The Big Easy Prequel

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Concert Announcement This Friday - My buddy Spitsofrantic and Soul Shakers Entertainment will be live in the flesh at Kamikaze's at 24th & Adams in Ogden, Utah...this Friday, September 21st. This memorable performance will kick off their interstate tour, so if you're looking for a great concert, Kamikaze's is the place this weekend. Holla!!!

I'd first like to start the day off with something that happened to me, that I feel I need to share...for no particular reason other than you might find it as funny as I did...afterwards. So I was at work yesterday & I had a paper to give to a lady...who I'm not going to lie, I think is really really hot. Anyway, I caught her in route as she was heading home.

"Excuse me miss, I have this paper for you."
"Oh sorry $teve, I'm on my way home."
"That's cool. It's not important or anything."
"Would you mind just putting it in my box?"
"I would gladly put anything you wanted me to in your box..."

This was when I realized that I had switched into my Barry White voice (some kind of reflex)...and actually said those words out loud. She had caught it too...but kind of laughed it off...but I meant every word. Anyway, that was that. She went home & I continued with my work day. Again, make awkward involuntary sexual innuendo, not war.

More New Orleans

Without further ado, here are some suggested things to do in the wonderful city of New Orleans that I had the experience of doing during my trips a little over two years ago, when I had more time to do fun stuff. So a hea hea go...

First off, I just wanted to through in this portrait of King Louis XVI that my buddy Spitso & I saw at the hotel. We liked it...because it's the King of France grabbing his crotch...and so we thought that whenever we posed for pictures in New Orleans, we would grab our crotches...luckily, we didn't pose much. Enjoy.

St. Louis Cathedral in Jackson Square

In front of the house where Jefferson Davis died

This guy on the right is grabbing himself too...

French Quarter - Everybody knows that Bourbon Street is the place to get your drink on & see some complimentary frontal nudity as long as you don't mind walking through vomit half the time. However, there are many other areas & streets worth a gander. For example, one block away from Bourbon Street is Royal Street, which is excellent for antique shopping, souvenior shopping, and seeing similar French Quarter architecture to Bourbon Street but without 90% less drunken behavior. Also, you can find Jackson Square & the St. Louis Cathedral, also surrounded by souvenior shops & restaurants...and adjacent to the Riverfront, so that you can see the mighty Mississippi River. Everywhere that you go, there's music playing - at the restaurants, street performers, from the riverfront, etc.

Aquariums are always cool...but I didn't see this one.

Statue of Jean-Baptiste Le Moyne de Bienville

Founder of New Orleans (1680-1767)

The place that the locals go for fun & good food (allegedly) is Frenchman's Street just outside of the French Quarter...but you can take the street cars over there...and if you like soul food like I do, check out the Praline Connection. Jambalaya, alligator sausage, red beans & rice, collard greens, cornbread, barbecue anything, all the necessities at a moderate price...and the service is friendly & spectacular. It's kitty corner from this mural if you get lost.

Steamboat Natchez Cruise - While on the Riverfront, you can take a cruise on a steamboat like Tom Sawyer (Or was it Huck Finn? Or his buddy N-word Jim?). As you board, you hear the calliope playing various tunes and once you're inside they have live entertainment with turn of the century ragtime music playing, a southern buffet lunch, and beverages...then a tour guide over the intercom system discussing points of interest such as where the Battle of New Orleans happened, where Tennessee Williams lived, etc.

The Big Easy Skyline

Garden District - Take the streetcar on the St. Charles Line out past Lee's Circle and until the 3rd Street stop (about a thirty minute ride for a buck or so). From there you can walk around and check out some of the beautiful Victorian style homes from the 18th & 19th centuries...and maybe one of the owners will invite you over for a mint julep. Believe me, it happens. There are also a few cemetaries that you can walk through if you're into that thing. Here are some examples...

Honey Island Swamp Tours - This was really cool. They'll pick you up at the hotel & drive you out into the swamp area (about a 45 minute drive) and take you on a boat. Along the way, you see the equivalent of a swampland trailer park...and alligators all around...and just get to soak in the environment. It's an experience that everybody should experience. It was only like $40 if I remember right too.

Lots of gators in dem swamps...

Plantation Tours - Similar to the Swamp Tour, it's about an hour drive that they'll take you on to get out to the Oak Alley & Laura Plantations (birthplace of the Brer Rabbit). The picture speak more than I ever could...so here they go.

Laura Plantation

Oak Alley Plantation

A Magnolia Tree in bloom

My mama & grandma under the old oak tree.

I took them to New Orleans for Mother's Day.

New Orleans Voodoo Football - If you like REAL football and not Real soccer, then you can get a good seat at an AFL game for $30-$40 and soak up the atmosphere and thrill of competition...and get a good view of some cheerleaders. I went with my grandma...and she loved it. That's right, the same grandma that's going to Europe with me in a few months.

Participants of the Yummy Mummy contest at halftime

Artsy Stuff - If you like art exhibits & museums and stuff like that, there are plenty of them in New Orleans. However, I didn't see any of them...but I hotel that I stayed at was like an art museum that you can spend the night at...so here are some examples of the exhibits at the Renaissance Arts Hotel on Tchoupitoulas Street (pronounced 'this street' and point).

This guy Chihuly blows glass...to make these chandelieurs

This was drawn by a gorilla found near the city of Zinj

This was more impressive in motion...

Cemetary Tours - If you're one of the cool kids who ain't afraid of no ghosts, then you can walk around the above-ground cemetaries during the day to check out the amazing marble work & read some of the dates on the tombstones like 1796 and 1815 and stuff like that. I think it's cool. Then if you're really cool, you can take the Bloody Mary midnight tour. Take the Canal Street car to the end of the line, walk into the bar across the street, that's where Bloody Mary resides (stop laughing, it's true), give her twenty bucks (or negotiate) and she'll take you into a cemetary for about two hours & share stories and pictures of past visits...and talk about some of the culture of the region, etc. It's pretty cool...and with a breeze through the trees, it can be really creepy...so guys, bring your gals. Convince them that you're just going to a cool bar that a local told you about...then say, "This looks fun. Let's do that. I'll protect you."

They all don't stay put...zombies do exist...

Mother Theresa herself may be roaming...

I wonder what she's thinking...

"Do you want some help with that, Jesus?"

"Yeah, get outta my way lady!!!"

Anyway, that's my spiel on New Orleans. I hope that I sold you on the fact that it's a pretty nifty place & you should check it out when you get the chance.

I think I'll call that a night...since it's about my lunch time & there's free pizza here at work. This just in, I may ALSO be going to Dallas for my first NFL game after Thanksgiving. Sweet, huh? I just can't get enough vacations nowadays. I'll keep you posted of course. Peace!!!