Sex Sells

News Story of Note - Say what you will about the Canadians...but those adorable, draft-dodgin', Hockey-lovin' canuck hippies get it right sometimes. There's a new eating establishment in Winnipeg called Porno Pizza. Hold on, it's more than just a clever attention grabbing name like my idea for Papa Woody's Pizza or Dee's Nuts Salty Snacks (who I recently found already exists several years after newscaster Phil Riesen called me an A-Hole when I told him the idea...long story for another day). What makes this pizza place a little different, and therefore memorable, isn't the quality for their pizza or the great deals that they offer...but the boxes that they come in...which as you eat reveal a wide variety of pornographic images.

By the way, if you've seen the original "Revenge of the Nerds" (I was raised on it) then you'll recognize the tactic...and the business is on pace to DESTROY the Alpha Betas & take over the Greek Council...of Canadian pizza chains. Apparently they're destroying their competition in the happening metropolis of Winnipeg & are looking to franchise in Canada (sorry, not in the US....yet). The owner, 30-year old Corey "Van" Wilderman probably put it best when he was quoted as saying, "You'll never go broke appealing to the lowest common denominator. Everybody knows: Sex sells!!!" Just ask my buddy B at http://www.microsuede.blogspot.com/, you should check it out anyway. It's a funny blog. Always good for a laugh.

However, Mr. Wilderman lost me when he said that 75% of his customers are women...because that has to be a bold-faced lie. However, if it's not...then I'm moving to Canada and hanging out with the ladies who know how to party.


What other businesses could profit from this tactic? The first one that comes to mind for me...is the Airline Industry. Allow me to explain. About two years ago, I was returning from a business trip to Miami. In fact, B was there if I recall. Good times. Anyway, the night before leaving, we had a grand night at a gentleman's club & several bars around town...returning to the hotel around 4 AM. I was on the plane dozing off when it hit me (no, not the cart on my elbow), the stewardesses should double as strippers. Think about it. It’s mostly businessmen who are away from their families and basically waiting to get down on the ground to see strippers after the board meeting or whatever.

You wouldn’t have to pay stewardesses because they could just work for tips. Hell, the airlines could take 20-30% off the top to cover the rising gas costs. Alcoholic drinks sales would easily triple. Sure, we’d have to worry about a few children & older women who wouldn’t be interested. We can bump them up to first class, I’m sure that the businessmen up there wouldn’t mind at all. Geez, you could even have an official Mile High Club Card if you wanted. Private rooms. I mean...the industry's in a bit of financial trouble, right? I'm just thinking outside of the box here...even if it's from the gutter. Let me know what you think. Keep an eye out & let me know if Delta steals my idea...like that guy who started Dee's Nuts. If only I owned an airline...it would be like Soul Plane...but funny...

Tom Cruise - Not one of my favorites...but did you know that despite his appearance in "Born on the 4th of July", he was actually born on the 3rd of July? Now you know. He turns 45 today...and still won't come out of the closet.

Well, I'll be working until 1 AM tonight...then heading over to my brother's to watch a 10 AM screening of "Transformers" in the morning. I've been told from a reliable source that it's a good movie & I will enjoy it. I'm looking forward to it. I'll keep you guys posted...and probably give a review in a few days...but I won't spoil the ending...though I'm guessing the Autobots win...just a guess. I hope that you all enjoy your 4th of July festivities and be sure to enjoy some fireworks...because unless you live in Beirut or Pleasure Island, you won't see fireworks every night. Enjoy a hot dog too!!! Go ahead, you're probably going to sweat it off in the heat anyway. I know I will.