Favorite Fears - Part 2 (E-G)

As part of my ongoing quest to help myself & others overcome their fears. Here's more of my favorites...and ones that I just found very interesting.

Ecclesiophobia - Fear of Church - What could possibly be scary about a meeting of townspeople where they hum monotonic ritual odes between sitting in silence while surrounded by statues of a tortured man on a crucifix & his very sad mother??? If you truly want to have a holy experience...listen to Charlotte Church sing. Just look at her. It is as if an angel were sent to Earth to sing Christmas Songs.

Editophobia - Fear of being Edited or Deleted - Does this count with regards to plastic surgery? Is this like a fear of change? Or is it more like the ever present fear of that Hitman in the bushes finally striking? I know he's there. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR???

Eisoptrophobia - Fear of Mirrors or of Seeing Oneself in a Mirror - Not a prevalent fear of Vampires...but definitely with regards to homely people like me. You wake up in the morning, a little groggy & disoriented. Suddenly there's a gigantic monster waiting for you in the bathroom as you flip on the light switch, "AAAAGH!!! Jesus Chr...oh...it's me again. Damn it!!! Every time."

Eleutherophobia - Fear of Freedom - I thought this was just something referred to in a good Nicholas Cage movie (see "Con Air") but apparently it's real.

Ernetophobia - Fear of Vomiting - One of my least favorite things to do & why I keep my consumption in moderation. I can understand this phobia.

Enetophobia - Fear of Pins - I'm convinced this is why some girls don't like bowling. However, notice that the only difference in the spelling of this phobia from the last is the letter R, which stands for Ralph. Think about it.

Enissophobia - Fear of Criticism - I enjoy criticism...because I'll listen to you...but that doesn't mean that I'm going to change. I always like to see things from a different perspective or angle though (as opposed to always from the gutter or a bird's eye view) so please, criticize all you would like.

Eosophobia - Fear of Dawn or Daylight - Why do Vampires always get brought into my fear discussion? Weird, huh? I have a fear of Daylight myself...and if you've ever seen that Sylvester Stallone movie, you would agree with me.

Epistolophobia - Fear of Writing Letters - This is why the internet was invented. Honestly, who writes letters by hand now? Grandparents? Whatever happened to Pen Pals? I had one...back in the 3rd grade. Then the internet became popular so I have friends in other states...but that's about it. Maybe I should send my Italian friends Matteo & Virginia a message. Oddly enough, I think they live in Ireland now...and say that it's beautiful & green & the people are very nice...but they say it sarcastically.

Equinophobia & Hippophobia - Fear of Horses - Little known fact, Hippopotamus is Greek or Latin for "River Horse" and they kill more Africans than any other animal (lions, tigers, bears, oh my). Hungry hungry hippos indeed.

Ergophobia - Fear of Work - Have you done your ergonomics today? "Sorry boss, I can't come in today. I...I just...I'm just afraid to come to work today." "Oh, don't be scared....you're fired. Take the rest of the week off."

Erotophobia - Fear of Sexual Love or Sexual Questions - "Oh, you mean Cloitus?" Some parents really fear this stuff...but please don't. Think of it this way. Would you like to tell them about the Birds & the Bees (whatever that means) or some teacher getting paid twenty grand a year to tell kids about history...but only up until World War II??? Or better yet, their friends??? Think about it. If all else fails, let Dr. Mookie Love tell them about it.

Eurotophobia - Fear of Female Genitalia - "Claire, this is always hard to say...especially to a friend...but we're hear to kill your vagina!!!" "Don't you dare." "Sorry Foxy, but that thing is dead meat...curtains!!!" Season two of Drawn Together comes out on July 10th!!!

Fearaphobia & Fearophobia - Fear of Developing Fears - Does it seem redundant to anybody else?

Frigophobia - Fear of Cold Objects - "Is that a bear in my Frigidaire??? I think it is...and he's eating MY porridge...and drinking MY BEER!!! HONEY, GET MY GUN!!!"

Gamophobia - Fear of Marriage - Hmm, I would have thought fear of Game...but my lady friends tell me about men having this fear. Let me break it down for you ladies. It's like my Grandma used to tell me, "Why buy the cow when you get the sex for free?" and yes, she was a farmer.

Geliophobia - Fear of Laughter - Laughter is my heroin. I can't understand this one at all.

Geniophobia - Fear of Chins - Suggestions: Stay out of China & Milwaukee.

Gerontophobia - Fear of Old People or Growing Old - I worked some community service hours at a home for the elderly (long story not involving criminal activity) and it is there were I learned that Old People can be a valuable resource or knowledge & experience...but not all of them. Some just give you evil stares, nonsensical gibberish, vulgar comments, & a rank mess to clean up. There's a reason that people are paid to watch those Old People...and it's truly a noble & valiant profession in my opinion. My hat's off to them.

Globophobia - Fear of Balloons - I wonder if my friend that's afraid of Clowns is also afraid of Balloons. I'll have to ask. I wonder if Balloon animals & Hot Air Balloons are included in this phobia. "I'm sorry, baby. Here, I got you a bouquet, some balloons, and a Teddy Be..." "AAAAAAGH!!!" "Oh my God, I'm sorry. Is it the Bear?"

Graphophobia - Fear of Writing or Handwriting - This may be why there's a fear of writing letters. Perhaps this is a subconscious fear bestilled upon us by Bill Gates & Paul Allen in an effort to abolish literacy & make us all their serfs. Conspiracy of the Day? Yes, I think so.

Gymnophobia & Nudophobia - Fear of Nudity - I wonder if ALL my Favorite Fear emails will end with some fear about me bearing my naked body. That would be sweet.


Anyway, as always, I'm glad to help you all overcome your fears...so feel free to let the Doctor know how he can help. Have a great night & tune in tomorrow...when I discuss the NBA Draft & other various thoughts.

Today's Fortune Cookie from Pei Wei - "You will be thankful for the pleasures of the coming months." As some of you may know, I'm kind of a fanatic about fortune cookies (American invention, not used in China) and I usually take their optimistic messages whole heartedly. In fact, you might say that I'm Optimist Prime...like my balloon friend a few inches above this line. An interesting little nugget of information, a few hours after receiving this message, I re-entered the Singles Market. What does that mean? Just wait & see what sinful pleasures I will be thankful for in the coming months...and I do mean that as a double entendre. Wish me luck!!! Peace!!!