Making a Mix Tape

Occasionally, I'll go on & on about how much I enjoy the Funk, R&B, and other music genres with new acquaintances...and they tell me that they are not too familiar with them. So I'll offer to make them a little mix tape (CD because I'm too cool for cassettes but not cool enough for the MP3 format) so that they get to experience it. So far, I've had good reviews. If you'd like a copy of my Funk mix entitled "Funk Me Gently" or an R&B mix (title varies) or anything of that sort, let me know. I don't do country though...as my profile states. Johnny Cash & Kris Kristofferson is about as country as I go...and I worked at a dairy farm for two years. Anyway, here's a rundown of what's on my latest R&B/Bump & Grind mix that a made for a friend going to have a quick surgery later this week. Get well soon.

1. "Slow Jamz" by Twista, Kanye West, & Jamie Foxx - Though technically not R&B, it sings its praises and has a nice smooth rhythm to introduce the rest of the CD. By the way, if you haven't heard Jamie Foxx's "Unpredictable" album, you should check that out too. It's also a nice song to start the album off on...because it doesn't explicitly imply that you intend on getting down to business...just bump & grind a bit...then the track ends and moves to...

2. "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye - The man died too young...but his legacy lives on. By the time the opening riff is over, you know it's on. This is the quintessential smooth R&B baby-makin' song. This song is solely responsible for more sexual intercourse than senior prom.

3. "Turn the Lights Down Low" by Smokey Robinson - Do you remember the song that you made love to for the first time? Well, this was mine. It was actually to Smokey's Greatest Hits album...but this was the song near the end of the album when I first...well you know. I'm interested to know anybody else's though, so feel free to share.

4. "I'm Gonna Love You" by Barry White - You can just listen to Barry White's Greatest Hits all the way through...and it's an orchestral masterpiece of hot, steamy passion with a pleasant baritone...but this song starts out with the trademark one-sided conversation that builds into the song.

5. "When You Wanna Come" by Brian McKnight - I haven't heard his latest album "Gemini" but you should check out his "Superhero" album if you get the chance. This is just a smooth song about taking the time to make it an experience for her. Because like a wiseman once said, "Sex is like Chinese food, it ain't over until you both get your cookie." I also like the reference to Frankie Goes To Hollywood's hit.

6. "I'll Make Love to You" by Boys II Men - Sure, it's widely regarded as one of the cheesiest songs ever made...but it was really big when I was going to dances in school...and it was on the first CD that I ever got, so it was burned into my skull (the other first CD was Hootie & the Blowfish "Cracked Rear View" also great). "THROW YOUR CLOTHES...ON THE FLOOR!!!" Tell me that part doesn't get to you.

7. "What's It Gonna Be?" by Brian McKnight - Forget all the subtle hints, innuendo, all that other BS, we've been going out for a while, this is what I'm feeling, so what's it gonna be? Obviously he says it a lot smoother than that...but when that's the message of a song, it gets my respect. Again, "Superhero" album...check it out.

8. "Oooh Baby Baby" by Smokey Robinson - Doesn't really fit the theme being more of an 'I'm sorry' kind of song but if you can't apologize with this song...then there's no hope. You messed up. The melody's good though...and as long as you focus on making HER sing the chorus of "Ooooh Baby Baby" then you're off to a good start. Hopefully by this point in the album, you're not paying attention to lyrics anyway.

9. "Peaches & Cream" by 112 - Delicious. Like the song says, "When it comes to eatin' peaches, shorty we don't play." Even Jesus said, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." So it's like a gospel song...from Diddy & 112.

10. "All My Life" by K-Ci & JoJo - Again, one of those songs that was really big when I was in high school...so it makes the album. If I had a say, this would be a definite candidate for my wedding song...but luckily that's not the case.

11. "Let's Stay Together" by Al Green - The good Reverend Al Green is an American treasure. Everybody should at least hear his Greatest Hits album...and I even have the man's Christmas album. You can find it too during the holidays in the $3 bin at Circuit City or something. That's where I found it...and it's worth every penny.

