This weekend was just one fun thing after another. Allow me to elaborate in a step-by-step process similar to last weekend...but with more cake involved.
Friday - 7/13/07 - Friday the 13th
- I worked eight hours taking phone calls & talking with great people. The one thing that I really don't like about this portion of my job...is that not ALL of the people that call in are great...and they want something for nothing...because they feel they are entitled to it. When somebody starts yelling at me & telling me what they're entitled to when it simply isn't true, that's when I get all parental on them, have a little verbal spat with them, and it usually ends with me yelling "Get a job or get out of my house!!!"
- Then Deja Vu hits!!! Not really, but I've seen this conversation between my brother & parents a few times...so it's really just a memory...but deja vu is just so...French...and as anybody can tell you, French stuff is some of the funnest to say...and it's sexy.
- Then I tripped on a black cat & fell under a ladder breaking the mirror that I always keep in my pocket...because I'm vain. Luckily, I got the mirror at Wal-Mart so I was only out $3.49 plus tax & Mittens was okay.
- After work, I went over to my dad's to give my car some much needed TLC but even in the dusk hours, it's incredibly hot here in Utah over the past few weeks. It was quite exhausting but there's one thing that kept me going...the fact that Jason Voorhees has never chopped up anybody while they were working on their car.
- I was invited to a coworker's birthday party (female, so I won't mention which number) and I was a little weary...because it was still Friday the 13th...and though I'm not particularly superstitious, I did see this news report on TV one late night about these kids getting chopped up near Crystal Lake because they were having a good time.
- So I went to the party & had a great time...but being my own designated driver, I only had a few Utah beers which is the equivalent of drinking a gallon of barley juice with a shot of gin. Please always have a designated driver...and if you don't have one...let the tall squinty-eyed guy with the nice car give you a ride home.
- The party was Friday the 13th themed. Everybody was given a REAL rabbit's foot, probably recycled from Utah Highway Cleanup efforts...but still really cool. There were mirrors to break, a ladder over the entryway, salt to spill, & anything else to tempt fate.
- I arrived late . I basically showed up for the 2nd half of the movie where people dance briefly to quirky 80's dance music, sit down & talk loudly, take a few more shots, then there's a little crying, and that's when $teve zones out of the conversation & looks for another barley juice.
- Good times were had by most...and most importantly, by me. Is that conceited? Maybe, but I feel that if you can't have a good time at a party, then it's your own damn fault. By the way, Julie, I'm still sorry for my hillbilly friend's brother being a jackass to you during my housewarming party. If it makes you feel any better, Karma has screwed him over via his ex-wife.
- Drove home safely.
Saturday - 7/14/07
- Woke up & finished watching the 1st Season of "Psych" and chased it with the pilot for "My Name is Earl" as I picked up around the house a tad & cleaned dishes.
- In the early afternoon, it got extremely warm again. My dad called & wanted to finish up working on my OTHER window that's been given me problems. Long story short, it still is.
- Within five minutes of calling it a day on the car, my buddy Andy (Spitsofrantic) called up & told me that he was having a Housewarming Barbeque for his new house that he's renting in North Ogden.
- I went to meet up with my brother at his house, but he was watching that damnable heretic Harry Potter in theatres. So that's when I put in my previous blog in about ten minutes time.
- I have no ill will towards Harry Potter, just so that you know. In fact, if people didn't tell me that I looked like him back when I wore glasses, then I probably would acknowledge him about as much as I acknowledge other people that I've been mistaken for...like DJ Qualls of "The New Kid." I don't really mind...because I seem to remember him getting with Eliza Dushku at the end of the movie...and I'm pretty sure that the final book coming out in a few weeks will end up with Harry hooking up with Hermione (by the way, it took me ten minutes to look up her name on the internet...that's how much I follow it)
- By the way, Monday night I'm going to watch the new Harry Potter movie with three girls. Why? Magic always turns on the ladies. Just ask Criss Angel.
- While I was enjoying an overcooked bratwurst, I wondered what the correct spelling of Bar-B-Q was. Obviously not what I just typed down...but my money was on the earlier spelling with the '-que' suffix. What do you think? Place your bets with your co-workers now.
