Thanks to an enticing offer from a coworker, I may very well be going to Dallas in late November and attending my first NFL game between 'America's team' the Dallas Cowboys (They can burn for all I care really. Go Eagles!!!) and the Green Bay Packers and the immortal Brett Favre. It should be awesome. "The stars shine bright on Thursday night (clap clap clap clap) down in the heart of Texas." The Green Bay Packers have always fascinated me...and I'm gonna tell ya why. Probably half the players in the Hall of Fame played for the Packers...and their home games have been sold out for generations...but the city of Green Bay, Wisconsin only has a population of 103,750. That's a small suburb having one of the most storied franchises in sports history...and nearly the entire population of the town showing up to EVERY SINGLE game. That's awesome. Yet the city of Los Angeles & twenty million inhabitants can't seem to fill a stadium. It's simply remarkable. Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes.
Speaking of football, my team (and Bone Junior's) the Philadelphia Eagles are 0-2 now after losing to the Washington Racists...sorry, Redskins Monday night. Hopefully they'll turn it around soon. They haven't been playing horrible...just losing...but they always start out bad...about half the time they'll turn it around. I'm not expecting a 2-14 season to get another good draft pick like they did to get McNabb. Do you remember who the quarterback was before McNabb? I do...and he was probably the worst quarterback in NFL history. Bonus points if you know off hand...slightly less if you google it.
The Condemned - Okay, so I bit on checking out a movie starring "Stone Cold" Steve Austin & Vinnie Jones about ten death row convicts being stuck on an island and battle to the death for their freedom (see my idea for the REAL Survivor, rip off) and it was a fairly entertaining movie. However, towards the end it got really preachy about exploiting violence for money and all of that stuff...and it proves some valid points...such as convicts make the best athletes (see NFL), there's a lot of money to be had in violence (see NFL, pride fighting, news, boxing, etc.), and that it is morally wrong. Point taken...but I still rented the movie...and a crappy martial arts movie starring Sammo Hung, Michael Biehn, & Maggie Q (chick from "Live Free or Die Hard") called "Dragon Heat" that really wasn't a martial arts movie. It's hard to explain...but it just sucked. Period.
50 Loses the Battle... - Kanye West's "Graduation" album outsold 50 Cent's "Curtis" for the first week of release by the final tally of 957,000 to 691,000. Does this mean that 50 will retire? Will he turn the way of the Rock and want to be known as Curtis Jackson? I sincerely doubt it...and hope not. Anyway, enough of that marketing mess. Anyway, here's Kanye throughing a celebration diamond in the sky. It's the Roc!!! Holla!!!
Today is International Talk like a Pirate Day - Today, nerds all over the globe will be talking like a drunken sailor...or quoting "Pirates or the Caribbean" or "Cutthroat Island" or something. I prefer to talk about my One-Eyed Willie and do the Truffle Shuffle...but not today, because it's Int'l Talk like a Pirate Day...and I'm a landlubber. Anyway, in case some jackass startles you by yelling "Shiver me timbers", just kick him square in the buccaneers and yell back "Raise the mast NOW, beaaaach!!! It's Talk like a Pirate Dizzay!!! Aarrrrrr you okay?"Suing God is stupid!!! - But it's a lot easier than suing Satan...because he has all the best lawyers. (Insert a half-hour of stupid lawyer jokes...we get it) Okay, so Nebraska senator Ernie Chambers is suing God...but it's to prove what we already know here in America, that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody at any time for any reason. However, he may have a point.
- God makes pretty bold threats like believe in Me or live in Hellfire for all of eternity
- He uses weapons like floods, hurricanes, earthquakes, tornados, tsunamis, guilt, and avalanches while others use knives & guns
- He is everywhere. Does that mean that he's spying on me? Or watching me poop? That's twisted AND illegal.
- His late night bowling (thunder storms) are very disturbing to others trying to sleep
- Public urination...some call it rain
Anyway, I suspect that he'll represent himself after the Second Coming, give a big fancy speech about Love and acceptance and apologize for giving us LIFE...but worst-case, if he's found guilty, he can magically disappear with or without dropping a few more plagues on us. That's gangsta!!! By the way, I am fully aware that I'm going to Hell...
Ride the SLUT in Seattle - Okay, so the South Lake Union Streetcar is being called the Trolley so that people can call it the SLUT. Ha ha ha...very funny. You know, those people tried really really hard to come up with a name that people couldn't mock...and this is how they're repayed? South Lake Union Metro (SLUM) didn't send a proper image. SLU Guestmover (SLUG) sounded too 50 cent. SLU Railway (SLUR) would have had some speech impediment joke made about it. You couldn't mess with SLUS...but they found a way. Congratulations Seattle...and I'll see you hopefully next month some time...as I travel from SL,UT (Salt Lake, Utah).
P.S. If any of you know where I can get that shirt that I saw somebody wearing where it has SL,UT on the back and a picture of the state of Utah with stripper legs...please let me know. It's probably from some local pervert...but he's got $10 and a customer if we meet.
Lindsay Davenport is awesome - Normally, women's tennis is little more to me than watching two hot ladies beat the crap out of a little rubber ball with semi-erotic grunts...between close-ups of that firm tennis player backside...but this story is cool. Lindsay Davenport was gone from tennis for almost a year and had a baby in June. The other day she won the first singles tournament that she entered in her return...only three months later. Does having children make you a better tennis player? I'd like to think so...and offer my fertile Myrtle services to Martina Hingis, Maria Sharapova, and just about any other tennis player out there...but Martina, seriously, give me a call. It has been too long.