12. "It's Ecstasy When You Lay Down Next to Me" by Barry White - Again, Barry White has gotten more people laid than beer & ruffies combined. "There's nothing sexier than the slither of a lady snake. Oooooh baby..."

13. "Need You Tonight" by INXS - Not fitting for this album for a few reasons...but I had to get a caucasian in there...even if he was a little on the kinky side. Energetic...and it has that nice rhythmic slap in the baseline that can lead to some rosey cheeks & a second wind. Stay away from the autoerotic asphicsiation though. (RIP Kenny)

14. "Bump & Grind" by R. Kelly - Say what you will about the man's personal life (He's no Jacko) but you can't deny that the man makes hits. Most Top 20 hits by any male artist during the 90's? That's right, R. Kelly. Look it up. Sure this song is a little creepy now since the accusations & the video...but I don't see nothing wrong...with a little bump & grind...and neither should you. Not guilty.

15. "Ignition" by R. Kelly - For some reason, every time I hear this song, I want to go driving...for a long, long time. Quite possibly the greatest & most fitting metaphor song in R&B history...and I'm talking about the original, not the remix.

16. "Anywhere" by 112 & Li'l Zane - Ladies, if you asked your man to make love to you on the sneeze guard of the salad bar at Sweet Tomatoes, he would. If it was a cold December night & you wanted him to warm you up at the park in the manger on top of baby Jesus with the Three Wisemen cheering you on, he would. "We can make love in the bedroom, floating on top of my waterbed, kissing you, running my fingers through your hair. In the hallway, making our way beside the stairs, we can do it anywhere. I can love you in the shower, both of our bodies dripping wet, on the patio, we can make a night you won't forget. On the kitchen floor, as I softly pull your hair, we can do it anywhere." We're eager to please...anywhere.

17. "Sexual Healing" by Marvin Gaye - There's a reason this song won a Grammy. Some have presumed that he was singing about his cocaine addiction at this point in his life (It's a tragedy. Please don't do drugs.) but we all have our various addictions...and this is one that I'll gladly admit to. Honestly, I can't hold it much longer. It's getting stronger & strong...and when I get that feeling, I want sexual healing. It's good for me & it's good for you.

18. "Make Love to Me" by Rick James - Who says that Rick James doesn't have a soft side? Sure, he's a little assertive...but some girls really like that. Though most know him as one of the great Funk artists of all time (and the self-proclaimed sexiest mother f**ker ever), this song show just how tender he can be...which isn't much...but he's Rick James, bitch.

19. "Pony" by Ginuwine - Another great metaphor & brings back memories of high school & college. Everybody knows the baseline...and can probably belch it out after a few beers. That's about all I have to say about this song.

20. "Let Me Be Your Clock" by Smokey Robinson - You'll notice that Smokey Robinson is the most popular gentleman in my collection...and for good reason. He & Isaac Hayes are about the only artists that I would pay good money to see in concert...and they're both in their 60's. They should be treasured while they're here...because look at the above list...and tragically many of these artists are no longer with us (Barry, Marvin, Michael, & Rick). I like this song...because as I mentioned, the first few times I gigoogidied my first geschmougidy, I was listening to Smokey...and this was an awfully fitting song. Like swingin' a hammer at the carnival, DING!!!

Anyway, that's my album. I hope that you've enjoyed it. Perhaps some day I'll share my "Funk Me Gently" mix & why it was selected. By the way, big news. I bought my first digital camera today. It's a Sony Cyber-Shot 7.2 MP & it's pretty fly. Hopefully it'll lead to better picture quality on my little adventures...but those are for another day. Tune in next time when we hike up Ogden Canyon with my brother. It'll be loads of fun. Until next time, this is $teve a.k.a. Dr. Mookie Tockenbaut Love signing off...

Peace...