Marilyn, Michael, & Movies

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,


So the other day, I mentioned that I would really like to see a great Marilyn Monroe biographical motion picture. Shortly after I posted that, my fellow coworker / buddy / Ukrainian luster / engineer / movie geek The Mad Scientist informed me that there was an HBO movie made about a decade ago called "Norma Jean & Marilyn" starring Ashley Judd & Mira Sorvino. Really? Wow. I'm not as big a movie geek as I had previously thought. I mean...Ashley Judd is up there with Milla, Angelina, & Adriana on my list. Where the hell was I in 1996 when this first showed up on HBO? Oh yeah, going to school and watching local channels. Anyway, thanks to Blockbuster, it showed up in my mailbox last night...so I watched it. It was a great movie in my opinion (which this blog is based upon). I honestly can't think of a way to make it better. Allow me to elaborate...


First off, as you all should know, it suffers from what I like to call "Titanicism", which is when you know the movie's not going to have a happy ending thanks to meddlesome historical facts. As the opening credits roll, it has the montage of radio reports (establishing the 1950's time frame and filling you in that the movie's about Marilyn Monroe...in case you forgot) and then the movie makers (director, writers, HBO executives) asked themselves, "How do we grasp the attention of the audience so that they'll watch the entire movie? I know!!! We'll have Ashley Judd naked in church. Brilliant!!! Wait, and then, she'll go skinny dipping. Man, it's almost too easy." Bravo to the lovely & talented Ashley Judd for doing this movie. Go Wildcats!!!


Aside from shameless nudity, the story revolves around how Norma Jean had a troubled childhood involving a clinically insane mother, foster care complete with father figure pedofiles, and a burning ambition to be a great actress. As the story goes, she decides the best way to make it as a woman in 50's cinema is to smurf her way to the top...and does so very well...but then develops a schizophrenic personality (we've all been there, right?) and picks up an addiction to alcohol, painkillers, various other medications, and acceptance by others. A lethal combination to say the least. This movie was very similar to "The Notorious Bettie Page" and not just for the incredible views of the female anatomy...but the story about striving to be an actress & just being seen as a piece of gorgeous, curvy meat. The main difference - Marilyn overdosed and died at the age of 36 while Bettie found Jesus and is alive & well at the age of 84.


We all face hardships & see horrible things in our lives...and sometimes we just need good friends & family to help us out through those hardships. Drugs are not the answer...and if you don't believe me just saying it, then I'd be happy to go on a field trip with you to a rehabilitation clinic or some other desireless location to see how they destroy the mind & body over time. I know it doesn't sound like a lot of fun...but I'm willing to help...and I'm sure there are plenty of others out there willing to do the same thing so that you can live a happy, healthy, & productive life...even if it's just blogging away about your opinions and (gasp) feelings. This offer goes for anybody...not just the busty blondes...just in case there was any confusion out there. That's right, even you Courtney Love. We all deserve a second chance. I tend to ramble & drift all over the place and I wanted to make sure that my message was heard. Anyway, see "Norma Jean & Marilyn" and we're off to my next rant...


Michael Vick - Stop rolling your eyes. I just wanted to say one more thing about Mr. Vick and the cluster smurf situation that he's in. Do I think that Michael Vick should be penalized for what he has been a part of? Yes. It was illegal. He should be penalized. Do I think that he should go to jail for it? No. I believe that he should pay a HEFTY fine. Where should the money go? I don't know, how about public schools in Virginia? They could sure use it...and it'll promote thought, which would deteriorate from the allure of dogfighting, right? Why do I think this?

• He's done a lot for his community and the South in general. Sure, you can cynically say that it was a PR move on part of his NFL career...but it was done. How much of your time & money have you donated recently?
• He allegedly killed the dogs after performing badly in dogfights. Have you ever seen a dog that performed badly at a dogfight? Euthenasia perhaps. Okay, that may be a bit of a stretch.
• Also, I'm pretty convinced that he didn't kill the dogs himself. Why? Do you really think that a Pro Bowl quarterback is going to put his billion dollar hands anywhere near a dog that has been trained to kill?
• Sending him to prison for killing dogs would mean that every SUV-driving soccer mom out there should have to spend 30 days in lockup when they hit a dog in the road for involuntary dogslaughter.

These are just my opinions...and I'm not a lawyer or judge or anything (gasp) so I'm sure that he'll get the allotted jail sentence for the gambling charges. I also can't believe it...but Whoopi and I have something in common now. Scary. Maybe one day she'll be funny too. One can only hope. Also, I have an idea of how we can do this dogfighting thing with humans. Now, here me out. What we do is train these humans (probably men) to be vicious, violent individuals specializing in taking other humans to the ground as quick & effectively as possible. Drugs, equipment, incentives, whatever it takes to get the best performance out of them. Then we have them line up eleven on each side and have them fight over something resembling a pigskin chew toy. If they perform badly, we cut them & let them live the rest of their lives with their mental & physical injuries...probably dying long before their prime...all in the name of entertainment. Does this sound kind of morbid & inhumane?

