Monday, September 24, 2007

Sunday Rainy Sunday

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Yesterday was a good day. First off, I didn't work. I like those days. Secondly, I went to see my mom for the day in the beautiful city of Eden. I completely forgot that it was fall...and even though the weather was gloomy & rainy, it was absolutely gorgeous with all the browns, golds, oranges, reds, and the reflection off the lake on the drive over there. I would recommend the drive to anybody, but please do it soon. We had our first hint of snow last night, so the colorful leaves will probably fall off soon (hence the season) and I blame Al Gore. I didn't have my good camera...but I did take this picture on my phone. I hope that it gives you an idea...and convinces you that Utah is a beautiful place that everyone should get out & see if they get the chance...before it's too late.


My mom's is a calming place for me. Whenever I'm feeling a little stressed and just need to get away for a day or something, I know that I can go there and talk with her...as she has me do manual labor that she's been procrastinating or that my stepdad simply won't do. Luckily, she didn't have any tasks this time. I wasn't particularly stressed or anything. I just wanted to say howdy & hang with her for a few hours. Also, my niece Kairi was up there...and she's a lot of fun. I also watched a little football and want to thank the Philadelphia Eagles for FINALLY winning a game...and in convincing fashion over the previously undefeated Detroit Lions, 56-21. Not only that, but they did it wearing probably the most God-awful uniforms ever designed. It was like the Michigan outfit...but with UCLA colors. Great job guys!!!


For dinner, she made me my favorite dinner, Danish Pork. Basically, it's a pound or so of pork tenderloin covered in flour, then fried in a half-stick of butter. Add mushrooms. Make a creamy sauce of half & half with a few squirts of ketchup. Simmer a bit. Serve on top of rice...or asparagus is also pretty good with it. It's really the one really good slightly exotic meal that I know how to cook and it's delicious. I have used it more than once to impress the ladies...and they like the fact that I'm willing to cook them a healthy meal using vegetables like asparagus (forgetting that they saw me simmer tenderloin in butter & make a creamy sauce). I have a few other specialties...but my mom makes Danish Pork the best.


After dinner, I said bye to my mom and drove my niece home to my brother's and hung out there for a few hours before driving home in a torential downpour. Good times. When I got home, I felt like watching a movie...so I threw in one that I recently rented from Blockbuster that looked promising, "DOA: Dead or Alive." Yes, it's based on a cheesy video game...and an even cheesier sequel where the characters play volleyball...but this movie was actually pretty good. I've never played the video games...but I've seen the commercials and I recall my brother renting it once & telling me about it. The movie was actually very good...considering the material. It your usual "Fighting tournament held on a remote island with an evil mastermind hosting it" format...and the cast is pretty good. Jaime Pressley is Tina Armstrong, a southern belle wrassler and Kevin Nash (WWE) plays her father, Bass. There's also a lot of other hotties like Devon Aoki (Sin City), Holly Valance (Prison Break), Sarah Carter (really hot), Natassia Malthe, and others. Not only that, but Eric Roberts (named Donovan) is an evil mastermind, Mark Marsden (Cyclops) is a thief, and even video game movie veteran Robin Shou (Lui Kang in Mortal Kombat) has a cameo as a pirate. Full of great action scenes, some wit, and one of the coolest deleted scenes ever where Donovan has a conversation with his computer genius Weatherby and makes a reference to a cheat code that my brother told me about.


Donovan: "This Kasumi (Aoki) is a most interesting specimen."
Weatherby: "Would you like me to make her naked? I can do that."
Donovan: "Weatherby! We are scientists. We are conducting this experiment in the pursuit of... yeah, make her naked."


I like it when a movie sticks to the video game for the most part...no matter how far-fetched the storyline may be. So without further ado, here is my prognosis of movies made from video games. Enjoy!!!


Video Game Movies


Medal Winners


Gold - Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) - Don't judge me. It's actually a great movie. I'm a big fan of Indiana Jones, the Librarian, Goonies, even National Treasure and all those treasure hunting movies. Then you throw in robots, wiseass assistants, a butler with a shotgun, ninjas (okay, a legion of evil minions in black), and an Angelina Jolie shower scene. My friend, you have earned yourself a gold medal from this blogger. Oh yeah...and lest I forget the stunningly hot female ass-kicking character with an okay British accent, lots of guns, fully loaded ti...I mean clips, a bit of a wiseass in her own right, and sticking to the source material faithfully. Oh yeah, this is a great movie...and the sequel "Cradle of Life" (2003) had King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) in a role where he doesn't yell everything. Great flicks...check 'em out.


