Weekend Report

Good Afternoon Again,

Friday - July 20, 2007

• As you may have heard, after work I had a date. I will let you know that I was not late for this very important date. The downtown area of Slick City was filled with these restrictive orange cones & there was some kind of event going on so there were horses standing & walking like Rory Calhouns all over the place.


• After several phone calls to find out EXACTLY where she was so that I could double park pick-up, we finally headed off to our destination, Thai Siam restaurant.


• This was Day 3 of five consecutive days where I had a full meal of Thai food. It is delicious, but I was ready for a change today. The food at Thai Siam is excellent if you ever get the chance. Small, quaint, beautiful atmostphere too.


• We talked about ourselves. I felt that I talked too much (believe it or not) but we both got to know eachother a little bit & laugh a lot.


• She has spent time in Korea & I have spent time in China, so we discussed our favorite things about different cultures & cuisines.


• She mentioned that she enjoyed Kung Fu movies...and I suddenly found myself in a slow-motion trance thinking to myself, "Where have you been all my life?"


• She hasn't seen any Tony Jaa movies yet, so I'm thinking a future date may be "Ong Bak" & "The Protector" but I may be getting ahead of myself


• After dinner, we decided to go see a movie. She chose "Live Free or Die Hard"


• I was in slow motion again.


• During the previews, we made fun of this "Inside the Extras Studio" spoof, then retracted our statements saying that it was kind of mean to the guy they were interviewing...but still hilarious.


• The movie had everything - Explosions, cyberterrorism, ass-kickin' Asian chicks, jets, car chases, one-liners, car crashes, quick wits, & more explosions. Good time was had by all.


• After the movie, we walked around the parking lot a bit (intentionally, I assure you) and then I drove her back to her car.


• She seemed a little nervous (and I was double-parked) so I didn't force the kiss...so there was none. She did text me later & said that she had a great time...so future dates are definitely a possibility, when time permits. Yippee!!!

Saturday - July 21, 2007

• Woke up when it became too warm in my apartment to sleep (around 9:30)


• Headed to my dad's & we FINALLY finished working on my window. It was surprisingly simple once we were able to take it apart & see how it works.


• Rivet guns are awesome.


• My dad & I relaxed afterwards by watching "Weird Science" starring the young versions of Bill Paxton, Robert Downey jr., Anthony Michael Hall, & Kelly LeBrock. Whatever happened to Kelly LeBrock? I'll bet it was sexy.


• After relaxing, I went to my brother's & downloaded a bunch of PS3 stuff from the Playstation Store like demos for Ninja Gaiden Sigma, Virtua Tennis 3, & Rub a Dub


• My brother REALLY enjoys Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas, so we played that a little bit, then he went online to get lit up like a Christmas tree by who I can only assume are professional assassins homing their skills in a virtual environment.


• That night, I also started to look into some of the features of MySpace...and apparently a lot of hot American girls that take up residency in China want to get to know me & have me check out their nude pictures.


• Girls are very forward online, so I hope that I don't catch a virus


• I always use protection

Sunday - July 22, 2007

• I awoke to my 3-year old niece Kelaudri staring at me as I slumbered on a pull-out sofa


• It was sweet & creepy all at the same time (like a kiss from an Italian mob boss)


• For some reason, my 9-month old niece Kairi thought that she would spend the day screaming & crying for no apparent reason (well-fed, diaper dry, etc.)


• She has been teething but she wasn't even accepting a chew toy or a finger or whatever. She was just very upset about something. I briefly considered putting a blanket over her head until she fell asleep, but was informed it was "inhumane" for some reason.


• After several hours of baby screaming, her older sister decided to do the same. That's when I decided to put them both to sleep...but decided to let them take a nap instead.


• When Kairi refused to nap, I thought about what usually gets little girls to be quiet, so I went on the internet & let her look at shiny, expensive things


• That did the trick!!!


