A Few Days In Heaven - Part One

Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen,

Work has been busy busy today coming back after a week…to find my work area in utter disarray. Luckily, the Mad Scientist was there to fill me in on all the goings-ons. Best part was…a really hot celebrity sent me an email today requesting my services. For confidentiality sake, I can't tell you who…but it was a fairly good way to start the day. Better than it could have been, I guess. Anyway, I know that you're all excited to hear about my incredibly awesome trip…and as usual, I'm more than happy to tell you about it. However, because I have SO many pictures to show you, SO many stories to unfold, and SO much BS to put up with at work, it may take a while to do. Probably two or three days…so please be patient. I'd also like to wish a special 4th birthday to my niece Kelaudri today. For those of you new to the blog, here are a few outdated pictures of her incredible cuteness. She's really shy right now…but I'm pretty sure that she'll grow up to be a little heartbreakin' ballbuster like the rest of 'em. I'm just kidding. She's a cutie…and I haven't seen my nieces and nephew in too damn long. I'm going to have to stay in town on my days off soon. Otherwise next time that I see them may be their graduation or something. Anyway, happy birthday sweetie!!!

"Step back sweetie! Step back!"

Me and the nieces...about a year ago

Day 1 - Drive to the Wingmans Lair

Well, there was snow falling all throughout my shift…but thanks to my positive thinking from "The Secret" I was going to will the roads dry & safe for my four hour drive to the Wingmans' Lair for the night. I left work about an hour early (with permission of course) and the slushy snow is still falling. First thing on the freeway…is a van so close that I swear he's giving me directions from the backseat…with his brights on. Come on dude. You're in a van. Don't hate me because of the decisions you made. The entire drive was quite possibly the most truly horrific driving experience of my entire life. I say this because…it was the worst that I could remember…but there may be some repressed memory that I'm forgetting…and for good reason. It was even worse than when I drove back from Historic Cove Fort last March with my brother & new sister-in-law from their honeymoon. There were tremendous winds, freeways covered in ice, blinding snow drifts, truckers cooking through going 60+ MPH while I was basically following a train of taillights the whole way, I reached out every few miles to clean off the windshield wiper that I could reach, and somebody was calling me every few minutes (it was the Wingmans worried about me). I swear my fingerprints are permanently pressed into my steering wheel. I was praying…hard. I literally had no idea what to do…stuck in the middle of nowhere in a granny car…so I just gathered up my marbles and followed the train of taillights…and when they got off at Beaver, I drove into the pitch black with snow drifts coming at me, looking like I was flying the Millennium Falcon into hyperspeed, which was cool…and terrifying all at the same time. By the way, I hate driving in the snow. Period. Somebody was still calling me every few minutes…for the past two hours. I was going to call them back as soon as it cleared up…but long story short, it didn't…until I got to my destination…some six hours later.

I had made it…and I sent text messages to about a dozen of my friends & family saying, "Sorry if I'm waking you…but I just wanted to let you know that despite Mother Nature's best efforts, I made it here safely…and I love you all madly." Mr. Wingman's father Buck greeted me with a Hornsby's Apple Cider (delicious) and it took me a good hour to wind down. Then I slept on one of the most comfortable sofabeds ever created. I had made it. This trip could only get better from here…and it did. By the way, here are some pictures of my car the morning after. Notice the headlights covered in about an inch of solid ice (I chipped a little piece out), the tire wells full of compacted snow & ice, and the gigantic crack across the windshield. Luckily, the crack was there before I started driving…but it would have happened anyway. Those truckers leave nice little ice mines along the freeway. That's the main reason that I'm flying to Vegas when I got there in just over a week. I don't want to deal with driving in March again. Central Utah seems to hate me that month. Oh well, I still like to Fillmore Beaver.

Day 2 - Drive to San Diego

The next morning, I awoke to Buck cooking a fine breakfast of Biscuits & Gravy…and yet another Hornsby's Apple Cider. Apparently, Buck knows that I like to go to Vegas…and that I like these beverages…so he probably thinks that I'm an alcoholic. Good man though. His hospitality is unmatched. Now, an ex-girlfriend of mine had me hooked on Biscuits & Gravy for a while…but these were really good too. Then we hit the road listening to my iPod selection…with an arrangement of artists like the Eagles, Billy Idol, Styx, and Green Day during our roughly nine-hour drive to sunny San Diego. We passed through such colorful cities as Zzyzx, Toquerville, and Moapa Indian Reservation. Oh yeah, I think Las Vegas was there too briefly…but it's one of those cities where if you're not looking for it, you'll pass right by it. We did make a stop for a prime rib buffet at Terrible's Casino in Primm, Nevada. We wanted to ride the roller coaster at Buffalo Bill's…but it was closed due to high wind. To me, that's kind of like saying the water park is closed because of a lack of water. You do realize that you're in the middle of a barren desert, right? Anyway, we ate and were merry, then got back on the road. Shortly after that, we came to an exit for Minneola and there was a little slow down on the freeway due to a checkpoint for fruits & vegetables there, so we decided it was a good place to give a leak or dump (because the last thing you'd want to do is take one). However, there was quite possibly the longest line for a restroom that I have ever been a part of.

