For Heather

Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen,

In an earlier blog, I mentioned some of my views on religion...or lack thereof...and this was brought upon by a discussion with a good friend of mine, Heather. I didn't put in several key things though because...well, I just didn't. For example, I mentioned my Buddish nature, where I'll wait for things to go on sale...and she rather enjoyed that. The other day, she told me that she felt ripped off because I didn't mention some of this stuff...so today, this blog entry is for her.

Why I think Mormons rock - Being born & raised in Utah, I've been submerged in the LDS culture. Their cuisine is incredible & includes such delicacies as Funeral potatoes, fry sauce, & many infusions of Jell-O & various fruits & vegetables...yet they seem to steer away from caffeinated products (whereas I have Mountian Dew flowing in my veins). The people are extremely nice...almost too nice. They don't even swear. They even send people to my house every few weeks, wearing nice button-up shirts, ties, & slacks (so I feel REALLY underdressed when I answer the door in a robe...but they woke me up at the crack of noon) and they not only offer to hang out with me & tell me about this cool book that they've read (a lot) but invite me to these brunches that they have on Sunday mornings with their friends. It's a little unsettling that they refer to the other guy as their 'companion' but hey, that's their lifestyle & I'm cool with it. I have to admit that I'm a little flattered & all...but I've mentioned how I like to spend my Sundays...resting, watching sports, & making my place liveable by government institution standards. So I usually decline...but being the resiliant people that they are...they keep coming back occasionally to see how I'm doing & if I've changed my mind. it's always good to know that they offer is out there...just in case.

Now, one of the top reasons that I think Mormons rock....is the idea of Polygamy. Now, before my female readers get all flustered & call me a schovanistic pig (See? I don't even know how to spell it), please allow me to explain myself...at least in part. I am all for the idea of Polygyny as well (one woman + many men) and if you can do it, do it. However, I've found throughout my journey called Life...that it is much much harder to find a good man than a good woman. In fact, I'll go as far as to say that there is AT LEAST a ratio of 10:1 great women to good men. So, with that in mind, why is it so awful for one good...nay, GREAT man to have a few wives that he cares for, respects, provides for, & wants to raise many, many wonderful children with? What is so wrong with that? There are plenty of single mothers out there that would be (and are) agreeing with me. I don't know, maybe I'm old-fashioned (like 19th century frontier old-fashioned) but that makes a lot of sense to me personally.

Many of you ladies out there are probably saying "But you can only love one person, $teve (or Dr. Love, I answer to both)!!!" That is simply not so. No, I'm not talking about Chef singing about simultaneous loving...because that is definitely possible...and how!!! To me, there is A Love and THE Love. Allow to elaborate...so that you can see where I'm coming from.

A Love - Is the Love that you have for friends, other people that you barely know, a favorite sports team, an idea, somebody's cute shoes, pancakes, a fully-restored muscle car, chocolate, or anything else that you basically wouldn't hurt, maime, or kill for...but you'd still sacrifice a little bit for...whether it's making someone smile & brighten their day or depart with $5 to get an endless stack of flapjacks. This is what I also refer to as "The Overused Love" because it stems from the statements that I hear many people say like "Oh, I LOVE Fallout Boy" or "Oh, I LOVE your shoes. Where did you get them?" and the like. Still good & all...but it's not THE Love.

THE Love - Is the Love for your family, great friends, significant other, 'companion', Wingman, and all of the other people (even pets) that have helped you to become the great person that you are and want to be. They complete you & compliment you in every aspect of your life and you would do anything for them. This is the kind of Love that you can share with your other wives or husbands to make your Compound in southern Utah or wherever else you can find a nice plot of land to start one up. The main thing to remember is...it's illegal to MARRY more than one person. If you all have a cohesive unit of friendship, mutual respect, & Love than the Man can't hate on that Game, they can only hate the Playa. If you just leave marriage out (which causes a lot of legal mumbo jumbo anyway) then it's all good. That's what my Wingman tells me...and he's not a Lawyer...but he plays one on TV.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the Mormon culture & what I've learned from them...besides how to make some bitchin' potato dishes. Feel free to share your thoughts with me on the subject. Have a groovy day!!!

Conspiracy of the Day - Earlier I mentioned that the Mormon culture is suspiciously nice. When I spent a month in China, every person that I met there was incredibly nice (except the guys with AK-47s in their hands playing crossing guard) which leads me to believe that - The Chinese are planning something...soon. Probably after the Olympics.........but no people can be THAT nice & not be plotting against you........except me, of course...because I'm pure & geniune. :) See? That's me smiling convincingly.