The Eclectic Eccentric: Nom de Plume

Good Afternoon Everyone, here's a little present from Yahoo! News:

A Houston woman named Kristen Syvette Wimberly (25) is suing former high school classmate Lara Madden (also 25) who used her name and starred in a dozen pornographic movies in 2004. They met in 9th grade and were friends...but eventually parted ways due to 'conflict' as most high school relationships do...allegedly. Personally, I'm curious what the 'conflict' was...but some things are personal...even in the world of blog. Here are some things about this case that I personally like.

First off, what a way to get back at somebody. I mean...think about it. Let's say, for example, they parted ways due to one stealing the other's boyfriend or something. Sure, the cheated party could have caused a huge scene & treacherous scheme climaxing in a cat-scratching conflict at the flagpole at 3 o'clock...and that would have been really hot...but would anything REALLY be solved? Of course not.

Star in a few pornographic films (low-budget but quality work, by the way) under her name so that a few years down the road, this happens...and it actually did in this case. She's sitting at home and there's a phone call. "Hello?" "Hi, Kristen? It's me, Jack. I ugh...I was just watching a movie that ugh...that I found in my son's room and...I ugh...were you ever in...show business?" "No. I was in a high school play but..." "How about porn?" "What?" "Not that it's a bad thing, I ugh...I was just wondering if you ugh...you still...ugh swing...or know people who did." Awkward, right?

Lara, Ms. Madden if you're nasty, claims that she chose the name because of the way it sounded...and I'll admit that Syvette Wimberly is an intriguing name...but Lara Madden is pretty good too.

Ms. Wimberly's attorney says that the purpose of the suit isn't for money...but just to stop using the name. Note: The name hasn't been used since 2004...and they can't exactly take it off past copies...so what now? Oh yeah...money.

Ms. Madden's attorney said, "They'll never get a penny from her. She doesn't have any money, for one thing, but even if she did this suit will never hold up in court." Allow me to repeat something. Her ATTORNEY says that she doesn't have any money. How exactly is he getting paid then? OH MY GOD!!! I just found my calling a few years too late. Pro Bono Lawyer for Porn Starlets. I'm going to find my high school guidance counselor & kick his ass. He wanted me to go into Engineering. Bastard...

Also, the suit WILL more than likely hold up in court...because this is America. We're the country that awarded several million dollars to a lady who spilled hot coffee in her lap in a drive-thru at McDonald's. Any lawsuit involving anything pornographic will see at least ONE courtroom.

Heck, if Lara Madden were the niece of John Madden, it'd be on Sportscenter more than Barry Bonds...and no one would complain.

The Proper Way to Pick a Porn Name - For those of you who are not aware of the proper method of choosing a name for your pornographic adventures, allow me to pass this knowledge onto you, so that you don't run into this situation in a few years due to identity theft or copyright infringement allegations. There are two very simple steps:

Your first name is the name of your childhood pet (dog, cat, llama, fish, panda, it doesn't really matter)

Your last name is the name of the street that you grew up on (or pending that it's a numbered street, the name of the other street at the closest corner)

For example - I had a cocker spaniel that came into my family a few weeks after I did named Bogi. I grew up near the intersection of 26th & Harrison. Therefore, my porn name would be Bogi Harrison, which has a nice ring to it. It's no Dr. Mookie Love...but still pretty good...and keeping with the proper method is essential. So far, I think my dad has the coolest that I've heard...and it's King Cherry.

Please let me know what your name would be & the winner gets to star in my next movie. That's right. There's a prize incentive being used. Be the first to take advantage of the offer. Whattaya say???

Over the years, many great authors, actresses, & other people have gone by pen names, stage names, aliases, secret identities, or whatever to hide the truth...and celebrity status that may come with it. Among them are Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens), Nora Roberts, J.L. Clyde, C.S. Lewis, Lewis Carroll (Charles Dodgson), J.K. Rowling, Joseph Conrad (Jozef Teodor Konrad Korzeniowski), and my personal favorite Freddy Mercury (Farrokh Bulsara).

This may come as a shock to you...but the author of this blog does not bear the name $teve or Dr. Mookie Tockenbaut Love on his driver's license. Please let me continue. My identity must be kept a secret...for the Truth would be too horrifying. I'll give you a tease though. I'm the world's first non-profit gigolo astronaut cowboy...and my real name is Steven...with a V...for Vendetta, I guess. How did I come to the name Dr. Mookie Love?

Well, I've always like the name "Mookie" since I was a kid because of Daron Oshay Blaylock a.k.a. "Mookie" Blaylock of NBA fame. Check him out in Wikipedia or something if you've never heard of him. I believe he's still the only player to have a quadruple-double where the 4th double digit statistic was steals. I've thought about naming a male child Mookie...but I've heard that it would already give him bad credit. He inspired Eddie Vedder too. Weird, huh? By the way, I've never seen "Do the Right Thing" but apparently Spike Lee's character is named it too. Pure coincidence. Love is just a nice thing to say & do...and everybody wants a title like Doctor or Captain or His Lord Grace Chancellor or something...but Doctor is so popular that nobody will check your credentials without proper motivation.

Now, I will leave you with a Motivation Message that I was told the other day...but thought the picture was a little off. Tell me which one you prefer.

The message is "Lead!!! - Others Will Follow"

A) Be a Leader & others will follow you toward something beautiful