Worst Weekend Ever...a Decade Ago

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, it was this day ten years ago that I wrote in my journal (yeah, I've got a real life paper journal full of ramblings like this too) that I was the luckiest mother lover alive. See, it went something like that. I was a sophomore in high school...and for my English class, we wrote children's books (complete with illustrations). I was paired up with a superhottie to make it...and she really liked the story that I made up. Basically it was just an illustration of Aesop's fable about the Sun and the Wind. If you don't know it, I'd be happy to tell you...another time. Anyway, I drew the short straw or something and had to bring treats for the kindergarten class that we were going to read the stories to the next day. The next morning, I got some gas across the street from the supermarket where I worked. Then it hit me, "Crap! I forgot the treats." Now, I had to go across the street in the wee hours of the morning to get some multi-flavored Tootsie Rolls...because who doesn't like those?

Anyway, long story short, while trying to cross the street in my Pontiac 6000, I got T-boned by a Ford Bronco (driven by an old classmate of mine) going about 60 in a 35 (police reports, I don't remember the actual hit), and to avoid going into elaborate gory detail, the right side of my face was tore up, the dashboard left a gaping wound in my right leg, and glass was in my arms, hands, and face. Not a pretty sight at all...but I was lucky. I spent the next two days in the hospital getting CAT scanned, stitched back together, freaking out about WORK & SCHOOL of all things, giving addresses & phone numbers from when I was a child, and having to see friends & family walk in to see me in my room...and then kind of look to the side to avoid eye contact. Not the best time of my life...at all. However, thankfully I'm a fast healer, so about a week later, I was going back to school with only a few obvious scars on my face. I heard all the Scarface jokes there were about it though too.

Funny little story about this, a few days after I went back to school, I also went back to work. Like I said, the accident happened right in front of the supermarket I worked at, so a few employees had seen the paramedics dragging me out of the car and all that. Well, I walked in with my apron on...and noticed that one of the cashiers was staring at me...stunned and frightened out of her mind. Then I went to see my boss Ann and she was really surprised to see me too. "Hey $teve, are you okay?" "Yeah, been out of it the past week or so...but I'm good to go, I think." "Cool. Well, officially...we were told by (stunned cashier) and a few others that...well, you had died in a car accident." "Oh, well...that's not the case but...does that mean I'm not scheduled to work today anymore?" "Hahaha, well...no, but if you still want to work here I can take the Help Wanted sign down." "Oh man, that explains why she looked so...I'd better go talk to (stunned cashier). She probably thinks that she saw a ghost. Creepy." Anyway, enough about that. It was a decade ago...and I'm fairly better looking now. Still have a few scars that I look at once in a while to remember how lucky I am to be alive. Somebody was watching out for me that day. Happy Anniversary!!! Oh yeah...and I never saw superhottie again...because apparently she thought that I was dead too...and moved away. Tried to get a hold of her to tell her I was okay...but nobody knew how to get a hold of her. Weird, right?

Not much else has really gone on the past few days. I hate to admit it. So I thought I'd show you a few hilarious Matt Damon videos. The first is his collaboration with Sarah Silverman…and the second is the catchy tune "Scotty Doesn't Know" from the movie Eurotrip that a mentioned a few weeks ago. Enjoy!!!






Would You? - Electrical retailer Comet surveyed 2,000 Brits, asking them what they would give up for a large television. Nearly HALF of the men surveyed said that they would give up sex for six months in return for a 50-inch plasma screen TV, whereas about a third of women surveyed said that they would. "It seems that size really does matter more for men than women," the firm said with an Oscar Wilde wit. (Tehehee, firm) Survey results always showed that about a quarter of the people would give up smoking or chocolate. What does this prove? Move to the United Kingdom…because apparently they have the world's best cigarettes & chocolate. Okay, maybe it doesn't prove it…but the alternative is that they have the world's most unfulfilling sex lives. Would you willingly give up sex for six months for a big screen? Me neither…but then again, I already have one. Here's a word association quiz that was sent to me via MySpace. I was bored.

Word Association Quiz

1. Beer: Good
2. Anorexic: Kate Moss
3. Relationships: Tricky
4. Purple: Pretty
5. Power Rangers: Pink is hot
6. Weed: No thanks
7. Steroids: Baseball
8. Cartoons: Funny
9. The President: Tehehe, Bush...
10. Tupperware: PARTY!!!
11. Best Vacation: With Somebody
12. Santa Claus: Jolly
13. Halloween: Hot Devils in Mini-Skirts
14. Bon Jovi: Slippery When Wet
15. Grammar: Have JL Clyde check it, I give up
16. Facebook: Another MySpace
17. Worst Fear: Groin Injuries
18. Marriage: Only 2B Done Once
19. Paris Hilton: What's that smell?
21. Redhead: HOT!!!
22. Blonde: Not so hot...but easily tricked
23. Pass the Time: Is that supposed to be Thyme?
24. One Night Stands: Not my cup o' tea
25. Donald Trump: Your daughter's hot
26. Neverland: Jesus Juice
27. Pixie Sticks: Why?
28. Vanilla Ice Cream: On top of waffles
29. High School: Jailbait
30. Work: Corporate Pimpin'
31. Pajamas: PARTY!!!
32. Woods: Morning
33. Wet Sock: Afternoon
34. Alcohol: Evening
35. Love: After Dark

Have a great weekend everybody!!! Don't forget to wow your woman this Valentine's Day!!!