Football's New Year's Eve!!!

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yesterday, I spent the day at work with Kelli with an I and it was most intriguing. Little did I know, that she has a certain…we'll call it, obsession with Hannah Montana a.k.a. Miley Cyrus a.k.a. Destiny Hope Cyrus (all found out courtesy of Kelli). She shared some of her music with me as well…complete with dance routines & karaoke singing. It was quite exhilarating. Why would I allow this to happen, you may be asking? First, she casually mentioned something about "Underwear Parties" that she has with her friends to this very day…and if you ever need to get a man's attention, mention something like that. Letting her listen to Hannah Montana also made her day…so that's the main reason that I did it. Always willing to put a smile on a lady's face…even if it means listening to kiddie bop. "Thanks $teve, you're one in a million." "I know…but that just means there's about 6,000 of me in the world. Still…not bad company." After the album was done, I was rewarded with "Jessie's Girl" by Rick Springfield.

Last night, I hung out with JL Clyde & Filly watching silly movies like "Hellion: The Devil's Playground" with an accompanying drinking game of "Whenever there's a demonic act, you drink." There are a LOT of demonic acts in this movie...and not just the Australian acting. It's about a cubbyhouse that has a mysterious, satanic link...and it causes the vines to grab people...and possesses the young children of a family that just moved in. It is what it is...and that's hilarious to watch. Then again, maybe I just had too many drinks. Who knows? Here's the news...

Double Dipping Disperses Disease - I question the timing of this announcement…but be careful today at your Super Bowl Party…because according to a researcher inspired by Seinfeld (still investigating the Theory of Shrinkage), there is a real risk of infestation. Professor Paul Dawson of Clemson University (2nd best school in South Carolina) concluded, "I like to say it's like kissing everybody at the party — if you're double dipping, you're putting some of your bacteria in that dip." His research showed that, on average, with every three to six double dips…there would be about 10,000 bacteria transferred from the eater's mouth to the dip solution. So next time you're at your family's Super Bowl party…and you see Uncle Bob giving the old Deuce Dip into that Con Queso bean dip…just remember…scooping that Frito is like giving him a big sloppy South Carolina howdy. Then again…if you're at a college party…and you see that girl that you've had a crush on for a while scoops a little salsa on her cool ranch Doritos, you can casually make your way over there…and have a little Essence d'Hottie to go with your spicy nacho chip. Mmm, caliente. Anyway, be safe out there everybody. Snack wisely.

Developing the Midas Touch - U.S. researchers said they have made a three-dimensional structure for particles of GOLD using DNA (deoxyrhibonucleic acid) and this could lead to the development of other custom-designed materials. For generations, scientists have tried to figure out a way to make gold. Whether it's bombarding lead with protons to give it that one extra proton into the nucleus needed to magically change it into gold, educating iron pyrite, or having ugly little people spin it out of gold in exchange for other favors, all coming up short in the end. Now, they are on the verge of customizing DNA to make…well, essentially ANYTHING if they get the plans right. Now, I'm not going to bore you with the details of how this is done (you should remember from chemistry & biology classes anyway) but they're trying to work out the kinks…like the particles being one / 13 billionth of a meter in size, so essentially fine gold dust…but it's only a matter of time…and a matter of man over nature. Stay tuned for Jurassic Park opening in 2025.

You Have To Think Like a Rat - Researchers at Kinki University in Japan (Where else would a Kinki University be? Thailand?) have implanted a small camera measuring 3 mm long, 2.3 mm wide, and 2.4 mm in depth (less than 1/100th of a cubic inch) into the brain of a mouse to see how memory is formed. This experiment is to help understand the mysteries of the human mind and cure ailments such as Parkinson's Disease. The camera, along with an injected dye that will show blue when there is brain activity, will show what areas are effected by certain stimuli and can then be tracked visually. Frankly, the idea of a camera in someone's brain doesn't sound interesting. I've seen the Discovery Channel and where they've stuck camera's before…and there are just some places that they should never go. Nothing makes me change the channel quicker than seeing some journey down this mysterious tunnel and then hearing an announcer say something like "Here in the lower intestines, you can see a piece of filet mignon that the subject started digesting in the summer of 2003." However, I'm waiting for the later experiments at Kinki University (as well as a brochure for possible transfer) when they get the cameras inside the brain that show WHAT the subject is thinking instead of where. That could get very interesting…and sexy. This picture on the left doesn't show the backside of the head...but I'm guessing it looks something like this.

