I'd also like to wish a merry welcome to all the single mothers out there too...because you deserve another day. Fathers never seem to get the respect that they deserve...usually because they're not there to talk to you when you're feeling down, kiss your boo-boo's better, or cook you a fine meal everyday. Why? Because they're out there busting their hump to earn money to provide for the food, band-aids, clothing, shelter, electricity, & everything else that our society requires. Even on the weekends, they're mowing the lawn, working on the car, fixing that leak in the sink, figuring out why the swamp cooler isn't working, cleaning the gutters, repaving the driveway, cutting the firewood, picking weeds from the garden, restaining the fence, painting the house, and so on to make sure that the house is in order. Even at night, probably the best part of his day is finding the man in the boat...and that can be an tiring search when you're still buzzed from paint fumes & heat exhaustion. Yes, I know that in today's society most households have at least two parents in the workforce...but this is the day for the fathers.Think about the conversations that you have with your father...and this will differ a little bit between sons & daughters reading this blog...but I'll continue. Sons - you have all the 'Becoming a Man' talks with your dad...and if you have a cool dad that you've hung out with & see as a big brother, so you've seen "Basic Instinct" a few times & had conversations about how hot the Disney princesses are, then it's not nearly as awkward when it finally comes down to it. Also, if you need help with something non-emotional, you'll go to your dad...because they know how to fix things...just don't cry in front of him.
Daughters - from what I understand, it's more of the variety of you incidentally bumps into them on your way to a friend's house. "Where are you off to?" "Jackie's. I won't be out long." "What are you doing at Jackie's? Isn't she that girl that wears too much makeup?" "Daddy, we're going to be studying." "Please, you're not dressed like you're going to be studying. I remember going to 'study parties' when I was a kid. That's how we got your older brother. You're not going to study at Jackie's." "I hate you. You never let me hang out with my friends. We're just studying." "OH!!! I'd love to spend some time studying with my daughter. What subject is it? Math? History? English? If you say Anatomy, you're grounded." It's not that your father doesn't like you...he just doesn't want you to make a mistake or put yourself into a situation for mistakes to happen...like your older brother. Sure, he's a little strict sometimes...but you're his princess & he wants you to find a prince, not that cocky guy on the basketball team (cockblockin' son of a...). Besides, if you wanted emotionally delicate handling of a situation, you have mom for that. IF Dad uses soap, it's that stuff that gets axle grease out of concrete. Mom uses stuff that smells good. Who do you think is more sensitive?
What to get Dad - Now, traditionally ties, socks, & other useless articles of clothing are popular. Tools are much much better. Since my dad has all the tools that he could possibly want (because he's spoiled & knows how to use them), I usually like to get him action movies...preferably with attractive female co-stars. Why? My stepmom won't watch them with him...so he has a little solo relax time to see stuff blow up, hear a few one-liners, & maybe get some full frontal nudity. It's the family-appropriate version of buying the old man a lapdance, which if you live in a state where lapdances are lapdances and not cockteases, you should definitely get your dad one...but I'm in Utah, so it doesn't work out that way. If you're a daring individual, you could get an outfit for your mother to wear FOR your dad...but that's a shady area of morality...and you hopefully don't know your mom's dimensions...and it's just plain weird. I'm just trying to think outside the box. Look in your heart. You know what Daddy wants...and it ain't a tie.Speaking of fathers, my brother set up a MySpace account & I told him that I'd 'advertise' for him on my blog. So if you like my blog, you may like his MySpace (Kielv). If you like 80's cartoon theme songs & funny stuff, he's got just about all of them (Thundercats to Captain Planet to Chip & Dale's Rescue Rangers). "Ch-ch-ch-Chip & Dale!!!" Sorry, it was a catchy one. Here's a picture of him with his daughter Kairi (brownie points if you know where he got the name from). After a custody decision, he now has a new 3 year old daughter Kelaudri, who I met for the first time over the weekend...and I think she has a crush on me. I'm telling ya, if the girl's under 18 or over 40, they love me...but in between those ages, it's like Shaq at the free throw line, sometimes I get lucky.
Also, I was forwarded a wonderful news story about a 73-year old Indian man (red dot, not feather) named Shivcharan Jatav. As the story goes, he was approached by an army recruiter in 1969 & told him that it would help his chances to get into the military if he passed his high school equivalency test. At the time, he was a 35-year old farmer who had no formal education, but he decided to give it a shot to serve his country...and apparently become a more eligible bachelor. See? In some cultures, brains ARE sexy. Anyway, he took the test...and unfortunately failed. So he took it the next year...and failed again. Did that stop him? No way. So last week, he took the exam for the 39th time...and failed every section EXCEPT SANDSKRIT!!! That's like a beet farmer speaking fluent Latin. What's the moral of the story? If at first you don't succeed, try try again...and maybe pick up an ancient language to impress the chicks along the way. Also, don't judge a person based on how they do on tests. Yeah, he may not know how to add & subtract...but the main can farm. How many of you know anything about horticulture? If I gave you a flat piece of land & a few backs of seeds, what could you make? We all have our skills. They're just different...and that's what makes them great. Anyway, check out the story for yourself...and never give up, never surrender.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070615/ap_on_re_as/odd_india_failed_exams;_ylt=AuU8c0cKuTioKfAKa6J4EE0DW7oF
Also, this guy may be playing us all for fools. He's mastered an ancient language but can't seem to master addition. Maybe he's playing an ill-educated man off to score the megahottie. Just look at what it did for this guy...
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