On a completely separate note, the NFL football season starts tonight as the Super Bowl champion Indianapolis Colts take on the New Orleans Saints!!!

Speaking of New Orleans, I don't believe that I've mentioned this on the blog yet...but Tuesday, I will be spending a few days in the Big Easy on a company trip. I've been there a few times pre-Katrina, but this'll be my first time back since then. I expect that it will be a lot of fun...and I'll have plenty of pictures & stories when I get back, I'm sure of it. Speaking of stories from the Louisiana, here are some of my favorites...

New Orleans Movies

Medal Winners

Gold - Interview with the Vampire (1994) - While most probably watched this movie for Mr. Angelina Jolie & Tom Cruise (before he was in the closet), it was a great movie with a dramatic twist to the usual vampire horror...and beautifully set in New Orleans. I've seen a few of the locations used in my previous trips...but I think we're doing a night tour of all the creepy places that'll include some of the spots too next week. Also, this movie made Antonio Benderas a superstar and Kristin Dunst was creepingly sexy despite being...what? Ten?

Silver - A Streetcar Named Desire (1951) - Wanna see Marlon Brando back before he would only work for eight-digit salaries & let himself go? Check out this adaptation of the Tennessee Williams screenplay costarring Vivian Leigh ("Gone with the Wind") as Blanche DuBois, the Southern Belle who moves in with her sister Stella in New Orleans but it tormented by her brutish brother-in-law Stanley (Brando). Simpson fans will also recognize a lot of the lines. Seriously though, it's a classic...and a little tidbit about the play. Tennessee Williams actually based the title on a streetcar with the name of Desiree (Dez-ah-ray, to those who have never dated a girl named that). Here's to typos!!!

Bronze - Deja Vu (2006) - A Tony Scott action movie involving time travel, New Orleans, Denzel, destiny, and Jesus as the crazy bomber (face it Jim Caviezel, you'll never live it down), what's not to like about this movie? I didn't even have to mention the fact that VAL KILMER is in it...or that Adam Goldberg provides comic relief...or that Paula Patton is really really hot. So the story goes like this, a ferry on the Mississippi River is blown up and during the investigation, an ATF agent (Denzel) discovers a body nearby that is somehow linked to the explosion...but how? She also seems familiar to him for some reason. He helps out a mysterious branch of the FBI that has surveillance satellites that can see anything within range...but oddly enough only 4 days prior. Hmm, intrigued? Watch the movie anyway. It's pretty cool.

Suggestion - The Client (1994) - A lot of you have probably seen this one...but then again, if I've seen it, then you probably have to. Here's the plot according to IMDB: "A street-wise kid, Mark Sway (Brad Renfro), sees the suicide of Jerome Clifford, a prominent Louisiana lawyer, whose current client is Barry 'The Blade' Muldano (Anthony LaPaglia), a Mafia hit-man. Before Jerome shoots himself, he tells Mark where the body of Senator Boyd Boyette is buried. Mark escapes, and Clifford shoots himself. Mark is found at the scene, and both the FBI and the Mafia quickly realize that Mark probably knows more than he says. Mark decides he needs a lawyer, and goes looking for one. He finds Reggie Love (Susan Sarandon), who also becomes convinced that Mark knows more than he says, but Mark isn't talking..." Intrigued? Well, Tommy Lee Jones & Mary Louise Parker are in it too, if that helps.

Flush It - Hard Target (1993) - Saying that it's one of Van Damme's best is like saying it's the tallest midget. It still comes up short. However, this is not one of Van Damme's best (gasp) and I may elaborate on the better ones on a future post. I still like this movie for what it is...an action movie about hunting the most deadly game of all - Man. Directed by John Woo, starring Lance Henriksen, Arnold Vosloo, Yancy Butler, and other B-stars, I have to say that my favorite performance is given by Mr. Diabetes himself, Wilford Brimley as the lovable creole Uncle Douvee. If you thought that you could barely understand him on the commercials because of his moustache...wait until you hear him speak all cajun-like. By the way, I would have said "Angel Heart" here...but you've already heard enough about that movie.

Future Watch - Deja Vu Deux (2010?) - Okay, that's probably not going to happen. I just made it up...or did I? Actually, I'm just glad that they're filming in New Orleans again & the city is on the long trek back to the greatness that it was back in 2005. It's a beautiful city that has provided dramatic background to other films like "Runaway Jury", "Double Jeopardy", "Skeleton Key", "Pelican Brief", and "Girls Gone Wild: Doggy Style." The South will rise again!!!