"Super" Movies - In honor of the Super Bowl

Medal Winners

Gold - Superman (1978) - The Richard Donner classic starring the late Christopher Reeve as everybody's favorite son of Krypton, Gene Hackman as Lex Luthor, Margot Kidder as Lois Lane, Ned Beatty as Otis, and even Marlon Brando as Jor-El. Oh…and who can forget Terence Stamp as Zod - "Son of Jor-El, KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!!" Okay, so that was in number two…but still, awesome. Of course, I have the extended version of the original at home (because I saw it for four bucks at Wal-Mart) but yeah, it's a classic. It sets the stage for one of literature greatest and most complex characters…but then falls off once they get to movie number three…and has yet to recover.

Silver - Superbad (2007) - For a movie with no real star power, this movie sure made a lot of money…and fittingly so, because it's hilarious. Starring a cast of "You know, that kid from…" and "The guy from 40-year old virgin…" and "That chick that's in Juno…" but yeah, just trust me. It's a great movie. Chances are…if you read this blog…then you've seen it at least once. Everybody knows McLovin.

Bronze - Super Troopers (2001) - This compelling story about Vermont state troopers launched Broken Lizard into the stratosphere and made Jay Chandrasekhar a household name. No? Not a household name? Oh, well then, at least it gave him a gig like directing "The Dukes of Hazzard" movie too. Anyway, one of the many reasons that I considered moving to Vermont (not really) and the reason that I chugged a bottle of sweet maple syrup in a race ("I am ALL that is MAN!!!") but just a hilarious romp throughout. Check it out.

Suggestion - Super Fly (1972) - Do you like blaxploitation movies for the seventies? Me too. Super Fly is a cocaine dealer looking for a way out of the game…so he plans to sell a big score and then ride off into the sunset with a half-dozen ladies in his Cadillac…but the Mob doesn't like it. From director Gordon Parks, jr. ("Three the Hard Way" with Jim Brown, Jim Kelly, & Fred Williamson…for another classic) comes this story of…well, pimpin', slangin' dope, and all the other stuff that rap music is about…like stickin' it to the Man. Check it out if you get the chance.

Flush It - Super Mario Brothers (1993) - How the hell did this movie get made? It boggles the mind that Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo, and Dennis Hopper starred in this movie. Sure, they needed the work…but really? I've already dogged this movie a bunch. I think it was on my Video Game Movie list. I'm done with it.

Future Watch - Death of Superman (2020?) - Based on the epic comic book series that launched about a dozen spin-offs, I think it'd be cool to see Superman & Doomsday duke it out now that CGI is getting fantastic…and what's better than one Superman? How about four? The movies could go on forever. Anyway, there's also this "Super Capers" (2008) - Here's the plot outline: Would-be superhero, Ed Gruberman, who possesses no super powers must join a team of misfit heroes-in-training known as The Super Capers. Having only faith, Gruberman must travel through time to uncover an evil plot involving some gold bullion, a fiery femme fatale, and a criminal mastermind with a dark secret about Ed's past. Apparently, Tom Sizemore is in it with a character name of Roger Cheatem (probably a bad guy) and Haylie Duff is attached as Felicia Freeze. Coming this December. Just stumbled upon it.

Enjoy the Super Bowl everybody!!! Don't forget to keep an eye out for Double Dippers!!!