Buffalo Bill's and the closed roller coaster

Really? I would have guessed much more than that

Home of Minneola's Lone Crapper

Picture of the Wingman in line

There's another picture of about twenty angry

people with full bladders...but at least they had

my flat ass to look at while they waited

I thought this sign was creepy...

because the eyes look into the restrooms

After the pit stop, we hit the road again…and as we approached San Diego, the Wingmans though it would be nice to call family members who used to live there…but now are shoveling snow in Utah…and ask them directions. "So I just came over this hill…and I can see the ocean with the sun setting behind it with beautiful hues of orange, yellow, and purple…and I was wondering which way would be the quickest to get to Coronado Beach? Do I just follow the fresh ocean breeze that blowing throughout the car? Because I'm not going to lie, it's pretty much everywhere over here. Mmm, that mango is delicious. Thanks sweetie. By the way, what's the temperature where you're at?" Yeah, they laid it on pretty thick…but they would have done the same thing given the opportunity. We actually convinced some of them to make a quick drive out to Knott's Berry Farm later in the week.

We arrived at our hotel on Coronado Island, dropped off our luggage, and decided to drive into the Gaslamp Quarter for dinner. After walking around and checking out a lot of the restaurants (mostly Indian, Japanese, and Irish pubs of all things) and checking out a quaint sex shop, we decided to have dinner at Sonny's Woodfired Pizza. Now, I know what you're thinking. "Pizza, when you're at a seaport?" Please don't jump the gun. We had PLENTY of seafood on this trip. In fact, our meal this evening included calamari, coconut shrimp skewers, crab cakes, and Thai chicken pizza shared amongst the three of us. Oh…and a locally brewed amber to wash it all down. Okay, two locally brewed ambers…each. Then we walked over to Ghirardelli's Ice Cream for dessert. Getting back to the hotel proved a little irritating…because the freeway system is very effective if you know how to use it…but we had only been there for an hour or so…and we kept getting on Martin Luther King Parkway somehow. Eventually, we made it back though…and relaxed in the hot tub…with a few tasty beverages. Good friends, good drinks, good place, good times.

Hotel pool - It changed colors every few seconds

"FIIIRRRRRE!!!"

Dock at Night

Day 3 - U.S.S. Midway

The weather was absolutely perfect the entire week, just to get that out of the way. It was a gorgeous clear sunny sky at about seventy degrees and a mild wind to keep you cool…the whole week. I believe that San Diego is basically as close to Heaven as somebody can get with their body intact. I am not the only one that believes this, I'm sure. Anyway, I woke up around sunrise (because I'm weird like that) and took a few snapshots from Coronado Island. Enjoy.
After taking a shower (sorry, no pictures this time) I walked around the hotel a bit…then watched a little documentary about Joe Louis and his career…specifically the fights with Max Schmelling, his tax problems, and how the United States government basically screwed him over for the rest of his life. I had no idea. That stuff is ridiculous. Unfortunately, it happens to a lot of boxers and other athletes with poor management…and either the government or their management will simply screw them over to turn a buck (or rather eight digits of bucks). My apologies to Joe Louis' family. It's simply unforgivable. Anyway, enough about that stuff. We're in San Diego now.

Coronado Bridge - It's awesome

The hotel was very open-aired and

had trees growing fruit...for those of us

who might be able to reach them anyway

Not a bad view from the patio

We drove to Seaport Village for breakfast and stopped at this nice little shack called Anthony's and ordered up some grub. I got a basket of treasures, which was fried scallops, shrimp, cod, calamari, and some crab & Mac salad. It was delicious…especially with a Corona to wash it down. Here are some pictures of Seaport Village.

That's the Star of India in the background

Lord Hornblower

There was also an Inspiration Hornblower

Both are fun to say and mock

Go ahead and try it out yourself

I think it's some kind of Mermaid

outside the visitor's center

About a year and a half ago, we had a day in port on a cruise in San Diego…and I decided to learn how to surf…with a major hangover…because I'm an idiot apparently…but it was still fun…just exhausting. My stepfather had visited the U.S.S. Midway because he's a big WWII geek who likes that kind of stuff. He has a vast collection of models, videos, books, all that stuff about war machines. I think that stuff is cool…but I'd rather go surfing then check out some old boat…or so I thought. The U.S.S. Midway was the first commissioned aircraft carrier after World War II and was active during the Vietnam War and Operation Desert Storm. In 2004, it was decommissioned and transformed into a museum ship. Really, only about a third of it is viewable space…but it's still a all-day activity. We were there for over five hours and it flew right by. If you're into all the cool facts & figures, I'd advise you to check out the link because it's incredibly interesting from a logistical & engineering standpoint…as well as its vast size and use…but that can be boring to read...and I'd love to share pictures with you...but I have a bunch of work right now...and more importantly, Blogger is having difficulty loading my pictures, so that'll just have to wait until tomorrow. I apologize for the inconvenience...but trust me, it's worth it.

Anyway, I think this is going to do it for today. Join me tomorrow as we explore the aircraft carrier and venture into the wild backwoods of San Diego and discover endangered species…and probably drink a few beers and eat some fish along the way to survive. You won't want to miss it. You know that I despise teasing like this...but I'm afraid that I'm going to have to do so. Happy birthday once again to my niece Kelaudri…and congratulations to Bubbles & JJ who have started their new jobs and are nerve-rackingly enjoying it so far!!! Have a great day everybody!!!