Student Gets Tasered at Kerry Conference - Good! He was being a jackass. Did the police overreact? Not anymore than the student did. That's all I have to say about that...but I just like seeing this picture of him acting foolish...and then knowing that he gets zapped.
Iron Man Trailer - Okay, so I watched the Iron Man Trailer for next year's movie release starring Robert Downey, jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man among others. I love to see him playing the pompous, fast-talking wise ass billionairre for the first part of the movie...then becoming the superhero. He's among my favorite actors...and I can't wait until May for the movie to hit the screen...but in the meantime...
Robert Downey, Jr. Movies
Medal Winners
Gold - Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005) - If you haven't seen this movie yet, it's smurfin' hilarious & you should watch it. It costars Val Kilmer, Michelle Monaghan, & Corbin Bernsen among others, directed by Shane Black (writer for "Lethal Weapon") and is a dark comedy that told like a first-person detective story. That's all I want to tell you about it. Go rent it tonight...and I guarantee that you'll thank me tomorrow. Money back guarantee. You can't beat that with a baseball bat. In fact, double it. Double your money back guarantee on your satisfaction with this movie.
Silver - Chaplin (1992) - This movie really made him a star (not just that prick high school kid Ian from "Weird Science") and is one of the best biopics out there in my humble opinion. Basically it follows Charlie Chaplin from his humble beginnings to superstardom and into old age smurfing half of Hollywood's hotties along the way (including my Milla Jovovich, Moira Kelly, Marisa Tomei, Penelope Ann Miller, Diane Lane, and others). The physical comedy is pretty good...but I'm going to warn you, it's a fairly long movie at 2.5 hours...so be prepared. He lived a long time...and did a lot of stuff.
Bronze - Natural Born Killers (1994) - As Wayne Gale (Geraldo Rivera's non-union equivalent), he is the Robert Downey that we all enjoy. Fast-talking, heartless, entertaining, and witty...even though it's in this crazy ass Oliver Stone / Quentin Tarantino romance epic that I think that everybody should watch repeatedly. I think it's a good movie...but I'm a little twisted...like everybody involved in the making of this film...so it's all good.
Suggestion - A Scanner Darkly (2006) - Okay, this wasn't a particularly good movie...but it's an adaptation of a Philip Dick novel (like most futuristic movies are) and it's done in some weird cartoon overlay over the actors...so after a few hours, you may get a headache (then again it was probably the beers because I watched it at Brewvie's). It costars Keanu Reeves (whom I bear a striking resemblance to allegedly), Woody Harrelson, and Winona Ryder. It's worth a sit, I guess.
Flush It - Zodiac (2007) - I see really no reason why this movie was made. It's like a documentary about the Zodiac killer of the San Francisco area in the 70's and Bob plays Paul Avery, the columnist who pissed the Zodiac killer off...but he joins up with Jake Gyllenhall to find out...well, nothing really...and I hate to spoil the movie...but nothing happens...after three hours. You'll thank me later. I expected so much more from David Fincher, director of "Se7en" and "Fight Club." Oh well. Maybe next time.
Future Watch - Iron Man (2008) - This has been stated to death. Tropic Thunder (2008) - Matthew McConaughey just replaced Owen Wilson (depression & suicide attempt) on this comedy...and any comedy with Bob Downey AND Matthew McConaughey is worth watching. The Soloist (2009?) - This movie was mentioned in an earlier blog because Jamie Foxx was announced to play the musical homeless man that was popularized by an LA Times columnist (Downey) so that's three future movies I'll probably watch. That's saying something.
Anyway, that's about it for today. I've rambled on long enough about nothing. Have a great day...and keep on laughing.
5 comments:
You know, since this was a Robert Downey Jr.-specific post, I'd say the Scanner Darkly suggestion would be particularly enjoyable for anyone out there looking for good RDJ roles. His character in that flick was probably the most entertaining one in the whole movie. (I liked the movie a lot, btw.)
Hey now, don't be dissin' the Cowboys, man!! I will have to put some Texas whoop ass on you! haha
I am however, a Packers fan :)
On other subjects, I love that movie "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" great stuff. You should check out Downey Jr in "Fur" if you haven't seen it.
I have not seen Fur...but I have seen it at Blockbuster. I may have to check it out. Yeah, Scanner Darkly was pretty cool...but it was my own fault because I drank too much that night. I still occasionally think about Bob as a Cockroach.
GO EAGLES!
Is it sad enough that my ringtone is the Eagles fight song, occasionally rotated with the ESPN Monday Night Football theme?
Thanks for the shout out. Although they're off to a bad start (and how many times have we been here before?), I will continue to faithfully wear my jersey every Sunday, use my pizza cutter that plays the Eagles fight song, and drive around in my Eagles-green car with the giant Eagle in the back windshield. You can't miss me, even if the HOA made me take down my 8-foot Eagles banner...
That's awesome. I want the Monday Night Football theme at my wedding...and drive away in my Eagle green LeMans. I've been there through the days of Randall Cunningham, Buddy Ryan, Jerome Brown, Reggie White, Eric Allen, & Cris Carter...through the Rodney Peete, Ricky Watters, DOUG PEDERSEN (WTF?) years...and through 4 straight NFC championships...so what's yet another slow start?
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