Since ancient times, civilizations have ideolized & personified animals. From the finger paintings of the caveman to the mythology of the Nile to the melodical madness of Alvin & the Chipmunks, man (and woman alike) has often stood in amazement at the plethora of creatures that cover this crazy floating marble. Even today, the question is often asked by wisemen, spiritual leaders, scientists, kindergarteners, and 'getting to know you' emails around the world & web, "If you could be any animal, what would you be & why?" A tough question indeed. Much like "What superhero would you be?" How one responds can tell an incredible amount about him or her. If one were to respond with a Tiger, it could be seen that that person chose it based on beauty, power, & determination (or that they're a really big pussy). An eagle? They want to touch the heavens with the ability of flight. Dolphin? They're probably a girl and think that dolphins are cute...or smart. We all have our reasons...and as you can hopefully guess from the title of this blog entry, my choice would be the mystical Panda. Why? Well heeeeere, we go...
The pictures throughout this adventure are courtesy of my month-long journey into the heart of a great Socialist nation known as the People's Republic of China during the summer of 2005. During my mission, I faced the threat of spending time in a Communist prison (travel agent got me a 7 day visa instead of the 30 days required...which was a huge no-no...and I didn't exactly 'blend' into the background being two meters tall when everybody else wore children's clothing). However, this land proved very pleasing to the eyes in almost every way & was a true spiritual journey as well...because I found what the being that I want to be reincarnated as. It was about three weeks into this voyage, when I found myself deep in the heart of the tropical climate of the Sichuan Province of China. This region, made famous for its incredibly spicy cuisine (and did not disappoint) and relaxed culture, also houses more than half of the world's population of the ferocious Panda. Luckily our guide was wise on where to find these rare & mystical creatures. We left our hotel in the mid-sized Chinese town of Chengdu (population of only 11 million) when we stumbled upon our first clue as to their whereabouts.
The natives of the area have maintained this majestic waterfall mosaic since the 3rd century B.C. and had actually built an entire hotel around it to preserve it from the natural elements (besides erosion from the waterfall, of course) and maintain its luster for generations to come. Quite the find...and luckily the shuttle was there ready to take us to our next destination. The guide, I believe his name was Xian Wan, told us that we would follow these giant rock formations that looked like the great bears of Asia. Some were built by man, while others...by gods. Here are some of these formations:
Wait!!! What is that there? Why it is the mighty Panda bear...poised and ready to strike at anybody who interferes with his slumber...or does not bear a hefty gift of bamboo. "Sure, you may photograph me...but you will never have my soul!!!" This is the first reason I would like to be a Panda - Most see you as a cute, cuddly, and harmless creature...but you a vicious jungle bear with claws, several cerations of teeth, and a hefty appetite for bamboo and manflesh...but mostly bamboo.
Reason #2 - Basically, all a Panda does all day is eat, sleep, scratch themselves, get bathed by beautiful Asian women, and reproduce when they have a free moment. It's like being David Bowie or something...without the fashion sense. On the reproduction note, I feel personally responsible for recent advances in this field...because I mentioned the idea of 'Panda Porn' while at this sanctuary...and several months later, they practiced it. I actually have a copy of my first attempt at this new film genre if you're interested. It's very tasteful...and as Ling Ling can tell you...quite effective. Giggidy!!!
Reason #3 - Billions of people around the world follow the activities of Pandas like they were adopted by Brangelina or something. There are only about a dozen places around the world deemed worthy enough to house one of these creatures...and whenever the opportunity arises for a new habitat, cities & countries around the globe scramble like their bidding for the Olympics. "We'll give them a $50 million habitat in sunny California." "We'll give them a $60 million habitat in the Greek Isles with top billing over the Acropolis." "We'll give them a $70 million habitat in Kyoto...with happy ending." It's amazing. When a new Panda is born in China, it's 
like a new member in the Royal Family in England. That's the life, I'm telling ya. Anyway, this encounter with these mystical creatures was great & I hope that everybody gets the opportunity. More on this China Trek in future blogs...but until then...have a great day!!!P.S. Go Spurs!!! Just a few more wins until yet another Championship!!!
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