Wow!!! I haven't felt this way in a long, long time. I am very, very ill right now...but here at work at 6 AM...and off three hours sleep because I went to my buddy's show last night (and it was a great show). Why? Because I said that I would be at both places. Dependability. Okay, enough about that. Here's what happened yesterday...
After my morning blog (now 5 days in a row), my brother Kiel called & wanted to hang out. I was feeling rather ill as you may recall, but it was better than staying in my house all day sweating it out of my like a tepee until I had visions & I was planning on going to the show by his house anyway...so I went. For those of you who don't know my brother, loved ones refer to him as a jackass, so you can only imagine what others refer to him as. I don't know what it is, but he must have lost most frontal lobe activity years ago because he'll usually just say & do whatever the hell he wants with nobody's consideration whatsoever. Not only that, he loves noise...constantly, even if he has to make it himself. I wasn't in the mood for noise throughout the day because of my pulsating noggin & overall sore, crappy feeling...basically what I've got right now. Don't get me wrong, I love the punk...but he really is just a prick 99% of the time...and swears like it's his native language, no matter where he is.
For example, we went to see his pregnant wife Ashley while she was working a 10 hour day (he's unemployed, by the way) at Carl's Super Saver. As the name might imply, it's a place where people who live on budgets purchase groceries. As we're waiting for Ashley to check out her line & go on lunch, he just rants on about how ugly everything is & how they need to spend some money on making the place look nice & standard upkeep (remember that every word is very loud & interjected with 2-3 vulgar adjectives between each noun or verb). Then, to get him out of the checkout area, we go to the employee lounge...and he continues on & on...with the manager not ten feet away doing her job. "Honey, my boss is right in the hallway." "(edit) her, she can't hear me. She's not doing a good job anyway." Yeah, like that...one of several examples yesterday...but I was too distracted & exhausted to really get into any kind of argument with him yesterday, other than to say "Dude, just shut up. You can tell me all about how run-down this place is when we get home." Then I would nap as he complained about nothing to do with him. It was surprisingly soothing...like a babbling brook...full of sailors.
Anyway, after a day of that, we went to my 'brother' Andy's (Spitsofrantic) show at Brewski's in Ogden. It was much nicer than the cell phone pictures make it out to be. By the way, I consider Andy & his brother Isaiha my brothers...because though we have different parents, we've been friends for nearly 20 years now, we've been there for eachother through the hard times & the good, and family is both the people that you're related to genetically & the people that you have strong, positive relationships with throughout your life. That's why, even though I was feeling so terrible...and still am even, you can bet your sweet bippy that I was there to cheer my brother on during his record-release party.
The opening act was a group called "Lump Sum" and they were pretty good. The guy who followed them up, I didn't enjoy at all...but his girlfriend was really hot. I was more transfixed on her than whatever he was yelling about up on the stage. Then it was time for Spitso...and he, Rha, & J'Sun brought the house down...at least by Ogden club standards. His kind of hip-hop is the more 'old school'/revolutionary kind of hip-hop with a message about rising up out of the system...and I would definitely recommend checking out his MySpace for a free sample...or you can purchase the album "Hood Vibrations" for $10 through him or Uprok Records in Salt Lake City. It's worth at least a listen, even if you're not into rap music. Anyway, that's my word.Now, I didn't drink last night, so I made a few observations. First, if you have a splitting headache & have felt sore all day, then you probably don't want to go to a jam-packed club and hang out in the pit at a hip-hop performance. You can feel the bass hit in your teeth...and it's not that pleasant. Secondly, I noticed a tall, fairly attractive woman who was wearing a mini-skirt, high heels, librarian sunglasses, her hair up in a bun revealing a dreamcatcher tattoo on her back, and a handkerchief as a top. Honestly, I'm not sure what was holding the handkerchief up, but then I realized that it wasn't that appealing of a look. Then I heard a voice in my head (one of many) say, "Sometimes, it's what's left to the imagination that's sexy." Normally, I would disregard this voice & it's radical idea...but it sounded like Claudia Schiffer, so I bought it a drink...of water.
After the show, I drove home & went immediately to bed for a few hours of head-pounding sleep. It was a great show & I'm glad that I went...despite the physical ailments. Chances are, when I'm off work today, I'm going straight to bed...at 3 PM...or at least napping. Tomorrow, I get to tune up my car for registration. Yay!!! Now for the moment that you've all been waiting for...please find attached the legendary (at least for the past week) Boyfriend Application that I filled out the other day.
1. Name: Steve
2. D.O.B: 4/26/81 That makes me 26
3. Eye Color: Blue
4. Hair Color: Brown
5. Hobbies/Interests: Basketball, movies, etc.
6. Talents: Singing voice? Sense of humor
7. Major: Marketing
8. If Going to College Where: Finished at the U & SLCC
9. Future Goals: World Domination
ALL ABOUT YOU:
1. Favorite band: Parliament Funkadelic
2. Favorite song: "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
3. Favorite book: "A Wrinkle In Time" by Madeline L'Engle
4. Favorite philosopher: Niccolo Machiavelli
5. Favorite color: Green or Blue
6. Favorite day of the week: Payday...or Saturday
7. Piercings: Nope
8. Tattoos: Not yet
9. Smoker?: Not at all
10. Drinker? How much, how often?: Yes, but never too much
11. Pot? How much, how often?: Nope on the dope
12. Drugs?: No thank you, not even aspirin
13. Do you like sports?: Basketball & Footbal among others
14. Video games?: They're okay but I don't obsess or anything
15. How often do you lie?: Only when for the greater good, so very rarely
16. To whom and for what reasons?: Oh...for the greater good...but I've been told that I'm too honest sometimes.
17. What was the last thing you stole?: Second base? Let's see, I stole a Hot Pocket from my brother a few weeks ago...but I was really hungry at the time.
