Pepperwoodstock

Ladies & Gentlemen, I come to you with a heavy liver & a smile on my face,

Shortly after blogging all over the place last night, my friends Wingman, Brown Bear, & myself set out for the Pepperwood gated community for an annual event called Pepperwoodstock. There were more yuppies than hippies at this concert event, but still a lot of fun. For those of you who don't know, Brown Bear is a bird lady. She loves her birds...like more than a friend. Anyway, one of her fellow bird ladies was hosting the shindig at her house/mansion. Thanks Kerry!!!

• At the gate to the community, in honor of our constant pursuit of messing with people, a guard came to the gate and asked, "Who are you visiting?" Brown Bear replied, "Jenna Jamison." The guard checks his list, "What was that name?" "Jenna Jamison. She's throwing a party tonight. Pepperwoodstock." "Oh, okay. Go on through."
• Some of you are probably wondering why I spelled Jenna Jameson's name incorrectly in the dialogue. Just to keep you on your toes...and force you to admit to yourself that you enjoy her work.
• I noticed an incredibly large white house on the side of the mountain that looked like a hotel. It's the largest home in the state of Utah, according to my Wingman (and he knows his stuff). It's a residence for two adults with no children apparently. I wonder if they were looking into adopting a 26-year old who can go potty all by himself.
• We knew we were at the right house when we walked up to the front door & instead of a menacing lion, dragon, or dog at the entryway, there was a rooster...and several stained glass cockatoos in the windows. "I wonder if this lady likes birds."
• I was introduced to the hosts of the party, then when the ladies went to check out her 16 birds on the premises, my Wingman & I headed for the open bar.
• I tried my first Mojito coming highly recommended by the upper echelon of society that I was surrounded by. It was pretty good. Nothing spectacular...but palettable.
• The food was excellent. Ironically, chicken was served, so you know that I had to eat a few bites in the bird room. "Don't bite...or you could be next. There are children here."
• There was a live band called "This Is Your Band" that did live versions of karaoke tracks for spectators as well as rock classics on their own. They were very impressive.
• Shortly into dinner, it began to rain substantially but only for about twenty minutes, then this rainbow came out to let everybody know that it was safe for the heavy drinking. Please note the stained-glass window with the cockatoo.

• We made the rounds & I was introduced to a lot of great people. There was also some high society jailbait but I kept to myself for the most part, enjoying the LDS approved strawberry daiquiris...that I took directly to the open bar, "Could you deflower this drink for me please? Thank you very much."
• We shot some pool in their rumpus room (complete with drum kit & guitar collection, one signed by Richie Sambora a.k.a. the Luckiest Mother Lover on this planet)
• There was an 11-year old brat pool shark watching our game of 9-ball & felt that his comments were necessary. They were not. His life was in jeopardy & he didn't even know it. I don't take well to brats. Sorry...
• As the sun went down, we decided to enjoy the spectacular view of the mountains, the sunsetting clouds, & the band.
• Brown Bear wanted the Wingman to sing her a song on stage. After cycling through the list for several minutes, it seemed like there was nothing that he wanted to sing......alone. That's when his Wingman stepped in & offered his services.


• "Fat Bottomed Girls" by Queen is one of the greatest party songs of all time. Period. We think that we did it justice...but in all fairness, we were really, really drunk. Here's a picture...

• We were on our way home to watch a movie when the host ran into us and said, "You're not leaving already, are you?" "No, of course not (anymore)."
• Inside the house, we stayed for another hour & they talked with another couple about bird toys & how Brown Bear's bird can pick any lock & destroy any toy within a few hours tops. Apparently, Louie is the Houdini of the Skies.
• I tried hard to pay attention...but the booze was kicking in pretty good...and the only thing that kept me sharp was the fact that I was standing on the stairs...and to doze off could prove very painful.
• Usually time goes by quickly when I'm intoxicated...but not this time. Don't get me wrong, the people were funny & very nice. It just wasn't my material...and I was getting sleepy.
• On the way out, I had to ask Brown Bear, "Aaaaaaaare you gonna take me home tonight?" "Yeah, I'm your ride, remember?" "Aaaaaah down beside the red firelight?" "What the hell are you talking about?" "It's the song that we just...never mind. Where's the bathroom? I don't think I'm gonna make it home with a full bladder." TMI? Also, if you don't get the reference, please listen to the sample provided at Fat Bottomed Girls.


• I logged onto MySpace real quick...and filled out a Boyfriend Application for some cute girl that seems pretty cool that I found browsing...but she's 18. Stop laughing, I found out after I filled it out. Yeah, I think I'm probably disapproved after Question #2 (DOB) but we'll see. I was Honest...and you get what you pay for with Honesty.


• Slept like a log...

This Morning

• Showered - Paint your own picture


• Was extremely thirsty & dehydrated for some reason...so I went to the store because all my non-alcoholic beverages were depleted.


• At Albertson's, I was grabbing some delicious Arizona Teas when I noticed an elderly lady by the Mountain Dew. She was taking two 24 oz. bottles from the 6-pack of 24 oz. bottles. I felt like I should say something, but I feel the conversation would have gone something like, "Excuse me ma'am. They don't sell those bottles individually." "Mind your business, Too Tall. I was in Korea." "Ugh...okay. Enjoy your beverage." "WHAT?" "I said enjoy yo..." "WHAAT?" "Enjoy your..." "YEEEAAAH!"


• The part of elderly woman was played by rapper Lil Jon in my head. I was still a little buzzed. This was also moments after I saw an attractive jogger selecting her doughnuts from the bottom shelf and heard "Drop it like it's hot, drop drop it like it's hot. Drop it like it's hot, drop drop it like it's hot." Apparently I have an opportunistic iPod in my head. It just goes off when the occassion arises.


• After drinking some tea & getting some grub, I came to work...and blogged. That's all for now. I hope you enjoyed my little adventure.

Sports News of the Day - Barry Bonds hit his 755th career home run to tie Hank Aaron's record. On the same day, Alex "A-Rod" Rodriguez became the youngest to hit 500 in a career, just a few days after his 32nd birthday. He broke the old record by over a year. What does this mean? Nothing really right now...but I just thought that I'd tell ya. Also, I like how MLB commissioner Bud Selig didn't even stand up to congratulate Bonds until the owner of the Texas Rangers suggested it. Priceless. It makes me glad that I'm not the only who doesn't really care.

Take care & God bless!!!