Part 3 - The French Perfection

Bon Jour y'all,

The stage is all set for next Thursday game between the Green Bay Packers and Dallas Cowboys...of which I have a ticket for...and both teams are at the top of the NFC with records of 10-1. First time since 1990 that teams with records like these have met up this late in the season. Last time it was the 49ers and the Giants. It's going to be a great game. Hopefully legendary. One of Brett Favre and Terrell Owens' last games (Predictions: TO gets clocked by a safety...and his career is over...FINALLY. Brett plays until his backup Aaron Rodgers is 32.) Can't wait...but I have a few days in Europe to blog about this morning before going to see the family.

Previously...on Rational Babboon's European Vacation, $teve (who refers himself in the third person sometimes like Bobby on "Shot at Love") was sleeping peacefully in his bunk bed on his way to the French Riviera. We now return you...to your program. (Law & Order chime)

Day 7 - Villefranche, France

After a shower in the test tube that passes for a shower on a cruise ship, the ladies & I went to have breakfast in the Windjammer Cafe. Fruit, corned beef hash, various styles of eggs (with shrimp occasionally), breakfast meats, passion fruit juice, bagel stations, and most importantly...an omelet station. See? You thought I was going to say pancakes...but even a cruise ship has its room for improvement. Oh yeah, it was mentioned on my exit survey. I believe the words "Ridiculous", "Questionable", and "Infectious" were used. During breakfast, We talked about the Art of Scarfing. No, not shoveling food into our mouths...but that's just a skill, not an art. Pat was going on about how much she likes European scarves because they're so much longer and she can do all kinds of things. My response: "Oh, I've heard that before. Allegedly, they hang low, can wobble to and fro, can be tied in a knot and/or bow, even thrown over your shoulder as if you were a continental soldier. Oh yes, they hang low." Another thing about traveling with elderly ladies, sometimes your quick witted reference to a popular children's song in silly conversations...isn't quite caught by the fading ears of experience. Oh well, hopefully it made your day. It sure made mine during an early morning. I crack myself up all the time.

After breakfast, we met up with our tour group and took a temper boat from the boat to the port of Villefranche in the south of France. Here are some shots from the temper of the seaside village. The large stone structure is a former sea fortress that is now a major bus station during tourist season. The bus drivers are incredible. They can fit those behemoths of modern automobility through former moats and passages intended for a horse. Yes, there were some recently exposed brick at some of the hairpin turns...but those were probably from the tourist drivers...certainly not our driver. Mad props.



Being Veteran's Day (which is also celebrated in France), there were a lot of morning parades and activities downtown, so we took the freeway to Cannes instead of the English Promenade (oceanfront drive along the bay) but we still found beautiful architecture...and some interesting architecture. For example, here's the new public library loathingly referred to by the locals as "The Blockhead."

This street was Rue de Renee.

It made me think of my sister-in-law.

Any Eagles fans out there?

Not football, music Eagles fans.

We arrived in Cannes after about an hour drive...and of course, I wanted to go to the convention center were the Cannes Film Festival is held...and see some of the handprints. Which international superstar actor has hands that can compare with those of the young up-and-comer $teve? Well, unfortunately Andre the Giant had never been invited to the festival...but I found a few to at least compare with...

Gregory Peck - To Immortalize a Mockingbird

Sophia Loren - Even in her seventies, she's still hot.

Michael Douglas - These hands have touched

Catherine Zeta-Jones...but they are no match.

The Great Charles Norris - Finally, a worthy opponent.

More than a knuckle on him...

Even the paw of the Pink Panther is no match.

This statue made me think of my mom.

Love ya mom!!!

We then had lunch at the Alba Restaurant (no relation to Jessica...and yes, I asked) and it was a delicous meal of salad, chicken, and sorbet. The discussion at the table turned political so I zoned out and people watched out the window as the older people ragged on my generation...and the younger one too. I know what you're thinking. "$teve, why didn't you stick up for yourself...if not your generation?" Because if you get into a discussion with anybody who was alive during World War 2 - War Harder, you're not going to change their opinion and you're going to lose. "Your generation hasn't had anything to test your muster. You weren't around for Dubya-Dubya Eye-Eye, son." "First off, you were FIVE...and a girl when Pearl Harbor was bombed. Secondly, sir, you're too young for Nam, so what wars did you participate in? The Star Wars? The Cola Wars? Thirdly, our latter-day Dubya is changing that as we speak...so give us some time...and those soldiers half a world away some respect. In the meantime...are you going to finish that sorbet?" Pictures of the harbor outside the window of the restaurant.

Can't think of a better name for a hotel here.

After lunch, we drove to the city of Grasse, home of several of the world's prominent perfumeries...and we visited the legendary Fragonard perfumerie, to see how perfume is made...and made expensively. If any of you are interested in the history, method, and key points of how a perfume is made...and want a bit of murder and/or Dustin Hoffman thrown in, check out that "Perfume: Story of a Murderer" movie that I blogged about a few months ago. It's actually really interesting...but since I really don't have a sense of smell, I picked the scents for the ladies back home based on the smells that it SAID it contains...and crossreferenced it with the impressions and knowledge of the ladies back home. So far, I chose wisely. Whew.