Silver - Mortal Kombat (1995) - To me, Christopher Lambert will always be the Highlander...but they needed an actor with a great voice for a thunder god...and Billy Dee Williams or Alan Rickman weren't available...and Tim Curry isn't intimidating unless he has giant horns and a lot of red makeup. What was my point? I forget. It was an okay movie...and stuck to the video game (sometimes too much) but it was a lot of fun (especially as a young teenager) and Bridgette Wilson & Talisa Soto are really hot. I also thought that it was kind of funny that the movie had a lower parental advisory rating than the video game...but those kids are your target demographic. The sequel's okay too. James Remar has the Raiden voice. I think he's a smoker.


Bronze - Street Fighter (1994) - Again, this is purely MY list. I like the Jean Claude Van Damme movies, no matter how silly they are to everybody except him. I'm also a big Street Fighter fan (back when I played a lot of video games...before turning 15 and working & going to school full-time). Raul Julia is hilarious as M. Bison (Gomez Addams' dictator brother?) and Kylie Minogue is hot...and plays Cammy. There's action, super cheesy video game references, Jean Claude giving speeches in his Belgian accent, a Godzilla reference, stealth boats, and enough nerdy things to keep you entertained thoroughly...especially if you've played the video game...a lot. Jean Claude does a backflip kick too. Twice.


Suggestion - Silent Hill (2006) - This was actually a pretty creepy movie...despite occasional stupid lines like "It looks like there was a fire here" after they spent the first hour-and-a-half of the movie in a charred-out miner town. DERRR!!! Other than that though, it has a creepy atmosphere (from the director of Brotherhood of the Wolf) and a creepy storyline. Again, I've never actually played the game...but I assume it's a Resident Evil RPG mold. In case you were wondering why Resident Evil didn't make the list...it has been mentioned a few times...and I like to keep my blog fresh. By the way, The Mad Scientist says that Milla's newest movie Resident Evil: Extinction is worth the price of admission...and he would know...he's a scientist.


Flush It - Super Mario Bros. (1993) - Dennis Hopper may have been experimenting during this phase of his life. "So...you want me to play this giant lizard guy Koopa...and have blonde cornrows on my head...and say a bunch of stupid video game stuff, is that right? How much are you going to pay me? Oh, really? Well then, I think we have a deal." I do like how they make fun at the whole, "Your name is Mario Mario?" aspect but other than that...I check out my MySpace videos for a few better Super Mario videos than this. Don't worry, I'm not going to make fun of Bob Hoskins or John Leguizamo for doing it...because they could have used the work back then.


Future Watch - Hitman (2007) - Sure, it seems like a Transporter 3 with Timothy Olyphant at the wheel, but I don't care. I've never played Halo, or care to, so that's not anticipated by me. However, here are a few suggestions for future video game movies out there.
  • The Adventures of Bayou Billy - Tell me this wouldn't work. Adventure, Louisiana, it's Crocodile Dundee...starring Matthew McConaughey. Tell me that you wouldn't go see this movie, ladies.
  • Alien vs. Predator vs. Metroid - If you think that it's super cheesy that the humans always seem to win in the Alien & Predator movies, I say level the playing field. Let Samus come in with the vast array of weaponry and have to eliminate a alien species from the planet (video game plot). In the finale, everybody's wondering who played Samus...and it's a huge rumor secret...and the actor ends up being...Adriana Lima? Directed by Dr. Mookie Love.
  • Mega Man - Christopher Walken as Dr. Wiley, Haley Joel Osment as Mega Man (Oh yeah, he's gotta be a man by now. Does he still act?), and a lot of predictable robots. You could even have Dennis Hopper as Bomberman or something...
  • Grand Theft Auto - I wonder if this would be rated R...
  • Tetris - Okay, this one is going to take further thought...but only because I'm trying to figure out how to work the car chase scene to the tune of Havah Nagilah as the blocks fall from the sky. Directed by Tony Scott. Any thoughts?

Anyway, those are my thoughts of the day. I'd love to hear what you'd like to see on a movie screen near you. Have a great night!!!

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