- I had a designated driver this time (my pregnant sister-in-law) so I had a few beers, a few brats, & hung out with the crew as they passed around a bottle of Skyy Vodka, often commenting on how cool the bottle looked. I showed up a little late to this party too. I'm usually very punctual...but this weekend was a little different for some reason.
- After referring to Wikipedia (quickly putting Encyclopedia Brittanica out of business), I found that it was actually Barbecue with the '-cue' suffix.
- Went back to my brother's place & he convinced me to start a mySpace account and I tried to remember all my friend's email addresses off hand...but I had a few beers in me & had never navigated mySpace before...so I'll get the address & Friend Invites or whatever out to all of you one day. In the meantime, here's a link to MySpace. Please feel free to send me all the dirty messages & pictures that you want.
- I'm going to keep this blog though, because I can access it from work...and I like the fact that other can access it due to its lack of profanity & nudity. I take great pride in my PG-13 blog.
- I slept on his pullout sofa.....around 4 AM.
Sunday - 7/15/07 - Kiel's 24th birthday
- A lot has changed over the last year. That's usually what I think about when I have a birthday, so I'm going to lay it down for my brother too. Last year, we celebrated his birthday by going to Nickelcade, giving him presents like Otter Pops & Legos, & watching the Chipmunk Adventure, Captain Power & the Soldiers of the Future, & Back to the Future.
- This year, he now has two kids, ages 3 years & 9 months, a wife who works full-time & pregnant again, & a house payment so his priorities have shifted...slightly. He still finds time to play video games whenever possible...but the presents are more like diapers, baby food, & a check for the house payment.
- I'll tell you what though, big ups to my mom for keeping his family under a roof. God knows they wouldn't have been able to do it on their own. Everybody, could I please get a big round of applause for my mother? (ROARING APPLAUSE with occasional hooting)
- Anyway, we woke up around 11 AM and ate leftover pizza for breakfast. As usual, it was delicious & nutritious. Large Papa John's Barbecue Hawaiian Chicken Pizza for $11.99 limited time only is excellent. Papa John, if you're reading this, please send a complimentary pizza my way & I'll be sure to mention you in every blog entry.
- We went to Best Buy so that Kiel could look at all of the big screen plasma HDTVs. I kind of enjoyed it too...but I have the means to get one if I'd like...whereas he would have to ask really, really nice. Oh well, he's got a big screen. He just always wants more. It's the human condition...and not necessarily a horrible trait if used properly. Wow, I just turned looking at TVs into a comment on humanity. What the hell?
- After Ashley got off work, we went up to my mom's for my brother's birthday party. She made him a German Chocolate cake (best flavor ever) with a 24 pack of crayon candles. We talked about stuff that we usually talk about.
- On that note, my stepdad's cousin made a bet with me that she could go one full year without sexual stimulation of any sort. I explained the rules (being sadly experienced in this department) and she seemed skeptical but determined to prove to everybody that she could do it and 'regain her virginity.'
- Moments later, she mistook the word "Eulogy" for "Orgy" so I had to put $50 on her giving into sin. I'll let you know when money has exchanged hands...probably some time next week. If anybody else is interested in getting in on this 'gamble' then let me know & I'll run it past her.
- I hung out with my brother until his birthday was officially over. He conquered "Transformers the Game" and the peasants rejoiced. I then drove home listening to my "Funk Me Gently" mix and slept like a babe.
News of the Day - Location: Berlin, Germany - "Suddenly he stopped the bus," the woman named Debora C. told Bild newspaper. "He opened the door and shouted at me 'Your cleavage is distracting me every time I look into my mirror and I can't concentrate on the traffic. If you don't sit somewhere else, I'm going to have to throw you off the bus." I couldn't pick her out of the lineup in the picture though...see if you can.
Personally, if a voluptuous 20-year old German saleswoman like Debora C. were impeding my vision with her bosom, it's only polite to thank her first, then ask her to move out of the way. Not yell at her & threaten to kick her off the bus (his eyes probably never went above the neckline). I'll bet half of the gentlemen had a word or two for the bus driver...and the other half were a little bummed that they didn't notice somehow before the fiasco. However, safety is an important concern as well...as the spokeperson for the driver states...
"The bus driver is allowed to do that and he did the right thing," the spokesman said. "A bus driver cannot be distracted because it's a danger to the safety of all the passengers." What a way to go though...
Hold that thought until next time...
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