Before I Go

Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen,

A little bit of sad news this morning as I've learned that the celebrated author Madeleine L'Engle has passed away at the tender age of 88. She is the author of one of my favorite books growing up, "A Wrinkle In Time." One of my favorite aspects about her career is that her award winning book was repeatedly rejected by publishing companies, primarily because they thought that she wrote over the heads of a child audience. However, she stuck to her ability, was eventually published, and released a masterpiece into the world of literature. Now, I know that a lot of you out there are writers (because what else is blogging if not writing...poorly, in my case) and I've read some of your stuff out there. Most of it is really, really good. I also know that some of you are trying to get published out there. Keep up the good fight. All it takes is for some editor to feel your body of work, then your writings well be thrust upon the world, then you may have a timeless classic like Ms. L'Engle. Don't forget Dr. Love when you get that signing either. I'd like a nice royalty check from a collection of my rants and life lessons learned.


Wednesday is the birthday of the late great Barry White. Since I'll be out of town & unable to talk about it then...I shall go now. Has there ever been a more sultry baritone in all of music? Possibly not. The man is a legend in the realm of rhythm & blues, disco, and soul music. His music has captured the soul...and may be responsible for a good portion of children born since the 70's. He grew up in southern Los Angeles, joined a gang at 10, and was jailed for four months at 17 for stealing tires. While in prison, he apparently listened to Elvis sing "It's Now or Never" and thought that he should start a music career. Throughout the seventies, his music was a hit & you can listen to a great compilation of his greatest hits at your local dealer. It's worth the $15 (or less if you go to Wal-Mart). Unfortunately, the "Sultan of Smooth" passed away on the 4th of July 2003 from renal failure (blood pressure) but his music with the Love Unlimited Orchestra still burns strong in the hearts of lovers...and plays often in the CD player at the home of one Dr. Mookie Love. We miss ya, big guy!!! Happy Birthday!!!


Mile High Skirts - Okay, so this lovely woman / Hooters waitress Kyla Ebbert was escourted from a Southwest flight because her outfit was too revealing. Now, I have examined this outfit thoroughly...and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Nothing whatsoever...and my fashion expert friends agree...and yes, they are women. Now, I have been on many a flight in my day. I will be on two tomorrow and two more on Thursday. If I am ever blessed to have a 23-year old Hooters waitress sit next to me, first I look for a hidden camera, then I praise Jesus for his multitude of blessings, then I try to start a conversation, then I usually spend the rest of the flight in an awkward silence. Regardless, if a stewardess comes up to her & escourts her off the plane, I feel it's my obligation to defend her honor. "Wo wo wo, excuse me Miss. What seems to be the problem?" "Some of the other passengers can see her underwear when she reaches down for her camera." "And the only problem with that is that I can't, so why is she getting kicked off the flight? The guy on the other side of me has his left ass cheek on my armrest. The baby behind me has been crying since she was waiting to board. You're going to make me watch some Brittany Murphy movie. Can't you just give me this visual stimulation for the remainder of my flight?" "Sir, return to your seat." "I would...but Jabba there just ripped a big one & I think that it's mildly corrosive. Oh...and Kyla, you dropped your pen. Oooh, thank you." She HAS to be guaranteed a job with Hooters Air now. They still operate out of Atlanta & Myrtle Beach, right? I mean, what? Hooters had an airline? You betcha...


Panda World News - The Women's Soccer Team for both the United States & Sweden visited the Giant Panda Breeding Centre & Sanctuary in Chengdu, China. This just further instills my values of wanting to be reincarnated as a Panda. When the U.S. & Swedish women's soccer team (Have you seen their legs?) come half way across the world to visit you, then you have it made. "Yes, feer my fur. I'm so cute & squeezabry soft. Gimme a hug. Oh GOD, you work out. Prrrrrr..." That's right, I just made a panda talk in a bad Chinese accent & purr like a kitten. That's the beauty of blog writing...and I need to establish that it was the Panda talking...and not one of the players. It's the best that I could really do on this medium.


Fond memories of China return to me every time that I think about Pandas...and the fact that they're fed & bathed by beautiful Chinese girls...and now, it's time for today's movie list...


Martial Arts Movies


Medal Winners - I have an extensive martial arts collection. I'm a bit of a Kung Fu geek. Here are some of my favorites.


