Don't Be That Guy!!!

Your buddy is getting married!!! Good for them!!! They're taking those sacred vows & committing the rest of their life to someone else & starting a family together. It's truly a memorable experience that nobody will forget...and even if so, there are plenty of pictures to refresh yourself during that stroll down Memory Lane. The reception is nearing a close...and you & your buddies have had a few to drink...so you think out loud, "Hey, wouldn't it be funny if we mess with their car & put balloons, silly foam, Cheez Whiz, pop cans, & all that other stuff on it? That'd be cool, right?" Your buddies agree & so you slip out to make the necessary adjustments. You return to the reception with a mischievous grin on your face...and a new-found sense of self-satisfaction. After the presents have been opened & most people have left for other activities, the bride & groom walk out to realize that their car has been ransacked. "Oh my, what has happened to my car? Who did this? Oh...you guys...always messing with me. Schucks!" The next morning, the groom makes a terrible discovery while cleaning off his car...the horror...the horror...







Do you SEE what happens to cars when you don't use the proper novelty equipment in your childish escapades? You took a perfectly fine Plymouth Acclaim & turned it into an abomination. How does that make you feel? More importantly, how does that make the owner feel? They can't afford a new paint job. For God's sake, they registered at Wal-Mart. They saved up for a house, man. A two-bedroom on the shady side of the tracks next to the home of the crazy cat lady with the smell of feces & meth coming from it.


PLEASE use proper precautions when vandalizing other people's cars. Better yet, DON'T DO IT!!! Hahaha, the old tradition of trashing a car on a wedding night...it started back when the lead & metal cars of the past could take it...now they're mostly fiberglass & paper mache. When/if I am married, I will be taking a cab or hitching a ride to my wedding...because if this happened to my Brandy or my Baby, I would hunt you down. Just leave other people's cars alone. Period. It's not cool. It's not funny. Spread the word to your friends & family that this behavior is NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE!!! Thank you...I've said my piece.

On a sad note, Edwin Traisman of Madison, WI died Tuesday, June 5th of a heart attack at the age of 91. Who is Edwin Traisman? He was the brilliant food scientist who created the process of freezing McDonald's french fries and developed.......Cheez Whiz. Without this man, we would not know the sheer joy of spraying cheese product into our mouths. Not only that, he also used a similar process to make the individual cheese singles. "Mmm sixty-four slices of American cheese...(drool)..." Having owned several McDonald's franchises in the Madison area, he also was the first employer of WOMEN in the company & nearly lost his franchises because of it. A true pioneer!!! He is survived by his wife of 44 years, Dorothy. Our condolences go out to his family.

On a lighter note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Alisa!!! The Spurs won Game 1 of the NBA Finals last night in convincing fashion. Paris Hilton is on house arrest apparently...which is the equivalent of staying in the Presidential Suite at the Hilton...only pinker, fluffier, & the mattress is dirty. However, Paris Hilton has taught me one thing - It doesn't matter how horrible of a person you are...as long as you have lots of money & a good publicist, you can do ANYTHING!!!

Have a great weekend...and I'll catch up with y'all on Monday.