• Went home & watched "Requiem for a Dream"


• I was warned about this movie...and yet I still watched it. I knew there was a reason that I didn't do drugs...and that reason is Jared Leto's arm.


• I still have a little bruise from where I donated blood last week...and it's kind of creeping me out now because of this movie


• Slept surprisingly well, woke up early for work

News Update of the Day - Okay, so I've looked a little more into this Michael Vick dogfighting ring situation...and wow, I was mistaken as to how the dogs are prepared for battle. I thought it was just the encouraging of aggressive behavior through positive reinforcement...like horrible parents in trailer parks or something. I'll spare you the details...but the term 'raping machine' was mentioned several times. So I figured the best way for Mr. Vick & anybody else associated with this dogfighting organization, upon being found guilty in a court of law, should be put in a similar situation. A place where they would be put in a rough & tumble, enclosed environment, where the weak are slaughtered, there's a constant fear of rape (his quick moves may come in handy), & you're isolated from all that you know & care about. If only such a place existed...

Burning Image of the Day - Besides watching Jennifer Connelly go cheek-to-cheek last night (which was both hot & disturbing at the same time), the other image burnt into my head was looking around my workplace & thinking that everybody looked a little depressed today. Everybody has been looking down as if in deep thought & contemplating some future course in their life...but their current situation was just too complicated for facial expression. Then I realized that they were all reading that new Harry Potter book. I kid you not. Just about EVERYBODY at my workplace is reading that damnable book of heracy.

I went to the breakroom to watch some ESPN as they were discussing golf (Why? Who cares? It's golf.) and I noticed there were four people sitting there, all reading Harry Potter & the Sleepy Hollows or whatever it is. "Are you reading the Harry Potter book too?" "Who's Harry Potter? Does he write mysteries or something?" I thought it was funny...and the only other non-reader thought so too. The key is a straight face & snappy delivery. You guys are gathered around a TV to read a book. Even if I were literate (voice-activated typer), I probably wouldn't read Harry Potter. Give me "The Land of Sniggl-de-Bloop" for my kids.

"In the Land of Sniggl-de-Bloop, where all the inhabitants eat nothing but soup, made of hambone & whalebone & that type of goop, lived a Sniggl-de-Creep & a Sniggl-de-Bleep..." thanks to my mom, I can do this all day...but I won't. Besides, I've already skipped to the end of the book & I thought that the Zombie Ninjas destroying Hogswart was a bit of a stretch...even for me. I'm sorry if I spoiled it for you, but JK Rowling should've worked robots into it somehow.

Random Thought of the Day - So I was watching "Roots" earlier today for the first time (only about 40 minutes into it...so no slavemasters yet) & it got me thinking about a fun little game that my brother & I like to do when we're in public & want to mess with people. No, it doesn't involve thumbvises or whips. The reason that Roots made me think of it is because...well, I was expecting subtitles & was disappointed when Kunta Kinte made me reminisce about Reading Rainbow. By the way, did you know that OJ was in Roots? Now you do. Anyway, when there were no subtitles, I thought of our game.

We'll go to Wal-Mart, Best Buy, or really anywhere where there are people to mess with (basically outdoors) and we'll talk gibberish to one another sounding like a different language. Usually the person that starts sets the tone for the language but it usually sounds either Eastern European or African. It'll usually go something like this. One of the people at Best Buy will walk up to us when we're checking out TV show seasons or something...

"Hey guys, do you need help finding anything today?" That's when I'll look at my brother (usually looking at some anime show I've never heard of) and say something like "Uumba matumba click click umbaka chombi?" So he will reply, "Baka derka derka umpablo escobar shimmy shimmy ya" and this will last for several exchanges and then we'll return to English. "Yes, where is your girl-on-girl selection? My brother & I really enjoy the vagina." Just in case you plan on doing this yourself, the key is to maintain constant eye contact, keep a straight face, & speak using your hands and appropriate body language. Change the tone of your voice once in a while too...like a real conversation. Now go practice with your friends & let me know how it goes. Peace out...