Funk Me Gently

Good Morning, I apologize for not having pictures of my adventures at Taylorsville Dayzz yesterday...but due to a technical difficulty, that may take some time. Perhaps on Tuesday (Transformers Eve) if we're lucky. So in the meantime, I thought that I would talk about quite possibly my favorite mix CD that I've made...and eluded to in previous blogs...the Funk masterpiece, "Funk Me Gently." It's a mix of tracks that sounds...well, a lot like the Soundtrack to "Undercover Brother" but better & more complete (full 80 minutes of CD memory space). Here is the track listing...and please, sing along if you know it.


1. "Tear the Roof Off the Sucker (Give Up the Funk)" by Parliament Funkadelic - Is it wrong that everytime that I hear this song now, no matter where I am, I feel like I'm driving a golden drop-top Cadillac drinking orange soda & occasionally picking my afro??? I didn't think so. One cannot help but get swept up in the beat of this track...so I'd like to start this compilation off with it to get everybody in the mood. Sing it with me now, "WE want the funk. Gotta have that funk. Ow..."

2. "Ladies Night" by Kool & the Gang - Not just an ode to brilliant club marketing, but it takes a bass line eerily similar to "Car Wash" and with the addition of some horns & a lot of love for the ladies, Kool & the Gang come through again. Again, thanks to "Undercover Brother" there's an image of Denise Richards & Aunjanue Ellis fighting in the shower...but it's actually better than Ladies Night at a club usually anyway. "Nine dollars for a Corona? Are you kidding me? Gosh! Hey Jimmy, when do those Pleasure Bots come out again?"

3. "Got to Give It Up, pt. 1" by Marvin Gaye - You know, back in the day, I too used to go out to parties and just stand around because I was too nervous to really get down...and my body yearned to be free so I got up on the floor and found somebody to choose me. I've got to give it up to this song. By the way, it took me the longest time to finally comprehend most of the lyrics to this song. I don't know if my ears just didn't pick up the high frequency of Marvin's voice or if I was too in the groove, but it took a while. Unfortunately, I'm still waiting on "Got to Give It Up, Part 2 - Whatchu drinkin'?" Ah, a melody creeps into mind...but we'll keep that one for the solo album...

4. "Humpty Dance" by Digital Underground - The first of several that will include a little bit of hip-hop into the mix. Why? As you listen to this compilation, you'll realize that most of them have been covered by various hip-hop mixers & producers...but Funk & Hip-Hop are very similar, so it's all good. Also, I didn't know that 2Pac used to roll with Digital Underground until I watched the Dan Aykroyd movie "Nothing but Trouble." The kid that looks like 2Pac with the Kid 'n' Play haircut, it is 2Pac...but I think he was still Tupac in 1991. I'll have to ask my resident 2Pac expert Spitsofrantic next time I see him, but just a little FYI...now let's all do the Humpty Hump.

5. "Jungle Boogie" by Kool & the Gang - I hope that one day, as I'm trekking through the lush tropics of Costa Rica or emersed in the exotic islands of the South Pacific, that I hear the majestic calls of the animals...and it sounds something like "Jungle Boogie." I think I can hear the introductory Kall of Kool now. "AAAAAAGH-HA!!!"

6. "Superfreak" by Rick James - Raise your hand if you've ever been with a superfreak. Most of us have probably had that relationship with someone we wouldn't take home to mother...but does that mean that we should be ashamed of being a floozy? Of course not, as long as we used protection (Public Service Announcement), because Man is a Sexual Beast. I wonder what MC Hammer's doing right now...

7. "Shining Star" by Earth, Wind, & Fire - This song was covered by Will Smith to do that "Wild Wild West" song a few years back...but I like this version much better...because it had a point. You're a shining star, no matter who you are. Shine your star for you to see what your life can truly be. Speaking of interesting casting decisions (Wild Wild West), did you hear that Samuel L. Jackson is rumored to be Nick Fury in the Iron Man movie being made? Sure, when the character has Fury in the name, he's right up there with Laurence "Furious Jackson" Fishburne to them...but if there are any other comic nerds out there, it does seem like a bold choice, right?

8. "Atomic Dog" by George Clinton & Coolio - "The Dog who chases his tail...will be busy." It's an old Funkatron Proverb that's as true today as it was when George Clinton first came down from the Mothership. Also substitutable with the great "Snoop Doggy DOOOOooOOooOOG" version but this version is a little more 'to the root' of Funk...even though Coolio puts in his rhymes...and I don't care what you say...I like his hair. It's distinctive & distinguished.

9. "Fantastic Voyage" by Coolio - Take an old funky Lakeside classic, add a woofer-worthy bassline to it, and sprinkle in yet more Coolio lyrics...with a dash of message, and you'll truly be nourished to come along on a fantastic voyage in a '65. Not really much else to say about the track...without singing along to it...but you can do that on your time. By the way, why was Coolio so mad at Weird Al for that Amish Paradise thing? Yeah, his Gangsta Paradise had a message...but Weird Al exposed it to more people. Maybe it's all a clever marketing ploy (It is, but I'm trying to be subtle). I wonder what Coolio's doing right now...probably waking up with two beautiful women at his side on a pile of money. I think it's safe to say that we've all been there...at least once.

