heart of every woman…lies the seeds of pedophilia. By that, I mean that they really want somebody that's extremely immature & childish…but looks like a young Tom Hanks…and is big. Objections?

Suggestion - The Big Hit (1998) - Always surprised with how few people have seen this movie starring Marky Mark, Lou Diamond Phillips, Elliott Gould, Christina Applegate, Bokeem Woodbine, and Antonio Sabato, jr. It's about Melvin Smiley (Marky Mark) who's a hitman transfixed on making other people happy (yes, a hitman who gets physically ill…when others don't like him…takes a stretch of the imagination) and then is betrayed by one of his hitman buddies (Phillips) and then they're trying to take him out. It's an action-comedy movie…with lots of emphasis on the action (thank God, cuz it's really not THAT funny). Anyway, you might wanna check it out. It's silly…and packs firepower. Oh…and check out "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure" and "Big Top Pee-Wee" if you want too. Those are actually kind of funny.

Flush It - Big Bully (1996) - Rick Moranis and Tom Arnold star in…let's face it, do I really need to give you any details about the movie when it starts with "Rick Moranis & Tom Arnold star in…"? It's not really good. It's actually quite stupid. Rick Moranis is a little guy. Tom Arnold's a big bully. Watch "Revenge of the Nerds" if you wanna watch a good movie about the same subject. Wasn't a big fan of the parody "My Big Fat Independent Movie" either…but it was low budget and trying to piggy back on the success of good independent movies. You can't hate on them for trying.

Future Watch - Biggie Movie (2009) - I think the working title right now is "Notorious" but it's going to be a movie based on the life & times of Christopher Wallace a.k.a. Notorious B.I.G. There were a lot of rumors about Antoine Fuqua ("Training Day") directing…but right now it looks like it'll be George Tillman, jr. ("Men of Honor" and "Soul Food") with singer Sean Kingston playing Biggie. He's the guy that sings "Beauuuuuutiful Girl" so we'll see how it works out. I wonder if the Coen brothers would consider doing a "Big Lebowski Too" when they're not making award-winning movies. You know, there is a little Lebowski on the way, if I remember the first one correctly. Hmm…

Anyway, that should do it for tonight. May be having a Movie Night tomorrow night if anybody's interested. May also being having a southern California road trip going on...if any of you hot, single ladies can get a week off from work. Anyway, hope you're all having a great weekend. Peace!!!