Home Delivery

Good Morning Everyone,

As promised, I am here bright & early...ready for another day of work...followed by an afternoon of napping. By the way, at what age does napping become taboo? Is it around 2nd grade or so, when it's no longer part of our school schedule? Maybe there's something to this Siesta thing that I keep hearing about in Mexico...and similar lunch breaks in major European countries. When did America become too cool to nap? Well, I say that we bring it back. Much like Justin Timberlake attempted to bring Sexy back (and did a fairly good job for a dude), I'm going to bring Nappy back. Wait, that doesn't sound right. Well, you get the idea, right? Anyway, back to my original thought on this scattered morning.

Those of you who know me, know that I don't always have luck with the ladies. Now now, I know that I'm not batting 1.000 every game. The pitchers get switched up every few innings & sometimes the balls don't even seem to fit the sport...but we keep on swinging away...maybe chasing a few curveballs here & there...or watching some straight-up fastballs blow right past us...but you keep trying until you get one in the sweet spot...and send her out of the park. Okay, so that metaphor is a little flawed...but it's a lot better than knocking one out of the (trailer) park. Anyway, I got to thinking (as I occassionally do) about those who have even less luck than me out there...and some of the alternatives. That's when I got to thinking about mail-order brides.

Why? - Please let it be noted, that this situation is not Plan A. Personally, whether it's a companion or a car, I usually go with the old U.S. of A. first...but in these modern times, buying American can be financially unsettling. Did you know that when Neil Diamond divorced his second wife in 1995 it costed him over $150 million dollars? "Love on the Rocks" indeed. The man's an American treasure. Also, I'm one to promote international trade. As long as the product is high quality & its presense in the global marketplace isn't saturated, there's potential for a real market. Now, I haven't looked into the whole 'legal' aspect of mail-order brides...but I'm thinking that it's somewhere between marrying for a green card & tearing the tags off your mattress...so in what we call, the Grey Area. Also, because I've had no real desire to check the internet (at work) for information on this, any website that you're aware of would be helpful...and may shed some light on this issue. To be honest, I don't even know how much they would cost, if they're delivered by crate, what kind of a warranty they have, or anything of that sort. Not surprisingly, I checked eBay to see what they show...and apparently Valerie Bertinelli (formerly Mrs. Van Halen) was in a movie called "Mail Order Bride" but that's about it.

When? - My friends are pretty convinced that if I'm not married by the time that I turn 40, they're going to get me one...but I don't trust their judgement as a surprise...so I'm sure that I'll be involved in the selection process.

What? - Now, I like the affordability of the Asian models...and I've heard from others that the maintenance costs are very reasonable. However, I'm a little concerned about size...because I'm a Cadillac-driving kind of guy. The Italian models are sexy, streamlined, & expensive...but I've been told that they're worth every penny if you can afford them. I've also been intrigued by the Eastern European models. However, I think when it all comes down to it...I like the idea of a Brazilian model. They could turn a major profit in this market. Dark monochromatic coloring, curvy streamlined engineering, an engine that seems to run forever, complete with a sexy sound system, it's all good. Think about it. All those Victoria's Secret supermodels have sisters & cousins, right? Anyway, feel free to send me your thoughts on the issue...even if it's that I'm an incredibly insensitive person for considering it. You're probably right. I should definitely do more research. Anyway, time for a brownie breakfast. Have a great Father's Day weekend!!!

P.S. Again, congratulations to the San Antonio Spurs!!! Happy Birthday Steph!!!