18. Have you ever cheated?: Yes...at Battleship. It comes with being really tall & reading people's reactions. I'm not proud of it. Oh...but never on a girlfriend.
19. What is your mood generally? Silly & a bit of a smartass
20. How often do you cry? Very very rarely...but I'll admit to it. Usually when my heart is broken.
21. Do you cry in movies? I did during a date watching "Ray" and felt like a jackass.
23. What makes you cry the most? No question #22? Emotional pain
24. Do you get aggitated easily? No
25. Do you judge people on the outside or in? First impression are usually outside...but I like to get to know people before setting it in stone.
26. Are you close with your family? Yes
27. Are you respectful to your mother? She's the love of my life so far. I guess that makes me a mama's boy...sort of.
28. What's the worst thing you've ever done? Showed up to walk-on tryouts at the U hung over. The coaches were impressed with the play...but not the smell.
29. Most embarassing childhood memory? Singing a song in my 4th grade play & forgetting the words because of stage fright or something.
30. Are you a good kisser? I've never heard complaints.
31. Are you reliable? Yes ma'am. It's why I'm a prized commodity at my job.
32. Do you call back when you get a call and miss it? Unless I'm at work...then I'll wait until my break. Company policy.
33. Can you maintain control? Usually. I'm a pretty mellow guy...but we all have our outburts, I guess.
34. If you had a choice would you choose soda or water? Usually water...but I like Mountain Dew once in a while.
35. What's your favorite dessert? Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream
36. How would you describe your sense of humor? Massive...and consistent
37. Can you laugh at yourself? Every time I look in the mirror
38. Are other people allowed to laugh at you? Absolutely. I live for it.
39. Who is your favorite comedian? Anyone who's funny.
40. Your favorite show on Comedy Central? South Park or Drawn Together
41. Is humor important to you? Why or why not? Absolutely, I live to make people laugh & feel good.
42. Do people ever accuse you of being too serious or, conversely, too silly? Too silly most of the time...but I know when & where it's appropriate.
43. What's your favorite joke? Two guys walk into a bar...a third guy ducks. It's lame...but I'm usually funnier in person...and it's the best I can do on short notice.
44. Do you like to cook? Yes
45. Can you cook? I can do okay...but I'm no Emeril.
46. Your idea of a perfect date? Nice dinner out with a fun & insightful conversation, walk around town afterwards, chillax at home, watch a movie, start to make out, this obviously isn't a first date...but as long as a good time is being had, it's all good.
47. Do you like to dance/ sing? Dancing, most of the time. Singing, yeah I do karaoke once in a while. I actually just did a duet of "Fat Bottom Girls" with my buddy tonight
48. Do you like clubbing, if yes/ where? Not a veteran by any means, but if I have a lovely lady with me, I'll dance all night long.
49. Are you afraid of trying something new? Never...except when it's severely detremental to my safety or others (drugs).
THIS HAS TO BE IN PEFECT HONESTY AND SINCERITY!! ESSAY: Why should you be considered? What would make me interested in even considering it? What do you like to do, and what are you like? In perfect honesty, I'm not sure what to say. I'm a nice guy. I think that you're very cute. I love to make people laugh & feel good all the time. I'm a gentleman, you can ask anybody who's ever known me (it's how I was raised), and you just seem like a nice person. If you don't want to get to know me though, I understand. I'm just a little buzzed & checking out singles in the area...and you caught my eye. That's the honest truth. I hope that you consider it.
Follow-up: Apparently, she's read the message...and I haven't heard back from her. Big surprise, huh? Oh well, her loss. Like I said, I was probably eliminated on Question #2. Eight years difference is a lot.
Entertainment News - Speaking of making a difference, Gwyneth Paltrow has recently said that she may not have children anymore. Of course, being an actress, she was very vague about the decision...but she has a 3-year old daughter Apple & one-year old son Moses (was going to be Mac). I hope that this decision wasn't made because of my comments the other day about her children's names. All I asked is that you consider the kids when they get into high school. "Mmm, I'd love to eat an Apple", "Moses? Is your brother's name Ramses?", I mean...I just made a reference at their expense saying that Moses was originally going to be Mac to go along with his sister Apple in some kind of computer package...and I'm an immature 26-year old man. Long story short, Gwyneth & Chris, I encourage you to have children...and don't let me or any other blogger out there sway you differently.
Odd News of the Day - In related news, a 21-year old woman in Seattle attacked a karaoke singing patron Thursday night, telling him that he 'sucked' before pushing & punching. It took a few gentlemen to hold her down including an off-duty police officer, who was headbutted by the woman a few times. How is this news related? The karaoke singing patron was singing "Yellow" by Coldplay, whose lead singer is Chris Martin, husband of Gwyneth Paltrow. Coincidence?
Well, I guess I'd better let you all get on with your days. Enjoy the weekend everybody!!! Drive responsibly!!!
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