"Okay Charlie, I think I've got it. Bring me some jasmine,

some rose essence, some peach schapps, and sweat from

Adriana Lima's thighs. Hoo-hah!!!"

Next stop was the lovely hilltop mountain village of St. Paul-de-Vence. We approached there as the sun was about to set and walked down the main street (there was only two and the other was a back entrance and parking to the hotel and restaurants in this small town. Here are some beautiful pictures of the city...and the latter during "The Magic Hour" when everything is stunning.

A horse made out of Colts logos?

I don't get it...

Not the real "Thinker" but still cool...

Honestly, one of my favorite pics from the trip.

To me, the tree is like a brainstorming map.

Start with one thought and it branches out to others.

On the drive back to the boat, I sat next to a family of four from the Dallas area...and lucky me will be there next week, so I asked them about the cool stuff to see. Basically, it was the stuff that I already knew about...but they reaffirmed my suspicions. Big thanks to Ed & Julie, their son Matt, and 12-year daughter Kendall. You guys rock!!! Also, we drive back after the sun had set down the English Promenade and saw some of the beautiful hotels. As we went up the mountainside, looking down on the bay, it looked like a lovely diamond necklace sparkling along the coast. Beautiful.


Dinner on the ship included lobster bisque, escargots (oh yeah, I eat garlic snails), and filet of beef. Afterwads, I wanted to relax and watch some football (the exciting American version) and the Eagles were playing an early game...or so I thought...but when I got to the sports bar (only location were sports were allowed), they were watching football...but Beckham, not Brady. Oooh, Croatia and Portugal playing for qualification in next year's Euro 2008. Who cares? Outside of Croatia and Portugal obviously. "The center kicks it to the striker, back to the center, he holds. He holds. He HOLDS. He HOOOLDS. Back to the striker. HOOOOOOOLDS!!!" I went back to the room and watched paint dry...until I fell asleep.

Dreams - Day 7 involved the first episode of freaky dreams caused by unfulfilling motion in the ocean. Dream #1 was especially odd. I really only remember the few minutes before I woke up...but it involved my brother & I being at a farm and we were walking around. We walked into a barn or a stable or something. Inside we found animals like horses and cows and pigs and stuff...but they were stuffed, plush animals. There were also a few plush dolls walking around complete with button eyes and blonde & brown knotted dreadlocks (no redheads, believe me, I looked). If that wasn't creepy enough, they were walking along, kind of hopping, to the tune of "Lean Wit It" by Dem Franchize Boyz. Thinking this rather strange (and noticing some were walking towards us with sickles), Kiel & I hopped into a conveniently parked Cadillac and drove out of there...running through the dolls in a poof of stuffing and some rolling up on the hood. I was driving so my brother would reach over the windshield (droptop) and pull them off, rip them in half and toss them back. It's good to know that he's got my back...even in my dreams. "Look out!!! Horse!!!" POOF!!! "SHEEEEP!!!" Bump-bump-bump-bump... "Elephant!!!" I wake up face down in my pillow. Oh yeah, sometimes my dreams start in a Candyland fantasy...then switch to a muscle car chase movie. I think that I've mentioned this before...but now you know.

Dream #2 - Oh yeah, the night wasn't over. In the next one, I won the lottery. Wanna know the numbers? Okay, I'm willing to share the wealth if you are. The numbers were...5, 15, 25, 50, 55, and of course...69. Sure, that may seem like having a suitcase combination of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...but that's what it was. Go forth and spread the Wealth. Also, one of my good ladyfriends was there to congratulate me. "I guess you just know how to pick 'em." "I have my moments." Why do I mention this? It wasn't the first time that she was in my dreams...but the first time since I had met her about 18 months ago. Think on that one for a second.

Sorry to sell you short, but I think today is only going to be this one day...because I'm going to see my family...and loading these pictures and adjusting them take a long, long time on my laptop. Don't worry, I'll be back tomorrow...and I'm thinking about giving you all three days in Italy. Sorry, I didn't mention this yesterday...but I'm very thankful for...

- My Family & Friends - I love y'all madly...twice
- My Health - Speaking of which, it's about time to donate blood again
- Smiles - Always glad to make you smile
- My Blog and other Blogs - It's been a lot of fun...and it keeps me from being really, really bored
- Readers of my Blog - You guys & gals rock!!!

- Pancakes - 'Nuff said...
- Soldiers Overseas - Nothing but Love for ya, come back safe & soon
- Your Mom - For her smiles & home cookin', not the other stuff. I'm sure that she's thankful for it though.

- Statute of Limitations
- Being a Wiseass isn't a Crime - Yet...

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving with your families. Peace out!!!