Gold - Enter the Dragon (1973) - Bruce Lee was a GOD!!! Period. Everything that I've read about him, everything that I've seen him in, everything that I've heard about him, is basically perfection of mind, body, & spirit. He was truly a blessing to this planet during his lifetime...yet tragically it wasn't until long after his death that he was truly appreciated...by receiving a gold medal on my blog. I'm just playing, but still..a God among mortals. His tireless training regimen, his willingness to be the best at everything that he does, his learning through experience & meditation, and well on his way to making some of the greatest films & writings of philosophy and discipline (Tao of Jeet Kune Do) in his lifetime...which was mysteriously & tragically cut short. This movie was his lasting legacy...and I'm glad that they're going to remake it...but who could possibly replace Bruce Lee? If you've never seen other classics such as "The Chinese Connection" or his unfinished masterpiece "The Game of Death" with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar back when he was Lew Alcindor or "Return of the Dragon" with Chuck Norris, then you can stop by my place & we'll check them out.


Silver - The Protector (2005) - This kid Tony Jaa may be the next action superstar. If he spoke English, he would be unstoppable when it comes to action movies...but this Thai warrior is incredible. It's hard to describe exactly what this guy can do...but this movie does a pretty good job of showing he (and the human body in general) is capable of with extensive training & discipline. This movie shows the various styles & artforms of martial arts fighting...and is visually captivating...just don't pay attention to plot lines. That's a staple of most kung fu movies. You kind of have to stretch the mind beyond cause & effect...and just focus on the fighting. This was very close to taking the gold...but I'm sure that Tony & director Prachya Pinkaew wouldn't mind losing out to Bruce Lee either.


Bronze - Kill Bill (2003-2004) - Quentin Tarantino makes a badass Martial Arts movie. You knew that it was going to make the list. It takes all the good and the great of kung fu classics and puts them into one movie with great performances ranging from big stars like Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu, Vivica Fox, Daryl Hannah, Michael Madsen, & David Carradine to astounding cameo performances by Sonny Chiba, Michael Parks, Gordon Liu, & Samuel L. Jackson. They stretched it out to two volumes...but there's a reason why. It would have been four hours long...and look what happened with "Grindhouse" when it was only three hours or so with some of the funniest previews ever made in between. This movie is awesome & I thank Quentin for making it. You rock playa!!!


Suggestion - Ong Bak: Thai Warrior (2003) - This was Tony Jaa's debut as a star...and it's absolutely amazing. A great taste as to what he does in "The Protector" but still worth a watch. What I especially like about the Tony Jaa / Prachya Pinkaew movies is that they show some of the culture of the Thai people through their movies...and they're visually stunning & simply amazing...if you fast forward through some of the plot points. Just know that a chase or a fight is coming and have your slow motion ready. If you think Jean Claude's "Kickboxer" was an intro to muay thai kickboxing, consider this the Ultimate Kickboxer.


Flush It - Steven Seagal, Period (1988-Present) - Okay, I'll admit that I've seen most of his movies because my dad loves him for some reason. He's mildly amusing...but I just can't stand watching him squint at a guy, say his pointless lines in that soft chain smoking whisper of a voice, and then when the guy attacks with a knife or something, he does the great self defense tactics, snaps their wrist, & the drop to the ground like Britney at the VMAs. It's also usually a bunch of camera cuts & stuff too. Why doesn't somebody just shoot him? Yeah, he's an award winning martial artists & I respect that. I'm just saying that I don't like his movies. Also, how can you mess up a relationship with Kelly LeBrock? Seriously. Sure, she may have been crazy...but she was also crazy hot. Oh...and he just completed starring in some parody called "The Untitled Onion Movie" as the character Cock Puncher. God help us all!!! At least he's a fellow panda fanatic.


Future Watch - Remakes & Tony Jaa (2008 & Beyond) - They're allegedly going to remake "Enter the Dragon" in the next few years. Tony Jaa is filming Ong Bak 2. Jet Li is filming a third Mummy movie. I feel bad for not putting in other great martial arts actor like Jet Li, Sammo Hung, Sonny Chiba, Jackie Chan, Chow Yun Fat, Donnie Yen, Ziyi Zhang, Tony Leung, Chuck Norris, even Jean Claude Van Damme, but I think that most people would agree with me. Martial arts movies are great to see slightly exaggerated violence...but the really good ones leave you with either a sense of respect for the artform...or at least in a state of amazement. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try to catch "War" with Jet Li & Jason Statham before it goes to DVD.


Anyway, I guess that'll be good for today. Tomorrow morning, I leave for New Orleans for a few days, so don't be scared if you don't see a new post. I'll be pack with plenty of pictures & hopefully some good stories when I return. Worst-case, if it was boring & work-related, I'll show you some pictures from my first few trips out there a few years ago...and I may just do that anyway. Until next time, have a great day!!!