Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Won Fish, Too Fish, Read Fish, Blew Fish Up

Good Afternoon again Ladies & Gentlemen,

This Tequila Tuesday, as previously said a few times, I will share my photos from my adventure to the Living Planet Aquarium in beautiful Sandy (city, not girl, that would be weird). Enjoy these pictures...but I'm telling ya, they're ten times better to see in person...or at least in streaming media format (still trying to figure it out between calls at work).

First, here is the sea life that is indigenous to the Great Salt Lake, the Brine Shrimp. There was also a wonderful trout exhibition as well. Delicious!!!



Limp Bizkit had that album out back when I was in high school called "Chocolate Starfish & the Hot Dog Flavored Water" and all this time I thought it was just a stupid heroine induced mixture of worlds by Fred Durst...and then I witnessed the Chocolate Chip Starfish in all its glory.

Here's another starfish struggling for his freedom...

Here's a pretty sponge thing that was in the back of one of the tanks...but this was the best picture that I could get of it due to the high content of fecal fish matter in the tank.

Here's a baby giant octopus. Okay, it's just an octopus.

This lobster named Grumpy is over 100 years old...and doesn't look a day over 60.

Here's a picture of my aquarium buddy JL petting the ever dangerous stingray. She knows that one of this rays cousins took down the Crocodile Hunter, but she's such a rebel that she tickles this ray...and then laughs. Hahahahaha...

The Sharks in this aquarium were really fast as this picture indicates....

...but using my high-speed shutter, I was able to get this picture shortly before a shark lounged out of the tank & landed on me.

Afterwards, we had sushi.

Panda Update - As you know, I am always interested in the world that revolves around the magnificent Panda. In my previous entry Panda-monium I told of my adventures to Chengdu, deep in the Sichuan Province of the People's Republic of China two years ago. Well, these gentle & noble creatures are making a splash in the 2008 Olympics as well...and not in the diving competition. The Chinese research center in Chengdu that houses some 60 pandas also produces about 300 tons of fecal matter. Normally, the center spends about 6000 Yuan ($750) per year on disposal...but they have a fabulous idea. They're recycling the feces....into souveniors for the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games. Jing Shimin, assistant to the director of the center (watch "The Office") defended these bowel movement bookmarks, photo frames, fans, & panda statues by saying "They don't smell too bad because 70% of the dung is just remains of the bamboo that the pandas are unable to digest." OH!!! Well in that case, put me down for a frame to surround the picture of a loved one...and a fan so I can feel that warm summer breeze on my face.

Conspiracy of the Day - The Chinese Government is selling people POOP for souveniors. There's no conspiracy, it's real. They're not even hiding it in a half-inch layer of wax and saying that it's a statue. Fool me once shame on you. Next time that we get the Olympics in the US, it'll probably be in New York, I say that we give them rat crap. Oh wait, that's not American. Give them Grizzly Biscuits to wash down their 'Possum Pie. Mmm mmm mmm...now that's culture.

Retraction of the Day - That whole thing about Kevin Garnett yesterday has new information. Instead of four role players for one superstar, the trade actually went through officially with SEVEN role players for one superstar. With three former All-Stars & a former MVP on their roster, the Boston Celtics may have a good team on their hands...and a lot of job openings. My apologies for this premature information ejaculation...but I get so excited about basketball. Usually it's Sue Bird or Diana Taurasi of the WNBA that causes it though. Did you know that I hooked up with them once at a UConn kegger once? Oh wait, that's never happened......yet. Oh God, am I still typing? Subject change!!! So Kevin Garnett joins Paul Pierce & Ray Allen a.k.a. Jesus Shuttlesworth ("He Got Game" is a great movie) on a historic franchise that's been in the dumps for....well, about two decades since Larry Bird hurt his back...but it looks like as long as they stay healthy, they could make a run in the playoffs...and maybe lose to whoever comes out of the Western Conference in the Finals...probably the Spurs again. Good luck Boston!!!

Another Conspiracy of the Day - I wonder if the timing of this blockbuster trade, which was thought to never ever happen during the draft a month ago, has anything to do with the recent investigation by the FBI into the referee that gambled on games he officiated. I would never think that the great David Stern would do anything to take the attention of the media off that situation and place it on "The Big Ticket" Kevin Garnett. Just something to think about...but I couldn't blame him if that were the case.

Celebrity Birthday - Michael Biehn turns 51 today. You may remember Mr. Biehn from one of my first blog entries of random thoughts...and if whether or not he had starred in any non-action movies. The answer - Not really. "Abyss" was the closest...because it was pretty slow. He had a small role in "Jade" too. You should recognize the face but he's starred in "The Terminator", "The Rock", "Tombstone", "Aliens", and most recently, Grindhouse's "Planet Terror." Anyway, he seems like a great guy. So let's all have a shot in honor of Michael Biehn's birth. Cheers...

You Can't Take It With You - In Springville, Utah, the headstone of a teenager who died in a car crash last year was repossessed because of failure to pay by the family of the deceased. Shortly after it was removed, his classmates raised the $750 to keep the headstone and it will be installed again later this week. However, please remember to pay your bills. I know that some of you right now have bills that need to be paid...but you push it off...and procrastinate...and would rather spend time with your family & friends than pay them off...but they mean business when they say final notice. They'll take it back. They'll repo your coffin. This is also why most morticians ask for cash upfront, no cops, no funny stuff.

To Those That Will Outlive Me - Now, some people deny their own mortality...but you should embrace it...and live everyday as if it were your last (instead of driving like it). When my time comes and it's time to dispose of me, please don't spend a whole lot of money on my burial. Instead throw a party at Piper Down or Brewski's or some other establishment with an open bar and tell happy, merry stories about me....then nuke me down to ashes, saving a few DNA samples for future cloning possibilities, place my ashes in a styrofoam container, and feed me as hot chocolate to the people that have wronged you. Once they have finished their cocoa, stand up & yell, "HAHA!!! YOU JUST TASTED THE CHOCOLATEY GOODNESS OF $TEVE!!! HAHA!!! That's what you get for burning a hole in my upholstery with your cigarette, sucka!!!"

Final Happy Note - Here's a picture of my niece Kairi, don't piss her off in the future...or she'll feed me to you!!! Just look at that mischievous grin. Have a great day!!!

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