10. "Hollywood Swingin" by Kool & the Gang - I strongly considered putting Ma$e's "Feels So Good" in its place...but that would be promoting Puff Daddy more than is necessary...and I figured Kool & the Gang would appreciate a third track in the first ten. I remember not too long ago, I went to a theatre & saw a Kool & the Gang show. I always wanted to fit into a band, to play my songs, and become a bad piano playing MAAAAAAAN!!! Trust me, it's lyrics. So hey hey hey, whatchu got to say? Hollywooooooooooood...

11. "Supernatural Thing, Part 1" by Ben E. King - This 1975 hit from one of the all-time greats of R&B had a nice funky James Brown-ness to it that I particularly like...along with lyrics probably taken straight from a gospel song. It goes along with the South Park theory where you replace the words "Lord" or "Jesus" with "Baby" and it works out...but this song has them mixed up a bit. "Your love, your love. Lord, it's a supernatural thing. Oh baby, when we kiss, it gives me some...funny feeling in my brain." Try not to focus on that though. It's still a great track for what it is. I wonder if Trey Parker & Matt Stone are ever going to release that Faith + 1 album that they kind of composed for that episode...

12. "Do Fries Go With That Shake?" by George Clinton & Too Short - Some of you may be wondering, "Wasn't that the jingle on a Burger King commercial back in the day?" It's very possible...but if it was...good for BK. God knows if I ever get nervous trying to pick up girls at a wedding reception, the story that she tells to her friends the next morning will sound something like this song. "Oh he says the damnedest things. Last night when he was runnin' game he said 'Baby, can I cut your cake? Oh, can I have it my way? Don't I deserve a break today? Them buns, I like the way you bake. Do fries go with that shake?' Seriously, he's cute & all but I think he has an eating disorder...besides claiming to be a vagitarian...whatever that is."

13. "Give It To Me Baby" by Rick James - There's no room for subtlety in the world of King James. We've all been in the situation. We went out to the club, had a few drinks, had our designated driver (PSA) give is a lift back to the crib, and we're feeling a little frisky. However, our significant other...isn't in the mood. Where the more passive person would simply take it at that & take a cold shower (possible rub-out) or simply persist once your both under the covers, there's yet another approach that might work more effectively. Simply ask your lover, with as little clothing on as possible, "Gimme that stuff. That funk, that sweet, that funky stuff" and she'll be putty in your hands. Has it worked for me? Sort of. I don't drink much...and I'm always frisky. Always. Thanks for the advice, Rick!!!

14. "Let's Groove Tonight" by Earth, Wind, & Fire - Easily one of the catchiest songs in history, but at least it's a good one. I can't quite get those high notes singing along since puberty hit, but I still feel like I need to sing along most of the time...just not when stopped at a red light next to a Jeep full of skaterboys. They just wouldn't understand...and that's one of the problems with kids nowadays...especially in packs or gaggles or whatever a group of teenagers is called. One thing's for sure, it's definitely not a pride of teenagers. Where was I? Oh yeah, great tune. I think everybody should meet up with your swarm of friends & groove at least once a month. You know, just to keep your groove in check. No need to go to the Carribean to get it back. That gets very expensive. Consider it MGM (Mandatory Groove Maintenance).

15. "Planet Rock" by Afrika Bambaataa - Again, a pivotal track in hip-hop history is included on my record. Why? It's funky. I think that it works well with the others...so that's why. By the way, if ANYBODY out there knows where I can find that Afrika Bambaataa "Basketball" track that they used on the Nike commercials about a decade ago, please let me know. Being the ubercrazy basketball nut that I am, I would greatly appreciate it & can't seem to find it anywhere. Thanks. To clarify, I put this picture in so that it might jog your memory in case my description was unsatisfactory. By the way, is it just me or does J-Dub ALWAYS look like he's stoned? "Hey man, let me get one of those chili dogs?" "Damn it Jason, quit talking to that vendor & get your ass in the game!"

16. "Bop Gun" by George Clinton & Ice Cube - One nation under a groove, gettin' down just for the funk of it. I personally believe this was in one of "Tommy Boy" Jefferson's early drafts of the Declaration of Independence, but that may just be me. "The Wash" may have talked him out of it, claiming that it was unprofessional to have an apostrophe at the end of a verb. I'm telling ya, this country was founded by great men...who knew how to party & get stuff done. We can all learn from their example. This is my idea of the National Anthem in a way. Besides, whatchu gonna do when you get out a jail? What would anybody do? I'm gonna have some fun with my bop gun. Ready or not, here we come...

17. "It Feels Good" by Tony! Toni! Tone! - It's upbeat, a little funky, & a little early 90's R&B. The part that really hooked me though was the chorus "If the rhythm feels good to you baby let me hear you say (ooh ooh baby)" and that's where it made the album chuck full of double entendres & subtle perversity. Fun Fact - Of the seven members of Tony! Toni! Tone!, none of them were named Tony in any spelling.

18. "Knee Deep (Midnight Mix)" by George Clinton & Digital Underground - A great track to end the album on because it takes a little bit of everything, funk, hip-hop, puts it all together, ends it with "But she was not just knee deep, she was totally deep when she did the freak with me. Yaaaah!" and fades out like a montage...because as everybody knows...if you fade out, it seems like more time has passed...


Join us next time where we'll hopefully have pictures & descriptions of events from Taylorsville Dayzz. Also stayed tuned...for the sequel to "Funk Me Gently" coming soon (double entendre), entitled "Funk Me Again." Featuring more from past artists as well as James Brown, Isaac Hayes, Rose Royce, Prince, Morris Day & the Time, Cameo, the GAP Band, Hot Chocolate, & others. Have a wonderful Independence Week everybody!!!